Pomme De Sang
by Aspirenauthoress
Summary: A more grown up Breaking Dawn. Bella and Edward become closer as the wedding nears. When she's finally changed she gains a power that helps her feed. Mixing themes from the Hamilton Vampire series. Not a crossover, AU. Very Mature, be warned!
1. FAQ

**F.A.Q. - Because you kept asking.  
**

**Story**

**What happened, where did your notes go?**

I am updating this story to make it a faster easier read. I will reopen an old live journal to extend my explanations for those that care. Not everyone wants to read the author's notes; I never planned to have so many.

**What does Pomme de Sang mean?**

It is French for "apple of my blood." It is from the Anita Blake verse, a vampire series from an author by the name of Laurell K. Hamilton.

**Why did you name this story that?**

Pomme is a Bella/Edward story, which uses universal themes (meaning from the entire genre of vampires) but more commonly references from the Blake series. The ardeur comes from Blake as well.

**What is the ardeur?**

In its most basic form, the ardeur is an ability to feed the vampiric body by sex/lust rather than blood. Bella still must drink blood but her distaste for blood gives her the out of the ardeur. There are powers that help the ardeur feed and these you will see in action.

**I still don't understand the ardeur, why can't she control it?**

These are questions about the plot of this story; this is essentially Bella becoming a vampire and then her first year as one. I could have split this in two, but since my planned sequel will be long I didn't want to have a short first story followed by two longer ones. Just a writer's preference I guess. If you're confused about the ardeur it's easiest to understand by seeing it in action. Read the chapter's with it again and try and focus on what's happening, not just that they're having sex.

**How can I learn more about this Blake person?**

Ah, Anita Blake, vampire executioner. Pick up the books at your library or local bookstore, there are 16 published, while the author is currently working on number 17. You can go online to LKH's website, or blog, check out Wikipedia, or just read the series. You have plenty of options. I stick by the series and love the character growth, I complained with some of the books while others that I should have complained about have become guilty pleasures, no pun intended…

**How long is Pomme expected to be?**

Oh my, I'm not really sure. I didn't expect my chapters to have such high word counts but I enjoy writing it. I have tons planned so no end is in sight yet.

**Will you consider writing x,y,z because I really want that scene.**

Believe it or not this is a well researched and planned story. The sex is sometimes based on what I'm researching, watching, reading, but usually foreshadows future plot points. So I do not take orders for scenes you'd enjoy.

**Your sex scenes are boring, normal, and traditional, give us more positions…**

Ah, youth. The people that tend to ask this question do not and I repeat do not do these crazy positions. I'm going to be frank and say the stuff porn stars do is not comfortable and usually doesn't feel very good for them. The more standard positions are tried and true, I only put in those that I know work. Now don't think too hard on how I know that. This is a story about the connection of the lovers, contrary to some of my reader's opinion, I'm not writing porn. In no point in this story does Edward show up as a pizza delivery guy. I will, however, keep that as an option for the future….

**There's too much sex, not enough plot, your characters are debauch….**

You see what you want to. I take great care in these scenes to keep it true to their characters, yes they have moments of wanting to mix it up, but I don't know a couple that doesn't. These are not old lovers, but a young, vibrant couple, deeply in love. Yes, they'll be having at it all over the place. When I write those scenes it's actually about the ardeur, how they are handling it, what is it making them do, how are they breaking free. My astute reader's always catch it, but those that talk about the porn only see the sex. The lack of depth is not from lack of it. You see what you want to or recognize.

**Do you need a beta?**

I have one now, CajunMomma, thanks for your interest.

**How often will you update?**

With my new beta ), we'll see...

**Characters  
**

**Your Edward says naughty words; Edward would never say that, that's out of character…**

Please… If we're talking Edward from Twilight then yes, I agree. But this Edward is after Eclipse, is about to be married, and eventually is married. I don't know a man that wouldn't take what is his. If you dislike the words that he uses that is your preference, but his use of them is not disrespecting her.

Edward has waited to have her and whether Bella see's it or not he has wanted her in this way. When he gives in, it opens the floodgates of the battle for his control. Edward has always reveled in making Bella react to him; if you think that isn't sexual you're mistaken. This Edward is simply reveling in his newfound powers and is rather possessive of his bride. But then again he has almost lost her many times and they are newlyweds.

Lastly, this is a natural stage of a relationship; do I think it will be in the books? No, not exactly. Meyer writes for a teen audience and in first person. The books are written through Bella's innocence, but that doesn't make Edward innocent. Whether Meyer writes it or not, we can expect a very naughty Edward when he's finally set loose.

**Why are Bella's eyes Silver?**

I don't get asked this enough. The original tale of the succubus entails the story of Lilith the first wife of Adam, yes that Adam, and she is usually portrayed as a sort of medusa. She is the seducer of men, the wielder of snakes, and is seen with the colors of green and silver. I wanted to give Bella a color that would tie to that history.

**What is Bella's animal affinity and what does it mean?**

Lynx/Bobcat: _Lynx is the knower of secrets. They symbolize honesty, open-hearted, non-judgmental counsel, stealth, silence, clairvoyance of secrets of others, suspicion and vigilance. They can help with psychic skills, specifically divination._

**Will we see Jacob?**

No, not as a facet of this story.

**Why is Rose such a B, why don't they include her, are they ever going to be close?**

Bella's relationship with the entire family grows and yes she will have a relationship with everyone. They all grow, including Rose.

**Why is Jasper mean?**

Ah, yes I got asked this a lot from their fight. Jasper is overwhelmed with emotion; he's trying to protect Bella from her own fears and fails. He's angry at himself for not being able to wield his power, he's angry that he couldn't protect her, he's angry that once again he did wrong by her. You will see a running theme as the family gets closer and that they want to make up for their past wrongs. Whether it's addressed or not the family needs to set things right by Bella.

**Why is Alice so controlling, pushy…?**

I don't see this but I get this ask enough to put it up here. Alice knows almost everything that is going to happen when you're with her, what you'll say, wear, do. Because of this foresight she tends to misstep because she knows that you'll agree, or ask for her help anyway. It's annoying at times but it's just who she is.

**Why aren't the Denali's whopping butts or causing chaos like they will be in BD?**

I wanted an essentially happy story while delving deeper into the characters. I planned on giving them this story while the sequel would deal with the Denali's and the Volturi. When you see the Denali's they have one spokesman while the other's remain quiet, they had their motives but that it is a future story.

**Will we ever see the Volturi?**

Not in Pomme really, that is the sequel.

**Awards**

**What awards has Pomme won?**

It was runner up at the Denali Fansite award for "I want you right now award."

While I was on hiatus it also won second place for Best Characterization at the Twilight Awards.

Perhaps I should do something about always being number two, hmm. ..Gets right on that..

**What are you currently nominated for?**

..Crickets.. This is just here in case I ever get nominated again…

**About the author**

**What experience do you have?**

You want to know what makes me think I can write and what makes me think I can write about sex? For those that don't care skip this section. I'm 23, happily married to my high school sweetheart, and I have been writing as long as I've been able to. I've been doing it almost my whole life as I learned rather young. I have been published for poetry, journalism, and a few very small short stories.

**What made you want to write this?**

I was pondering one of the "ifs" for BD; if Bella doesn't like blood what will she be like as a vampire? That simple pondering shaped my dreams, those dreams started attacking me in my waking hours, I would have the most distracting daydreams at work, if you've read my chapters, imagine seeing those repeatedly in your head at work… Yes, so it wasn't a matter of why I should write this, but how quickly I could.

**What other stories have you done/will do?**

I should have a small series out soon called "As I Lay Dying." It is the tale of Cullen's and their individual transformations, starting with Rose. I should have it up soon, though when I add to it will be a question. Then of course you lot decided to have Edward have his own story of Pomme so there's that and the sequel. I'll be busy for a while.

**What books do you recommend?**

Obviously Blake, I mean really. Read Merry Gentry also by Hamilton. I heart Doyle. A reader sent me a message telling me about an author named Ward and her black dagger series; well let's just say it took my breath away. Finally a story that doesn't whine or ask for forgiveness, even I cave, and mine is fanfiction…

Read Karen Marie Moning's series Fae Fever. I've read the Kim Harrison series, but eventually tired of it. A great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray lived up to expectations but also broke my heart.Blue Bloods will finally have another book coming out. It's usually on the top of teen lists for must reads. If you're looking for it, Melissa De La Cruz writes it.

If you want teen there are wonderful stories like Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, or The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. Those books got me through high school. If I think of other's I'll let you know.

**You mentioned a poem once, what was it, why?**

It was a poem I read in fifth grade and opened up a world of literature to me, that of the beauty of poetry. It's a beautiful poem and is Bella really.

**Swan**

Over the mirror

The noble swan slides

While under the surface

She bicycle rides.

Peddle and push

Go inelegant feet,

Peddle and push

To a functional beat.

Above she reflects

A pure classical style,

A marbleized stillnes,

But really the while

Her diligent feet,

Her capable feet,

Her competent, practical,

Hard-working feet

Crank out one more mile


	2. Circles

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I was determined. I knew deep in my soul what I wanted, no needed. I was tired of waiting to have what I wanted. I knew almost from the very beginning that I wanted not just Edward, but to be his equal. Now that we were on the same page, I knew that we had to do this in the right order. We have come too far to throw in the towel now.

But his eyes…

I had been lost in thought about how this is the right thing, truly the only thing I could do. I was unconsciously biting my lip while my heart raced with fear and anticipation of telling Charlie. On the one hand I wanted to do this for us. But on the other Charlie was my father, who didn't approve of my boyfriend now Fiancé, and most importantly I was 18. Marriage is a four letter word. But regret is a bigger one. I won't lose him, not again. Edward is my life surely Charlie sees that.

My thoughts buzzed in a circular motion I needed this but knew that it wouldn't be well received. So my best bet would be one step at a time, tell Charlie, answer his questions, take things as they come. Then I can focus on Renee. Oh God, Renee. Just as I had that horrifying thought of telling my mother Edward's patience ran out.

"Please love; tell me what you are thinking. I cannot bear your silence any longer. We can put this off; we don't have to tell Charlie yet."

But his eyes were smoldering, pleading for me to tell him my deepest thoughts that were still locked from him. Oh if you could only know how very much I love you, I thought, as I drowned in his eyes. He growled lowly in his chest unable to wait for my answer.

"I'm sorry Edward I was just trying to figure out how to drop this bomb on my father. And no, we won't wait; I won't wait for this any longer. We are getting married and Charlie will just have to find a way to handle that."

But inside I could feel the heavy weight of guilt settling in my stomach. I didn't want Charlie to have to handle it. It being the "marriage" thing, I mentally cringed again at the word. I wanted my father to be overjoyed, to love my fiancé, and part his blessings on us. In this fantasy Renee would gush over my ring and complain that she could not run the show as that was already Alice's job. Together my parents would boast about my lovely Edward and everyone would know how destined we were for each other. They'd at least know that we couldn't help it; it was really the only choice.

As I looked at the ring on my left hand I wished so deeply that my parents would accept my choice. I know they fear that I'll repeat their mistakes, or even that Edward might leave again, or that we'll out grow each other… There are so many worries to young marriages. But I knew deep in my soul, through my bones that this was it for me. Edward was my destiny, and oh what a destiny.

I lifted my eyes to my Greek god, marveling in his beauty. He is so very beautiful. I smiled, despite the thoughts of my parents, I couldn't help it. He caught my stare and smiled reflexively. His smile grew crooked and large as he realized that he now had the focus of my thoughts.

For him I could walk down the aisle, I cringed as I considered the likelihood of remaining standing until I reached him. I made a mental note to discuss the aisle with Alice. I wanted to be Edward's forever and if marriage was what that took; I guess I could stomach that. My stomach felt heavier.

My fantasy resumed as I imagined myself proudly showing of my ring amongst my female friends. I would flap my hand around to bring attention to it and to remind everyone that I had the most amazing man. I would discuss details like the dress, and the church, and wouldn't be able to stop smiling. I frowned again trying to imagine me ever acting like that. Surely, if Edward didn't make me like those girls I just couldn't be like them. I smiled; relieved to think that at least I wasn't a failure at being a Fiancé. Sure, I didn't do all those things girls getting married are suppose to do, but I'm sure I wanted him more than any of those girls have wanted anything.

Maybe those girls like the idea of getting married, or maybe they just like dresses and churches and rings. Maybe I'm not a failure. I returned my eyes to Edward; I hadn't realized that I was staring at the ring again. He was still smiling but I didn't understand why.

"Edward?"

I spoke softly the haze of my thoughts still circling for my attention. He turned those dazzling eyes my way and smiled wider. Oh I'd marry you a million times to make you that happy.

"You can't keep your eyes or hands off the ring. If I would've known how much you'd love it I would've showed it to you a long time ago. Maybe then you would've agreed sooner."

I stared in his eyes lost in him; my only thoughts now were Edward, Edward, Edward… His name was a soft mantra in my mind. The thought that his name could be a soft mantra on my lips as a lover made me start to blush. I was a little shocked that the thought appeared but then realized we had almost crossed that boundary. I could have been his lover. My blush grew dark as I replayed his earlier advances again in my mind. I could feel a different weight in my stomach heavier and lower than the guilt felt. I squirmed in my seat feeling uncomfortable as I started to feel myself growing wet.

If I thought that I was a new shade of red before… I was now mortified. I'm sitting in his car and I am getting turned on from nothing. He must think I'm some lust crazed teenager. I groaned and put my head in my hands trying to hide my face and empty the thoughts from my head. I felt his hand on mine pulling my hand from my face, then the other, placing them both on my lap. He then used his hand to turn me towards him.

"Love, I thought I told you to never hide that beautiful face from me. You know you have nothing to be embarrassed about; you can tell me whatever is on your mind, whatever it is you want."

His eyes were smoldering, relaying his intense desire, and I shivered when he said want, as it was heavy and laden with innuendo. I squirmed again and he noticed. His eyes traveled the length of me and seemed to settle on my lap where my hands were resting. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes for a brief moment enjoying whatever he smelled.

Smelled. The thought slammed into me, making me realize that he could smell my arousal and guess my train of thoughts. He opened his eyes and stared into mine. His look was dark and inviting, telling me that I should come closer, but should probably run before he had his wicked way with me. I was so lost in his look and deciphering this new side to him that I didn't blush. He took advantage of my preoccupation and leaned closer taking a deeper breath as he came nearer.

"I didn't think you could smell any more divine but I was wrong. You are exquisite; please don't be embarrassed, if you only knew your effect on me."

His words trailed off but he continued to take deep breaths with small exhalations. I watched entranced with his every movement. His chest heaved with his intake, bringing my eyes to his remarkable chest. I followed the trail of his button up shirt down to his very expensive slacks. He caught my gaze once it settled in his lap and I immediately blushed. His smile grew smug as he watched his effect on me. I was panting trying to regulate my breathing. My legs had slightly parted 

while I watched him and I pushed my knees together so quickly that they hit against the other. I held onto the door for support and used the dull ache in my knees to focus on my new mantra, "the right order, the right order, the right order." Even in my head it sounded breathy and at a higher pitch than normal.

He reached over me, unsnapped the buckle, and pulled me on to his lap. His lips were on mine before I registered that he wasn't driving any longer. His lips were hard against mine, demanding my attention, and possessing me. There was no room in his seat so I was straddled against him. He spread my legs apart and pulled me onto his lap, the movement caused me to moan. I blushed realizing my blunder and tried to remove my lips to breathe.

Edward caught on to what I wanted and moved his lips to my neck. His kisses trailed to my collarbone, he stayed there for a movement. My head dropped back forcing my back to arch myself further into him. It also moved my pelvis closer to his and this time he moaned. That sound was so exquisite that it stopped the mantra that I had been maintaining in my thoughts. I suddenly couldn't think, my thoughts were hazy and unfocused, and all I could focus on was how good it felt to be like this with Edward. His name escaped my lips softly.

He kissed the path of the V on my shirt and lingered at the point. He took another deep breath and then kissed each breast on the outside of my shirt. My breath gushed out and I suddenly had none. He pulled me close and tight and gave me another intense kiss. When I thought that I might faint if the kiss continued Edward pulled away and opened the door. He stepped out picking me up as he did. He gently placed me on the ground but my knees were weak from him. He laughed joyously as I floundered.

"I'll hold onto you my love."

He kissed my forehead and carried me through the rain to my father's doorway. He set me down again at the door and this time my knees were stronger. While he held my waist I managed to open the door.

"Char..Dad I'm home."

I called out. I realized that I hadn't looked for the cruiser before I had entered the house. I turned to Edward my eyebrow raised in silent question. He smirked and pointed to the living room.

"I'm in here Bells."

Charlie called from the living room with the soft sounds of the TV drifting in. I blushed, thinking that Charlie may have seen our little show. Edward smiled and leaned into me whispering in my ear.

"He didn't hear us pull up."

I smiled knowing I was safe from having "that" talk again. I followed the path that my father's voice had led to the living room. Commercials were on giving my father time to look me over before he got lost in the game. I smiled when I walked in holding Edward's hand. My father nodded to Edward and looked closer at me. I was alarmed, suddenly realizing I had been thoroughly kissed and hadn't checked my clothes or hair to make sure I was presentable. Charlie frowned and Edward looked down to hide his smile.

"Ch..Dad um. I'll make dinner."

I started out slow and unsure and sounded very excited to make dinner, Edward knew that I was stalling but Charlie was none the wiser. That is until I turned with newfound enthusiasm to the kitchen exposing my left hand as I passed him.

"Isabella."

The tone was warning, and I immediately turned to look at him, processing why his tone changed so quickly. I frowned not understanding what I did. I looked deeper at my father wondering about his change in mood. His face was angry and seemed to be throbbing with the pressure of restraining himself. I looked down, the ring catching my eye again and gasped. "oh."

This seemed to further inflame Charlie and he stood abruptly from his chair, knocking down an old soda can from beside his seat.

"Isabella, what is that? What is the meaning of this?"

Edward stepped closer to me putting his hand on my waist and kissing the back on my head. The pressure that had built up as I processed Charlie's anger released and I relaxed in Edward's loose embrace. Distracted by Edward I turned my attention back to Charlie. I realized that I had just added to his anger. I needed to calm him before he built up anymore.

"Ch..Dad, um…" I paused briefly stymied on how to calm my father down.

"EdwardaskedmetomarryhimandIsaidyes." Came out quickly in one breath

Charlie took a deep breath while he deciphered what I said. I saw the recognition as it splashed his face. There was a vein in his forehead that seemed to jump with his anger. I watched it hoping for some sign to calm him.

"Sir, I asked Bella to marry me, in fact I asked her months ago, but she only agreed recently. Until today she wouldn't accept the ring."

Edward's velvet words seemed to wrap around the room and caress me. I burrowed further into his embrace and took a breath. I had been holding it somehow thinking that would ease things with Charlie. With my next breath, I took in my love's scent, my body relaxed against my will. Charlie watched me, as he processed Edward's words this time. The furrow in his brow was deep, cutting jagged lines in his face.

"Bella?"

The question was thick in the way he said my name. But I didn't know what question he had so I remained silent. Any anger that Charlie had lost was quickly regained by my silence. He yelled out from impatience.

"What do you mean you asked her months ago?"

I flinched instinctively when he yelled and stepped back into Edward. Edward wrapped his arms around me pulling me into him and leaned into my neck. His breath tickled my skin as he spoke.

"When I, when we came back I asked her. I knew then that I couldn't live without her. I knew that she needed me and I wanted to protect her. I wanted to make everything right and show her how very much I love her. But she still didn't believe that I loved her, so she denied me. I'm not sure why she accepted now, but I know what she has said, and that is that she's ready to move on with her life."

_Her life_ was heavy with the implication that it was my choice. I nodded along with Edward as he spoke. I wanted so badly to turn and see his face; I yearned to look at him. Charlie must have read the yearning on my face because he slumped back into his chair putting his head in his hands.

"It's been clear for months that you two are inseparable. It's even clearer that my daughter loves you deeply. I understand why she chose you. I don't understand how she could let you be a choice though. You left her and she withered without you."

Although Charlie was calmer his words were angry and heavy. I felt the guilt settle in my stomach as I thought of how much my actions had hurt Charlie.

"I agree, sir."

Edward's voice was crisp and to the point. Charlie looked up from his hands shocked by Edward.

"I will never fully deserve her, but I made a mistake in thinking I could save her by giving her the option to choose someone else. Whether I deserve it or not I am her choice. Now I must do all that I can to deserve it, because I won't let her down again. I love her with everything that I am."

Edward's voice wrapped around me and I smiled against him, he was my everything. Charlie watched us with narrowed eyes.

"Okay."

I looked up startled by my father's acceptance. "Whhat?" I asked

"I knew this was coming, I tried to stop it, I tried to get you to fall for someone else, but I was wrong to try. I just didn't want to see you hurt Bella. I know how much he means to you. I just didn't want him to hurt you again. But if he can be there for you, then there's no choice really. You'd never be happy without him."

My father leaned back in his chair seemingly finished with the discussion. I stood shocked staring at him until my stomach grumbled. I blushed and hurried to the kitchen to cook. As I cut vegetables for pasta I wondered if telling Renee would be anything like telling Charlie.

Renee….


	3. Mine

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

Renee…

Dinner was a quick affair. I washed the dishes and turned to say "goodbye" to Edward. I walked him to the door enjoying my view along the way. I wondered briefly if I was always this much of a pervert or if it was spreading. When I reached the door I looked up to notice that Edward caught my stare. I silently told myself not to blush, there's nothing wrong with looking at his butt. Okay, there is definitely nothing wrong _with_ his butt.

My body is a traitor. I blushed faintly compared to my earlier blushes and Edward brought his hand to feel my cheeks.

"You are so very beautiful, I love when you blush. I love it even more when your blush is just for me. I won't be gone long love; I just need to see Alice for a bit. I should be back before you call your mother to help you with that. Call should you need me for _anything_ at all."

He stressed the anything and I instinctively tightened my legs. He leaned in to kiss me, hovering at my lips building my anticipation. I huffed out impatiently when he didn't complete the kiss and he smiled against my lips. Finally, he brought his luscious lips in and kissed me. I wanted his kiss so desperately that I wasn't sure if the lust leaking from the kiss was his or mine. He kissed me until my breath ran out and then he turned to leave. I sighed heavily and leaned against the door as I watched the Volvo speed away.

I was expecting Charlie to want to talk to me, to want explanations, and have questions answered. But when I went in to check on him he looked up at me and said nothing. I regarded him closely, making sure that his emotions were calm, and that he wasn't planning on giving me the silent treatment. But he broke my examination with a quick exclamation.

"Edward didn't have to leave. Don't you still have to call Renee? He should be here for that."

Although, I was shocked at his concern I was also deeply touched. I debated on whether I should tell him that my Edward would be back but decided that less is always more.

"He had to talk to Alice about something. Now that we're really getting married and set the date she's got tons to do. I expect to be harassed by her from now on. He's probably arguing to give me the night off. You know for good behavior and all that."

Charlie smiled, whether at my joke, or the terror that is Alice, I'm not sure.

"You set the date?"

"Um, yes for August 13th."

I answered hesitantly, afraid that his blessing was on a temporary basis; or that by somehow knowing more about the wedding, especially how soon it was he'd change his mind. I held my breath, waiting for his response, hoping that I didn't just ruin the peace. After an eternity he simply nodded at me and went back to watching his game. Stunned by his continued acceptance, I mumbled something about showering before calling Renee.

I climbed the stairs numbly lost in confusion over my father's thoughts. I decided to ask Edward what Charlie was really thinking when he got here. I turned on the shower so it could heat while I brushed my hair and teeth. At least they wouldn't break my concentration so I could continue thinking. I wondered about the change in Edward, he seemed so passionate, almost less restricted. It wasn't the large things really but all the little things that seemed to be changing. And his joy was my joy.

I knew that getting married was his thing but I had no idea that it would make him so incandescently happy. He is always breathtaking, but happy Edward is so beautiful it's painful. Painful because I forget to breathe, or end up doing something foolish like snapping my legs together. I sighed, thinking about what a fool I made of myself in the car. At least it's not one of my worse moments. I cringed deeply thinking of some of my bigger embarrassments.

I hopped in the shower, enjoying the way it relaxed me by degrees. I rounded my shoulders getting the tension out of them. I slowed my breathing and just relaxed into the water enjoying the lack of worries for once. There's always something hanging in the pit of my stomach or on the edge of my mind that I so rarely get the chance to relax. Even my dreams are plagued by my worries. But now that it's over, now that I know what to do, things seem better.

I smiled as I thought of eternity with Edward. I don't think it will be easy; honestly, it'll probably be hard for a long time. But it will ALWAYS be worth it. So while I poured body wash on my loufah I imagined myself as a vampire, imagined myself in eternity. I didn't long for the blood, but I accepted that there had to be some price. I would do my best to keep my soul intact so wherever Edward went I could go. At least now he'd never go somewhere I couldn't follow, and that warmed me deep into my soul.

The truth, that I would always have Edward, further relaxed me as I thought of the trivial things. I needed to do chores; I had been neglecting them with all my worry over the newborns and Victoria. I made a mental checklist of things I would do next time Edward went hunting. The heat from the shower broke my chain of thought. My body was so hot that I felt weak. I held on to the wall for support while I turned the water colder. Since dating Edward I had avoided cold showers; they had the opposite effect on me as they had on others.

The cold water running down my body made me imagine it was Edward's fingers, lips, body caressing me. I was feeling stronger now that the heat was turned down but found that I ached whenever I moved my legs. I frowned looking down at myself wondering what was hurt. It took me several minutes to realize that there was a dull ache coming from that area. I blushed just thinking about it. Every time I moved my legs they rubbed me and it added to my discomfort. I leaned back but the cold water on my breasts was frustrating. Grunting at the shower I turned it off and hurried out of it.

That was a mistake. I tripped on my way out of the shower and landed with a heavy thump on the floor. I was winded, but with no visible cuts or bruises, so by my definition I was fine. I picked myself up and dressed, thankful that Edward didn't hear that. When I opened the bathroom door all the steam rushed out and I was almost sick from the heat meeting the cool air. I paused for a minute acclimating to the cooler temperature and headed to my room.

"You all right up there Bells?"

My father called out from the stairs, I blushed and winced, Charlie heard me.

"Yeah I'm fine no cuts or anything, just another day in the life of Bella Swan."

He laughed at my clumsiness and headed back to the living room. I'm sure somebody had a game somewhere that needed watched. I opened my bedroom door and cringed again at how messy my room was. Okay well, some chores can't wait. I gathered my laundry adding my newest addition to the pile and took it down to the laundry room. I tripped on the last stair but fortunately ran into the wall, now that one will leave a bruise. I started the clothes and headed more slowly back to my room.

A Greek God was laying on my bed, legs spread and arms underneath his head. He also had his eyes closed. I smiled enjoying the view and decided to enjoy it until he stopped me. He opened his eyes and watched me watching him. His breathing grew heavier as I admired him from the door. In my defense, black is really his color. He stood from the bed and walked slowly towards me. This did not stop my ogling, it only increased the show. I loved the way he moves, part predator part lover. It's no wonder women are so fond of him, he even walks sexy.

"Enjoying the view?"

He asked when he reached me. I smiled coyly proud that I didn't blush and nodded. He laughed at my response and pulled me into his arms. Oh Edward. My thoughts fizzled and I stood there wrapped in heaven, wondering idly what I was supposed to be doing. I knew it was something. But when Edward leaned in to kiss me I figured whatever it was could get done later. His kiss was soft and sweet just barely a kiss, but enough to say "I love you." I responded by voicing the words.

"How did I get on the bed?" I frowned while I looked around, when did he move me? I looked up to Edward to find him smiling at my disorientation.

"While I was kissing you." Was his brief answer.

I nodded to show I now understood. I moved around to find my comfy spot in the bed as he looked on in amusement. I held up my hand waiting for the phone and he passed it to me without comment. I paused for a moment to take a deep Edward filled breath and patted the spot next to me. He crawled over and pulled me into him while I dialed my mother's number. It rang 4 times before Renee answered sounding flustered.

"Mom"

"Oh, Bella dear, what a surprise. You haven't called me in a while. Have you even checked your email I left you 4 messages just yesterday? You never respond to those. How are you? How are you enjoying summer vacation? Have you decided which college you're going to…?"

The questions would've continued if I didn't hedge her off. Maybe she was related to Alice or something.

"No I haven't checked, you know my connection here is ancient. I respond when I can get it to work. I am great actually; I'm really enjoying the break. And I told you I'm going to Alaska with Edward. Speaking of Edward, I have news, there's a reason why I called."

I waited with baited breath for my mom to answer.

"What news?"

Her voice sounded choked and raspy. I figured that she had an idea of what I was about to say.

"Edward and I are engaged to be married."

I waited… When the storm didn't come I frowned puzzled. Wasn't she going to yell and scream and tell me I was too young? But instead she was silent.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised. When?"

"August 13th."

This pause was longer; she seemed to need longer to digest what I said.

"Okay, I'll be there. Call me when you know more, love you bye."

But she hung up before I could answer. I stared at the phone for a minute asking it silently to explain that conversation to me. I decided I would give my mother time and then try again. It was a big bomb to drop on her. But I knew that my mom more than anyone saw that I needed Edward. With that thought I turned to him wondering if he could make heads or tails of what was going on with my mother. He smiled gently at me, causing me to smile in return. He kissed the furrow in my eyebrows until I relaxed my face.

"She probably just needs time to consider your conversation and gather her thoughts; she loves you and wants the best for you. She was also considered your best friend, but is still your mother, so I'm sure she's fighting which side will win. You've been very brave today; I know you dreaded telling them."

"How about a reward?"

His words had the reaction he was going for because my body responded before I even processed everything he said. My heart was racing and my breath came harder struggling to get air into my lungs. Just the possibilities of Edward and rewards put me on edge. He gently took the phone from my hand and pressed my body back into the bed. He hovered over me. His body was close but I couldn't feel the weight of it. He brought his lips close to mine but didn't complete the kiss. I frowned annoyed that he was toying with me again.

"I'm not teasing you love, in fact I plan on giving you whatever you want. I was just testing how comfortable you are with me on top of you."

I arched my back slightly just by his words. They were sweet caresses that seemed to reach deep inside me, pulling me closer to him. It took me a minute to get what he was saying, and even longer to understand that I was now in charge of our boundaries. When his lips fell on mine I wondered why we needed boundaries. He licked my lower lip and sucked on it causing me to moan. I sighed knowing that this was a bad start if I was already losing control.

Getting a reaction from me spurred Edward on, and he pushed his tongue between my lips telling me to let him in. I loved the taste of him so I didn't argue. I opened my mouth to him immediately and felt the bliss of his taste and touch while we kissed deeper. At first I didn't notice that one of his hands was traveling because I was so overwhelmed by his kiss. But when I realized Edward's hand was resting on my stomach I ran out of air again. He pulled away to let me gasp for breath while he moved on to my neck.

Oh Edward. He licked lightly down my neck and my whole body shuddered. The pleasure that wracked me was immediate. He smiled against my neck and moved to my collarbone to lick that lightly as well. My stomach grew heavy with anticipation and anxiety as his hand moved up and his kisses moved lower. I remembered something about right's and order, but quickly lost the thought when his hand reached my bra. I couldn't stop myself from arching, putting my breast into his hand, and posing for his mouth as well. He laughed before he licked my shirt from my nipple to my cleavage. I clamped my legs around him and moaned deeply.

I blushed knowing that he could make me react that way through clothes. Imagining Edwards tongue on my bare breast caused another moan and my hips moved reflexively. I rubbed against him and he moaned. I smiled when I realized that he was hard against me. It was the first time I noticed that part of him. He was hard for me. I smiled wider feeling accomplished. I looked down to see this hardness and caught Edward's eye. He pulled his head up to my ear on my left side giving me a direct view to how happy he was.

"Most nights you make me so hard I have to leave so I don't take your virtue like a thief in the night."

My breath gushed out. Did Edward? Did he? Oh even my thoughts are stuttering. Did Edward just say that to me? I watched his pants examining him. He seemed large but it was hard to tell through his slacks.

"My pants aren't just expensive they hide it well. Most times when you're on my lap I get excited so I need pants that keep it hidden. When we started dating I replaced my whole wardrobe."

I thought he was joking until I turned my head to look in his eyes. He was serious; I made him hard. I moaned, my eyes closed, my head rolled back. Oh God.

"You like that?"

Even his question sounded smug and arrogant, but I didn't mind. He was delicious and I had no problem with him knowing it.

"Oh yes, Edward."

I barely managed to respond and even to my ears I sounded out of breath. My voice even seemed to lower an octave. After hearing my response he licked my neck and brought his hand back to my breast. He had his thumb trace the path he licked earlier. I sucked in air and bit my lip. He leaned back into my neck kissing my ear before speaking again.

"I love the way you say my name. I won't stop until you loudly moan my name."

His voice was husky but still velvet, it seemed to touch me in places no hand could reach. I arched into him again. I blushed, my thoughts finally catching up to what he said. He moved to kiss me and I saw his eyes. They were dark again, not in color but something about them said he knew all my darkest thoughts; like he knew what I wanted. But what made me push myself into him was that his eyes didn't just say they knew, they said they'd give it all to me. His lips pushed into mine hard and passionate; I moaned as I rocked my hips against his. He hissed in pleasure.

"Bella there are so many things I want to do to you, so many places to kiss you, places to touch you. You are so exquisite; I'll never finish exploring you. Every time I try to kiss you elsewhere your luscious lips call me back. You are surely a siren."

He pushed his hips into mine causing that delicious friction again.

"Have you ever had an orgasm, Isabella?"

"Nnnoo"

My response was a stutter. I didn't understand did he just ask that? Oh that's not the first time I asked that question is it? He rocked against me while he kissed back down my neck, faster this time.

"Good, because I can make you cum. You're mine."

He seemed to growl as he claimed me and I realized that I liked the idea of Edward possessing me. Really he could have whatever he wan

My thoughts stopped, he brought his mouth down onto my left breast over my shirt. He sucked gently, using my shirt as an extra barrier for his teeth. He rubbed his erection into me and I moaned loudly, sounding like it came from somewhere deep in my stomach. I felt tight, coiled up, like my 

whole body was under pressure. The pleasure was too much, it was almost torture, and I couldn't take much more of this. But before I could cry uncle he moved his hand to cup me there.

I growled internally at myself. His hand is there and I can't even say it.

"Do you like it when I touch your pussy?"

"Oh.God.Edward."

I lost my air again. I was panting for air trying to answer but all I could think was Oh.God.Edward. I guess I had a new mantra. He rubbed his whole hand against me slowly, torturously. Then he pushed against the top. I knew briefly of what was there, I took the class, had the talk. But no one ever told me that touching any of that could make me feel like this. I was panting his name, my lover's mantra.

I was coiled tightly, ready to jump away, but then he leaned down low and licked me through my pajama pants. I was dripping wet; it was spreading to my thighs. He took a deep breath and moaned into me. The vibration of his moan against me caused me to shudder and close my eyes. He laughed and I shuddered again. He took his mouth and placed it on my nub, my clit and sucked. I couldn't stop myself from pushing into his mouth. He used his other hand to rub high on my thighs while he sucked on me. I was panting so hard my chest was heaving and Edward took notice.

Edward pulled the hand that was attacking my thigh away to rip my bra from my body, pushing my shirt up to expose me to him. He licked at my clit and lightly pinched between two fingers before he starting sucking again. When his hand came in contact with my naked breast I lost it. I had been barreling toward some unknown force. I went from feeling heavy to lost in flight. Stars erupted in front of my closed eyes as my back arched further and my head rolled back. I loudly moaned his name unaware of whether he heard. There was still the feeling of ecstasy coming from my pussy but I was hazy I didn't know what was happening.

When I came back to myself I saw that Edward had still been sucking. The pressure was too much now and my legs forced themselves closer together. He looked up at me with the same dark eyes and took in my appearance. He gave me a good long look before a predatory smile filled his gorgeous face.

"Good girl. You're mine, and I may not be able to finish my claim until you are my wife, but I want your body to know it's mine. I want everyone to know you're mine."

My chest was still heaving while I slowly regained control of my breathing. I had so many questions, but I feared if I asked he'd tell me he couldn't do it again, or do more. So I bit my lip to control myself from asking why? I didn't realize that question had slipped out until he responded.

"Why you are mine? I hope that's not the question. I'm going to assume you want to know why I just gave you your first orgasm. Or why I waited till now and not before? Or even why I'm so passionate?"

His smile was still smug as he knew he had me. I nodded unable to form sentences yet besides Oh.God.Edward.

"You're going to be my wife. Bella, you have no idea how long I have wanted you. Only you could beg me to give you something I have wanted more than anything. Only you could plead for me to make you happy by endangering you. I've been mostly successful as your protector but I failed you when the choice became your safety or your happiness. So now you know my answer. I will do anything to make you happy my dearest, loveliest Bella. Ask for anything and it is yours. I can't wait to be inside you, but I will, because waiting will make you happy."

I took in a deep breath and steadied my heart.

"Thank you." Was my breathy answer.

"Never thank me love, for doing anything like that with you, you cannot imagine what you do to me, for me. I am at your disposal."

I smiled glad for these changes. I was glad that he didn't push it further because I doubted my ability to say no to sex with him. I did all right the last time, but we went further this time. Now that we knew we had a barrier it made it easier somehow. But he was right I couldn't wait until he would be inside me. I yawned loudly and tried to stifle it. He laughed at my attempt and pulled me into his arms.

"Sleep my love and dream of me."

Oh Edward.


	4. Corner

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I awoke to Edward's lips making a trail of kisses from my lips down my jaw and stopping just behind my ear. I groaned, wanting to remain in bed. I was in the middle of a good dream and I frowned puzzled trying to recall why it was so good. Edward's exhalation blew across my face; I took a deep breath to take him all in.

"mmm morning."

"Good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?"

I fought the fog of my remaining sleepiness and thought of his question. It sounded as if he was asking me more than just how my sleep went. I frowned again confused on what else he could mean. I shifted my body, turning to get closer to my Adonis, when I moved I felt the evidence of my dreams. With sudden clarity I recalled the night of ecstasy both before I fell asleep and in my dreams. I blushed crimson but I'm sure that effect was ruined by the smile that I couldn't wipe off of my face.

"Ah, I see you recall your dreams. I must say they sounded pleasant. I did request that you dream of me but I assure you my intent was not to violate your innocent dreams."

His words sounded as smooth as ever and yet I could hear the innuendo hidden under the velvet. I smiled as I looked up at him happy to allow him to be the star of such dreams, if he only knew… He smiled crookedly towards me as he brought my face to his lips. This was surely heaven I thought before I tasted bliss once more.

I sighed when he released my lips. I wanted to stay in bed but if this was what I would get for being awake then sign me up for two. I reached up to kiss him once more before taking off for my human minutes. I smiled again thinking of how my human minutes were winding down.

"I need a human minute." I whispered against his lips.

"Take as many as you need my love. Alice will be here in 34 minutes to question you about the wedding. If she gives you any trouble, call me with your new phone."

Edward had given me a cell phone almost as soon as I said I'd marry him. He wanted me to be able to reach him whenever I needed to, regardless of where either of us were. I was angry that he would spend so much money on me. I didn't need a Blackberry, but when I realized that I could use the evil device to escape Alice, I warmed to the idea. Edward, of course, blames this on my being his fiancé and thus allowing him to give me more gifts. I shook my head silently arguing with that whole train of thought. I didn't need any gifts from Edward except what he would already give me.

Edward watched me closely as I changed facial features, rapidly slipping from my constant smile to a frown. I couldn't seem to hold anything other than a smile for long and I'm sure that is the reason why he didn't question me on what I was thinking. I groaned as I realized that the Pixie would start her full attack today. So much for time off for good behavior, I should just be thankful for last night.

My smile grew bigger as I thought of last night but fell slightly when I had my first epiphany of the day. Edward didn't get any pleasure. How could I fall asleep so selfishly after Edward did so much for me? What about his needs? I was determined to pay him back. I would not be a poor lover to him. When the time came I planned to show him how attentive of a lover I could be. I smiled wider thinking of being able to kiss him whenever I wanted, to surprise him with my embrace, or to really control things for once. I was almost lost to a sea of future dreams but Edward's voice brought me back to the present.

"Love, what are you thinking that has you fighting for that beautiful smile on your face? Is something wrong? Alice will be on her best behavior I promise."

I always thought of myself as rather intelligent, perhaps not as witty as others, but still fairly smart. Yet, whenever I am near Edward I seem to need three times the processing time to input anything he says. Some days I am faster than others but the haze of lust still in my thoughts seemed to slow me down this morning.

"I'm so selfish.

I clapped my hand over my mouth. Word vomit is not attractive nor is it helpful. I blushed realizing that he wouldn't let this go and I'd be forced to tell him about what I had been thinking. He looked at me almost shocked that I had said that. He took a second to take in my facial features before he kissed the furrow in my brow and moved my hands from my face.

"I cannot imagine what you are thinking but you are anything but selfish. Bella, you are the most selfless creature I have ever met. Whatever it is you are thinking you are not selfish. And please stop trying to hide your beauty from me."

"Edward."

His name was a soft breath from my lips unintended.

"I'm sorry that I just went to sleep like that. I didn't try to make things easier for you or see what you needed or wanted. I'm so sorry, are you okay? Do you need me to do anything for you?"

I didn't expect his response. My effort to leave the bed was ruined, as I was now underneath Edward, back where I started. He kissed me as deeply as he could without entering my mouth. I thought that was a good metaphor for our physical relationship. We tried to get as close as we could without actually entering each other, without breaking barriers. But the closer we grew the harder it seemed to remain chaste. It became unbearable to be near him and not kiss him or touch him.

"I love you," escaped my lips as a soft whisper.

I needed him to know how very much he meant to me. It was more than just his beauty or the human hormones running through me, but I needed to be his. Waiting till marriage seemed harder every day. I repeated my mantra again to refrain from pleading for him to just take me. Anything seemed better than this constant agony.

"You are not selfish my love, you were tired. May I repeat myself and say again that I take great pleasure in everything I do with you. I need nothing more than to know whatever it is you need so that I may give it to you."

He ended each sentence with a kiss to my lips lingering longer after he finished. I sighed into his mouth wishing I could stop the blush that had taken over my face.

"You need to get ready my love, we can discuss this later. I love you and I shall miss you dearly until I can kiss you again."

His lips seared mine once more as he proclaimed his love for me and my heart sped further. I hated to be away from him but I actually wanted to talk to Alice. I had so many questions, if I could only find the courage to ask and I really did appreciate her. Alice had always supported us and helped us whenever we needed it. The fact that she could see the future saved both our lives more than once. I needed to spend time with her and I wanted to do something nice for her before I turned.

"I'll let you leave but only on one condition."

"Whatever you wish, Bella."

"I want you to do some of the planning with us. I want to know what you think of all of it. Maybe at night we can show you what we've done so you can approve it?"

"I would love to, Bella."

"Then can I also ask that you meet us tonight?"

"I will be there as soon as you say to be."

"Okay, I'm going to go shower. I love you and I will miss you." I kissed him before turning to get up. Edward allowed me to move before he kissed my neck whispering his love to me. I grabbed my toiletries and scrounged some clothes knowing Alice would just make me change. I turned on the shower and turned back to the sink to brush my hair.

Most times before I shower I look at myself and wonder what Edward sees in me, but today I had no such time for self-loathing. Alice would be here soon and I knew she'd drag me out of the shower with the shampoo still dripping down my eyes if I didn't hurry. She once threatened to enter the shower and clean me herself. Alice saved me by helping me shower when I broke my leg but she mostly helped me stay standing. I didn't need her help anymore for that and definitely didn't want it.

I managed to shower quickly and even exited the shower without decapitating myself. I stubbed my toe on the cabinets, but my head was still connected so I dismissed it. Dressed, for what it would be worth, I brushed my hair and stumbled to my room. I scrounged around for my favorite shiny blue flats. With my comfy outfit completed I went downstairs to face my judgment.

Charlie was in front of the TV with a bowl of popcorn resting haphazardly on his stomach while he reclined. I was surprised to find that Alice wasn't here yet. I had enough time to finish that thought before an overly excited knock rang from the door. I laughed knowing that Alice was on the other side. I opened the door unable to keep from grinning at her.

Alice didn't even need to look at me. She handed me the bundle of clothes she was carrying and pointed me in the direction of my bathroom. I sighed and turned to do as ordered. I changed quickly, happy that the blue shirt matched my sparkly flats and returned to her. She was waiting for me just in the kitchen. She nodded her approval and I yelled out to Charlie.

"Dad, Alice is here I'm going to go do wedding stuff, see you later."

"Okay Bella and hello Alice."

If I were going with anyone else I'd grab my purse and whatever other items I might need all day but not with Alice. If Alice didn't already have whatever I would want I'd be shocked. Plus she'd just threaten to destroy my debit card anyway if I offered to pay for my stuff. I sighed again thinking of the shopping that a wedding must need. If Memorial Day was an event that required multiple days of shopping, well my wedding could only be… Oh God Bella, don't even think about it.

"Well hello to you too. I give you the night off and the morning in and not even so much as a thanks for my kindness from you?"

"Good morning Alice. What do you mean the morning off?"

"Bella, you're almost an hour late, but that's okay because I saw this coming. Being the amazing almost sister that I am, I decided that you needed Starbucks. There's cappuccino and a bagel on your seat, you'll need your energy today."

"But Alice isn't the only Starbucks in the area in Port Angeles?"

"Yes, in the time that you were procrastinating I grabbed your breakfast and already started on our errands."

I could argue but I should save my battle for something bigger. She already went to Port Angeles and it did give me more time with Edward, oh well. Alice 1 Bella 0. If I were to be fair her score would be much higher, but in cases like this I liked to clean the slate every so often, or daily. I slid into my seat glad that I came to no harm, not even concerned about how graceful Alice could make sitting look. Breakfast was delicious and I was thankful that Alice thought of it because I forgot all about that human need. I could just eat Edward for breakfast. A giggle escaped me as I thought of me trying to eat a vampire for breakfast. The giggle grew.

"What is so funny Bella?"

"Oh um, nothing really. I just had a really strange thought of eating Edward for breakfast."

Alice seemed even more amused by my random thought than I was. Her giggles subsided leaving an evil all knowing smirk on her face. I truly hated that look, it meant she knew something, wouldn't tell me, and most likely it would be against my rules. I crossed my arms against my chest petulantly, not at all happy that the morning was starting this way.

"Alice what is it?"

My voice should have sounded scolding or even warning would have worked. No I sounded like a toddler whining. This seemed to add to Alice's amusement and only caused me to huff in annoyance. I had to remind myself that there were bigger battles to be fought today. I couldn't set myself up for failure by over analyzing the little ones and missing the big issues. Alice had a way of distracting me from something I would hate by getting me to argue some point of it. I would not give in today.

With my resolve set and my arms now in place beside me I turned to Alice hopping to gain enough courage by moving in her direction to ask her what I wanted to know. I knew that Alice knew that I wanted to talk to her, she also probably knew what I would ask, even worse is that she'd probably already seen the full conversation. This did not stop her from pretending that she did not know what I wanted. She waited patiently for me to form the words, if not the courage, to speak.

I bit my lip and my shoulders slumped, I turned back into my seat, facing forward. Oh well, I could always ask her tomorrow. Alice turned towards me with a frown on her face. Apparently she didn't see me not asking her. I shrugged at her unable to really say anything.

"Bella, you can ask me anything. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable I was just trying to give you time to decide what to ask. Really, I want to help."

"Thank you Alice, you know you're like a sister to me already. I guess I'm just not ready to ask yet but when I am I'll let you know. But can you tell me if my mom will accept things?"

"Bella she hasn't decided yet. But I promise that every scenario has her showing up at the wedding to support you."

"Hmm thanks."

My thoughts wandered back to my mother. My parents never mollycoddled me or made a big production out of anything I was in or doing. But a part of me, the part that was "that girl" wanted that now. I wanted to have people in my corner cheering me on and excited for me. Edward had his corner full and his family was so supportive. It helped that we had them behind us but I felt that in some way my family was letting me down. I immediately felt guilty again, in my parent's minds I am letting them down.

"I already made the guest list; it just needs your approval. I made Edward look at it last night so that I could mail off the invitations today while we're out if you approve. Look at the invitations they're so beautiful. The list is the parchment tied to the stack."

I reached behind my seat to look at them. These innocent little papers would tell everyone that I was vowing forever. I tried to think of someone that would come to my corner instead of being in the upset audience. I could only hope that of my friends, Angela would be happy. Well, one was better than nothing. My feelings were so conflicting, I didn't want to have to get married, but I wanted people to understand how important this was to me. If there was any other way for them to know how much Edward means to me I would do it. I would gladly show them all.

I wasn't afraid of the commitment or the vows, I wouldn't say forever unless I meant it. I knew firsthand about divorce and I refused to ever marry if it could lead to that. But I always refused to marry young. I had secret plans of living in the glory of singledom well into my thirties. I'd be glamorous and independent and would have all the freedom in the world. Maybe, if the time was right or I found the right guy I'd marry.

The right guy what am I thinking? No one could be more perfect than Edward. He took forever even more seriously than I did, as he has some inclination to how long that would be. But whether I am 19 or 30 I would never find someone that could make me happier. Would I be happier to be married if I had realized how many frogs there are, or is it simply that I fantasized being single like most women fantasize about being married?

I would never be the girl that simpered over weddings but I could be the one that was ecstatic over my own. This meant so many things to our friends and family but more so to us. Everyone would know unequivocally that he was my choice, my life, my future. I wanted everyone to know that. Even calling Edward husband could not encompass what he means to me but others would understand more.

It wasn't important what others thought anyway. I wanted this as a form of goodbye so they would understand better. But I was allowing the audience too much say in how I felt. This was the right choice and what was right for me. I needed to stop allowing my fears and fantasies to take away from what is right. From now on I would keep the big picture in mind, I would never care about the cake or table settings, but I would show Edward how much he means to me.

Alice smiled wildly to me when I finally came out of my thoughts, I should have realized she'd immediately know about my change in heart.

"I figured we'd start easy today. I have a few stops at the mall to make, but don't worry we won't be there too long. There is a boutique I want to take you to in Seattle. I found this great designer she's all the rage in dresses because she modernizes classical styles. I found the perfect styles for you and wanted you to try a few out. "

"Can we do something 1920s? I was thinking that Edwardian would be too constricting for my clumsiness and Edward would've married in the 20s anyway."

Alice started jumping with enthusiasm. I wasn't sure if it was my contribution or the fact that I had thought about it and contributed.

"Then I know the perfect dress but I want to make sure you'll love it as much as I do. Oh and I know the veil and the shoes. Oh Bella you'll look perfect. You'll be innocent and tempting just as you always are."

"What?"

"Edward has always been drawn to your innocence but you have no idea how much you effect him. Edward has fantasies all the time but since you accepted his proposal it's almost all I see from him. I wouldn't put you in something that isn't you and I've never seen a woman who could be so innocent and alluring at the same time. You'll look wonderful and drive Edward crazy."

I blushed from her compliments as I tried vaguely to understand what she meant. Edward had told me I tended to be oblivious to how often I excited him but I didn't realize everyone else knew.

"But alluring, Alice?"

"Bella, you are so pure that sometimes when you do something you don't realize that it's sexual. From what I can tell, you'd be an amazing lover. You're responsive and so giving. But above everything you're so willing to be Edward's lover, which is why he seems to have lost his control. You have overwhelmed him Bella. It's almost a taunt that you are so untainted and so willing for him to taint you. You're literally driving him crazy and it's such a sweet thing that you have no idea."

I really hate my cheeks. My deep blush sent Alice into a fit of giggles. It made me feel better that Alice thought I'd be a good lover to Edward but I felt bad that I had been making things harder on him. I couldn't for the life of me think of what I had been doing to instigate it but I'm sure if I asked Edward he'd explain.

"We're here." Called Alice as her laughter died.

A while later I was sitting in a huge shoe store completely surrounded in shoes of all persuasions. I knew what I wanted and was getting frustrated with Alice for not showing me anything like it. In boredom I started stacking up the boxes surrounding me to make it easier on the poor employees. I heard an excited squeal from the clearance section of the store. I laughed trying to figure out when Alice had ever gone near clearance.

"I found them!"

She was jumping up and down in front of me now, not allowing me to see these shoes. I gave her a look and she stopped jumping, handing the shoes off to me. I opened the box and gasped, they were perfect. They were white shoes that looked like ballerina flats but had a small one inch heel. They were fabric and had intricate embroidery in the perfect blue. They were delicate and very flapper and I loved them. I tried them on excitedly almost matching Alice in enthusiasm.

"They fit, they fit, they fit!" Now I was jumping excitedly.

Alice jumped with me joining our hands as we laughed together. I'm positive she only held onto me to keep me from falling, but I appreciated it nonetheless. I stopped jumping and thrust my foot out ecstatic that at least something was coming together. Alice beamed proudly at me.

"I love this wedding I've never seen you excited over shoes."

"Alice, I knew what I wanted and this is really a special event. I needed shoes unlike anything else I have or have tried before. But shouldn't we have looked at dresses first?"

"No, I wanted you to try them on with the shoes since you were so decided on those. You only have a vague idea about the style of dress and I figured having the shoes would help you. That and I wasn't sure if these were here or not. "

I took the shoes off carefully, like they were spun glass and might break if I didn't proceed with caution. They felt like glass to me, they were the first real sign that this was all real. I was really getting married. My eyes started to tear up and I quickly covered the shoes with the lid and brought the box close to my chest.

"I'm getting married."

My voice sounded every bit as emotional and stunned as I felt. A tear escaped before I managed to get control over myself. Alice hugged me to her and gave me a moment to regain control over my emotions.

"Yes Bella, you're finally getting married. Do you have any idea how long we have waited for you, for this? I've seen this wedding for years and have watched it fall apart. But this time it's real and nothing is going to stop it and I'm so thankful that you said yes. I'm so glad that we'll really be sisters."

She hugged me again and this time I couldn't stop the tears. I loved Alice so very much. I never wanted siblings growing up but I was glad I now had Alice. My stomach protested our moment by grumbling loudly and I blushed as I pulled away. I looked at my watch and realized we had spent hours in the mall looking for these shoes. We quickly hurried to the checkout.

"That will be 499.99."

My jaw dropped, they were on clearance. What was a shoe like that doing in a Port Angeles mall at that price? The cashier looked annoyed that she had to check us out and smirked at my dumbfounded expression.

"They're designer, we had a special display for the winter and they didn't sell. They're impossible to find now."

This seemed to please Alice greatly as she handed over her card and signed. I grabbed my shoes and hurried to the exit. It wasn't the shoes fault that they were overpriced, I would love them anyway. I even tried to imagine another place where I could wear them because they were so perfect. Alice laughed at my enthusiasm and promised that I could wear them again after the wedding. Her smirk said that I didn't really want to know what I'd be wearing with my precious shoes.

"Let's get you fed."

Alice directed me to the food court and I stood undecided looking at all my options. I finally decided on Chinese, fried rice was my one true weakness. We had come to a hard won deal on these shopping excursions. Alice could pay for the stuff that she forced on me, albeit I let her pay grudgingly; but I always got to pay for my lunch. I hadn't grabbed my purse or anything not expecting another shopping trip, it was my own fault really. But I never expected to see so much happiness from Alice for asking if she could pay. She smiled at me like I had just given her diamonds and hopped over to the Chinese place.

I waited at our table and idly looked around the room.

"Bella?"

Oh god I knew that voice. I turned slowly and saw that my suspicion was confirmed.

"Hi, Mike."

"What are you doing here, are you by yourself? You can sit at my table, the whole gang is here."

He pointed off to his table and to my consternation I noticed gang included Jessica and Lauren. I jumped from my chair; I wobbled unsteadily on my feet for a moment, and walked over to the gang.

"Angela!"

I called out her name with enthusiasm. I would miss her when the time came. She was the only sincere person here, but I wanted to ask her something, and I knew it would have to be in person. I wouldn't ask her that here, in front of them, but I would ask her to meet up with me again later. She stood from the table excited to see me too and we hugged.

"How are you Ang?"

"I'm great, thanks. How are you?"

"I'm wonderful thanks."

I heard a forced cough coming from the table and I turned to them giving a brief hello before turning back to Angela. I didn't notice when Mike came up behind me a little too closely for my comfort.

"What have you been doing Bella, I haven't seen you around?" Mike whined.

"Well, you know, I've mostly been with the Cullen's really."

"Is that a RING on your finger?"

Oh God, Lauren. I turned to her, annoyed at her interruption, and the way she made it sound like no one would ever ask me that question. I nodded once I faced her, unhappy about having this conversation now.

"That can't be real, it looks fake."

I glared at her, how dare she insult this ring. The furry I felt was written clearly on my face because Mike took an unwilling step back from me. My face started to flush in anger.

"No, this ring is not only real it's an antique passed down in Edward's biological family. He inherited quite the fortune from them and has saved all of his mother's jewelry. I didn't want a ring, but when I saw this one I couldn't help it. It's beautiful and his mother wore it."

"Plus it looks exquisite on you."

I turned quickly, the smile growing on my face as I took in his velvet voice. God I love him. By the time I turned to look at his face I was in his arms. He kissed me sweetly before looking past me at Lauren.

"Only the best for my lovely Bella."

I took in the table as they regarded Edward's interruption. They all looked surprised to see him or maybe to hear him, he tended to ignore the lot of them. But Mike's reaction made me hide my face in Edward's chest so they wouldn't see my laughter. Edward pulled me closer into him amused that I was laughing at Mike's anger.

"You're getting married?"

Mike was not trying to hide his anger at what he felt was an injustice. He took the focus off of my love though because now they were looking at him. Jessica's face fell and Lauren just looked evil. Edward just stared at Mike until he took another unwilling step back. I realized after a minute they were having some male dominance test. I hid my face again trying not to burst into giggles as I thought of Mike Newton trying to be more dominate than Edward. My body was shaking against Edward with my effort to hold my giggles in. He continued to stare Newton down but he pulled his face towards my ears to whisper to me.

"Unless you want me to ravish you in public, you should really stop rubbing against me like that."

The giggles left with all my air. I tried to figure out what I had been doing. With all my effort to hold in my laughter I hadn't realized just how I was touching him. The imaginary light bulb above my head turned on as I realized that's what Alice meant. I looked up to Edward and got lost in his eyes.

"Breathe Bella."

I took in a gush of air relishing in his scent. I realized that Newton had backed down and was now sulking with his head down on the table. But the rest of the group had watched me get lost in Edward and I blushed as I caught on to this. Lauren and Jessica were fuming but Angela smiled fondly at me. I noticed the guys were all annoyed over something but I ignored them not interested in what their problem was. Edward started kissing my neck from my ear down which forced my attention back to him.

I grabbed him around his waist to help keep me standing and let him have his wicked way with my neck. I forced myself to bite back the moan that was growing and he smiled against my neck. By the time he made it to my lips I had no idea that other people existed, it was just Edward, just his lips. His kiss was needy and longing and I parted my mouth for him to take it, if that's what he wanted. Edward wasted no time and kissed me deeply. I hardly moved as I let him kiss me, knowing that this took more control for him. I sucked on his tongue and he moaned into my mouth.

"Okay virgins stop making out and come hang out with the family."

I pulled back from Edward shocked that Emmett was calling us.

"Virgins?"

Lauren choked on the word obviously incredulous about our chastity. Edward smiled against my lips as he pulled me closer to him.

"Not for much longer."

I was shocked at Edwards's reply, he was the consummate gentlemen and he hardly spoke to these people, to tell them that. I stared at him dumbfounded and he kissed me again.

"Seriously Edward you have a few weeks, let the poor girl go."

"Damn it Emmett, go away." My voice was muffled from Edward's neck. It was the highest I could reach on my own and he was looking over my head to his family. My response made Emmett and Edward laugh. He kissed my forehead before turning me to face his family. Before I lost my chance I turned back to Angela.

"I didn't mean to do this here but I hardly see you. Will you be a bridesmaid for me, Angela?"

I noticed that Jessica and Lauren sat up straighter as I started but when I said Angela's name they both stared at me like I had sprouted another head. Angela looked clearly shocked not expecting that I would ask her.

"I would love to."

I jumped away from Edward and ran to Angela hugging her as I jumped.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Alice came running up and joined us singing "me too, me too, me too."

We all laughed together and pulled away. I noticed we had the attention of most of the food court not just the table. I blushed but turned back to Angela smiling. I watched as Alice prattled on about Angela's duties; glad that I had at least one person in my corner.


	5. Breathe

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

Angela had promised to meet us in a few days to go over details. We had a great lunch with the family. Really I had a great lunch while they all watched. Emmett was bored at home so he decided to tag along with Edward. Alice had seen that I would run into the _gang _and called in reinforcements. She said that the first scenario left me crying in the girl's room for an hour, unwilling to come back out in public. Apparently Edward's admissions made Lauren and Jessica so angry they left the mall immediately, I was grateful.

I was unwilling to part with Edward again, so I ate rather slowly. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. My cheeks were stained red all through lunch because Emmett wouldn't stop making fun of me, but I didn't care. I couldn't stop myself from admiring Edward, and when he looked at me like that, I was lost to whatever he wanted. Finally Alice threatened to force feed me if I didn't finish quickly. We had an appointment to be at the dress boutique in under an hour and it was in Seattle.

"I really hate having to part with you so often." I kissed his lips briefly as I complained.

"As do I, my love, but soon we'll never have to part again."

The joy both in his voice and on his face was remarkable. I was heartened that soon I wouldn't have to leave him even when he had to hunt. I would enjoy never having to leave his side even for the necessities like food. Alice, fed up with my delays, pulled me from Edward's arms and marched me to her Porsche.

The drive to Seattle was quiet. I kept fantasizing what I could do with Edward in all those minutes I'd be gaining by not sleeping or eating. Alice also seemed to be lost in thought; I could see that she was mentally updating her checklist and adding to it as needed. I left her to her devices and went back to my fantasies.

"Do vampire men ejaculate like humans?"

Damn it! Word vomit. I hung my head. All that trouble to gain courage and I sprout out questions the second I'm not thinking. My face was dark and my heart started speeding with anxiety. I prayed that she would keep this conversation between us because I would die of embarrassment if anyone else knew I asked that question. I heard the ringing sound of Alice's giggles. Great she would tell everyone.

"It's hard to explain but it's not in the traditional sense. Venom replaces all the bodily fluids but semen is made from an organ. So when a male vampire ejaculates it's very small because it's the only part of human ejaculate that is water. But you won't have to worry about not being wet, our process is similar but we don't lose anything from the loss of blood flow or organs. So he'll make you just as wet as a vamp."

She tried to remain professional but her occasional giggle broke the effort. I slumped into my seat angry that she was making fun of me. I was right not to ask her. If she was responding that way already, I'd keep my questions to myself. I didn't need to be made fun of. Alice immediately gained control of herself and started a stream of profuse apologies.

"I'm sorry Bella I couldn't help it I knew you'd ask but not like that or then. I didn't mean to make you upset you can ask me anything really, I promise."

I continued to glare at the window in front of me. I would simply hold my questions; that is to the best of my ability. We got to Seattle in an hour. I had been distracted enough not to focus on how fast we were driving. We drove for an additional five minutes before Alice pulled easily into a tight parking spot right in front of a shopping complex. All the buildings were separated and looked older than the modern sky scrapers towering around them. I liked the look of the boutique we were going to.

"She has a lot of dresses at this store so I thought you'd rather come here than have me fly you to New York. Fortunately, the styles of dresses you're interested in are already here or you'd have no choice."

Alice was blissful in her exclamations. She was finally taking me dress shopping when I wanted her too. The fact that I would participate had her skipping occasionally. I simply shook my head at her; she was just too much sometimes. The lady waiting for us didn't comment on how late we were. She asked which of us was the bride and went straight to work. Alice had a private viewing room for me. There was a rack of dresses of various styles from Edwardian to 1940s southern belle gowns. I liked the styles of the dresses and decided to look through the racks.

Each dress was one of a kind so it wasn't like a normal wedding store where the dress was mass produced. I was sure Alice would shoot me for wearing a mass production to my wedding. I considered the tighter silhouettes with tapered backs hopping those would keep me from tripping. But the look wasn't right. The Edwardian covered so much of me I felt like I was wearing a whole closet. I refused to wear a short wedding gown and the 30's and 40's styles added even more layers. The 20s were definitely the era I wanted; the dresses were sleeker and they were all modest, only a touch of sensuality in the lines of the dress. I found a rack full of dresses that met my criteria and tried on three.

"This is it."

I took a minute to admire my reflection trying to imagine the veil that would complete the look. I couldn't stop staring at the dress. It really was the one. The bodice showed just a hint of my breast and hung close to my body all the way down. I liked the weight of the silk skirt and the sheer shoulders of the dress had the innocent sensuality I was going for. I walked out to Alice to show her, though she already knew. I expected her to laugh but she caught me off guard. It looked as if she were crying, although she could not shed tears.

"Yes, that's the one. You look so beautiful. If I could only show you how breathtaking you will look on your wedding day. Everyone will be amazed."

I smiled at her, glad that she loved the dress as much as I. I turned in circles admiring the way the skirt of the dress swayed. This would be perfect for Edward and that's what made me so happy. He would love it, therefore I loved it. After a few moments with my dress I turned back to the fitting room to take it off and put my clothes back on.

We bought the dress and arranged for certain alterations to be made before the wedding. Fortunately, we didn't need many: just a nip here and there. We needed to bring the hem of the dress up a few inches but otherwise it was perfect. Happy with my day of purchases I returned to the car.

Alice handed the invitations back to me. I had been so distracted by my thoughts I'd never really looked at them. They were classy and obviously expensive but they suited the mood of the wedding. I nodded my approval and looked briefly at the list. There were more people than I wanted but I assumed it would be that way. My heart sped as I realized the Denali clan would be invited. I decided I would just have to look even better on my wedding day. He's my Edward. Even in my head I sounded like a pouting child. I nodded again and put the box back behind my seat.

"Okay, for your good behavior I'm going to return you to Edward while I run around. You don't really need to be there when I post these. Just do me a favor. I want you and Edward to think of where you want the wedding and reception to be, when you have decided I'll know."

I nodded at her demand it was simple enough she could have asked for much more in exchange for time with Edward. I tried to think of it then but realized she was right I would need Edward. I wanted his ideas and I was vaguely thinking of my dress. I didn't know I would become so attached to a dress. It was silly really. I'm not like that normally but this seemed to be so much more than a dress. It was also the moment I'd be saying goodbye to my family and friends and I needed it to say all the right things. That I found it so quickly had me relieved. Now I could let Alice do her thing. I was excited to be back in the arms of my love.

The time seemed to pass more slowly than it had all day. Eventually, we were turning into their driveway and my heart sped before I even saw the house. I would see him soon. My whole body knew that I would be in his arms. When we pulled towards the house I wasn't surprised to find my door opened and myself moved. Edward pulled me towards him before Alice fully stopped. He placed gentle kisses all over my face. I stood in his arms using his body to hold me up; oblivious to anything but his lips on my skin.

"I missed you."

"mmmm"

He laughed at my reply and continued to spread his kisses, moving them to my neck once I tilted my head in bliss. My pleasure grew as his kisses moved lower along my neck. He kissed down to my collarbone and moved back the direction he had just come from. Alice laughed at us knowing how lost I was to Edward.

"Edward, step away from the virgin."

"Damn it Emmett stop calling us that, or especially me."

Emmett laughed heartily at me but his voice sounded so muffled from beyond Edward's kisses. I moaned, pushing my body further into Edward's embrace. I needed so desperately to be closer to him. I was his and he could have me. I heard faint voices in the background but Edward's breath blew across my face and I was forced to close my eyes and inhale deeply. He moved to my ear and whispered his love for me blowing his breath across my neck. I shuddered against him and my body crumbled into him. I was almost shaking from the restraint of keeping my pleasure inside me. Unbeknownst to me I had been moaning quietly. I was unaware until Edward's cool breath whispered against me again.

"I think that is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. It only gets better when it's my name from those lips."

He kissed my lips to remind me that I had them. I seemed to be missing limbs; the only things in existence where whatever Edward was touching or especially kissing. My head fell completely back. I was unable to keep holding it up and he took advantage of my weakness. He kissed under my jaw and down my neck straight down to the collar of my shirt. I was wearing a circular cut shirt and suddenly wished I had worn something sluttier.

Edward's hands, which had been resting on the small of my back pulling me into him and holding me up, slowly moved. He brought one forward to hold me to him by my hip. I shuddered as he touched me there gently. My arousal grew as he held my hip more firmly. His other hand moved from my lower back to my butt. He cupped my butt in his hands and then used it to form my body into his. I moaned deeply, succumbing to whatever way he wanted to put me. The vague voices from beyond his kisses grew louder but I dismissed them as Edward placed another kiss on the skin closest to my shirt.

Suddenly I was drowned in the feeling of calm. I slumped unable to hold myself at all, completely supported by Edward. My eyes closed unwillingly because of Jasper's gift. I grew annoyed but could not hold it against the onslaught of peace. Edward growled struggling in the same battle. His hands moved back to my waist to hold me to him as he turned to face Jasper.

"Look, I'm sorry but you were about to start undressing her in front of the family. I warned you it was coming you just decided to ignore me."

I blushed a deep crimson hiding my face in Edward's chest. We were getting close in front of the family, oh God.

"It would only be fair to all of you. You've made me endure much more than simple kisses or light petting. Never mind that I could hear all your thoughts not just see your actions; I have almost a century to repay you for. "

The shock around the room was tangible. I had not noticed the arrival of Esme or Rosalie, only Carlisle seemed absent, probably at the hospital. The entire family looked at Edward as if he grew another head. At least then I wouldn't look as ridiculous if I wasn't the only one with another head. I reminded myself to focus and looked up under my lashes to Edward.

"That was _light_ petting?"

My question sounded as incredulous and stunned as I felt. The implication was clear that if that was light petting I had no idea what heavy was. Edward seemed to follow the train of logic on my face and his smile grew crooked as I realized how clueless I was. I stared wide eyed at him wrapped in his arms. He looked so beautiful; he could mix parts beauty and danger so easily it was hard not to admire him.

"No, I think that was very light petting. I believe if things got heavy there would be no mistake in your mind that we had now crossed into more dangerous territory."

His words were light and tempting but it was obvious that he still thought he was putting me in danger by being so close to me.

"My love, I plan on things getting very heavy."

My body is a traitor. I will not be held responsible for my body's reactions when I did not tell my body what to do. I was still looking up at him wrapped in his arms and when he spoke my back arched into his hands pushing my chest into him. My head tilted back making it easier to look up at him and my eyelids seemed to fight to stay open. He reveled in my reaction to him and kissed just beside my ear.

I was panting for air anything to get the air to stay in my lungs. I was struggling so hard for air and the blood pounding in my ears seemed to prevail over all sound. Only Edward could break through my sound barrier. Edward moved my body ever so slightly and leaned into my ear.

"As pleasurable as that feels you're making it difficult for me to keep things light. Unless you'd rather things get…"

Edward couldn't finish his sentence because Alice started yelling at him. I had no idea what was being said because when he leaned into me I felt his arousal on my stomach. I was shocked that he would allow me to feel it and even more so that it was so incredibly big. I fought my entire body not to look down. This was not the time, but obviously I had not seen him clearly the day before. I wondered how he would ever fit inside me. I blushed deeply and held myself rigid against him in an attempt to behave. Just one look I argued with myself, but the idea of being able to just reach out and touch 

him, made looking irrelevant. I could just reach down and feel him, and that would give me the same idea, of how large he really was.

Edward pulled me tight to him, so tight I felt his erection throb against my stomach as I came in contact with it. My hands were shaking with my silent battle for control. I was in his arms and moving before I could recognize that he had come to the decision to move me. He set me down steadying me before pushing me back against the door of his room. I looked briefly around my surroundings to get an idea of where we were before giving him my complete attention.

His eyes were dark smoldering gold, tempting me to do things to him, anything he wanted. I smiled at him glad to see his eyes like that for me. Now that we were in his room I could just reach down. I came to a quick decision and he tensed before my hand reached out to him on my stomach. He seemed to deflate into me, his head resting on my neck as his breath fanned against me. I idly ran my fingers down the protrusion in his pants, I began to wonder if it ever ended but I found a treasure. Just below his erection was a spot that when I touched, he moaned. I loved the sound of his moans and he moaned so rarely that I had to find other ways to make him.

"Oh Bella."

Hearing my name that way on his lips pushed me forward. I lazily traced his erection back up to the top and wrapped my fingers around him as much as I could. His pants were in the way but I liked the barrier between us. I still feared if we could control ourselves and the clothes were a reminder not to go too far. Plus I didn't know how hard this would be for him. I knew he knew it was coming when he tensed; Alice must have told him silently about my struggle. I figured he wouldn't have moved me to his room if he didn't want it. Plus he's a vampire; if he wanted me to stop he could make me.

Holding him was awkward but worth it. I rubbed him going downwards and back up to a slow beat, much slower than the pulse of my heart or the blood pumping in my ears. Edward's cool breath on my neck aroused me further. He moaned and thrust his hips into my hand. Even when he lost control he was controlled. I could tell the effort it took him to restrain himself. His whole body was rigid with the effort but he still seemed to be lost in pleasure. I vowed that when I turned I would make him lose control; I would control things for once.

He started kissing me gently against my neck to the beat that I pumped against him. I'd pull up, he'd kiss, and down, he'd kiss. He started kissing me faster. His kisses trailed down my shirt and he ignored the collar that kept my skin from him. He continued his kisses downward pressing into my shirt and leaving burning marks against my skin. He unclenched his closed fists and used one to grab me by my butt pushing me into his erection. We both moaned. I continued to rub and pump against him while his other hand lightly brushed across my shirt. His touch was feather light, barely perceptible, but it still caused my nipples to harden. He was so gentle it was painful. I wanted him to grab me and take me, anything but the soft way he moved over me.

I was in the air and then on the soft bed. Edward hovered over me his jaw tense and his erection throbbed in my still hand. I reached up and kissed his neck while my hand started to move again. I would make him orgasm. I could tell how hard it was for him to hover over me and not lay against me, so I pushed him back silently requesting that he lay on his back. He gave in quickly, allowing me to straddle him.

I liked the view from above him. I could feel how wet I was, I had ignored it before now choosing to focus entirely on him. He grabbed me by my hips and moved my pelvis to rub the length of him. The friction was delicious and my head fell back. Edward sat up and used the headboard to lean against. He moved me again, but this time took my breast in his mouth again through my shirt. I ached for him to take the bare skin but I understood the need for clothes. I needed something more, this wasn't enough, and I was getting frustrated.

My heart was pounding the blood pumping through me. Everything throbbed and ached and I felt that I would explode if I couldn't find what I needed. I needed him so desperately that I was near tears. The desperation and frustration were pushing me to my limit and I didn't know what I needed to make it better.

"Please, Edward."

He gasped against my breast causing me to shiver. My breasts felt like they were very heavy and ready to burst. I needed something, I was so very heavy. My stomach was tense, my whole body tense against him, waiting for anything to make it better.

"What do you want, Bella."

His words were just as breathy as mine, any other time I'd feel vindicated but I could barely process that now. I'd store that thought for later when I could think.

"Oh please."

I couldn't explain what I needed, I didn't know, but I needed something. He pulled me against him again and leaned in to whisper to me.

"Do you like feeling how hard you make me?"

If I had any breath before I'm sure I wouldn't now but I couldn't agree or disagree, I could do nothing. He was right. I loved to feel him, to know that I did that to him. I wanted more of it but I couldn't have it yet. It seemed wholly unfair that Edward would allow me this now that I couldn't have it. My chest heaved and a line of sweat was on my forehead. Edward remained perfect as ever, his hair a little more tousled but just as sexy.

He used more force to hold me and my moan was deep and seemed to thud against my chest. It was almost painful and it felt good. I should be worried that he's losing control, that he could hurt me. But I couldn't fear him and if he needed to hurt me, he could. He could take whatever he wanted from me; anything to please him. He loosened his hands but my heavy moan alerted him to how deeply I liked the pressure. He stared at me for a long moment while I regained my breath.

"You like it rough?"

I moaned, there was no question there, it was all innuendo. He was saying that he would give me what I wanted. I knew somewhere in my mind that he'd never really be rough and that's what made it delicious. There was always the danger of losing control, but he never would, yet he could let me think it. He could lose a little bit of control just to show me what it would be like when I could strip him of his hard earned control with me.

He pressed hard against my hips again and pulled me roughly against him. He didn't pause in between or allow me time to adjust to him he simply pulled me again. His pace grew faster and I cried out against the pleasure. He was so perfect, parts danger and seduction all mixed together. He was everything I could ever want or need and I was lost in him. I didn't realize I was making a sound until he whispered again.

"You cannot know what it does to me to hear you beg like that."

I tried to shut my mouth; I had been unknowingly repeating "please" as another mantra to him. I couldn't stop my mouth from making sounds. When I closed my lips tight it made the moans that escaped deeper and longer. I wanted to keep quiet, the whole family was home, but I couldn't seem to care, or stop myself for that matter. My head dropped forward with the effort of trying to find release. If I thought that I was loud before it was nothing to the sound that came out of me when he grabbed my hair pulling my face to his. I rocked against him reflexively. I was no longer Bella; I had no sense of anything other than the need to be closer to him.

He growled low in his chest because of my response to him and his hand on my hip wrapped around to grab at my ass, pulling me into him and against him. He returned to my breast taking it in his mouth again and I shook with pleasure. I was so close so very close.

"I'm so close." Escaped past my lips.

"Then I shall make you cum for me again. This time you will scream my name in pleasure while you imagine me inside you. Can you do that for me Bella?"

I was shaking, panting, sweating but whatever he wanted was his. I nodded enthusiastically mumbling words like "anything" against his skin as I kissed him. I was on my back before I knew that I was turning. I lay under him, staring up at him wondering what he'd do now. He took my hand and placed it back on his erection.

"I want you to keep your body still, you can play with my cock but I'm going to do something new. Can you be a good girl?"

I shuddered, my eyes rolling back into my head.

"Anything."

My voice was louder than I intended but I couldn't be bothered by that right now. He leaned over me facing towards my womanhood placing kisses from my breasts down. He lingered over the bottom of my shirt for a minute before he continued on to my shorts. I was wearing simple jean shorts that went about mid thigh. He brought one hand up my thigh as gently as he had first played with my breast and I groaned, annoyed that he would touch me that way again. He grinned widely at my reaction before he reached under my shorts to trail his icy touch along my panties.

I focused on breathing; I pumped him to the pulse of my breath wanting desperately to make him cum for me before I lost it. He paused for a minute when I started pulling against him again, needing to regain his focus and control. Exasperated, I pulled him harder than before and he grunted. I wanted more from him so I pulled him as roughly and as quickly as I could.

"Keep your body still."

The demand was clear and I felt the wetness leaking from me. He licked up my juices from my thighs before he used both hands to hold down my pelvis. Annoyed that I could only pump him, I continued as roughly as I could. He leaned down across my body with his mouth facing my womanhood and lingered for what felt like eternity. I was tense with anticipation and close to release, I just needed something. He licked across my pussy as he had before, but the jeans seamed to dull more of the sensation. He seemed glad for it and leaned in closer. He sucked on my clit bringing me ever so close to the edge as I begged and pleaded for more. He looked up at me and I watched as he leaned down again and brushed his teeth along my clit.

I exploded in mind numbing force. I had been so close for so long that I lost all time and space. Seeing him like that, so close to hurting me but not actually causing pain, was more than I could take. Just the idea of him biting me could send me into pleasure. I started to come back down from the pleasure but the look in his eyes, his face as he leaned over me, was still behind my eyelids and I was forced immediately into another orgasm. It was so much pleasure it was almost pain.

I opened my eyes to bring myself down before I suffered from more exquisite pleasure. Edward was hovering over my body as I pumped him; but I had apparently been much rougher since seemingly losing control of my body. He was grunting, his eyes closed, head hung back. I leaned into his neck blowing my breath against him and he shuddered. I licked from the bottom of his neck up his Adam's apple to his jaw. When I got to his jaw I licked my way back down. When I reached his apple again I bit down on his skin.

The sound from his lips was amazing. He moaned deep and animalistic and when he took in air he said my name like a chorus of angels repeating it over and over. He shuddered through his whole body and seemed to slump into himself but never onto me. He pulled himself from my hand and rolled to my side panting for air like I had earlier. When he noticed I was watching him he looked at me with that same anticipatory smile I had seen the day before.

"You screamed my name so loudly my family considered coming in to rescue you."

He seemed proud but his smile was full of promise. I normally would've blushed knowing the torment we'd suffer for my vocals but the fact that I made him orgasm too seemed to eclipse everything. I kissed his lips softly lingering against them as my own smile grew.

"You weren't exactly quiet either."

His smile grew smugger than before and he pulled me into his arms whispering sweet nothings to me.

"You are amazing and I can't wait until you are my wife."

"I can't wait either, I found the dress today."

My comment was as excited as I felt. Overwhelming joy covered his face as he realized how excited I was. I really couldn't wait. I told him about my morning leaving out the detail of the shoes or dress, he wasn't allowed to know. He had taken a quick hunt to make sure he was well fed, because he would only go hunting once more before I turned, and that would be right before the wedding.

We listened to music and lied in each other's arms well into the night. I fell asleep instantly once he hummed my lullaby wondering how I ever argued against being his wife.


	6. Sunlight

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I woke up to the sun's rays obliterating the sweet dreams still lingering under my lids. I shifted slightly, unconsciously looking for Edward. His chuckle floated across my body, tempting my lids to open. My eyes fluttered open slowly; still unsure if being awake was what I wanted. That is, until I saw him lying beside me. My heart raced and my familiar blush spread across my face as my thoughts turned darker. He is so delicious. He smiled my very favorite smile as he watched my reaction before he finally leaned in to kiss me good morning.

"Good morning my love."

"mmmm, morning."

He laughed softly trailing his lips down the path from my neck to my ear, his path. I enjoyed the sweet caress of his lips for a minute before forcing myself to sit up. I needed a few human minutes and the temptation of staying under his lips was too great. I leaned over to kiss him and he pulled my body closer. I meant the kiss to be chaste and quick, I didn't want to inflict my morning breath on him. But my dearest Edward had other plans. The kiss was longing and desperate and he didn't release me when he normally would. I forced my lips from his to breathe, hating my pesky human needs. He returned to my neck, his kisses pressing harder against my skin. The burning aftermath of his lips had left my body aching for more.

"Edward."

I wanted to know why he was kissing me like this but I also didn't want it to stop. He mumbled against my neck and I loved the vibration that lingered.

"I spent all night waiting to kiss you; now that I finally can I intend to make the most of it. Today is sunny so I will be forced to spend it away from you. "

I realized belatedly that he was right; the sun was pounding against his room. I hated the sun when I couldn't spend the day with him basking in his beauty. I wanted to ignore my responsibilities and spend the day watching his skin sparkle. My thoughts wandered to a favored fantasy of mine; Edward, naked in the meadow with the sun making sparkles of his skin. I would trace the line of diamonds across his skin first with my fingers, followed by my lips, and finally replaced with my body against his. I sighed as I realized how deeply I would miss him today.

"Think of it this way, Alice cannot take you for more shopping today."

I laughed and couldn't help but look up at him with all the adoration I felt for him. He was just so wonderful and I seemed to find more reasons to love him every day. I imagine even when I am in the throes of eternity I will still find more reasons to love him. My smile marked my happy thoughts across my face as I imagined the happiness eternity would have for me.

"You are so beautiful when you smile, or blush, or trip, or laugh…"

He punctuated each point with a kiss down my neck working lower after each word. His words trailed off as he lost himself to kissing me. He was making it very difficult to move from my spot but I couldn't find it within me to be annoyed with him. I would miss him so. I gathered all my will power and moved my body away from his spell.

"I need a human minute."

He used his eyes against me to tempt me to stay on the bed with him but I really needed to brush my teeth. I thought longingly of the shower and smiled apologetically at Edward to show that I was still leaving. He sighed dramatically and flung his body back on the bed. I laughed; amused that he would act so young and carefree.

I loved this shower. The water pressure was just a small bit of heaven. It was harder to shower quickly here because it was just so relaxing. I reluctantly turned off the water to finish my human minutes. I snapped the hair band against my pony tail and walked slowly back to Edward's room. He is so exquisite. He was leaning towards me with his elbows raising his upper body from the bed. All he needed was a fan to blow his hair and for me to feed him grapes and the picture would be perfect. I giggled at the idea of Edward eating grapes as I made my way over to him. I made it to the bed before I tripped over my own feet. At least my landing was soft.

"Thank you, I'll be here all week. Another show will start in ten minutes."

I mumbled against the soft mattress.

I felt Edward next to me and his laughter floated around me as another sweet caress. I sighed into the sheets and turned to him. He had a beautiful smile on his face and his eyes showed how very much he loved me. He leaned in for a kiss and my hands had to feel his hair. I pulled him into me wanting to delay our parting for a little longer. Parting is such sweet sorrow… He nipped at my bottom lip forcing my lips open for him. I would never get used to his icy tongue against the warmth of my own. I held very still not wanting to make things harder on him.

Edward pulled me into his chest while he explored my mouth. I was holding the pleasure inside of me, forcing it into a heavy ball in the pit of my stomach. One of his hands played with the edge of my shirt before slipping under to rest on my stomach. I couldn't stop myself from gasping in surprise and he stole the breath from my mouth. His hand traced circles around my stomach as he let off my lips so I could breath. The moment that I caught my breath he pounced on my lips. I moaned into his mouth. I really hated that I couldn't control my reactions to him and I was desperately trying to keep my moans inside.

"Isabella do not keep your moans from me, let them fill the air like the sweetest melody."

I sighed into his mouth and he devoured me. His hand moved higher on my stomach stopping at the barrier of my bra. He sucked on my tongue and his hand covered my breast. I moaned into his mouth allowing him to eat it before it became sound. He moved his hand to trail the line of my cleavage as he let me up for more air. I was panting again. Just before I could pull him back to me Alice bounced into the room.

"You really don't want to tempt him Bella."

I blushed not wanting to know whatever it is that Alice saw. I sighed again when Edward removed his hand from my breast, squeezing me gently before letting go. He sat up scowling at his sister before he pulled me towards him setting me on his lap.

"To what do we owe the pleasure, Alice?"

Pleasure sounded like he meant anything but, and I smiled against him, amused that he was so annoyed. He looked down at me and his annoyance softened when he saw my amusement. He kissed my forehead and looked back to Alice.

"Well, Charlie wants to have a talk with Bella and if she stays here any longer she'll lose her virtue."

I blushed but jumped in alarm when I realized that I never went home last night.

"Charlie!"

Both Edward and Alice laughed at my alarm, no doubt knowing that I just caught on.

"Relax, silly Bella. I called him yesterday telling him about the many wedding emergencies that needed your immediate care. Oh but don't worry you'll make it up to me for handling them by myself. Even though we can't shop today I have a bag of things I need you to look over. I expect you to do it after you talk to Charlie. If you have questions about it, call me."

I really should have been annoyed with her but it's what I expected. At least she did me a favor by remembering Charlie. My stomach fell when I caught up with her words.

"Charlie wants to have a talk with me?"

I looked at her frantically, hoping she'd give me answers. She just looked at me sadly before nodding to Edward. She skipped out of the room with her usual vigor and I was drawn back to my love. I looked at him with wide eyes, begging him to tell me what Charlie was thinking.

"Edward? What does Charlie really think about all this?"

He regarded me for a moment before he sighed, giving in to my request.

"Bella, he knew it was coming so he had time to come to terms with it. He still doesn't trust me but he knows that if I got you to say yes there would be no hope against it. He really thought that you and Jacob would be together but he realized Jacob wasn't as good for you as he thought. He's afraid to tell Renee and afraid that I'll leave you one day and you'll end up like him. But he also doesn't want you to do what will make you happy because of him or his mistakes. He's mostly afraid of losing you and feels that I am stealing you away to a more exciting life than Forks."

I couldn't help the wince at Jacob's name but I followed everything Edward said trying to remember each point for the upcoming talk. I kissed him chastely, making it quick so he couldn't take it further. I looked at him memorizing his features for the millionth time before I would have to part with them.

"Take my car today since I can't drive you home, that way I'll worry less about you. "

I would normally protest but I had no other way to get home and honestly it would be half my Volvo soon. I smiled at the thought, amused by the randomness of my mind. I kissed his lips softly for the last time, again. I just hated to be away from him.

"Any day now."

Alice yelled out from her room.

I blushed but knew she was right. I walked slowly down the stairs before saying my goodbyes to the vamps. I grabbed the white canvas bag by the door that said "Future Mrs. Edward Cullen" and grabbed the keys to the Volvo. I wasn't surprised that she would buy such a bag. My only questions were when she bought it and how long she waited to put it to use. Shaking my head at Alice's enthusiasm I stumbled to the car.

Turning on the Volvo always surprised me because the engine was so smooth. It would purr to life. It really was the perfect car for Edward. I drove the familiar path home working myself up about what Charlie could want to say to me. It couldn't be as bad as I thought it was going to be. I just needed to stay calm and not worry so much. I pulled in beside Charlie's cruiser. I stepped out of the car and tripped immediately, ending up scratching my knee on the driveway.

"Hello ground did you miss me?"

It had been so long since I had fallen this way that I imagined it hurt more now. I had a nice gash across my knee and the blood made me dizzy. I lied back down on the driveway focusing on regulating my breathing and not passing out.

"Bella?"

Charlie sounded frantic and I could hear his heavy footsteps as he raced to me.

"I'm all right, I just tripped, and there's blood. I just need a minute."

Charlie helped me up, allowing me to lean on him to make it inside. We stumbled to the kitchen together and he eased me into a chair. He used a napkin to clean off the blood and I breathed a little easier. After a quick patch up I was all better. If only Edward were here to kiss it better. "Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Charlie sat down across from me at the table. His eyes still seemed frantic from finding me lying on the driveway. I nodded at him to let him know I heard and didn't mind then waited for him to say something.

"Bella, are you sure about getting married? You're just so young. You could wait a while, a year or two just to be sure."

He hesitated stumbling on his words and I chose this moment to interrupt before he could really get going.

"Yes dad, I'm sure. Edward is my life and there's no need to wait. We won't be you and Renee. This is what's right for me dad, for us."

He watched me while I explained looking for a sign of weakness. He nodded at me already defeated. I was surprised when he leaned closer.

"Renee called earlier you might want to call her back. And.."

His pause was even more deliberate there was something he didn't want to tell me but thought he should. I grew increasingly worried imagining all the things that could cause that reaction. My heart started racing and my hands got sweaty as my worry grew.

"Bella, I'm sorry but Jacob ran away."

A freight of guilt slammed into my stomach. I slumped back into my chair from the impact and took a moment to breath. I couldn't quite understand what he was saying. I took another minute to dissect the vague words floating around my head.

"Jacob's gone?"

My voice was soft and I sounded a million miles away. I didn't see or hear Charlie's response already lost to my sea of despair. I had hurt Jacob, I had hurt him so badly that he couldn't stand to stay and be reminded of it. He had been so good to me, my sunshine in a world of darkness. I wished so desperately that being best friends would've been enough for him. I'm so horrible, wishing for my own happiness before his. My head hung low overcome by the weight of my thoughts.

I thought desperately for a way to make things better for Jacob but could think of nothing. Perhaps once I left I would no longer be a constant reminder. He deserved better than me, than someone that could only love him halfway. He deserved a love like I had with Edward. Jacob was so good and so passionate that he needed someone to give all that to. I hoped that wherever he was that he was safe and that he'd find happiness. I couldn't change things so I would have to learn to deal with my guilt. I wouldn't repeat my mistakes and I wouldn't hurt Jacob or Edward again.

The phone rang by my hand and I nearly fell from the chair. I was pulled violently from my thoughts my heart racing from the fright. I picked it up before it could ring again.

"Hello?"

"Bella, I have been calling you since yesterday. Why haven't you called me back?"

"Oh mom, um I was out all day yesterday with Alice, I just found out you called this morning. I'm sorry I would've called sooner but I had an appointment with the floor (driveway) and had to clean up the cut."

"Hunny, are you okay? You really are too clumsy for your own good Bella."

"Yes, well."

My mother sighed loudly alerting me to her distress. There was a long awkward pause over the phone and I couldn't seem to think of anything to lift it. My thoughts felt lost. There was so much on my mind I couldn't form any coherent thoughts. I was forced to wait for my mother to form her own thoughts, however long that would take.

"Bella you can't do this. You're so young and you have so much ahead of you. Why not wait till after college; if you guys are still together then marriage would make sense. How could he support you? Why would you want to deal with the struggles of finals and a husband? Bella do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into? Have you thought this through? I didn't know you could be so rash."

I tried really hard not to be angry. My body was shaking with the effort of restraining my thoughts from being voiced. I had always supported her and I had never acted out. The only exception was when Edward left and that was understandable. I hoped that she would think about my needs but she, like Charlie, seemed to think that I was repeating her mistakes.

"I am not you."

The anger I felt was clear. I didn't want to hurt her but I was so deeply hurt. I was so close to her before I moved to Forks and I had hoped that she would see my side. She knew that I just didn't fall for any guy and that I didn't do anything rash. She knew me better than anyone and still didn't understand why I was doing this. My anger stopped her tirade and another awkward pause settled between us.

"I understand that you don't think I'm ready. I even understand that you fear for me. But I really thought that you'd understand mom. Edward is my life and that is all that matters. "

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to make you upset. I know you're not rash, I know he means everything to you, I just don't understand why you have to get married."

"Because it's right for us mom."

I let the silence linger, allowing it to say all the things I couldn't. I wanted her in my corner more than anyone. I wanted my mom to gush over her only daughter getting married to a doctor's son. I wanted for this to at least be normal. I didn't want my goodbye to her to be with her upset at me.

"Tell me why you can't just wait a year?"

I couldn't form an answer; dark emotions were clouding my head. I leaned against the table with the phone against my ear. I felt so heavy. It felt like I was being swallowed whole and suffocating. I couldn't doubt this now, Edward was it for me. The only reason why I hadn't said yes to him before was because of my parents. Because I thought of what everyone else would think of me. But why did it matter? I would never see them again. I wanted my mom to understand but if she didn't would that stop me? Would anything stop me?

No.

I came up for air, the heavy weight of guilt and doubt easing from me. With or without support I would marry Edward. It was right and what I needed.

"I'm sure mom, this is it."

I let my conviction come through my words; letting her to know how sure I was. There was no question anymore. I had allowed so much to happen because I couldn't decide or because I was afraid. I would not let that fear keep me from my destiny.

"Okay hunny."

"What?"

This suddenly seemed eerily familiar. I was already sitting upright, my conviction setting in the shape of my shoulders. I was finally ready to fight, only to find there was none to be had. I shook my head trying to resettle my thoughts.

"You're right. I should be thinking about you, not what I think is best for you. You've always been so mature and so good. I never had to worry like other moms. I knew that you wouldn't just do something rash. I know how much he means to you. I've never seen anything like it. You two love each other so much. I know he'll make you happy. I just fear that things won't work out. Marriage isn't easy and I don't want that for you."

"I know you only want the best for me mom, but believe it or not, it's this."

"I know Bella."

"Thanks mom."

We parted on a much higher note. For the first time in days I felt the release of stress from my shoulders. Now that things were resolved with my parents I could allow myself to feel the happiness that Edward brought me. The weight of Jacob's disappearance reappeared and I grew annoyed at myself. There was nothing I could do for him, I had done enough, I needed to deal with my part in it and allow him and myself to move on.

I spent hours looking through the various notebooks Alice had. I couldn't make heads or tails of it. Half of the words were in French while everything else was in a code I didn't understand. Frustrated I threw it all back into the bag and threw my head in my hands.

"Ugh, I hate the sun."

"Really, it's not the sun's fault."

I jumped at his sweet voice. There he was looking more delicious than anyone had the right too. He was smiling at me, making it impossible for me not to want him. I looked out the window and noticed the rain. I smiled glad that at least something was going right. He used my distraction to cover my face in the gentlest of kisses. I melted into his arms.

"I had the worst day."

"I can smell the trace of blood, are you okay?"

"Oh don't worry the driveway and I had a little talk."

He shook his head at me and I watched the graceful way his bronze hair fell into his eyes.

"Let's go."

I looked at him dumbfounded but followed him out of the house. I hadn't even noticed Charlie was gone. I looked up at Edward in alarm.

"He left you a note, you seemed lost in thought, and he's with Billy."

He left the reason why unsaid and I winced as I thought of how poor Billy was handling Jacob's absence. Edward watched my every nuance and I vowed to be stronger for him. He kissed the furrow in my brow and ran me to his car. He had us in motion before I had finished buckling. I didn't bother to ask what we were doing or where we were going, he wouldn't answer.

I was a little surprised to be back at the Cullen house but followed him inside. Alice pounced on me before I even made it through the door. I was placed on my throne; I had begun to create adventure fantasies, having spent so much time in this chair, in this bathroom. Alice was the dragon, and I was the princess, or at least I would be by the time the dragon had her way with me. I giggled picturing Edward in tights and Alice looked at me wearily.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Nope."

I giggled again and tried to focus on what was going on. I looked up and noticed Rosalie tentatively brushing my hair. I gasped, surprised to see her and she jumped away from me.

"No, it's okay Rosalie, I was just surprised, and I hadn't noticed you there."

I blushed, chagrined that I had been so oblivious. Rosalie smiled softly at me before picking the brush up again and bringing it to my hair.

"Do I want to know why you're doing this to me?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

Alice sang to me, Rosalie just looked at me apologetically. We had a rather delicate relationship, both unsure of what to do or say around the other. I was just glad that she didn't hate me anymore. After I 

had been tweezed, waxed, brushed, styled, and made up, I was given a pile of silk. The underwear was deep red lace. I blushed embarrassed by the lack of coverage just looking at it. Alice yelled at me from the other side of the door.

"Put it on yourself or I'll do it for you."

I gulped and did as she said. The silk that she had given me was a gorgeously blue dress that came just to my knees. I really loved the color. I was worried about why I would need to wear such a dress but couldn't keep from touching it. I walked out to Alice and Rose and was surprised when they both gasped. Alice clapped excitedly bouncing around her closet until she found the shoes she had been looking for. They were ballet flats with the barest hint of heels. I was impressed. They were red but didn't have the Wizard of Oz look. Together with the dress they were amazing. I twirled for them.

Rose gave me another smile before complimenting me. I thanked them both and asked where I could find my love. Alice pointed me downstairs. I normally would race to get to Edward, but not with these stairs. I swear they had a vendetta against me. I held on to the banister and walked slowly down. Every step left the soft clatter from my heel ringing in the hall. When I finally reached the bottom Edward was waiting.

I sucked in a deep breath. He was just so beautiful. He was wearing dark slacks and a deep blue silk button up. I wanted to run my fingers down the silk to trace the muscles that I knew where there. He took me into his arms, inhaling my scent. His other hand played with my curls as he took another long look at me.

"You are so absurdly beautiful."

His eyes were turning darker as he used them to rake over me. I really enjoyed this reaction from him. He was the one that was absurd. How could I possibly compare to such a god? But if he really thought so I wouldn't talk him out of it. He kissed me deeply, taking all my air, before I found myself buckled in the Volvo.

We were driving to Seattle. I was fuming. We were going to the city, dressed like this, and he was grinning like a fool.

"Damn it, I hate surprises. How many times do I have to tell you to stop spending money on me?"

"Bella, as much as I love you, this is for me. It's something I've always wanted to do and I was hoping that you would help me. Obviously the dinner part is for you but that's my exchange for what will happen later. If you so approve."

He really was something. My chest was heaving with my anger and he knew it. He knew exactly how to turn it so that I couldn't refuse him. I glared at him trying to hold my anger for as long as I could. He smiled brightly at me his eyes raking over me for the millionth time.

"Keep your eyes on the road."

He laughed loudly at my annoyance. I stared out the front window glaring at the road. This is really feeling eerily familiar. Stupid vampires and their stupid powers and their stupid beauty… At least I could stare at him while he drove. I took the opportunity to watch him; I traced the silk around his muscles undressing him with my eyes. He looked up at me with darkening eyes, all traces of a smile gone. He knew what I was doing. I blushed but couldn't take my eyes from him. I got lost in his gaze.

"We're here."

I really am better off not paying attention to how quickly we get places when I travel with vampires. I looked at my surroundings trying to figure out where here was. I choked on my anger. He wouldn't dare.

We were at a really fancy restaurant on the river. I glared at him telling him silently that I disapproved. He laughed again and pulled me from the car. He kissed me deeply before I could protest. I wrapped my hands into his hair pulling him closer to me. He smiled against my lips and I remembered where we were. I groaned when he let me go but followed him obediently into the restaurant.

"Reservation, Cullen."

Edward was brief with the host that greeted us as we entered. The man was making me uncomfortable as he seemed to be undressing me with his eyes. He didn't even look at Edward when he spoke.

"Right this way."

The host looked at me for a long moment before turning and leading us upstairs to a more private area. The view was breathtaking and I was taken away by how romantic the restaurant was. The lighting was soft and flattering, making things seems more sensual. Edward pulled me close to him and used his other hand to trace circles on my arm. A trail of goose bumps lingered after his fingers.

We sat at our table, Edward pulling out my chair. The host made a production of giving us our menus before walking away. Edward growled low in his chest and I moved closer to calm him.

"I love you."

He smiled at me leaning over the table to kiss me. I didn't mean to make it more but he was just so tempting. I licked along his bottom lip wanting to taste his mouth. He let me in as I tried to lick away his tongue. A discreet cough alerted me to my surroundings and I blushed and pulled away. I groaned when I saw who it was. A bottle blond with big boobs was tapping her stiletto impatiently waiting for us. She was looking at Edward hungrily and my temper was rising.

Edward, ever the gentlemen, never looked away from me, but that didn't stop me from getting angrier. She leaned low showing me how very generous her chest was and asked whether we were ready for her. I spent a good minute destroying her with my wit, in my head of course, before I realized Edward was ordering for me. I looked at him confused. He leaned in close to whisper his answer to me.

"It makes it less obvious that I don't eat. Plus I heard a few things I wanted you to try. "

I just nodded at him, whatever he wanted. He smiled at me smugly before kissing my neck quickly. The cough was back and so was the tapping. I groaned unable to hide my annoyance. Edward's smile grew before he dismissed her telling her we didn't need anything at the moment. He leaned back in to kiss me and she interrupted.

"Are you sure _you_ don't need _anything_ more?"

I am going to kill her. I was fuming but Edward just politely declined.

"You know I really hate how much other women want you."

He leaned in to me finishing the kiss that was interrupted.

"You have no idea how much worse it is to hear what men think of you."

He really was absurd but I kissed his forehead to remove the frown from his face. We spent the time waiting for my food spreading kisses wherever we could reach. Edward's hand was resting on my knee and I was losing focus on where we were. The cough was back along with the boobs and I pulled away to receive my food.

"Oysters?"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you trying to tell me something Mr. Cullen?"

He looked at me his eyes darkening as he took in my form again. The hand on my knee moved higher and I sucked in a breath. He dismissed the waitress immediately not giving me the chance to get annoyed with her. She stomped away obviously upset by his lack of interest. I ate slowly, I had never had oysters before and I liked it. Cough came back to remove our plates and brought a delicious cake. It was a chocolate tiered cake with dipped strawberries surrounding it.

"This is so good it's sinful."

I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my mouth when I took my first bite. Edward groaned and moved beside me, pulling his chair as close as he could. I took another bite enjoying it as much as my first. Edward attacked my neck with his lips while I ate and the hand that had been safely on my knee moved up. I took my third bite and nearly choked. His hand was rubbing up my thighs. I swallowed thickly focusing on breathing and eating. I picked up a strawberry and moaned again, I really loved strawberries.

Edward's hand cupped my pussy when I moaned and I moaned again. He rubbed against the lacey panties slowly teasing me. The torrent of kisses on my neck were making it harder for me to eat. I took another bite of my strawberry hoping that focusing on eating would keep me quiet. He moved his fingers to under my panties and my gasp was quite loud. He laughed against my neck and I grabbed the table for support.

He rubbed his fingers against me as he had outside of my panties but it was so much more with the bare skin. He was so cold and I was so hot down there. I was becoming very wet and I could not stop myself from wanting more.

"Keep eating."

God I love when he's demanding. I spread my legs unconsciously and did as I was told. I took another bite and one of his fingers entered me. I moaned into my fork. Edward had never done that before, and the first time, we're in public. I blushed deeply, we're in public.

"Edward, we can't, we're in public."

"I know."

But he didn't stop he pulled out of me and then put his finger back in. My back arched and I thrust my hips into his hand. He kissed along my neck again and I found that I was out of air. He pulled out of me and ran his finger across my pussy lips up to my clit. He rubbed against me gently and moved back down to my lips. He is so frustrating.

"Edward."

I growled at him and he was more amused at my poor attempt.

"Beg me Bella."

I groaned, of all the times he wants me to beg… I held my ground unwilling to go further here. I kept forgetting we were in public and needed to behave. He ran his finger over my entrance just barely putting pressure against it and I lost my train of thought. He was so cold, it was soothing, but ignited a fire inside me. His breath against my neck and his finger against my opening were just too much.

"Oh please Edward, please."

He answered by placing two fingers in me and my moan was long and deep. I had wanted him inside me for so long. I rocked against him as I realized that Edward was inside me. It may not have been completely, but part of him was inside me. I moved one hand from the table and ran it down his erection. He moaned into my neck. I loved that reaction. I couldn't unzip him in case anyone came closer but I could play with him through his clothes. I wanted to touch his bare skin, to taste him. I was getting tired of barriers.

He pumped into me, kissing my neck erratically. I rubbed him more expertly, glad that I had a better idea of what pleased him. I loved his moans, and feeling them against me was heaven.

"Eat for me, please."

I could feel my wetness spilling from me when he pleaded. He smiled when he realized how I reacted to his words. He really loved to toy with me. I used my left hand, awkwardly taking another bite, while my right hand pumped him. I moaned, unable to keep it in with all the sensations going around me. Edward's erection was moved away from me and his fingers pulled out of me. I groaned annoyed. I noticed after I straightened my dress that cough was heading back to check on us. She didn't make it to the table before Edward sent her away. When she was out of site Edward disappeared.

I felt the skirt of my dress being lifted and looked down to see Edward spreading my legs. I inhaled deeply holding on to the chair for support.

"No one will see me because of the table cloth."

I nodded unable to really understand him at the moment.

"I need you to stay very still Bella, can you follow my orders."

I nodded again; I didn't think it needed said.

He leaned in and my heart raced my blood was pumping out all other sound. My whole body tensed waiting for him to do anything. My pussy throbbed and ached for him. He leaned down slowly watching my eyes the whole time when he finally reached the center of my legs he took in a deep breath. He moaned against my center and I shuddered.

"I like these panties, take them off so I can keep them."

I stared at him dumbfounded.

"I said take them off Bella."

I nodded unsure why he would really want them but did as I was told. I scooted around my chair, awkwardly pulling them down my legs with Edward still between them. When I finally took them off he 

brought my panties to his face and inhaled deeply before he placed them in his pants pocket. He moved his hands up my legs following the path of his hands with his kisses. I leaned back against the chair losing my ability to hold myself upright.

I jumped when he kissed right beside my knee, and he smiled like a cat that swallowed the canary, at finding such a spot. When he got high on my thighs I couldn't stop myself from lifting my pelvis towards him. I was offering myself to him on a silver platter. Whatever he wanted he could have. He kissed the highest point of my thigh before he licked each lip. He licked his way up to my clit slowly. His hands were now holding me in place. I was unable to squirm and that seemed to make the pleasure more difficult to bear. He licked me lightly again against my clit and I moaned. Each moan that came from me sounded throatier. We were definitely in new territory and I voiced this new thought.

"Is this heavy petting?"

He smiled against my womanhood and turned his golden eyes to me.

"No."

I inhaled deeply needing the air to feel my lungs. Oh God. My head fell back again as I wondered what would be heavy. He licked my lips and moved one hand down to spread them for him. I shuddered but still couldn't move my pelvis. He licked me again, now that I was fully spread for him, while his fingered played with my opening. He didn't enter me; he seemed to be enjoying toying with me. He licked up to my clit and placed a sweet kiss on it before kissing his way lower. When he licked between my lips he pressed his tongue into my opening.

My breath was coming in deep pants and my upper body was shaking and heaving with the effort. I wanted him so badly; I could feel the ache deep in my bones. I imagined taking him on the table, riding him in front of everyone. Before I could put my rash desires in to action he pulled his tongue out and put it back in me. My hands shook and I grabbed his hair, pulling it to bring him closer. He moaned but his tongue was still inside me. My leg twitched, my whole body was out of my control. He pulled his tongue out again and replaced it with a finger. As wonderful as his tongue felt it was nothing to his finger. I moaned again and closed my eyes.

My head jumped back up and my eyes opened when he licked my clit, with his finger pushing inside me. He moved another finger inside me and I fell back.

"You taste better than I imagined."

I moaned unable to respond to him any other way. He licked my clit and seemed to turn his fingers. I had never felt inside myself, Edward was the first inside me, so I didn't know that there was a spot of pure bliss. Edward turned his fingers just right and they pressed against me. I exploded into his mouth unable to contain any more pleasure.

I was blind behind my lids unable to see anything but white. My body felt disconnected and I was empty of any thought. Slowly thoughts came back. My first was "Oh.God.Edward." I then reconnected with my limbs, one by one. My toes were curled and numb, I couldn't feel them. My back was still arched and my hands were clamped in Edward's hair, still pulling him against me. I released him by opening each finger, unable to handle more than a finger at a time.

He sat patiently between my knees for me to come back from my orgasm. I kept losing focus, feeling aftershocks of pleasure. Edward licked every drop from me. Every time I shook with release he leaned in to clean me up. I swore that he was causing all my aftershocks but then again he caused the first. When I could feel my toes again, I moved my legs and sat in a more respectable position.

Once I had fully adjusted and felt that the evidence was minimum I turned back to the Greek God beside me. I couldn't help the smile that kept overtaking my face. I tried to frown or scowl but all that appeared was that smile. Edward's smile was smug and hungry. I tried to speak but found that my mouth was dry. I took a drink before attempting again.

"Whhhat was that?"

Well at least I formed a sentence.

"That my love was just a few kisses."

I scoffed at him. That was his explanation. His smile grew with my disbelief and he leaned in as if to tell me a secret.

"I will kiss you that way as often as you like."

I shuddered and closed my eyes. He pulled me into his arms kissing my head.

"Try something with me."

The disbelief on my face grew.

"That wasn't what you wanted to try?"

"No silly Bella that was me unable to resist you moaning in that dress. Follow me."

I shook my head unable to believe that any of this was real. I followed Edward downstairs unable to help the red that stained my checks and neck. He led us to a dance floor and I looked at him appalled. He didn't bother to argue with me, he simply carried me to the middle. I realized that we were the only ones on the dance floor and that it was surrounded with diners. I blushed deeper.

"Bella, I will not let you fall, I will never let you come to harm. I have lived a long time and have never had a suitable partner for this dance, please let me enjoy this with you."

I couldn't deny him, not when he asked like that, so I nodded.

The music that started startled me. I expected a waltz or at most a fox trot, but a tango. I shook my head vigorously afraid of how much trouble a tango would get me in. Edward placed his hands low on my hips.

"Follow my hands; do not think of your feet. Think of my body against yours and it will come natural. Just follow my orders and I'll take care of us."

I sighed; I really loved when he was demanding.

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

I whispered it blushing deeply.

"I know. That will be part of my enjoyment."

I stared at him but followed his instructions. At first I stumbled whenever the music got fast or when he would have to pull away but as we danced longer my body responded to his without thought. 

Edward's hands were sex playing across my hips, demanding that I rub against him, or pull away. Every move brought us closer together and I found that I really enjoyed dancing with him this way. Edward placed kisses on my skin whenever he could reach and whenever he dipped me he attacked my neck.

I yawned unexpectedly and Edward looked just as surprised as I was. We had totally lost track of time. I looked at the white gold watch on my wrist and was shocked to see it was midnight. Edward headed back to the front and simply had the host settle our account. It was an uncomfortable couple of minutes, as the host made lewd eyes at me, while we settled the bill. I sighed happily once outside the hotel and allowed Edward to sweep me in his arms.

"Thank you, Bella, for tonight, you've made so many of my dreams come true."

I smiled at him before leaning in to kiss him.

"No, Edward, thank you."


	7. Bonding and Bondage

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

Summer days have the very unique gift of blending together. I used to spend my summers imagining jobs for myself or lazing about with a favored classic. But this summer I had so much to anticipate and that caused time to move exceptionally slow. When not in Edward's arms, time seemed to tick slower, coming to a standstill until Edward brought it spiraling faster. The moments in his arms never lasted long enough. It was a cruel trick of time to make me wait so anxiously for him and then take him away so quickly.

I sat staring at the clock waiting until it reached noon. I had exactly 22 minutes to go, and they couldn't take any longer. I had already spent 30 minutes in such a fashion. I attempted to give myself jobs. I cleaned the bathroom, mopped the kitchen, I even looked at my bag of wedding evils. But nothing could keep my time for long. The house was silent, Charlie had left early in the morning because there were fish that needed caught. The echo of the clock reverberated through the house steadying my heart beat to it. Just another reminder of how cruel time is.

Twenty minutes till noon. I groaned, sick of staring at the clock. I grabbed the bag of evils and spread the various papers across the table. I bit the end of my pen absentmindedly while I tried to read French. In pure boredom, or perhaps desperation to be doing something, I began to speak "French" pretending to be Alice. I threw in occasional words like Gucci knowing that was one she liked to say a lot. I had no idea what it meant but it sounded European. I jumped out of my seat landing with a loud thump on the floor.

Edward was laughing so hard he was holding himself against the wall. My cheeks flamed and I ducked my head to keep from further embarrassing myself. There were worse things I could do. That thought cheered me as I rubbed my bum to ease some of the pain.

"I'm sorry my dearest, but never in a million years, did I expect to see or hear such a display from you. You realize that you said the goat tree needed topped with Gucci?"

His smile was so breathtaking. I nodded dumbly, unsure of what I was being asked. He walked towards where I sat hunched on the floor. His occasional laugh echoed in his path. He reached down pulling me into his arms, breathing in my scent, and kissing my neck. I sighed, immensely relieved to finally be back in his arms. I looked across at the clock and couldn't help the rush of affection I felt when I noticed he was ten minutes early.

"You're early, thank you."

I reached on my tip toes to kiss his neck, he was so wonderful.

"I came as soon as I could. In order to escape Alice, I had to sell us to her for the evening. I'm sorry it was the best I could do. However, pack up your bag and we can look it over at the house. The family misses you, we've hardly spent time with them lately, and I can actually speak French."

He knew very well that I wanted his help. He also knew that I loved his family, our family. So he was expecting an immediate yes from me, when I withheld an answer he frowned down at me.

"What is it Bella, what's wrong?"

His concern grew rapidly, completely transforming his beautiful face. I reached my hand up to smooth the lines of concern from his face and answered.

"I've sort of been avoiding them."

I blushed crimson and hid my head in his chest. I hoped he would know why I didn't want to see the family, without making me say it. I looked up to gauge Edward's reaction and he looked just as confused.

"You do know that I cannot read your thoughts, can you tell me why you have been avoiding our family?"

The strain of his concern was a deep undercut in his words. I knew I needed to tell him before he imagined a great threat against my life. He always did overreact.

"Well, um, they, uh, UGH!"

Well, that went exactly as I planned. I shook my head and tried to build the courage to speak. My inability to form a coherent sentence alerted Edward that my avoidance was not because of my safety, but because of my embarrassment. I'm sure he figured out quickly why I was embarrassed, but like his sister, he would force me to say it.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't quite understand that, could you repeat yourself?"

He couldn't hide his amusement from me and I grew frustrated with him for embarrassing me further. When the smile crept on his face my anger grew.

"Fine, I've been avoiding them because I asked Alice a stupid question, and they all heard us when we were well, um, you know. Emmett will make fun of me, and Alice will torture me, and how will I ever look at Esme again, and..."

He cut me off by placing a kiss to my lips.

"Love, you are completely and utterly absurd."

His laugh echoed across my kitchen and I loved the sound of it. His eyes trapped mine and he leaned in laying the sweetest of kisses against my lips. I momentarily lost my train of thought as I focused on his lips. A chuckle escaped him and brought me back to my anger, he was laughing at me. I knew that the whole family would make fun of me. I didn't need Edward to laugh too. I couldn't hide the pain on my face as I thought of Edward laughing at me. Why shouldn't he, he's so amazing, and I'm so plain.

"Bella?"

All amusement was gone from his voice but I couldn't bring myself to lift my eyes to his. I could feel the tears coming as my insecurities grew. I didn't deserve him.

"Bella?"

His voice grew louder as he pulled me tighter to him. He used his hand to pull my chin up until my eyes were forced to look into his. I was taken aback by the love shining in his eyes, I had been convincing myself that he couldn't really love anyone as ridiculous as me, but seeing his eyes eased that doubt.

"My love, please, tell me what is wrong?"

His voice was sultry and pleading for me to tell him my hurts. I couldn't find the words to tell him my insecurities, would he laugh? Would he leave me? I shook my head to clear all those doubts, he loved me and I was working myself up over nothing.

"You were laughing at me."

My voice sounded small even to my own ears and I wished, not for the first time, that I was stronger. With my confession his eyes grew pained and he pulled me even closer. He wrapped me into his arms, encasing me. He wrapped one of his hands into my hair while he repeatedly kissed my head, wherever he could reach.

"I'm sorry Bella; I wasn't trying to embarrass you. I wasn't laughing at you. You're just so adorable and you make me so incredibly happy. You are unlike anyone I have ever met."

I could hear the sincerity in his voice, and the pain for causing me pain. I forced my doubts down and smiled at him to show that I forgave him. There was never really a question that I wouldn't forgive him, but he appeared not to know that. The pain in his eyes dulled as my smile grew and I enjoyed being wrapped in him. We stood that way, letting the clock tick by, unwilling to pull apart from one another.

He leaned down and kissed near my ear.

"I love you so very much Bella, you are my everything, please know that I would never laugh at you. I won't let my family laugh at you either. They will understand, they have hardly said anything to me about it, so I'm sure they won't bother you."

I thought that he was being awfully optimistic but he was right in a way, I couldn't avoid them forever. I would just have to make sure that whoever made fun of me would pay when I finally turned.

"Okay, let's face them."

I gathered my bag and allowed Edward to carry me to the Volvo. I had no desire to meet with the driveway again and there was the added benefit of being so close to him. I stared longingly at the solitude of my house as we pulled away, terrified about what was to come. I sincerely hoped Edward was right.

Edward held my hand in his as he drove, repeatedly placing kisses on my fingers. I grinned unable to help myself, he was just so sweet. I caught him staring at me every time I turned to him and I reminded him every time to watch the road. His laughter caressed me and soothed the last of my insecurities from my mind. I gave up pretending to be interested in all that green outside my window and stared longingly at Edward. He pretended, just as unsuccessfully, to watch the road; eventually giving up all together, and just staring at me. I lost myself to him unconcerned about anything outside of those topaz orbs.

His name slipped from my lips, the softest whisper. He heard it easily, smiling more crookedly as my body reacted to him. My heart raced, pushing the blood to stain my cheeks, and leaving me breathless. He waited an eternity in that moment; making me ache with anticipation, before he leaned over and stalled just at my lips. I huffed impatiently.

"Kiss me, now."

My voice echoed annoyance and lust throughout the car. Edward laughed joyously at my words and did just as I demanded. He licked at my bottom lip and my mouth opened pushing all my air out with my tongue. My body stilled, forcing my hands to clench his hair between my fingers. He sucked on my tongue as I fought to stay in control over my body. He licked the roof of my mouth and I moaned into his mouth.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, release her now or I'll tell her all your fantasies."

I jumped from Edward; unaware that we had an audience or that we had stopped in front of the house. Alice was standing outside Edward's door with her hands on her hips. For such a tiny little pixie she sure packed a punch. Edward laughed at Alice and leaned in to kiss me again.

"Edward has a picture of you at prom that he…"

Edward had jumped away from me and out of the car, covering Alice's mouth with his hand, and growled a warning for her to stop. I could hear Alice's giggles through his hands and I watched as they came to a silent agreement.

"That he what, Alice?"

"Loves to look at, what did you think silly Bella?"

I watched her suspiciously. That wasn't what made Edward leap from the car. She nodded slightly in my direction and I knew she'd tell me later. Edward growled at Alice and this time I giggled. 

Both vampires turned incredulous stares in my direction. I shrugged at them, what can I say? They're so like normal siblings together.

Alice grabbed me, running before Edward could counterattack and I found myself in the living room. She disappeared for a moment before she reappeared with my bag o' horrors. I giggled at yet another name for my bag and received more looks from Alice and Edward. I groaned as I watched the little devil spread the papers out, with much more order than I ever managed. She pointed at random piles explaining their significance and I couldn't help myself from interjecting.

"What about the goat tree?"

Edward laughed uproariously at my innocent inquiry. Alice, on the other hand, was fuming. Apparently, she had seen my little show already and didn't appreciate my incredible impersonation skills. I pulled out the doe eyes, a trick Alice loved to use against me.

"What's wrong Alice, I thought you wanted my input?"

I jutted my lip out in a pout and focused on staring her down. If I looked at Edward at all I would've come undone. She tried to stay angry at me but when I fluttered my eyelashes she joined Edward in laughing. I grinned triumphant and threw myself into the white couch.

"Okay Alice, no need for restraints this time, I come willingly."

Alice giggled harder at what I just said and Edward's head snapped up to watch her through narrowed eyes. I raised an eyebrow in question, wondering what the woman had seen now.

"Do I even want to know Alice?"

Through her laughter, she somehow managed to scrape out a no. I nodded unwilling to fight over it and waited for said torture to resume. I watched Edward as Alice spoke. There was no way I would understand a word she was saying, but he would. He looked down at me, amused that I was watching him so closely. He leaned in and placed a kiss on my lips, he was sitting upright before I fully registered the kiss. He grinned widely at Alice and resumed his previous position of avid listener. Alice looked down for a moment and he kissed me again. I giggled, covering my mouth with my hands to stifle the sound. Alice looked up glaring daggers at Edward. His smile was breathtaking.

Every time Alice looked away from Edward's eyes he took advantage to place a quick kiss on my lips. It became a game between them to see if he could do it fast enough not to get caught. He lost every time, but that didn't seem to stop him from continuing. Practice makes perfect, I guess. I was unprepared for the feeling of Edward's tongue on my lip, I had been expecting more quick kisses, and I gasped onto his lips. He used my surprise to sneak his tongue between my lips and I moaned into him.

"Oh Edward."

"Oh do me Bella."

"No, do me Edward."

I groaned.

"We really need to stop getting caught like this Edward. And hello to you too Emmett. "

Emmett grinned broadly while he made kissy faces at me. He turned around and pretended to make out with himself, randomly moaning Edwards name in a high falsetto.

"Please, even I do better impersonations than that."

Alice and Edward laughed but Emmett turned to stare at me in question. I smiled widely at him glad to have gotten him off his previous topic.

"Emmett, never moan my name again."

Edward's voice was thick with warning and I giggled at his annoyance. He looked down at me annoyed to see me laughing, but his frustration softened with my giggles. I giggled more, amused that I had the same affect on him that he usually had on me. He leaned down to kiss my forehead and I laughed against his neck. He shivered and I lost all the air in my lungs. I looked up at him through my lashes and was stunned by the look in his eyes. His eyes were full of lust and longing, but I could clearly see his love for me.

"Edward stop using sex eyes with her, I wanna play with Bella too. You and Alice always hog her."

Emmett crossed his arms petulantly across his chest, jutting his lips out as I had earlier. I smiled at how adorable he looked and couldn't help myself from trying to help him.

"You've got to bat the eyelashes, that does them in."

Both Alice and Edward turned to me and I'm sure I had the cheesiest grin. I batted my eyelashes at them and they both burst out in laughter.

"So can I have her?"

Emmett's question was innocent enough, but Edward grabbed me pulling me into his chest as he growled at his brother. Alice giggled at him and responded for Edward.

"Nope, she's mine tonight."

Alice winked at me and I didn't understand what had her so amused. Edward growled at her and I giggled into his chest. He really was adorable.

I found myself pressed against a door and more giggles escaped me. He had moved me while I laughed, to his room, pressing me against his bedroom door.

"You're really beginning to make a habit out of this Edward."

He groaned and pulled me towards him.

"Two times does not form a habit Bella, but if you'd like, we can do this again tomorrow just to make sure."

I moaned against him, he really had no idea what his words could do to me. I looked up at him, the lust already coating my eyes, and found that he knew just what effect he was having on me.

"Your mine Bella, need I remind you of that again."

I moaned, I reached for him, only coming in contact with his neck and I kissed him as many times as I could.

"And you're mine Edward."

He moaned against me pulling me up against his body. I loved the sound of his voice. His moans had a way of pulling deep inside me, overwhelming me with lust. His moans would build inside me until his final release and it would cause earth shattering bliss for me. Even my own pleasure could not compare to just the sound of Edward's. I looked up at him and my decision was made. He had given me so much pleasure, now I would give to him.

I reached for the zipper of his pants, I wanted to feel him. Edward captured my lips in his and I lost all train of thought. He pressed my body against the door and held me there with his own body. He held the kiss until I felt that I might faint; then he released me to trace his path on my neck. He pulled my hands up above my head, pressing them into the door. I moaned deeply, I truly loved the way he always knew exactly what he wanted. He held my hands above me with just one of his, using his other to slide down my side, down my hip, to my knee, and to hitch my leg by my knee around his waist.

I whimpered when I came in contact with his erection and he grinned at my reaction. I tried to reorder my thoughts aware only that I had been about to attempt something. I struggled through my lust to come up with some kind of answer. Edward noticed my struggle for thought and took it as a personal challenge. He ran his hand down my other side, causing a stream of goose bumps through my shirt where his fingers touched. When he reached my hip, he ran his hand down my butt, cupping it to pull me closer to him. I loved the way it felt.

Edward had full control over my body and I enjoyed every minute of it. He released my cheek by slow degrees. He brushed his fingers tentatively down the back of my thigh and my legs trembled. When he reached the back of my knee he grabbed it, forcing both my legs to wrap around his waist. I moaned and my legs intertwined, trapping Edward in my embrace.

He ran his hands from my waist to my back to trail fire down my spine. I shivered in pleasure. His touch seemed to cover my whole body, bringing out the fire hidden in my blood. A light sheen of sweat was on my forehead, and I could feel the condensation between my breasts. My body was on fire for him; his light touches were only air on my flame. I yearned for him to douse me with his coolness, but he resisted my attempts to pull him closer.

Frustrated that I couldn't get closer I turned my head away from him. I wouldn't make it easier on him. Edward let my hands go so both his hands could touch me. I used the opportunity to go for his zipper again, undeterred by his last denial. I wanted to feel him and this time I would. We were close, only inches separating us, and I reached in between us to fumble at his zipper.

"Bella."

His voice was warning but I ignored it. He went down on me, without asking for my permission, I could repay the favor. I just wanted to see him, to taste him, then he could tell me no. But not now, not this time, I was determined. He reached for my hands and I glared up at him.

"No Edward."

He was startled by my voice, unprepared for me to tell him no. I got his zipper halfway down before I was trapped by his hands again. I groaned. He really needed to stop doing that.

"Edward let my hands go."

My anger was building. I wanted him so desperately and he wouldn't let me have what I wanted. Just then a thought came to me, I smiled triumphant to be thinking at all, and leaned in to act on my thought. I leaned forward, my legs around his waist; my hands trapped behind my back, and brushed my breasts against his chest. I pushed my body into the natural curve of his and sucked on his neck. Edward took a long shaky breath but his hands remained on mine.

Two could play that game. I ran my tongue from the base of his neck to his ear, when I reached it I moaned his name softly. Edward pressed me back into the door, using it to support us both. I reached up from where I sat in his arms and bit roughly on his ear, it wouldn't hurt him, and I wanted his attention.

"Bella."

His voice was warning but husky, he couldn't hide his lust from me. I laughed loudly at him and he turned his dark topaz eyes to look into my brown ones. I wanted him. I could feel just how much I needed him. I knew without looking at myself that my body clearly showed my readiness for him. My chest was panting for breath. My skin was flushed from the heat, with a light layer of sweat covering me. He removed one of his hands and used his fingers to trace the curves of my face, down my neck, to rest at my collar. He looked deep into my eyes before he moved his fingers down my cleavage and under my shirt.

Okay he was definitely winning, but really how could I consider this a loss? My back arched and my head fell back. My breasts were perched like an offering for him ready for his will. He placed a sweet kiss on my lips then he released my hands. Before I could finish his zipper he ripped my shirt from my body. I couldn't hide my shock from him, I hadn't expected that. Sooner than I could question him his mouth descended on my bra.

"Oh.God.Edward."

He chuckled against my breast and the vibration shot through my chest, landing somewhere in my bones. My whole body felt like jello. I was twitching in anticipation. He leaned into my neck and attacked. His kisses started out as soft tantalizing whispers against my skin but they grew in intensity. Soon it felt he was yelling his lust into my skin. I moved my hips against him and he groaned into my neck. My whole body shook, his pleasure was my pleasure. I reached for his zipper, just finishing it, when he grabbed my hands again. I was tired of fighting him, time for plan B.

"Please Edward. I just want to see you, to taste you. Please."

I was resorting to begging, but for him I would do so much more. I looked up at him through my lashes hoping that he would give in to this desire. I rubbed him through his clothes. Edward remained silent, so I reached for his pants. I couldn't move them far from my position. I looked back up at him with pleading eyes. He breathed out heavily before he lifted me up and removed his pants. I sucked in all the air in the room, he wore boxer briefs, and oh he was so beautiful. I could make out the very clear shape of his erection and the idea that just one piece of fabric stopped me from seeing him; spurred me into action.

He placed me on my feet so I could have my way with him. He seemed reluctant to put me down but he didn't argue with me. He remained stoically silent, but I found that his silence made me long for his moans even more. I ran my fingers along the elastic of his briefs. I watched his stomach muscles tense as I brushed gently across them. His body was superb. I looked his chest over with hungry eyes. I followed the trail of his muscles with my eyes and then my fingers. When I reached the V that led down to his briefs I sucked in more air. I gathered all my courage and pulled his briefs down before I could become too embarrassed.

I released all the air I had been holding when I caught sight of him. My hand reached out without my telling it to. He was large, much larger than I ever thought he could be. I wondered idly if this was enhanced as a vampire, or if he had always been so big. I realized he must have been a devastating human. When my hand reached him, I watched fascinated as those muscles tensed as his stomach muscles had earlier. I was aware enough of him, to know he was panting for air, but the way his member moved every time he breathed heavily, kept my attention.

Fascinated, I ran my fingers softly up the length of him. I wasn't afraid of hurting him but I couldn't bring myself to be rough with this part of him. Watching his every muscle tense in response to my touch was arousing. I felt powerful and sexy. When I wrapped my hand around him he moaned deeply. I wondered if my hands were very warm to him and if my mouth would be warmer. I smiled coyly at him before I leaned down to my knees. From my new view I could see even more muscles.

I reached my head up to kiss high on his thigh, as he had done to me once before. His whole leg shook and his head fell back. I wanted to take him in my mouth but I knew that would be too much for him. I decided to take things slow, allow him to acclimate to me before I pursued anything more.

"Tell me if it's too much Edward and I'll stop. But please just let me taste you, I'll go slowly I promise."

He nodded at me, his head still thrown back, and my whole body tensed. I wrapped my hand fully around him and watched the muscles move. I started slow, much slower than my breath. I wanted him to feel comfortable with my hands before I pressed him with my mouth. I picked up the pace infinitesimally and he throbbed in my hand. I took things slowly, just happy to be touching him. I warned him before I leaned in to taste his thighs. He picked his head up to look down at me. The intense look in his eyes caused the wetness to pour from me. I could feel how soaked my panties were. I placed soft kisses, the barest press of my lips, against his thighs. I moved them up by small degrees. When I reached the thick hair that surrounded him I ran my fingers through it.

"Bella, Bella, Bella."

His voice was softly whispering my name, just loud enough for my human ears to hear. My heart raced the closer I got to his erection, my wetness growing as I neared him.

"Now Edward."

I spoke against his pelvis unwilling to move until he acknowledged me. He nodded towards me, clenching his fists as he fought his body. I placed one soft quick kiss on the head of his penis. His whole body shuddered when I pulled away. I wanted so badly to just lick up and down the length of him. I wanted him to scream my name, but I would never do anything to hurt him. I needed to stay in control of my lust and keep things slow and controlled. I breathed out against him and he throbbed again. I looked up at him to gauge his reaction. His head was thrown back, his bronze hair tousled, his chest was heaving, but I could see the pleasure in his face.

I gave him a moment, waiting until he told me I could resume. I watched him like a predator glad to not be the prey for once. When he picked his head back up I wasted no time. I placed soft kisses up and down him. My kisses were quick and heated, spreading to his thighs and his low abdomen. I traced the V of his hips with my tongue while I held his penis in my hands. With each kiss or lick I would pull him towards me. He was making a sound low in his chest and I listened closely to make it out. He was purring, how delicious.

I made my kisses open mouthed as I covered him with my lips again. I moaned against his penis, he tasted better than anything I had ever eaten. I tried to reign in my lust, but taking my time was only teasing me. I made sure Edward was okay and still in control before I reached my tongue out to lick him. His whole body shook. He moved my head away from him until he regained his breathing. He nodded when I could continue and I opened my mouth against his head. I swallowed as much of him as I could, wishing I could swallow all of him, more of him. I sucked on him until my cheeks hurt. He tasted sweet and I loved the feel of his icy hardness.

I rubbed his thighs as I bobbed my head against him, moaning more myself than I made him moan. I moved my hand to the part of him I couldn't swallow and moved my hand with the motion of my mouth. Edward's whole body tensed and I found myself standing pressed against the door.

"Bella."

My name was divine from his lips, his tasty luscious lips. I stared at his mouth longing for a kiss. I didn't recognize the emotions in his eyes, they were new, and I hoped they were good. Edward moved into me pressing me up onto the door, the doorknob protruding into my side. Edward grabbed me by my ass and lifted me again. He rubbed the naked length of himself against my wet pants. I was so soaked I'd probably never be dry again. My head flew back and my back arched, moaning his name. He took that as the invitation it was to spread his lips across my neck, my chest, my face. His lips were everywhere. I reached for him, ready to make him orgasm for me, but found my arms locked behind me.

Edward used my torn shirt to tie my hands behind my back. He was done before I could make out what he was using to bind me with. I looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

"Isabella, you can't seem to keep your hands to yourself. I just thought I'd help you with that."

I stared at him incredulous.

"You mean this is for my benefit?"

He smiled at me, his smile becoming more crooked as my disbelief grew. He leaned down into my neck breathing against it before speaking.

"No this is purely for my benefit, but also for our pleasure."

The way his lips said pleasure caused things inside me to twist. I rubbed against him unable to keep still. He moved me against him and my breath came more uneven with each thrust. I was becoming desperate for release.

"Please Edward please."

He didn't bother to question my pleading he simply ripped my pants from my body. I was wrapped around him wearing only my underwear with his naked erection pressing into me. He held me up by my butt and used his other hand to grab his penis and rub it against me, slowly. I whimpered and shivered, shaking in his arms. He rubbed me that way slowly until I couldn't stop myself from pleading for more.

He moved faster pressing against me in the most sinful way. He licked at my bottom lip and I let him in without question. He rubbed against my clit, sucking on my tongue, and I couldn't hold it in any more. I exploded, moaning his name repeatedly. All my senses were dulled, most of all my ability to think. I came back to myself gradually. When I could feel my limbs again I noticed I was lying on the bed, my arms freed. Edward was whispering my name and covering me in his kisses. I moaned pulling him into me.

The kiss was passionate and heated the moment our lips touched, neither of us pulled away. I found my head was growing dizzy, the room was spinning. At the last possible second before I would pass out Edward pulled away. I gasped, pulling the air into my lungs heavily. I couldn't keep my hands from him. I still needed to be closer.

"I love you so very much Bella, you are my world. I want to give you everything. I want to cover you in kisses and make you feel the love I have for you."

"I love you too Edward, so much that I cannot breathe without you. You are part of my very being. I want you so desperately. I need you. I need to be closer to you."

I pressed my kisses to his skin wherever I could reach; anything to show him how much he meant to me, what he did to me. He captured my face in his hands holding my lips prisoner by his own.

"Bella, I will give you everything but if you don't stop kissing me I won't be able to stop myself from finally claiming you. You cannot know what you do to me, how deeply your siren's call sounds. You call to my body and I can only resist for so long. "

I moaned into his mouth. I loved him so very much. I didn't think I could ever show him how much he means to me. But he was right I needed to regain control of my body, I couldn't keep tempting us both like this. Just one more kiss.

Just another kiss.

Just a few more kisses.

"Bella."

He groaned my name exasperated and pulled his body from mine. I hugged the pillow he had laid on to my chest inhaling his sweet scent.

"Go away."

Edward yelled at the door. I covered my body with his pillow instinctively, unaware of whom was intruding. I watched the door apprehensively, watching Edward grow tenser.

I was moving in the air, the pillow clutched in my arms. I looked up to my captor to find Alice grinning widely. I shook my head, I was doomed.

"I got her Emmett, go go go!

Alice yelled as she ran me to her room. She deposited me on the bed unceremoniously. I looked up to find something to hide against only to find Esme and Rosalie. I was the deepest shade of red, almost turning purple in my mortification. Esme, Edward's mother was in the room while I was still indecent from our recent tryst. I used the pillow to unsuccessfully hide my body. I heard the laughter before I saw Esme's face. She pulled me into her arms hugging me.

I was hyperventilating in my embarrassment, and now I'm near naked hugging his mother. Oh God. Alice handed me a bundle of clothes and pointed me to the bathroom. I ran as quickly as I could manage to the door, escaping the girls for a moment. I looked at the bundle in my hands and sighed deeply. I was in for a long night.


	8. Preparty

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I stared at the pile of clothing in my hands. I had stood frozen for so long that Alice was now impatiently complaining on the other side of the door. I was still debating my options, talk with the family in my bra and panties or put on the silk negligee in my hands. The silk would cover more, but it was much more provocative. I didn't understand why I was dressing in this to talk to them. I took a deep heady sigh before I put it over my underwear.

I stared at the doorknob for a moment gathering courage to face the women on the other side of it. I could hear their snickering from where I stood, but I couldn't make myself move faster. I focused on trying to bring the red in my cheeks down and took careful deliberate steps. The second I had turned the doorknob Alice was on me apprising the outfit she had picked out.

"It'll do."

I squirmed uncomfortable to be wearing it, let alone in front of all of them. What did she mean "it'll do." It will do, for what? I stared her down, trying to force the answer out of her. Alice giggled hysterically at my attempt to look scolding. I shrugged unable to fight against her and followed her back to her bed. Esme and Rosalie were seated on the bed. Esme was sitting perfectly straight with her hands on her lap. Rosalie looked like she was posing for Playboy; spread across the bed, with her golden hair covering the pillows.

I looked down at what I was wearing again and couldn't stop the deep red that spread down my neck. Why do I need to talk to them like this? Why would they make me, plain Bella, dress like this in front of Rosalie? This surely was a level in hell, I was voting heavily for the 7th. I looked up from my careful study of the carpet to see Esme worriedly coming towards me.

"Oh Bella dear don't be embarrassed. I'm sorry we haven't explained ourselves properly at all. We don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, we just wanted to talk."

Esme was so loving. She wrapped me in a hug as she soothed me. My blush lightened slightly but then Alice struck again.

"Plus we thought you might have questions, you know that only vampires could answer."

I was never going to live that moment down. One slip of the tongue and it's an eternity of ridicule. I glared at her, not having to fake my anger. Alice looked at me alarmed to see real anger and started to apologize.

"Bella, I didn't mean anything. I mean, well, I did. But it's just that your bachelorette party will have humans and you can't ask us those questions with them around. I thought we could all spend time together, that way if you don't have any questions, we can still prepare you."

My anger died as quickly as it erupted. Alice really was trying to help, unlike what Emmett would be like in this situation. I froze in shock.

"EMMETT."

Everyone looked at me startled by my outburst. I smacked myself in the forehead realizing that the little pixie worked in tandem with Emmett so she could capture Edward. Emmett couldn't have managed to get to Edward on his own, and Alice needed Edward distracted. My anger flared hot again as I glared down the stupid sprite.

"Do you mind telling me, Alice, what exactly you have Emmett doing to Edward so we can have this little chat?"

Alice hopped from one foot to the other unable to hide her excitement but trying to contain herself before I started destroying her clothes. Alice gasped in shock, bringing her hand to her mouth.

"You wouldn't, Bella."

The tone of her voice said quite clearly "do that and suffer." But I was mightily tempted at the moment. She looked me over as if regarding me for the first time before she sighed dramatically.

"The guys are having a little bonding time, you know their own chat, or whatever, and a hunt or something."

She was purposefully being vague. I stared her down saying with my eyes "tell me what else." She stood staring at me with a curious facial expression, half amused, half apprehensive. Rosalie's huff of impatience jerked me out of the stare down. I had forgotten that there were others in the room. I blushed heavily and slumped onto the bed. Here we go, I thought.

"Why does it matter what the boys are doing, we're here right now."

Rosalie couldn't hide her annoyance. Really, what was new? I wanted her to like me, but sometimes I didn't care if she liked me or not, because sometimes I really didn't like her. I chose to ignore her comment and looked between Alice and Esme, hoping one of them would fix the silence.

"Ugh, fine, I have a question. Why am I wearing this?"

I glared at Alice again waiting for my answer. I jumped slightly from my perch on the bed when I heard Rosalie's laughter. Even her amusement sounded like sex, I shook my head from that thought, I really don't need to compare myself to Rosalie.

"That is a silly question Bella."

That wasn't an answer at all. I sat clearly confused while I looked at her. She huffed again.

"You are so naïve sometimes Bella, is it really possible for someone to be that pure?"

The way she said pure made me feel dirty, like I had committed some sin and wouldn't be able to ever cleanse myself from it. Her cut hurt me deeply and I tried not to let the tears well in my eyes. I looked down, not giving Rosalie the satisfaction of seeing she hurt me. I heard her heavy breath before I heard her voice.

"Bella, I'm sorry. It's just that sometimes you are so oblivious to things. It's hard for me to believe that you really are that pure, that anyone is that pure. But then again you are Edward's angel."

Why when she complimented me, it felt like she was really slapping me? I was quick enough to hide my tears and one fell before I could stop it. I wanted Rosalie to like me, to be accepted by this family but I was near my wit's end with her. She was unduly cruel to me when I had never done anything untoward to her.

"Bella, I didn't mean anything bad."

She sounded panicked, but it was hard to give her any sympathy.

"Yes you did Rose; you always mean something by it. I don't know what I did to you but you don't have to put me down."

She stared at me in horror. I was rather shocked that I had spoken my thoughts aloud. I tried not to let my emotions appear on my face; she didn't need to see my fear or pain. I hung my head to focus on not letting my emotions overwhelm me. I felt two pairs of arms on either side of me and looked up startled. Esme and Alice were hugging me loosely to them. I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes as they held me. They were so wonderful to me, a sister and mother to me.

I gained control over myself and looked up to see Rosalie twisting her hands. She caught my gaze and attempted to speak again.

"Sometimes it's just frustrating how perfect you are. You put everyone else first, you never focus on how you look, or what you want, it's always everyone else. You're completely pure, so much so that you're oblivious to how many men want you. You never use it to your advantage. It's like you're trying to show me everything that's wrong with me."

I stared at her, my face blank. I had nothing I could say to that. I didn't understand what it is that I did. I was simply myself and apparently she had a problem with who I was. I was deeply troubled by that thought.

"You know Rose, not everything is about you. Bella is wonderful, you're the one that see's what's wrong with you and blame it on Bella."

Alice was standing toe to toe with Rose, hands on her hips, and the anger in her voice clear. I stood quickly, I didn't want to get in between them, they are already sisters.

"Alice, it's okay really. You don't have to fight about me, you guys are sisters."

"Bella, you're my sister too, and I'll fight anyone who puts you down."

Alice turned around to face me.

"Bella, I failed you once before. I was your friend and I didn't help you. I left you; I didn't defend you or help you when you needed me most. No, never again. I will make it up to you Bella; you're a sister to me, even if you never marry my brother."

I jumped towards her to hug her.

"You're a sister to me too Alice."

We let go of each other, both with ridiculous grins on our faces.

"That is just my point; you're even a better sister than me."

Rosalie hadn't moved but her face had hardened.

"um, I'm sorry?"

Honestly, what did she expect from me. She was beautiful and perfect and still felt she needed to tear me down. I turned my back to sit on the bed. Rose and I weren't likely to come to any sort of agreement or understanding so why fight about it tonight. Once I settled myself I looked up to see all three vampires staring at me. Rosalie looked pained for a moment.

"um, what?"

"Bella, you just, you, uh. Bella, you just didn't act like any of us would have expected, you've been trying to make friends with Rosalie every chance you get."

I nodded, she was right.

"Yes, well."

I let the sentence hang where it was, I'm sure everyone in the room knew of the strains on my relationship with Rosalie.

"We wanted you to wear lingerie because when we want to block Edward we picture you in it."

"Ouch"

I had moved my head so quickly I pulled a muscle in my neck. I stared at Rosalie, completely incredulous, she couldn't be serious.

"Why?"

"Bella, there, see you're oblivious. Edward can't handle seeing you like that; it makes it harder on him to resist you, therefore he blocks us. It has made surprising him much easier. But it's also revenge. Whenever we get upset with him, we picture you in a provocative outfit, or lingerie, or changing."

The blush that covered my body was immediate and deep. Edward had seen me naked, completely naked. I was horrorstricken. I looked at Alice, praying for a denial, but her sheepish grin only affirmed Rosalie.

"Oh God, he's seen me naked. How long have you guys been doing this? Alice I swear if you used the shower against him, or the shopping trips, I'll never go shopping with you again."

The look on Alice's face sent the horror to full out panic. Not only had he seen me naked, he'd seen me naked, a lot. I dropped my head in my hands. Why didn't he tell me? Why would the family do that to me? The tears that fell were heavy on my heart. I felt slightly betrayed and deeply mortified. I felt Esme's arms surround me.

"Bella, dear, tell me why are you crying? It's okay, I promise. Edward is a perfect gentleman, he probably didn't tell you for fear that you would be embarrassed. He always blocked the thoughts when anything was thought inappropriately of you. He defended your honor every time. He would never do anything to hurt you."

My whole body cringed when I thought of exactly how deeply I'd been hurt by Edward. Esme felt it and she pulled me tighter.

"That was the biggest mistake of all of our lives Bella. We all failed you, but I swear we only meant to make things better for you. Never would we want to cause you pain. You're so giving and caring, and you've been so wonderful to my Edward. I couldn't imagine a better woman to become his wife.

Esme's words cheered me but I still felt the stain of betrayal on my heart. I composed myself and looked up to Alice. She was on her knees, kneeling before where I sat on the bed.

"Bella, I mean it when I say you're my sister. I swear I wasn't trying to hurt you; I'd never try and hurt you. But we've been with Edward so long, and we've never seen this side of him before. It was too easy to fluster him with visions of your futures together. Eventually, I started showing him memories, or certain visions, but only if he was being really stupid. I'm such a horrible sister, please, please, please forgive me."

Alice voice was pleading and panicked, not knowing what I would decide had upset her deeply. Her lips were pouting as she waited. I was surprised she didn't know my answer, but I was thankful for once to be asked. Alice tended to jump the gun, forgetting that not everyone could see the future, or that sometimes we didn't know that we had decided something. I picked my hand up and put it on her cheek tentatively.

"Alice we will be sisters for eternity, I would never throw that away over something so seemingly minor. I'll be honest, I'm hurt, but you're still my sister."

She hugged my shins enthusiastically saying "thank you" repeatedly.

"Can I get some clothes now?"

My tone was hopeful. Alice stopped thanking me to think through her options. I waited patiently for her to decide.

"No, but to be fair we'll all get in lingerie too."

I jumped up from the bed.

"Oh no, please don't do so for me. I'll just change and then we can have this little chat."

They were laughing at me. Okay, so my motives were obvious but still I had to try. I pulled out the big guns, pulling my face into a pout, my eyes wide, and fluttering my eyelashes."

"Please Alice."

"No, but it was a good try. We have to do something bachelorette, so it's wear that lingerie now with us, or with your human friends, do you really want to be scantily dressed around Jessica and Lauren."

"Why would Jessica and Lauren be invited? I don't even like them!" I sputtered.

"Oh silly Bella, it's for fun. They're dying to know more about the wedding, plus it'll be really fun to show them how desperately in love Edward is with you. They're still heavily in denial."

"Um, okay, but um, I still don't want them there."

I needed to compose myself again. Lingerie and high school sluts were easy ways to upset me. I focused on breathing calmly. I closed my eyes to steady my breath and when I opened them I was surrounded by the vamps wearing lingerie. Alice had a flyaway baby doll, it covered as much on her as mine covered on me, but it suited her. Rosalie of course was scantily clad in a red sheer thing. Esme was wearing a silk night gown.

"Enough with the delays, everyone take a seat, we can start with 20 questions. Each of us can ask anyone else in the room a question, but Bella can turn a question around on her asker for free. We're not really playing for a winner, just getting to know your style."

Everyone nodded; no one was willing to test the wrath of the sprite. We situated ourselves around the bed.

"Um, who first?" I asked rather timidly.

"I'll go."

Rosalie pounced on the opportunity.

"Bella, have you ever masturbated."

Introducing the new model; can go from normal to full blush in .2 seconds. I was deeply red, how could she start with such a question? Where all the questions going to be this way? I looked up around at the circle; they all awaited my answer with anxious eyes. I huffed.

"Fine, no."

I didn't need to turn the damn question around on her; I knew very well that she'd probably done it all. Now, what question would I ask? I grinned turning to Alice, I would get her back.

"Alice, are you and Jasper as kinky as Rose and Emmett?"

She stared at me for a moment trying to recollect that I had asked her that question.

"Worse."

It was simple enough and said plenty. Alice grinned widely at me.

"Bella, what do you want to do most to Edward?"

"Ugh, Alice, that's impossible to answer. I want to taste him, have him fill me, make him lose control, be able to attack him whenever I want, to suck…"

I clamped my hand over my mouth, I had said too much. Alice and Rosalie were in a full fit of giggles. Esme tried politely not to laugh. I was so thankful that she wasn't really his mother, only that could make this more embarrassing. Esme caught my stare.

"Don't worry dear, that's all natural. You and Edward will be married and like any married couple you will want to explore your physical relationship. Don't worry about the girls."

Have I said recently that I love Esme? I smiled widely at her and tried to think of who to attack next.

"Esme, you were a newborn and a newlywed, is there any advice you can give me?

My question was pretty vague, but I hoped that Esme would tell me anything she thought important. I was fortunate to have her there for me; she would make things easier when I changed. She smiled gently at me.

"When you're a newborn everything is more intense. You will smell more, see more, and be stronger. You know that we become even more beautiful to get our natural prey but it also attracts a mate for us. You will feel everything more intensely including your physical lust. The blood lust will overwhelm everything else, but if you don't feed all your emotions you'll become unstable as a newborn. It's a difficult time, you have to gain control over everything, not just the blood lust. But we'll all help you dear."

I got up to hug her, thankful for her advice and her explanation. I would make sure to repeat that until it became so ingrained in me that I couldn't possibly forget it in the transformation. Esme smiled while she looked around the room, her eyes settled on Rosalie.

"Rosalie, can you explain to Bella why you tend to be rude or cruel to her."

I jerked my head to Rosalie, intensely curious, although a little stunned that sweet Esme asked that. Rosalie reflected my shock on her perfect face as she stared her mother down. I watched Rosalie's jaw clench, she breathed slowly for a few seconds before she turned the power of her beauty towards me.

"I admit I was jealous at first. Edward is the only man that ever denied me and I couldn't understand why he would want you more than me. I didn't want him, in a way I was happy he finally had someone, but why you? Then as you got closer, the family loved you immediately, in a way they don't love me. Even Emmett, my own husband, was deeply affected by you. You stole Alice, and the whole family talked about sweet innocent Bella. You would bring danger to us and then be completely selfless; making the family sacrifice themselves for you but still wishing they could do more for you. You're everything I'm not; you're sweet, innocent, humble, and so damn forgiving. I would have killed Edward a million times, but you just take him back. You have everything as you are and you're throwing it all away. You can have everything I can't and you don't want it. It's all I ever wanted and you can't even see it as a real option."

Rosalie was standing her anger growing as she explained why she disliked me. I listened intently to her speech looking for the holes to plan my counterattack. When I was sure she was finished I spoke.

"I cannot help my innocence; it is not a badge of honor for me. Until Edward I had never wanted a guy that way. They wanted things from me I wasn't willing to give. I can't help my nature but I won't let others be hurt for me. I won't hurt someone, it's wrong. As for Alice and Emmett they were supportive. Alice gave me hope that I could have my dreams, and Emmett showed me that if Edward ever changed me I would still love him, as Emmett loves you. I never meant to bring danger to any of you and I'm sorry. "

I stood my anger growing as my own rant grew.

"But forgiving Edward is not something I can help. Everyone loves in their own way Rosalie. Edward is my world; I will not throw away everything important to me in a rash decision. I have spent my whole life taking care of everyone else, I didn't have a choice, and I didn't mind. But I am choosing now. I have given my family everything, but I am not going to keep putting my life on hold for them. There is no other choice to me, I would wither and die without him. So your question is really would I rather be happy with Edward in eternity, or dead. What would you chose Rosalie? Just because your dreams aren't mine, doesn't mean I don't have my own dreams."

We stared at each other in silence. I was breathing heavily trying to regain control of my anger. We seemed to be having a silent battle with our eyes; each saying "you're wrong." I wasn't going to cave on this. I don't care how beautiful she is, or how much I wanted her to like me. I wouldn't give up Edward to have her approval. The fire in my eyes grew as our war progressed. I was ready to start into another verbal rant but Rosalie moved her eyes down. She stood perfectly still, I watched perplexed.

The room was bathed in silence and we all watched her waiting for whatever it is that was coming. She looked at me and the intensity of her eyes was painful. Only Rosalie could look even more beautiful when she was that distraught. Her eyes seemed to plead with me to find another way, but my way was set. This was it, either she was my sister or she wasn't. Rosalie couldn't stand on the fence, hoping back and forth, anymore.

"You're right, I'm sorry."

The shock of Rosalie's voice breaking the silence made us all gasp. My anger deflated quickly as I slumped back into my seat.

"Okay."

I said my peace, if Rosalie could be a sister to me, I would definitely be one to her. The only person stopping us from having a relationship has always been her. Alice and Esme let out heavy sighs and I burst into laughter. I couldn't help it the tension in the room was clouding my mind. My laughter was contagious and pretty soon we were all giggling.

"Do you have any questions Bella?"

"No, I don't think so. My head is so full of information lately. Oh wait, Alice why would you write in French and then expect me to read through it."

I attempted to glare but it was a pathetic imitation of any real anger. Alice's giggles ringed through the room.

"I couldn't help myself, I kept seeing visions of you making fun of the English, and so I made it French. It worked until this morning."

She glared darkly at me.

"Well, can you make the stuff you want me to look at in English? Otherwise it'll never get done."

I had a thick notebook in my hands by the time I was done speaking. I flipped through it idly, grateful to understand most of the words. She still had that strange fashion language hidden throughout, but it was still an improvement.

"Oh, Rosalie, will you be one of my bridesmaids. I was waiting until we came to some sort of understanding, I couldn't have you kidnapping me from the wedding."

I used the humor to hide my nervousness. Rosalie took an exaggerated minute to contemplate my question before she nodded smiling brightly at me. I jumped up and hugged her.

"Thank you Rosalie, this means a lot to me."

"It's the least I could do."

We spent the next hour going through the binder while Alice excitedly updated Rosalie on all the things I didn't understand. Esme laughed at the faces I was making in boredom. I fell asleep on one of the French notebooks, waking up in the middle of the night to Edward's sweet laughter.

"Come here my love, angels sleep on clouds."

He lifted me moving me somewhere soft and warm. I felt the icy coolness that signified he was near and even near unconscious my smile spread across my face.


	9. Party

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

"Do you think if I kiss her that will wake her up? It works for Edward."

"Go away, Alice."

My voice was layered with sleep. I was having a delicious dream involving a naked Edward and Alice was bothering me. It was too early in the morning to deal with her.

"Wake up Bella, your mom is downstairs waiting for you. I still need to get you ready, so up, up, up."

"I like the way Edward wakes me up better."

I heard his laughter from the doorway. My eyes opened the instant I located his voice, zeroing in on him. He was chuckling. He always loved to see Alice and me fighting. I tried to glare at him for leaving me to deal with her but the smile smearing my face didn't help my act. I sighed, completely enamored with him. He was so beautiful. It wasn't just the perfection of his marble body, or the beauty of his eyes, or even the unique copper hair. His soul was beautiful and it leaked from him in waves, everything about him was danger and beauty.

I turned so that I was now lying on my back. I shifted around the bed to pull myself up. It always takes me a few moments to orient myself when I first wake. I managed to sit up, groaning the last of my sleep away. Then my brain processed what Alice had said and I jumped from the bed.

"My mom is here, why?"

I was excited. As difficult as my mom could be I really missed her. I loved her and it would be wonderful to spend time with her like I used to. I was jumping slightly due to my growing excitement.

"Silly Bella, you're getting married in two days; of course your mother is here. I thought you would really like to spend time with her. So for breakfast it will just be the two of you, for lunch you can spend time with both your parents and then dinner with all the parents tonight. "

My excitement died instantly.

"But what about Edward?"

She glared at me, daring me to finish my sentence. Stupid mind-reading pixie, that'll show her.

"Edward will see you tonight at dinner."

Alice was tapping her foot impatiently, she hated my human pace.

"Love, I'll be there tonight."

My lips jutted out into a pout. He would be gone tomorrow. I didn't like that my only time with him until the wedding would be at dinner tonight with our parents.

"But you'll be gone tomorrow."

I tried to sound seductive, but what came out was a childlike whine. A girl has gotta try. I watched the smirk on his face grow crooked and large. I could feel my pout melting into a smile and I held stronger to my pout. He pulled me into his glorious arms and attempted to kiss every part of my face. He wasn't fighting fair, so it couldn't be held against me that my face broke into the most ridiculous grin.

"My Bella, I will see you tonight, I will make it up to you. Then the next time that we shall see each other, I will finally be able to claim you as my wife."

A shiver ran down my spine with his words. I could feel my body awakening to his touch. He smiled against my forehead and I sighed into his chest.

"Ahem."

I blushed scarlet. Edward had a tendency to make me forget that anyone or anything else existed. I turned to Alice with an apologetic smile on my face to find her grinning stupidly at me. She liked to tease me but she was truly the most supportive about my relationship with Edward. I honestly believe that she is the only person that understands what we mean to each other.

"Now Edward, I believe your time is up. Go do your guy things and let me steal Bella. I have to get her ready for breakfast."

I tightened my hold on Edward, unwilling to part with him, and even more unwilling to be tortured by Alice.

"But it's breakfast Alice, why do I need to get ready?"

I sounded remarkably like a toddler but the thought didn't bother me, if only it freed me of Alice's evils. I heard the ringing sound of her giggles and sighed in defeat. I turned around slowly with my hands up. I hoped that by coming to my doom willingly, she would partake in a little mercy. She led me to her room, the sound of her giggles bouncing after us.

I blinked in the pink tornado that is Alice's room and sat on the bed, awaiting orders. Alice was excitedly telling me her decisions on the reception centerpieces while she delved further into her closet. I sat amusedly listening to her frantic updates until the smile dropped from my face. Alice was standing 

in front of me, a pile of lace underwear in her hands. She held a Victoria Secret suit and a white button-up shirt to tie it all together. I glared at her while I stumbled to the bathroom. I really hated getting dressed up but it would take so much more effort to fight her. She called after me to tell me which shampoos to use and what order to use the list of conditioners. I sighed dejectedly and closed the door. Locks in this house were useless.

I melted into the warmth of the shower, the steady pressure and heat easing the tension in my back. There had been so much on my mind lately that the stress just mounted. Even though Alice frustrated me, this shower was part of the reason why I put up with it. I would pay in the price of pain after this shower, but now with the water falling around me, I didn't mind.

As I settled myself on my princess throne I watched the dragon approach through narrowed eyes. Though I pouted, Alice only applied a light layer of makeup. She did a lot of twisting to put the perfect curl into my hair, and when she was done it all came together. I felt too done up for breakfast and my concern for what type of breakfast this would be was growing.

"Relax Bella, this is one of the last times your parents will see you, I want them to remember you like this."

That honest thought slammed into me. This would be one of the last days I would ever spend with my parents. I had spent most of my days since accepting the proposal with Edward. I should've at least tried to see Charlie more. But I couldn't seem to pull myself away from Edward. At his house we didn't have to pretend to be apart, there was a certain freedom in that. It also made it easier to bombard me with wedding choices, if I were within reach.

I took a deep breath, opened the bedroom door and stepped into the hallway. I was becoming increasingly worried about what my mother would have to say, but I would give her the opportunity to say whatever she needed to. This was one of our last moments together. I held on to the banister and walked slowly to my mother. I was ready for whatever she wanted.

We handed our menus to the waitress and waited for our drinks. My mother leaned towards me, as if preparing to tell me a secret.

"Bella, I know I haven't been the most supportive about this, and I'm sorry. I wanted to prepare you though. I want to help in whatever way I can."

I tried to think of something my mother could do, but every thought I had about the wedding had already been done. I only heard about the things that were finished or needed my decision to make them finished.

"Mom, I really can't think of anything that you can help with."

I watched fascinated as her laughter rang around the table, her giggles were thicker, almost whiskey like compared to the light song of the Cullen's laughter.

"Bella, I had something specific in mind."

She reached her hand across the table to cover mine as she leaned closer towards me. I was baffled and I'm sure it smothered my face.

"Bella, can I ask dear, have you and Edward ever…"

"NO!"

I had jumped to a stand in my angst to stop her from finishing that sentence. I had already had that talk with both my parents; I didn't want to have it again. I put my hand up in the universal sign of "in the name of all that is good please stop." I could tell she got the point but I had also gotten my stubbornness from her. I was surely doomed. She gestured her hands in the universal sign of "sit your butt down you'll need the support for what I'm about to say." I sighed and sat heavily in my chair. I tapped my toes together whispering under my breath "there's no place like home, there's no place like home."

"Bella, this is serious. As your mother I want to make sure you understand what is expected of you. As a married woman there are certain duties and obligations. Have you talked to Edward about his expectations? Have you two discussed the wedding night or the honeymoon?"

My blush was instantaneous and everywhere, my mother did not just ask me that!

"Mom, what is there to talk about?"

I sounded like a child again, oh well.

"Bella, that's a mistake a lot of young couples make, it's important to know what you both want or expect. You're an adult, you will be his wife, and you can talk to him about what you want."

She was lecturing me about telling Edward exactly how I wanted him. Maybe that included where I wanted him, definitely on the piano. I wonder if he had any exotic places in mind. Is that what she meant?

"Bella, are you listening to me?"

"Oh sorry, I was thinking about what you said.

My mother smiled proudly, obviously glad to have me thinking about her advice. I smiled satisfied that the inquisition was over. She grabbed my hand and I groaned; it wasn't over yet.

"Bella, how far have you and Edward gone?"

I stuttered something about "not gone" while I vigorously shook my head no. I'm guessing she got the message because she erupted in laughter that caused the rest of the restaurant to look at us. I slid deeper in my chair, trying to hide from everyone.

"Bella, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. But I'm sure you have done more with Edward than just kiss, you're both so passionate."

I was stuttering again. I slid a little further down my chair, big mistake; I ended up on the floor with a loud thump. At least no one could really see me, except for my mother, who erupted in more laughter. This had to be the most embarrassing moment of my life; I tried to think of my top ten to place this in its reasonable space. I didn't want to put this moment higher than it deserved just because I was still suffering from it.

"Bella, silly girl, come sit in your chair."

At least my mother was happy. I sighed heavily and sat carefully back into my seat. She regarded me closely, trying to find the answer to her last question in my face.

"Bella, you really waited that long to be physical with him?"

At that moment I wanted nothing more than the floor to swallow me whole. How could she read me so easily? I was sure the deep red of my face would hide everything. I held my head in my hands. She knew; I was sure she'd imagine things were worse than they are.

"He's old-fashioned, wanted to wait till marriage. Now he's changed his mind, and we can't seem to keep our hands away from the other, it's so hard to wait, but we are."

I said all that through my hands, somehow hoping that my hands would buffer the sound from reaching her. She pulled my hands from my face and laid both sets of hands on the table.

"Bella, you're a woman now. You're not just a woman you're a woman in love. I expected to come here to tell you to be careful, not to explain that what you both are feeling is natural. The honeymoon stage doesn't have a certain start or stop. It starts before the wedding and can last as long as you let it. It's perfectly natural to want to be closer to him. I always thought that was the reason that the groom was forbidden from seeing the bride the day before, he might just jump the gun."

My mother's long tirade was broken by the waitress bringing our breakfast. My sigh was a happy one as I dug into my omelet. We ate in silence enjoying our meals. When we finished my mom seemed reluctant to go. The waitress stopped by the table 3 times before my mother stood to leave. When we reached the car my mom pulled me into a hug.

"Hunny, I'm so proud of the woman you have become. I'm going to miss you, but please at least email me. I know you will be blissfully happy with Edward but don't forget about your old mom."

I felt the tears in my eyes stinging my lids. I would miss my mother dearly. She was too perceptive. She knew that this would probably be the last that we would see each other. I pulled her closer to me, trying to memorize the feel and smell of her. I took a moment to label that mom, and I pulled away to take one last long look at her.

"Come on hun; let's get you back to Alice before I am pulled into her workforce for being late with you."

Alice pulled my mother and I into a group hug the second we opened the door. I pulled Alice closer to me reveling in the feeling of having a sister. I was glad that she was coming with me. All I needed in life was Edward, but I knew that without the rest of the family the loss of my own family would be too much to take.

We spent the midmorning sitting around the living room regaling my mother with tales of my clumsy adventures. I realized that the girl I was when I moved here had been irrevocably changed by meeting Edward. I couldn't exist without him anymore, and that had changed something deep within me. My mother listened to my tales with deep laughter, but her eyes had the permanent glass of tears. My mother had realized as I had, that I was no longer just Bella Swan, I had already become Edward's.

Alice continued her stories long after my mother's laughter stopped. We stared at each other having our own form of silent communication. "You've grown so much, I'll miss you, don't forget me." "I'm still your daughter mom, I'll miss you so much, I'll never forget you." The tears in my eyes spilled over and I pulled my mother into another hug. We didn't need to tell each other that this was our goodbye, we both knew, and I was thankful that I was her daughter, no one else would have known. My mother excused herself to freshen up for lunch and I sat unmoving lost in my quiet epiphanies.

At one point my mother had meant more to me than any other person alive. Now I was willing to give her up for someone that meant infinitely more. I had grown and I had moved away from her. I couldn't bring myself to wish it back, because without her I had found myself. I wished my mother happiness and to find it in her heart to let me go. But I couldn't wish to go back. I was happy with the woman I had become, although it had taken a few mistakes to get me there.

My father entered the Cullen's house obviously uncomfortable. I wondered if that was because he was here or because he would be seeing my mother. My mother was known for her stubbornness but my father was almost permanent. When my father loved he loved for life, everything he did was stable and long lasting. He didn't have it in him to change quickly, or to adapt. I realized in that moment that I never stood a chance; I took my parents characteristics to a more cataclysmic degree. I was unmoving and stubborn.

My mother entered the living room with all the nonchalance of being able to adapt and move on. My father looked at her with all the ache still in his heart. I wanted so much for my father but I understood that he'd never be able to love that way again. He may find another kind of love, but he had reserved his deepest for my mother. It was curious to me that he would take the most offense to my forgiving Edward, because of everyone he understood how deeply I could love. My father suffered his lonely torment in silence, keeping treasures of his failed romance as markers. But he couldn't forgive me for trying to make mine work.

I think the greatest crime to a parent is to watch their children repeat their mistakes. My father hadn't made up his mind on whether I was making a mistake; therefore he couldn't quite forgive me for doing it. I knew that he thought highly of Edward and his family, but that wasn't enough to get my father's approval. My father's biggest fear was that one day I would be sitting in an old lonely house with my own treasures of a lost love. This thought kept me from being upset with Charlie, I felt the ache in my heart for him, and couldn't bring myself to make this harder on him.

Another trait I picked up from my father was that I don't like to show my emotions much. In fact my closed mind is probably from that as well. When Charlie and I are together we talk little, and show less. But we both know how the other feels, we just always understood. So my father was completely knocked back by the strength of my hug. I wanted him to know that I loved him, and understood his fears, that I would do what I could to protect him from his own heartaches and mine. He pulled me tighter to him and I wished with all my heart to heal him just a little.

I wanted my father to be happy, but he was like stone, unmoving and permanent. The least I could do was make him more at ease around my mother, whom seemed oblivious to the torment my father suffered over her. I released my hold on my father to tell him silently that I would help him and turned back to my mother. She was watching me with the eyes I inherited from her. At least now she would know how much my father suffered. She nodded slightly to me to ensure that I understood.

I had spent very little time with my parents together, but standing between them I realized how very much of them was with me. I wondered if it was fate that made me so unmoving like stone and as stubborn as rocks. I wondered if it was fate that brought Edward a century before me and made him immortal so that we would meet. Was I made for Edward, so that he wouldn't suffer an eternity alone? Standing between my parents in an immortals house made it difficult not to believe in destiny. I remembered the way I felt when I first saw Edward, and the way that my feelings for him grew even before I knew him. Whether I was made for Edward or not, I was his and would revel in it.

My father coughed uncomfortably.

"Maybe we should get some lunch, I'm famished."

With breakfast my mother had made us drive to Port Angeles because she couldn't stand the thought of taking me to Forks only diner. My father had no such qualms about lunch, and seemed oblivious to my mother's distaste. The waiter, a kid I went to school with, showed us to a booth. My mother sat, looking as if it was the hardest thing she had ever done. My laughter escaped as I took my own seat next to my mother. She glared at me, daring me to make fun of her, and I laughed harder. My father sat confused to why I was laughing.

We sat in uncomfortable silence. My parents obviously didn't want to talk to the other. The little they said to the other was brief and forced.

"Renee, how is Phil recovering?"

"He's doing great Charlie thanks for asking."

The awkwardness made it easy to stifle my laughter. We ordered our food in virtual silence. We waited for our food all of us taking frequent sips of our drink. When the waiter returned with our food he gave my parents theirs while he leaned down low to give me mine.

"You're Bella Swan."

"Um, yes, didn't you go to school with me or something?"

I had seen the kid around but couldn't place him. I guessed that he had dated Lauren or something but still couldn't place the name.

"Oh, I wouldn't expect the great Bella Swan to know me."

His voice sounded angry and alerted my parents to my situation. The waiter still held my food in his hands while he glared down at me. He was too close to my face to be professional, and I could feel waves of anger emanating from him. Apparently I really ticked him off, if he was Lauren's beau that would explain a lot.

"Bella, do you know him?"

My father's gruff voice was instantly authoritative, he had transformed to Police Chief Swan. What little the town knew of my father personally, they all knew that no one messed with Police Chief Swan's daughter. The waiter stood upright with a fake professional smile on his face the moment my father interjected.

"Oh no Chief Swan sir, Bella doesn't know me. I went to school with her but she never noticed me. Here's your food."

I swore that I heard "princess" under his breath, but I didn't understand why he would say that. My father obviously heard it too for he looked ticked. My mother was holding her hands to her mouth and shaking in laughter.

"Bella you didn't tell me you were so admired, he was hitting on you and you didn't get it."

I stared at my mother confused. How was anything he did considered hitting on me?

"How, he was rude?"

My mother's laughter grew loud and uncontrolled. My father glared at her for laughing at me and my heart grew for him. I had been such a bad daughter to him; I had given him several heart attacks with my relationship to Edward. He was a great dad to me and I was very thankful for him in that moment.

"Renee you have no idea how many admirers she has. Last year while she was getting ready with Alice for the prom another guy showed up at the house to pick her up. She has had boys calling the house even when she's not there. Bella is the only one that doesn't know how popular she is. They were taking bets at the reservation to see if Bella would even notice that guys were trying to talk to her."

I stared at my father dumbfounded; how did he know all that? My mother was holding on to the table to stabilize herself in all her laughter. My father's tough scowl lightened at seeing my mother so hysterical and he emitted a few chuckles. I sat with my fork in hand with my jaw hanging low. Both my parents laughed heartily at my expression.

"Bella you always were oblivious to how beautiful you are. We'd go shopping and the boys would look at you and you wouldn't even notice."

I just shook my head. I wasn't sure what world my parents were living in but I certainly wasn't that beautiful. I knew how little I was noticed in Phoenix. There were so many beauties there I was just another body. I shrugged off my giggling parents and focused on eating. I took one bite and another waiter was at our table. He was darker haired than the previous one and obviously around the same age. I knew he went to my school only because where else could he go? He looked at me with puppy eyes and I groaned.

I heard my parent's hysteria growing as the new waiter bumbled over excuses to be at our table. He put salt and pepper on my father's steak, offered my mother every condiment Forks had to offer, and tried to convince me to eat dessert. I took another bite of my food to show that I wasn't done and watched fascinated as his face fell. How could anyone be that upset?

"Hey Bella, I'm John, we had biology together."

I couldn't hide my smile as I thought of biology and the poor kid thought I meant it for him. I realized quickly I needed to clear things up for him.

"Biology was my favorite class it's how I met Edward. I hadn't noticed you in it, did you sit behind me?

He just shook his head at me as he walked dejectedly back to the kitchens. I nearly choked on my food not understanding what I did. I turned to my parents, clearly confused.

"What did I say?"

My parents were holding on to each other in their laughter. Well, at least I gave them something in common. I expected my mother to answer me but she seemed unable to get enough air to form words. So my father, ever the gentleman, stepped up to the plate.

"Bella, I believe that he was trying to get you to notice him. I think for a moment he thought you liked him, and then you told him about Edward and your lack of interest in him in the same moment, pretty harsh dear."

He seemed greatly amused by the waiter's theatrics, not nearly as protective as he was before. I huffed and went back to my food. He was supposed to protect me from this stuff. I ate quickly to speed 

my exit from this ridiculous diner. My mother hardly touched her food because she broke out into laughter every time she picked up her fork. My father ate lightly, occasionally breaking into his own laughter. The second they were done I flagged down one of waiters excitedly asking for the check. To my unfortunate demise, it was the same waiter that had gotten upset with me. When he came to the table he leaned close to me again, as if my gestures for the universal sign of "check please I really want to get out of here" really meant "oh please baby get closer." This kid was delusional.

"So Bella, what are you doing after this, wanna go out with me and a bunch of friends?"

I couldn't seem to make words, my confusion was so profound. How could this nameless imbecile ask me out? It was quite clear that I was Edwards. I looked to my parents with pleading eyes. My mother gathered herself and said quite breathily.

"Oh Bella I just love that ring, wherever did Edward get it, you didn't tell me? He is so amazing, and handsome, and rich."

I thought she was laying it on pretty thick but it seemed to do the job. Nameless moron looked at the rock on my finger, in particularly that finger, and seemed to sicken. He looked ready to vomit. He threw the check on the table and ran to the kitchen without a word to us. I smiled widely at my mother.

"Thank you mom and it was passed down in his family. It's an antique from like 1901 or something. He's been saving it. I won't let him spend money on me so he's been giving me his inherited jewelry, it's really beautiful. I like that his mother wore it too, it makes me feel like she would approve of me."

My mother's smile fell as we stood to leave. She pulled me into a quick hug.

"Bella, silly girl, there isn't anyone who couldn't love you, you're an angel."

I felt the traitor tears spilling from my eyes. Clearly my mother couldn't see but I was so thankful she was here.

We went back to the Cullen's planning on spending the day telling more stories while we waited for Carlisle's shift to finish. Esme joined us in the living room adding her own "Bella tales" to the bunch. She left us around four to make dinner and I excused myself to join her in the kitchen. I had participated in the joking when we first got home. But the longer I was away from Edward the harder it was for me to stay cheery. I was getting incredibly anxious to see him and I knew that Esme would understand.

Esme was an amazing cook, which wasn't fair because she couldn't' even eat it. We bumbled around the kitchen, me clumsily, her gracefully, together making a feast. I wanted Charlie to have lots of leftovers. We talked little but every so often she would tell me he would be there soon. She didn't have to explain who he was, we both knew. I loved that I could be so free with her, and that she understood what I was feeling. At five pm exactly Edward and Carlisle entered the door.

I ran from the kitchen as quick as my traitorous feet could carry me. I tripped on the door mat and flew into Edward's arms. He kissed my head as he squeezed me closer to him, and I couldn't find it within myself to pull away. I heard the dull sound of voices retreating to the living room but remained in the entryway. When I was sure we were alone I covered his face in kisses, muttering "I love you" and "I missed you" against his marble skin.

He pulled me into the living room, I only noticed because of the increase of the dull sounds around me. Usually when Charlie was around we'd sit side by side, we wouldn't cuddle or kiss. The thought of not being close to Edward was too painful. When he sat me down next to him I crawled on to his lap, his smile was breathtaking. He leaned in to kiss my lips lightly and I wanted desperately to make the kiss deeper. I groaned in annoyance when he pulled away and he laughed joyously.

I knew I was being inappropriate, that my parents were probably upset, that I should be spending time with them and paying attention. But I had waited all day to be in this position and it seemed that nothing could get me away from him now. He leaned down, his head resting against my neck, his breath fanning across me gently. I would have swooned if I wasn't already sitting.

I was clueless to how long we sat in that state; I heard the ebb and flow of sounds around us but nothing pulled us away from our embrace. I could only gauge the time by the goose bumps that rose on my skin from his cool touch and breath; or by the movement of his chest as he breathed, my breathing echoing his. I couldn't pretend to know what was going on around us, all that mattered was him.

"My love, Esme just said that dinner is ready."

I groaned against him, I really didn't want to move. He was heaven and to eat dinner I'd have to be away from him. I really hated being human sometimes. I pulled away from his arms slowly. I looked up to find the entire room staring at us. I blushed crimson and the room laughed.

We all went to the dining room to take our seats. Edward pulled my chair out, seating me before he took his own. I looked up to find the room still watching us. I was uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on me. Edward turned my head to look at him and I found myself lost in his gaze. I heard the clatter of silverware against dishes, the clanking of glasses being picked up and put down. The dinner sounds were a cacophony around us but nothing penetrated through our gaze. I was locked on him and everything else faded.

I reached over to kiss him and he met my kiss with his lips. I was blown away with the love I felt for this man. I wanted to kidnap him and run away, never sharing him with anyone. I felt like I would never get enough. I wondered if this is what my mother meant by the honeymoon phase. He placed his hand tenderly on my cheek, brushing his fingers softly across the breadth of my face. I sighed leaning closer into his touch.

"I love you Edward."

My voice was soft and low, just barely enough for Edward and all the vampires to hear. He smiled beautifully and picked my hand up to bring to his mouth. He kissed my wrist letting his lips linger against my skin. I sighed and leaned my head against him. My eyes closed involuntarily and I happily succumbed to his presence. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him, placing me on his lap. I kissed his neck and leaned against him.

"Promise me we'll always be like this."

I couldn't stop myself from voicing the thought.

"Always Bella, I will always love you. I promise to make you happy, to give you everything."

He punctuated each word with a kiss to my head, face, neck, wherever his lips could reach. I loved him so much I could feel my heart swelling. If this was what eternity was like, I would surely die from happiness. Was it possible to love someone so much, to remain happy for so long? I glanced up to look at Esme and Carlisle, they had it, and we could one day be like them. Esme caught my gaze and smiled warmly at me. She had been talking to my mother and they both looked at me. My mother had tears in her eyes and I didn't understand why.

Edward kissed my temple and my eyes closed. I let my air out in a breathy exhalation. My whole body felt fuller with Edward, like we had grown so close he was now inside me, or a part of me. I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled deeper into him. I had no intention of leaving the comfort of his arms.

"My love, you haven't eaten any food."

"I'm not hungry; I'm happy right where I am."

He chuckled, the vibration coursing through me.

"Your mother thinks you should eat."

"Hmm, does she?"

"Yes, and Esme thinks it isn't healthy for you to skip dinner."

"I'm full."

"Carlisle thinks you should at least take a few bites."

I giggled amused by his little game.

"Oh and what does my father think?"

"Well, he certainly feels that you should sit and eat your dinner, preferably on a chair."

I giggled, hiding my face in his chest while my laughter rocked through me. He was absolutely adorable. He chuckled with me and our laughter mixed, reverberating around the room. He pulled my face up to place a chaste kiss on my lips. I pulled away from him, before I could take the kiss deeper, and noticed we had everyone's attention. I blushed crimson and hid my face in Edward; I could feel the laughter moving through his body.

"Bella, silly girl you can look at us, and eat your dinner."

My mom said as she watched us closely.

I giggled into Edward still hiding my face. He pulled my head up by my chin, his fingers a light touch against my skin.

"Bella love, please never hide your face from me."

I heard the "ahh" that circled the room and blushed a deeper shade. He was the sweetest thing ever, but he didn't have to say that in front of them.

"Eat my love."

He cut off a piece of chicken from his plate and fed it to me. Esme really was the greatest cook, the food was delicious, I moaned softly. I felt Edward stiffen under me. He gave me another bite and leaned in to whisper to me.

"Bella please don't moan; I won't be held accountable for my actions if you tempt me so."

I giggled against him but withheld my pleasure from forming. I was probably already bothering my father, I'm sure he didn't need to see how much Edward enjoyed my moans. I ate my dinner in that fashion, on Edward's lap as he fed me. When everyone finished we all went back to the living room. I truly meant to pay attention that time but Edward trapped me in his gaze. I didn't realize that my parents had left, or that Esme and Carlisle had gone. I didn't realize that anything was happening until I felt myself being forcefully moved from Edward's embrace.

I looked up to find myself in the arms of Alice. She was obviously excited about something, which didn't bode well for me.

"Edward?"

My voice was a question, pleading for him to explain what was happening to me.

"Bella, my love, it's time for the parties. I must be going, I need to hunt to be ready for you."

I felt the tears growing in my eyes. I didn't want him to leave, I had spent so little time with him.

"Don't leave yet."

I was begging at this point, anything to keep him with me. He pulled me into his embrace and whispered against my neck, causing shivers to spread through my body.

"I promise I will come back tonight to save you from the girls and give you a proper goodbye. But in order to get in a good hunt I must leave before the morning."

I felt this was a fair compromise, and a great backup plan to save me from tonight, I nodded against him. He kissed me deeply for a moment, telling me without words that he loved me. We were forced apart before either of us could deepen our kiss. I found myself in Alice's room, thrown unceremoniously on the bed. I hmphed but allowed her to disappear into her closet without complaining.

I walked to my throne while I awaited my wardrobe change. I giggled at the thought. Alice entered the bathroom, amused to find me already sitting in the chair, or maybe to see me laughing at nothing. She gave me a beautiful nude colored dress and baby blue underwear. The bra was lacey and nearly see-through, perking my breasts up to give me cleavage. The panties were a thong that left little to the imagination. I was uncomfortable wearing such little panties in a short dress. Before I could argue or voice a complaint Alice was glaring at me. I sighed in defeat and started undressing. Alice watched me closely and I blushed as I realized what she was doing.

"Alice, why are you watching me?"

She looked embarrassed for a moment but answered me quickly and honestly.

"Edward won't see you until the wedding, so I'm going to tempt him tonight before he leaves. You two need to talk about a few things and I saw that you both will put it off unless I tempt him with a mental picture. You standing there in that piece is enough to drive him to do anything. Plus I really just want to get Jessica and Lauren back for the way they treated you, no one treats my sister that way."

I followed along with what she said but didn't quite understand how anything was related. What did Edward seeing me like this have to do with Jess and Lauren? I shook my head; I wasn't going to figure Alice out, maybe in a century. I put on the nude colored dress and turned back to Alice. I blushed because of the way she was looking at me. It was creepy how little this family kept from each other.

"Oh please Bella, you're going to thank me later."

I walked out of her room to find Rosalie in a short red dress. I wondered if she wore any other color, I could never wear red it screamed "look at me."

"You look beautiful as always Rose."

She smiled at me, but didn't mention my compliment; she knew how beautiful she was. I understood more and more why Edward was never attracted to her. Alice ran out of the bathroom like a vision. She was absolutely gorgeous; she was wearing a pink sheer dress that was similar to mine. Her personality shone through the simple dress making her stand out even more. I was self-conscious to be standing next to her; I'd rather stand by Rose.

"Ooh they're here, let the fun begin."

I followed the unearthly beauties down the stairs, taking three times as long as them to get to the bottom. When I reached the landing I saw Angela standing just inside the door. Most humans shied away from the Cullens, Angela was the only one who tried to be friendly with them. Jess and Lauren were huddled still outside. When the girls saw me they all ran towards me.

Lauren and I had never gotten along, and Jess and I hadn't been friends for months but both girls ran to me like we were long lost best friends. I rolled my eyes but put a fake smile on my face. Both Angela and Alice were stifling their giggles, while Rose seemed unconcerned about anything other than her reflection. Lauren and Jess were both dressed in leather miniskirts. Lauren wore a red tube top and red heels, while Jess wore a black halter top and black heels. I stifled more giggles because it was too easy to picture them as hookers. Angela was wearing a light orange sun dress that looked gorgeous with her skin. I smiled at her, glad that she looked so beautiful compared to the sluts trying to hug me.

We moved to the living room, I stopped in my tracks as I saw it. At some point Alice had turned the living room into a Bride's vomit. There was pink and white everywhere, confetti and banners, streamers and balloons. I realized that instead of the room, she could've done me up that way, so I swallowed my complaint and entered the room. Alice had turned one of the couches into a throne and I giggled. I sat in my other throne and waited for my direction.

Alice put on music and everyone got comfortable. Esme brought in snacks and drinks before she left to have a date with Carlisle. I wanted to be like them, I hoped that when I have been married for a century I'm still just as in love. I realized that all the Cullens were as in love as they were when they married and my heart swelled. I would be happy.

When everyone was comfortable I looked to Alice, asking silently "what now." She giggled before she jumped up exclaiming "Time for presents."

"Presents, why?"

Everyone laughed at me; apparently I'm the only one that didn't expect presents. Alice handed me a red gift that I guessed was from Rose and I opened in apprehensively. Inside was a tube of KY warming liquid, a movie by Nina Hartley how to give oral sex, and a book called Blow him away. I blushed crimson; I stuttered my thanks and quickly hid the gifts behind my back.

I was handed a gift from Jessica next. It was a light blue colored and I apprehensively opened it. I opened up a package; it was like a large lipstick. I turned it over in my hands confused about why anyone would buy me lipstick. I turned it to see the color and it started vibrating, I dropped it into my lap like it was on fire. The girls were laughing hysterically; apparently they all understood what it was. I frantically tried to turn it off while touching it the least amount as possible. Rose laughed haughtily at me, while she picked it up daintily, making it look like sex. She smiled at me while she leaned lower to show her amble chest.

"This Bella is a vibrator; it's great for all those times when you need to get your frustrations out."

She turned it simply and the thing stopped buzzing, I stared at it in horror. I stuttered about frustrations or something and turned a deep shade of red. The room was laughing hysterically at me. Jess offered to get me a drink and I took the opportunity to step outside the living room to breathe. I walked outside letting the night's chill envelope me. Sometimes when Edward was away I would pretend the chill air dancing across my skin was his breath. It would ease my heartache at being away from him. I closed my eyes and breathed the air in, so that even in my imagination I would be taking him in as much as I could. With a new determination I turned around and headed back to the living room.

I found the girls huddled together gossiping, they stopped guiltily when I entered the room.

"What?"

I was on edge, I didn't like that they were talking about me, or the possibilities of what they were discussing.

"Nothing silly Bella, here sit down and we'll commence with the gift giving. Oh dear you didn't finish opening Jessica's."

I sighed heavily and slumped back into my chair. I opened the rest of the package to find a plethora of batteries and a bunch of containers that read "toy cleaner." I stuffed them all in the box and slid the box to my feet while I politely thanked Jess.

"I thought I'd get you something small for traveling, you know for on your honeymoon."

Jess was shifting uncomfortably, I was sure the idea of Edward and I having sex was distressing to her. Lauren didn't allow Alice to hold her gift; she strutted to me proudly laying her gift on my lap. Of all the gifts, I knew that whatever this was, it was meant to frighten me. I decided that I would stop allowing them to embarrass me, that is obviously what they wanted. They wanted to show me how inexperienced I was, how poor of a lover I would be for Edward.

I narrowed my eyes at the gift and pulled the ribbon from the wrapping. I ripped the paper with trembling fingers, but I stayed firm, I didn't let my fears show. I knew the moment I saw it what it was. I didn't know its features or name, but I knew what effect she expected to have on me. I picked it up as Rose had picked up the lipstick one. This vibrator was pearlescent and huge. It read Rabbit, Pearl on the side of the packaging. It was nowhere near Edward's size but it was much bigger than the lipstick one. I smiled wickedly and decided to play with Lauren.

"It's not close to Edward's size, but I'm sure it'll do if he's not around to satisfy me."

Alice was in hysterics, she had been for a while. I realized she had seen everything play out and wanted to play her part because she quickly jumped to my aid.

"Bella, I am positive that Edward plans on being there to help satisfy whatever you need, or whenever. I think he might be upset to find that you have a backup plan. I heard him making honeymoon plans and they sounded very naughty."

Lauren was shaking, trying to control her anger. She glared at me, pasting a fake smile to her face before she spoke.

"There's more there, go ahead and look Bella."

I looked into the box imagining the worst toys possible but found another DVD. It was all blondes, barely clothed; it was wall to wall sex. This was obviously her idea for a gift for Edward, I giggled because I remembered him telling me he preferred brunettes. I looked further into the box to find a collection of oils, powders, and lubricants. I thanked Lauren as I stuffed everything back in the box.

Angela's gift was a set of La Perla lingerie. It was very classy, from their bridal collection and I couldn't hide my beaming smile as I thanked her. I noticed most of the room glaring at Angela. I got up to hug her, hoping to take away some of the glares. I couldn't wait to wear that lingerie for Edward. Alice was excited to finally have her turn. She jumped excitedly over to me but didn't bring a present. I stared at her in confusion, when did Alice ever skip an opportunity to give me presents?

"Bella, I have tons of gifts for you some you'll get tonight, but your first is about to walk in."

I held my breath as the three most beautiful women I had ever seen walked in. I was hurt slightly that Alice thought I would enjoy seeing Tanya, the woman that could have been Edward's mate. She smiled beautifully at me, but I couldn't feel comfortable. I took in her sisters briefly, enough to know that they were beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes away from Tanya, she was my competition and I needed to study her. She had fair strawberry blond hair; it was long and danced across her low back. She walked sexually, a predator looking for meat.

I smiled, rather tight lipped and welcomed her to my little party. Rose was already talking excitedly with them. Alice introduced the Denali clan to the humans and I could see the apprehension on Jess and Laurens face. The Denali's settled themselves on to the floor, looking as if it was the most comfortable seat in the house. Tanya spoke on behalf of all of them.

"It's great to finally meet the great Bella Swan, the woman that stole Edward from us all."

Jess and Lauren sat straighter, just realizing there was bad blood between Tanya and I. Rose and Angela looked worried, whereas Alice was grinning widely. Obviously things were going to her plan. I slackened my tight shoulders slightly as I realized Alice was looking out for me.

"We brought a few gifts for you Bella, we hear you're quite the innocent, and we would hate for any lover of Edward's to be inexperienced."

I could hear the undercurrent under her words, saying quite clearly that she thought she'd be a better lover for him. I smirked at her and the room gasped collectively. I looked around the room, questioning what got that reaction from everyone. Rose decided to tell me.

"Bella, we're just surprised you didn't blush, you actually looked like quite the seductress for a minute."

I grinned at her, unable to hide my elation.

"Edward has had no difficulty finding pleasure from anything I have done to him."

I said this looking directly at Tanya. She smiled back at me and we seemed to be having a silent battle. I heard the room around us, the sound of the couch cushions rising and falling, shoes scuffing the floor impatiently, the quiet coughs, and the multiple ahems from the girls around the room. Tanya looked away first and I felt quite proud of myself.

"Okay Bella, your first lesson is confidence. You must walk into the room like you own it. You know what you want and you have him. Make Edward see what you want from him in your every move. Let your hips say touch me, and make your curves call to him. He will react before he can tell himself not to. Edward is just as inexperienced, although quite the gentleman, so you have to take the gentle out of him."

Jess and Lauren looked at Tanya with wide open mouths. I looked between them trying to discern what had them so dumbfounded.

"Edward is really, you know, innocent?"

"Yeah, we always thought he had some model girlfriend far away that he saw on holiday or something. We figured when you walked in you were the other woman, especially with the way you and Bella have been staring the other down."

Jess was discreet but Lauren was out for blood. Tanya narrowed her eyes at Lauren, ending her tirade on Edward.

"No, I offered myself to Edward, many times, but he turned me down."

"He turned us down too."

Her sisters spoke after her and the silence in the room was deafening.

"Before Emmett was adopted I hit on Edward, Carlisle thought we'd be great together, but Edward didn't like me that way."

Everyone stared at me as Rose finished speaking. For once her beautiful face seemed contemplative. Everyone else was scrutinizing my every feature, breaking me down to figure out, "why her?" I shifted in my chair, looking intensely at my flats.

"Bella is the only woman that Edward has ever wanted, they're truly perfect together."

I looked up to meet Alice's eyes, thankful that she would stand up for me. I didn't bother to look at anyone else for fear of what their eyes would tell me. Alice ran to turn up the music and the room shifted as one. Tanya gathered herself to continue her lessons.

"I'm going to show you how to move, especially how to dance. My first gift to you is teaching you how to give a lap dance. Most girls come on too strong, a dance is sensual. Start off slow, use your natural innocence to your advantage. As the tempo grows make your movements more obvious, but don't do anything like dry hump him. You want him to think of doing naughty things to you, but to also behave. If you go too quickly he'll simply take you. It's all in the dance of temptation."

She said the last with deeper meanings, like the temptation of my blood. I shrugged off her concerns and watched her stand. Even as a vampire I would never have that much grace. But she was in the business of getting men. She swayed to the music; her hips were slowly rotating, giving the briefest glimpse of sex. I understood what she meant as I watched her move. I doubted I could ever move like that.

Jess handed me the drink she had gotten me earlier and I sipped at it to keep myself occupied. Watching Tanya sway was having a serious affect on my self-esteem. I was starting to evaluate my ability to please him and that wasn't good. She walked over to me and held out her hand, I didn't like where this was going. I downed my fruity tasting coke and stood up, taking her cold hand. She brought us to the center of the living room and placed her hands delicately on my hips. She used her hands to show my hips how to move. Tanya watched my every nuance, taking me in as much as I was taking her. She leaned in to whisper to me.

"He has never wanted any other woman, stop doubting yourself."

I stopped moving, my whole body tensed at her words. I stared at her. She moved my hips again, slowly getting me to return to dancing.

"I came here expecting to make you jealous; I didn't realize how much of that would turn on me. You're an innocent little girl. But you're Edward's and I could never compete because you are all he has ever wanted. The least I can do is give him more fun. We are all living vicariously through you, we've all wanted to take his breath away and make him pant our names."

I nodded at her dumbly, unable to form a reply. She grabbed my hands, while my hips continued to sway. She moved our hands slowly above my head.

"Keep your hands there loosely. Now I'm going to move away, close your eyes and keep dancing."

I did as I was told. I felt warmer when she moved away, the chill of her body no longer affecting mine. I listened to the music almost hearing the sway of drums to the sway of my hips. It was easy to keep going once she showed me how. The music ended and I opened my eyes to find the room watching me. The humans had parted mouths, and Rose looked at me as if it was the first time she was seeing me. Tanya looked proud and walked up to me. She grabbed the hands still resting on my head and pulled me towards the rest of the girls.

"She's quite the seductress."

"Because she's clueless to what she's doing."

"She has no idea what affect she has on Edward."

"She didn't even know he was constantly getting an erection around her until recently."

The Denali's and the Cullen's were speaking about me as if I weren't there. I looked at each woman as she spoke, my head bouncing like I was watching tennis. The humans took longer to recover; Angela lightly fanned herself while Jess and Lauren mumbled something about the bathroom. I sat by Angela while everyone else talked, unwilling to join that conversation.

"Bella you were amazing, Edward doesn't stand a chance."

I looked at her in concern she seemed uncomfortable.

"Are you okay Angela?"

She blushed and I was almost shocked. No one but me every managed to blush.

"Bella, for a moment I liked it a little too much. I imagine that's why Lauren and Jess ran away; they're more likely to jump you."

This time my mouth was slack with my shock. I heard the ringing laughter of all the vampires and turned to them. They were all laughing at the look on my face.

"Please tell me that is not the first time she realized that women like her too?"

Tanya was laughing through her question, I stared at her, how could they, what? Alice was giggling hysterically.

"There's a club of Lesbos at school that have a Bella shrine, she is completely oblivious."

I spluttered.

"Who, what, when?"

I was standing by then, completely upset with the way this conversation had gone.

"She's not even safe when she goes out with her parents, two waiters hit on her at lunch with her mom and dad today. She didn't even know they were hitting on her until her dad said something."

Alice was holding on to Tanya for support in her laughter, both girls hysterical about how oblivious I am. I glared at them. Rose seemed angry, and I didn't understand what was wrong.

"The entire high school stares at her like she's the unearthly beauty. It's really frustrating; they only ever notice me when I wear low cut shirts."

If I thought I was shocked before it was nothing to the sound of Rose whining about how much attention I get. I shook my head at them and jumped when I heard the voice behind me.

"That's why she's the great Bella Swan, too beautiful and amazing to notice everyone else."

Alice stopped laughing immediately and the room followed shortly after. Lauren was standing with her hands on her hips, her anger quite evident. Alice stood emulating Lauren's stance, and I stood in between them.

"Just because Bella is beautiful doesn't mean she's vain like you. Bella doesn't know how beautiful she is, she still thinks she doesn't deserve Edward, but I haven't met a woman that deserves him more."

"Now girls calm down, let's all sit and have a drink."

Tanya was standing now as well trying to bring calm to everyone. Lauren backed down from the vamps and sat haughtily back on the couch. Rose handed me another coke and I sipped at it greedily. The Denali sister's danced to the music and I watched them all wondering what was next. Alice ran over to me clapping excitedly.

"Okay everyone, let's play have you ever."

Everyone understood immediately and I looked at Alice confused.

"How do you play Alice?"

"Silly Bella, we all take a drink, an alcoholic drink. Then we each take a turn saying have you ever done, if you have done whatever it is they say then you take a drink. But I think in honor of Bella, we will have those that haven't done something drink. So chose your questions wisely."

I groaned I already saw where this was heading. I was handed a tall shot glass and I glared at it sullenly, this would not go well. Alice happily started.

"I have never given a blow job."

Everyone turned to look around to see who was drinking. We all laughed when we noticed that no one drank, which meant.

"OMG Bella you didn't."

I blushed crimson.

"Thanks Jess, really. I have."

The whole room stared at me and I blushed deeper.

"Well, how good were you?"

Tanya obviously had to know, I didn't really know how I was suppose to compare. I looked to Alice with pleading eyes.

"Tanya, she was so good Edward couldn't go near her for hours afterwards."

Everyone looked at me like I grew another head, I shrugged. Tanya smirked at me and went next.

"I have never masturbated."

I sighed and took a drink. I was the only one and I blushed again.

"You've never masturbated, seriously Bella? You've been with Edward two years, how can you handle the stop and go?"

Rose seemed genuinely curious so I tried to push past my embarrassment to answer her.

"I never really wanted anyone before Edward. Since I want Edward only he can really make that frustration easier to deal with. Plus I didn't really know what to do."

Alice ran over to hug me; my drink would've spilled if I hadn't taken a shot.

"Oh Bella, I'm the worst sister I should've told you."

"It's okay Alice, its better now."

I heard the choke of air reverberate around the room, everyone looked at me again.

"I mean uh, um, shit."

Everyone broke into laughter at the same time and I smiled uncomfortably. Angela was next in line, and I knew she'd go easy on me.

"I have never pictured Edward naked."

I stared at her, if that's what being on my side was... Only Alice took a drink, and I was again reminded of how many women wanted Edward. Jess grinned at me before taking her turn.

"I have never kissed one guy while fantasizing about another."

Alice, Rose, and I were the only ones to drink. I didn't want to know what the other girls were fantasizing about. Lauren went next, grinning malevolently at me.

"I have never done anything sexual in public."

I didn't take a drink and I could hear the shock around the room. I blushed but held firm, I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly.

"What? Edward went down on me in a restaurant."

I think Jessica swooned because she slumped on to the couch. Lauren stood completely astounded whereas the vamps were clearly startled.

"Edward Cullen, gave you oral sex in a restaurant?"

Tanya was staring at my other head again. I grinned at her, just remembering made shivers run down my spine. I sighed heavily and answered.

"Oh yes it was amazing."

Kate, one of the Denali sisters, regarded me for a moment before she took her turn.

"I have never tried to seduce a man."

Again I didn't take a drink; the whole room watched me fascinated.

"I tried to seduce him tons of times, but he always said no."

Jess and Lauren grinned happily at my admission. I was egged on by it and couldn't stop myself.

"Now he won't keep his hands to himself and I constantly have to say no."

Only Alice knew that I wasn't capable of saying no, but my words had their intended effect. Jess and Lauren went back to glaring while Alice smiled happily at me. Irina went next.

"I have never had anal sex."

I took a drink finishing off my shot glass. I was the only one. Rose laughingly took my empty shot glass and filled it up again. Everything seemed happier, the colors brighter, or maybe fuzzier, I wasn't quite sure. I was swaying slightly, but I couldn't stop smiling. It was Rose's turn and I watched her through slightly narrowed eyes.

"I have never wanted another woman sexually."

I took a swig of my drink and looked up to watch the room watching me. I shifted uncomfortably realizing that they all hadn't taken a drink. I shrugged again happy to be over with that game.

"Why don't I show you how to use your toys Bella?"

I didn't like the way Tanya sounded; it was like I was missing something.

"What toys?"

I knew that voice anywhere, I ran to him throwing my body into his and chanting his name over and over.

"My Bella, a rescue as promised."

I kissed him wherever I could reach; it felt like it had been forever since I had seen him. I looked up and realized we were still in the room. Most of the looks were heated with anger but I ignored them. Alice winked at me, and I felt Edward's body stiffen. He leaned into my body resting his head in the crevice of my neck.

"Bella."

His voice was husky; in a way I only heard when we were alone. I felt my body responding to him, pooling for him. He placed his cold lips on my neck repeatedly kissing me. He used his hands to pick me up, forcing my legs to wrap around his waist.

"Edward."

My voice sounded deeper and pleading. I needed him, needed to be closer. He pulled away from my neck to kiss me deeply. He ran his hands along the outside of my thigh and I shivered. I could feel his erection pressing against me and couldn't stop myself from adjusting my body. He moaned into my mouth allowing me to eat his pleasure.

"Goodnight everyone, I'm taking Bella now."

I turned to say goodbye to the room and found them all watching us with varying degrees of interest. Jess and Angela were both fanning themselves, while Lauren stood fuming. The Denali's were clearly fascinated to see this side of Edward. I looked back at my love and forgot all else but his eyes

--Pictures in my profile.


	10. Proper Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

_I knew that voice anywhere; I ran to him throwing my body into his and chanted his name over and over._

"_My Bella, a rescue as promised."_

_I kissed him wherever I could reach; it felt like it had been forever since I had seen him. I looked up and realized we were still in the room. Most of the looks were heated with anger but I ignored them. Alice winked at me and I felt Edward's body stiffen. He leaned into my body resting his head in the crevice of my neck._

"_Bella."_

_His voice was husky; in a way I only heard when we were alone. I felt my body responding to him, pooling for him. He placed his cold lips on my neck repeatedly kissing me. He used his hands to pick me up, forcing my legs to wrap around his waist._

"_Edward."_

_My voice sounded deeper and pleading. I needed him, needed to be closer. He pulled away from my neck to kiss me deeply. He ran his hands along the outside of my thigh and I shivered. I could feel his erection pressing against me and couldn't stop myself from adjusting my body. He moaned into my mouth allowing me to eat his pleasure._

"_Goodnight everyone, I'm taking Bella now."_

Edward carried me to his room moving as swiftly as his vampire speed allowed him. I heard his bedroom door shut and I felt the softness of the mattress under me. Edward laid me on the bed, his body weightless over me. I pulled his lips into a deep kiss pushing my lust for him into it. My lungs started to burn and my body yearned for air. Edward pulled away from my lips to kiss my neck. His lips left fires across my skin. I arched my body closer to him, unable to stop my body from reacting to his every nuance.

"Moan my name Bella."

I felt the pooling between my legs, the ache building deeper within me. He ran his hands up and down my legs, uninhibited by clothing due to my dress. He kissed along the nude straps of the dress as his fingers found the thin straps tying my panties. He ran his fingers across the lines of my underwear causing my body to jump and shiver. My skin was hot and his cool touch went deep into me, making it harder to keep control of my body. I tilted my pelvis to his hands regardless of where he moved them.

He brought his lips back to mine and I didn't waste a second. I ran my fingers through his silky hair to bring him closer to me. I parted my lips for him and he immediately licked at my tongue. The mixture of cold and warmth sent pleasure throughout my body, my moans grew and Edward swallowed them whole. My body rocked into his, trying to force our bodies closer. I ran my fingers through his hair and down his neck to pull him closer. I could never get enough of him.

"Bella, I said moan my name."

He pulled away from my lips to talk and placed his cool lips on my collarbone the second he finished speaking. He kissed from one shoulder to the other and used his other hand to rub my inner thigh. He gently rubbed fire into my blood. I moaned softly still fighting for control over my body. His hand tightened on my thigh and his lips pressed harder into my skin, I moaned deeply, his name forcing its way through my lips. I felt him smile against my skin.

"Bella, that wasn't loud enough, they can hardly hear you."

My body froze. I thought that Edward had wanted me to moan for his pleasure. Whom did he want to hear us? I tried to speak my questions, but all that came from my mouth was his name. He had moved his hand to rub against my core, teasingly slow.

"Bella, if you're not a good little girl, I'll be forced to make you scream my name."

I was frustrated; I wanted to argue with him. Why would he want anyone to hear us, and who? But the delicious friction he created kept me from holding on to thoughts. Every thought I formed slipped through my fingers like liquid. My moans were soft sounds emanating from the back of my throat, and I was unable to stop them.

"Edward please?"

Usually when I begged it was for more, but for once I wanted him to stop just long enough for me to think.

"Edward please, I can't think when you do that."

He smiled against my cleavage and his cool breath caused goose bumps to form. My nipples hardened and my breasts cried for his attention. He kissed the center of my cleavage. Then he licked from the bottom of my dress top, up and around my breasts. My body shook with pleasure. I held onto his arms with a vice grip. He quickened the pace of his hand on my core and I shuddered, trying desperately not to lose control.

"Oh.God.Edward."

My voice was louder, less inhibited by thoughts of an audience. I wasn't quite sure why I had wanted to stop, but I only wanted to be closer to him now. I spread my legs, forcing one of his legs now between mine. I pushed my pelvis up and forward, pressing against the hardness of his thigh. I rubbed against him and we both moaned.

"Moan my name Bella."

"Moan my name first Edward."

He completely froze staring at me with complete surprise. I smiled wickedly at him. Now things were a little more even; he had no right to rock my world so completely and not follow me on the journey. I pulled my hand away from the bulging muscles of his arm to rub against his erection. He was still frozen and I took advantage to squeeze his erection as hard as I could. He closed his eyes while a deep delicious moan escaped his mouth.

I extended my neck to reach his, licking from the base of his neck to his ear. When I reached his ear I bit him roughly, blowing warm air across his cool skin. He shuddered against me.

"Bella please, I can't."

I smiled widely, I had made him moan my name, and quite loudly. I frowned as my slow thoughts caught up with his words, can't?

"Can't what Edward?"

He pulled away from my reach.

"No Bella, I'm in charge. Let me have what I want, and I'll let you."

I was a little confused about what exactly we were bartering. Somehow this had become a battle over control. I realized that this had happened more and more the closer we got. My smile grew wicked as I thought of how easy I would garner control when I turned. Edward grinned widely thinking he had won. I sat up, bringing my body closer to his. I ran my fingers lightly over his erection as I spoke.

"And what exactly do you want Mr. Cullen and how much do you think you'll let me have?"

I squeezed the tip of his hardness and spoke again.

"Because I assure you I'll never have enough of you."

He pounced on my lips, taking the breath right out of me. The kiss was deep and my moans filled the silence.

"Bella, I want to taste you. I will never have enough of you, but right now I need to taste your divine juices again. I will give you something you want in return, is that clearer for you?"

His unnecessary breath was panting and his words came out less smoothly than normal. He pressed his lips all over my skin causing fires to spread all over me.

"Edward."

His name was a song to my lips. He captured my lips with his before I could finish his name and I moaned into his mouth. He kissed me long and hard before he pulled away. We were both panting for air. He pulled his body away and moved lower on my body. His head hovered over my pelvis and I was tingling with anticipation. He started his kisses on my thigh and ran his lips up the natural swell of my leg meeting my pelvis.

When his lips met the tie of my panties he pulled them apart with his teeth. The view was breath-taking and I moaned. His mouth created the most delicious pleasure in me, but his teeth always sent me soaring. He pulled my underwear down my legs by his teeth. My legs trembled and my core throbbed for him. I felt empty without him, as if only he could fill me. I pleaded softly for him.

"Oh please Edward, please."

He kissed his way back up my legs slowly. He was teasing me on purpose; I would get him back for that. When he reached my center he licked from my inner thighs to my entrance, cleaning all the juices that had spilled for him. He didn't go slowly or tease me; he lapped at me like he was a man dying of thirst. This was no longer about what I wanted but what he wanted to do to me. That thought thrilled me pooling more of me for him.

He pressed his tongue inside me and I leaked for him. I moaned his name repeatedly, desperately wanting him to understand my need for him. He flicked his tongue upwards, just a slight movement, which sent my body over the edge. I exploded in his mouth loudly calling his name. I lost my body to the stars, my limbs were weightless. Edward moaned my name, the vibration of "Bella," rocked through my core and bounced around my bones. My body shook and tensed, my toes curled and numbed, and I orgasmed again.

The pleasure was so intense that I doubted that I would ever feel normal again. I could hear the sound of my voice yelling in ecstasy but had no control over my mouth. I trembled, small whimpers of pleasure pulsing through me like the aftermath of an earthquake. Eventually my whole body numbed and I could see again. Edward's smile took what little air I had from me. His smile was all man.

He licked the ocean between my legs, not missing a drop. My body tensed with each swipe of his tongue until I feared that I might never come back from the edge. I grabbed his hair in my fists and pulled with all my might. A deep animal moan came from him and this time I grinned wickedly.

"I believe that it's my turn now, and I want to see you orgasm."

Edward's whole body tensed and he looked terrified. I had only ever seen him that upset over me when my life was threatened. It didn't take me long to figure out what had him so concerned. Obviously he had been withholding that pleasure because he feared losing control. My heart constricted, all this time he had been protecting me. I shook my head to refocus my thoughts before the tears could escape my eyes.

"Edward you know I won't push you beyond what you can handle, if you feel that you'll lose control help me. Tell me what I can do for you so that you'll orgasm, but do what you feel safe with. I don't ever want you to worry. We're in this together."

He had lain on his back on the bed, while I had moved to a sitting position, almost kneeling before him. I rubbed my hands against the thickness of his thighs; they were large and heavily muscled. I wanted so badly to finally share this pleasure with him; he had pulled back from the edge every time.

"Please Edward?"

I was begging again, but I would do much more than beg to give him pleasure. He closed his eyes lost in thought before he smiled gorgeously at me. I lost the air in my lungs, he was so beautiful. He moved slowly, like a predator. He kneeled in front of me and ran his hand down my cheek, resting it on the crevice of my neck.

"I can't risk your safety but we can try something. If I can handle it then I know I will be fine on our wedding night. Lay on your back love, I want a perfect view of your gorgeous body."

I followed his first command to the T, blushing because of just how much he was seeing. I awaited more orders, shivering slightly due to the breeze on my most intimate area. Edward gave me a long and heavy look, his eyes darkening as he took in my every feature.

"Bella, I'm going to touch myself. This way you can see but I won't put you at risk. If I were honest with you, you would know that I do this all the time to resist the lure of your body. But I need you to do me another favor."

"Anything Edward."

I was growing more excited as I waited to see what he wanted from me. I could feel the tingle growing inside me; tightening muscles that I didn't know were there.

"I want you to touch yourself Bella, touch yourself the way you want me to touch you. Let me see your pleasure as you see mine."

The liquid poured from my core. I didn't have the thought to blush or hide; my body reacted to his demands without my consent. I didn't question his commands or his right to command me; I lost myself in how I wanted Edward to touch me. I wasn't gentle, I had had enough gentle. I ran my hands down my breasts to my stomach to rest on my core. I used one hand to squeeze my breast until I felt pain. I took my clit between my fingers and pinched it roughly.

My body was shaking with pleasure, the rough touch already sending me to the edge. I forced my eyes to stay open to watch Edward. I had wondered many times what this moment would be like and never had I expected this. His eyes were devouring me, his hungry gaze locking on my every movement. He had stripped quickly, standing proudly erect in all his glory. I lightened the touch on my breasts only to pinch harder. I wanted him desperately. I wanted him to fill me until I wouldn't be able to remember not having him inside me.

He ran his hands slowly down his chest, his stomach, and the full length of his erection. My fingers itched to reach for him, to pump him until he cried out my name. Instead I used that frustration to pinch and punish my skin. I moaned his name deeply with each pinch of my skin. He squeezed himself gently and I groaned. He smiled crookedly at me and pulled himself roughly and quick. It was sinful how very beautiful he was in that moment.

I put two fingers into me, not allowing myself to adjust before I was pounding as hard as I could into myself. I could feel my muscles constricting around my fingers and the pain of expanding felt wonderful. All the pain my body felt turned to pleasure before it reached my brain. I had some wires crossed because the harder I pushed myself the better it felt. I watched him through lust lidded eyes. His muscles tensed through his whole body and the faster I moved my fingers, the faster he moved his. I was chanting his name, my lover's mantra. A delicious fire spread through me when he started chanting my name.

"Oh.God.Bella. I want to be inside you, I want you to wrap around me while you fall off the edge of pleasure. I want to enjoy every last quiver of your body. I want to spill inside you."

I was forcing myself not to cross the edge, my hands slowed in order to keep some control. He was moving his hand faster than I could see and I reveled in the view. I watched fascinated as his whole body tensed, his head hung back, his hand slowed and liquid poured from him. I imagined that the liquid would at least be warm but I felt the cool shock of his juices on my stomach. I watched his every shudder and locked the guttural sound of his voice saying my name, away for future reference. I pushed harder in myself and came as well, screaming his name.

It took me a minute or two before I had enough strength in my limbs to remove my fingers. My whole body felt like Jello. I ran my boneless fingers through the cool liquid on my stomach, exploring it with my senses. I would have loved to taste it but knew that might cross some boundary. I decided it would be best to ask in this situation, rather than have Edward overreact and withhold such a bounty from me. I lifted my eyes to him and my air let out of me in one big gush. His eyes were dark and hungry; he watched my fingers with frank wanting. I shivered.

"Edward, am I allowed to taste you that way?"

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. I watched his heaving chest with growing lust and had to force my thoughts in a more clinical manner. If I didn't control my desire for him I would cross that last boundary before I meant to. But God did I ever want to. He opened his eyes slowly, zeroing in on me.

"Yes Bella, it's just like kissing me."

He had a ridiculously smug grin on his face as he said it. If I hadn't known just what memory triggered that grin I would've been upset. But I knew very clearly he was telling me just what way I could kiss him. I grinned widely at him, I loved the taste of his skin, and playing with that part of his anatomy would never get old.

"Do you think you'll be okay for the wedding night then, Edward?"

It was more than just curiosity, I needed to know. I couldn't hold my lust in much longer; my desire for him was quickly taking over my ability to reason. I watched his face for any sign that he wouldn't "seal the deal." He brought his naked body to hover over me and I shook. My whole body ached to just reach out and touch him, just shred that last barrier and have him. My hands clenched into fists, my jaw wired shut, and my body trembled to keep control. He smiled crookedly at me allowing me to see just how aware he was of his affect on me.

"Bella, I will have you. My concern was whether I could control myself enough to orgasm inside you. I will make you mine, Love, I will feel you orgasm around me."

He kissed me deeply and my moan coursed through my body. Oh God I needed him. I stared into his eyes and fought against my every urge to take him right there.

"Edward if you don't get up right now, I won't be held accountable for my actions."

He laughed joyously, but got up before I could jump him. He was clothed in a blink of an eye. I suddenly regretted my ultimatum. I definitely should've threatened him if he got up. I shook my head to refocus my thoughts. I wasn't helping my control by allowing my lust full reign.

"My love, I must go hunting. I will miss you dearly. But know that every second away from you I will miss you, I will think of you, I will long for you. And soon my loveliest Bella we will be married."

He was so wonderfully happy. I found that I didn't cringe or freak out whenever he said married. I wasn't worried about marriage anymore because he meant more to me than anything. I was so caught up in what marriage meant to everyone else that I hadn't decided what it meant to me. Although I hadn't wanted to marry young I certainly planned to marry for life. Edward was my everything and I couldn't ask for a more amazing husband. The dread in my heart built as I thought of the many moments I would have without him; but at least that all would end soon and we would finally be able to spend our every moment together.

I ran to his arms kissing every inch of his perfection within reach. I had to remind myself repeatedly that soon I'd never have to leave him. We kissed deeply lingering, unwilling to let go yet. I ran my hands over the features of his face, taking my time to memorize his every line.

"I will miss you until I can be in your arms again, but if you don't go soon, I probably won't be able to let you go. I love you, so very much."

He laughed against me and pulled me tightly to him. He kissed my temple, my nose, my cheeks, and finally my lips. My smile was large and I couldn't stop it from overtaking my face.

"I will miss you Bella, sleep well."

He picked me up, bringing me back to the bed. I would never get used to the feel of Edward laying my body down. He hummed my lullaby and although I fought it, I fell asleep quickly.

I awoke the next morning to a lonely bed. I did the customary look for Edward before I realized he was hunting. My heart sank. I went to the restroom to take my human minutes. I brushed my teeth taking the full two minutes. I brushed my hair, counting to 100 strokes. I turned on the water letting it warm as I took my clothes off slowly. I was stretching each moment out as long as I could.

I stepped under the water, the warmth pulling the tension from my body. I missed Edward already. The hole that enveloped me when he was away was already growing. I stood under the warm water unmoving until it cooled. The cooler water awakened the beast within me. My body tensed and I could feel liquid pooling between my legs. My body was reacting as if Edward were here. I imagined Edward in the shower with me.

One of my hands rubbed against my breast while the other spread my folds. I pushed a finger into me and imagined it was Edward. I realized that I had much better tools at my disposal. I could simply remember the way Edward made me feel, I didn't have to imagine it. I thought of the restaurant with Edward between my legs, the chair clenched in my hands, and the way his tongue seemed to pull everything out of me.

My legs started to tremble with the effort of keeping me up. The water got even colder and my whole body shook. I remembered the way Edward moaned "Bella" with his tongue inside me, I exploded around my own fingers. I came back to my limbs to find myself sitting on the shower floor. I couldn't stop myself from laughing hysterically. I had one less shot to take at "have you ever."

I was still shaking and I realized that I was freezing. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I dressed more quickly than I had undressed and walked down to get breakfast. Alice was sitting at the table, a bowl of my favorite cereal in front of her, and she was giggling hysterically. I dared her to laugh at me, but she didn't.

"Oh Bella you're so lucky that Edward swooped in when he did last night."

I nodded; sure she was right, without needing to know why. I shrugged and pulled the bowl of cereal from in front of her to me. I ate greedily. When I finished I glanced up to Alice wondering what the plan was for today. She smiled beautifully at me and said those dreaded words.

"We're spending the day at the spa; let's get you ready for the wedding."

I groaned but followed Alice to the doom of waxing, tweezing, exfoliating hell.


	11. Spa

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I followed Alice out to her 911 Turbo. Every time I saw that car I couldn't help but be reminded of Italy. Just thinking of that time in my life caused me to wrap my arms around myself as the hole within me grew. I missed Edward desperately, already. There was no way I would survive until I could see him again. I considered calling him to beg for him to come home but quickly remembered why he was hunting. It wasn't just the customary quick lunch; he was feasting so that he could finally take our virginities. I couldn't give that up because I was too weak to make it a day without him. I squared my shoulders and sat in the passenger seat of Alice's car.

I was still groggy, in that state of day dreaming, as we drove to Seattle. I didn't have to look at the signs to tell; I was annoyingly familiar with the green blurs outside the window. I now had the ability to tell apart green from green, disgusting really. I sighed at my own train of thoughts. I missed Edward. Alice ignored me in order to sing loudly to the country station. I cringed occasionally, as a particularly bad song came on, but overall it was an amusing and lighthearted ride. I appreciated her attempts to keep me from brooding.

We pulled off the main highway to drive down a long lonely road. Occasionally a mansion would jut out from the green landscape; we even passed a golf course. After an eternity we pulled in front of a large white spa and resort. They even had valets to park our car. I shook my head and followed Alice into the spa.

"Surprise!"

I jumped holding my hand to my heart. Everyone from the bachelorette party was standing in the lobby, with the inclusion of my mother and Esme. I tried really hard not to scowl but the longer I stood there the harder it became. All I wanted to do was lay down and mope. I wanted to enjoy my agony in solitude, was that so difficult to have? I hated to be away from him, and worse I hated the beautification process. So now I stood at the doorway to hell without Edward and surrounded by women. I groaned.

I tried to sound at least a little happy when I thanked them, but even to my own ears I sounded annoyed. My mother was completely oblivious to my annoyance as she excitedly told me her options for the day. The Denali clan sat, looking bored with the place. The humans, Angela, Jess, and Lauren were looking over the options with wide eyes. Esme smiled warmly at me and I finally felt the scowl leave my face. I was so happy to have her as a mother. She's the kind of mother I had always secretly wanted.

I was herded over to a well dressed middle aged woman. I smiled at her in greeting and listened to the ridiculously long list of activities. I stared at the woman until Alice decided for me.

"Bella, why don't we let our mother's get their massages while we get started on waxing. Let's get all the painful stuff out of the way so that at the end of the day we can relax."

Did I mention lately that I really hate this place? Waxing was painful and regardless of what other people claimed, I never got used to the feeling. I sighed in defeat and followed the employee upstairs. The group seemed to divide and conquer. Angela, Jess, and Lauren came with me. Alice didn't bother asking me what I wanted she simply spoke to the employees before she left for her own treatments. We were showed to a large room with separate areas and told to wait. A group of girls walked in, all of them looked to be in their late twenties. I was escorted to one of the separate areas and asked to put on a robe. I undressed quickly; hoping to keep my nakedness down to a minimum by doing it quickly.

"Why don't you lie down? I'm going to start with the Brazilian and then do your legs."

It took me a minute to process what she said, my shock was so profound.

"No!"

My voice was much louder than I intended but held all the authority I was going for. The poor girl jumped from my voice and looked wide eyed at me. I calmed myself in order to properly explain, without cursing stupid pixie vampires.

"I'm sorry, I do not want a Brazilian, that black haired girl was mistaken."

The girl regarded me for a moment, probably gauging whether she would get in trouble for not giving me a Brazilian wax. She finally nodded smiling at me. I laid down on the station and she moved it so I could sit upright. Each rip across my skin left a stinging burn through my legs. The longer she pulled the more the pain seemed to seep inside me.

Blessedly she finished one leg. She allowed me a short break to recover before she started ripping out the hair of my left. I tried to focus on anything but the burning in my legs. The skin of my right leg looked red. I ran my hand over my leg to feel the baby smooth skin. This process was painful but I was exceptionally glad that I would finally be benefiting from it. Every wax I had had before this was pointless. Edward never felt my legs, at least now I knew he would. I smiled widely thinking of just how much of me Edward was going to feel.

My left leg went much quicker than the one before it, because my thoughts were focused on Edward. The employee did my eyebrows and lip before she allowed me to stand. I walked back over to the center to see how everyone else was doing. Lauren was laying fully exposed to the room, to show us her Brazilian. I cringed, that was a view I did not need to see. I was shocked to find out that everyone but me had gotten a Brazilian wax.

"Why would you go through all that pain?"

"You mean you didn't get one?"

Jess was actually astounded that I would not want one, whereas Lauren only scoffed.

"Bella, it makes everything feel better."

Angela blushed but nodded enthusiastically to what Jess had said. I stared at the girls completely aghast.

"How?"

This seemed to be a concept I couldn't comprehend.

"Well, um, because the skin is so sensitive, and there's no hair, you can feel more."

Angela stuttered a few times, and blushed even as she spoke, but she helpfully gave me an answer. I considered what she said. Would the possibility of more pleasure be enough for me to willingly submit to such torture? I shook my head, there was no way.

Alice bounced into the room with a spa hair towel around her head and told us all to follow her. We met up in a large relaxing room. The only people missing were my mother and Esme. There were chairs sitting in a circle and we all picked one and awaited the next treatment. The same girl that had given me my wax walked over to me.

"I'm going to exfoliate your skin before I apply a mask that will need to set."

I nodded, finally understanding why we were all sitting around each other. The exfoliating process didn't take very long and wasn't painful. I felt the gooey mask being put on my face and couldn't help but make funny faces. Alice scolded me, not needing to actually look up from her own mask, and I focused on keeping my features neutral.

"So Bella, we all heard how much fun you had last night."

I cringed, my whole body joining in the movement. I really had wanted to avoid this conversation. Tanya seemed impatient for my reply but I was praying for a miracle to avoid this.

"Yeah Bella, how much fun did you have?"

Oh.God.Save.Me.Now!

The employee finished applying the goo to my face and all the spa employees left as one. The room was eerily quiet without the sounds of the other women. I knew that I was about to suffer a worse hell than waxing but couldn't come up with an escape from this scenario. Alice adding her two cents wasn't helping. I gritted my teeth and waited for the pain.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, we heard you so just save us all the trouble and tell us."

Damnit Alice…

I remained silent; my teeth clenched against my jaw, the slight pain helped my resolve. I was thankful for the cucumbers on my eyes as it meant the other women couldn't see me because they would be in a similar position. I didn't want to know if the green mask hid my blush or not. I focused on staying relaxed, hoping that would make this all easier to bear.

"What was Edward doing that had you screaming his name?"

I think this is what dying feels like. I didn't think Tanya would give up without an answer.

"He wanted me to moan loudly, and I wouldn't, so he made me."

I knew my blush was deep but was heartened that no one could see it. All the vampires could sense and smell my blush but even they couldn't see it now. I listened to the intake of breath spread through the room. I hoped that what little information I had given was enough to end this conversation.

"Why would Edward want you to moan his name?"

Hearing Lauren's nasally whine always caused me to cringe, this time was no exception.

"He um, wanted someone to hear it actually."

I tried to think back to the night before; Edward had never mentioned whom he wanted to hear us.

"I'm assuming Edward wanted us to hear."

Tanya's voice sounded slightly angry and I was a little concerned. I wasn't quite sure why she was so angry but I couldn't ask in front of the humans. Lauren virtually repeated her question only this time she asked Tanya.

"Why would Edward want you to hear Bella moaning?"

"He was just making sure I knew that they both were taken."

"Both?"

Damnit Lauren just let it go. I was fuming and cursing her inside of my head. I almost laughed as I wondered what Edward would ever think if he could hear my thoughts.

"I sort of let slip to Edward that I planned on showing Bella a few tricks, he got a little upset and wanted to prove that wasn't necessary."

This time I was curious. What had she thought to Edward to make him react that way? Was that why he tensed? I focused on remembering the night before and lost myself to the memory. I distinctly saw Alice's wink before Edward tensed. I could've slapped myself for being so oblivious. Alice had totally creeped me out earlier in the day because she had been watching me change. She was showing Edward that moment. So if that's why he tensed, when did Edward listen to Tanya?

I focused harder on my memories, trying to find when Edward had heard Tanya, hoping I could discern what he heard. I realized after losing myself to the memory that Edward had time to listen before we left the living room, and he didn't ask me to start moaning until he placed me on the bed. At least I had a time frame. I wondered if Tanya would tell me what she was thinking that set Edward of.

"Earth to Bella. Oh look Naked Edward."

I was pulled from my thoughts quickly, nearly jumping out of my seat in my haste. I heard Alice's giggles and couldn't help but join her laughter. I couldn't even see and the thought of naked Edward had me jumping.

"I thought that would work."

"Shut up pixie."

We both stopped laughing after a minute and I sighed; slumping back into my seat. I hoped that they were done asking questions and allowed myself to relax fully.

"Don't you even want to know why Bella?"

Damnit Tanya. I really wanted to ignore her, or say no, but I really wanted to know.

"Damnit, yes I want to know."

"Good, you can ask me questions but you have to answer one of mine in return, for each question you ask."

"Um, okay. So what did you say to Edward?"

I said "say" in a way that said to anyone in the know "think." I waited impatiently for the answer.

"I may have said what happened at the party."

I huffed, annoyed.

"I know that. What else?"

"That I wanted to show you how to use your toys."

I meant to ask her another question but I suddenly heard her last statement in a new light. She meant something deeper than she said and I didn't like it. I listened to the way she said it in my head.

"What way did you plan on showing me that would upset Edward?"

"I may have wanted to use a visual or two. I heard all about your frustrations while I was in Alaska. I just wanted to help. But Edward is such a prude sometimes."

I sucked in air; a visual? There was no question from that that I could reasonably ask. I was starting to understand why Edward was so adamant. It was becoming clearer that he was marking me, but I wanted to know why, all the reasons why. What had sent him so over the edge?

"I know you said something more to him Tanya, so tell me what you said."

"I may have said that I didn't think he could be a good lover to you, being so inexperienced. That he was only waiting because he couldn't deliver."

I tried to breathe, but I seemed to have a frog in my throat blocking my pathway. She couldn't have said that to him. Oh.God. That explains so much. Why he was so demanding and why he was so determined to make me scream his name.

"That's why he wanted me to scream."

I truly didn't mean to voice my thoughts aloud but my mouth worked on its own.

"Thank you, that's one question I don't have to ask now."

The women from the spa came back in to remove our masks. The lady helping me took the cucumbers from my eyes and placed a hot cloth on my face. She cleaned it up slowly and when she was done my face felt free. It was such a relief to have all that stuff off of my face. I looked around to see that everyone else was cleaned as well.

We were asked to follow them to another room so we could move to the nail stations. I was shown to the pedicure station first. This was my favorite part of all this crap. I hated doing my nails and they always seemed to need done. Whenever I got a pedicure it relaxed me in more ways than a regular massage. The pampering of my feet seemed to make my whole body mush.

Tanya opted to get a pedicure as well. Alice and Lauren took up the other two stations. Everyone else moved on to manicures. The employees showed us a tray of nail polishes and Alice picked for me. I sat back in the massage chair and allowed myself to enjoy my pedicure.

"What did Edward do to you to make you scream?"

I blushed crimson. I tried to think of a way to avoid the question but realized that I had already trapped myself into answering. I focused instead on what had happened the day before. My memories felt so real, like I was in a dream. I was paralyzed with my memories. I could feel my body responding to the memories of Edward; he didn't even have to be here to get me to react.

I held to the arms of my massage chair tightly, as if letting go would send me over the edge. I clamped my legs close together, causing the girl working on my feet to ask me to spread my legs again. I was turning red as the memories played louder in my head. I couldn't stop them, even with my eyes open, my thoughts trying to focus on nail polish and pedicures, still the scenes pounded into me. My hands started to shake with the fight for control.

I saw Edward's head hovering over my core. My whole body tensed as the pleasure spasmed through me again. It wasn't the same intensity as it had been the night before, just small aftershocks of my previous pleasure. I opened my eyes to see Tanya's golden eyes staring at me. I don't think I've ever been this red…

My heart was still pounding, the blood flushing my skin red. My body still showed signs of my pleasure. The girl at my feet said nothing. I was so embarrassed.

"He was that good, that now, just thinking about it you orgasm?"

She spoke loudly enough for the room to hear. Everyone turned to me. I hid my head in my hands.

"Tell me you did not just orgasm?"

Damnit who invited Lauren? I didn't speak but my silence was enough of an answer. I was too afraid to look up. I felt my feet being shaken so I moved my hands enough to look down. The girl working on my feet was looking at me, tapping on my feet to get my attention.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. You can't help how you feel and I know you didn't plan it."

She smiled politely at me and I smiled back. It was sweet of her to say but it didn't change how embarrassed I was.

"If you don't tell me what he did I might just explode."

Tanya was staring me down, willing me to tell her.

"He went down on me… And then… he masturbated and asked me to touch myself the way I wanted him to touch me."

I shivered just thinking about it.

I had whispered as quietly as I could, but apparently everyone heard. I listened to the collective gasp and stared intently at my hands. I heard a strange sound come from Tanya so I looked up at her. She kept opening her mouth and closing it. It was strange to see such a beautiful temptress looking like a fish out of water. I glanced around the room and found all the women in various stages of disbelief. Alice stood apart from everyone else, giggling hysterically, shaking in her chair.

"Edward Cullen."

That's all Tanya managed to say. I tried to empathize with her. She had been turned down by him as both a mate and a sexual partner. But the woman in me, the woman that was Edward's heard the question behind her question. He was mine, my mate, and my lover. She had no right to challenge that or to want him.

"Yes, my Edward."

Tanya looked up startled at me. We stared at each other; I dared her to question my hold on him. Damnit, I hated how many women wanted him, but he was mine. I would be his wife and soon he would finally take my virginity. Tanya finally broke our silent battle.

"I'm sorry for interfering although it seems to have definitely worked in your favor."

I nodded at her accepting her apology for what it was. I knew that she didn't find me a threat, but she also understood that this wasn't a competition for Edward, he had already chosen. I reminded myself of that for the millionth time as I turned back to my massage. I slumped into my chair unable to stay stiffly upright with the relaxing pressure against my feet.

I listened to the various conversations around the room, unfortunately most of them about my sex life. I smiled thinking about how much I enjoyed my sex life. Eternity with Edward was sure to be bliss. I stayed in my day dreams until my feet were properly pedicured. I moved to one of the manicure stations and sat down.

I hated how painful the manicures always were. Nowhere near as comforting as a pedicure. I allowed myself to day dream as she mutilated my nails. Whenever I thought of Edward the pain dulled. So instead of focusing on the harsh way she pushed at my skin, I focused instead on Edward's touch. What started as an innocent day dream of Edward playing my lullaby quickly became x rated.

I honestly meant only to distract myself. I didn't want another embarrassing episode in front of everyone. But the visual overtaking my rational thoughts was too powerful. Edward was playing in that magnificent way of his, while my fingers traced the muscles hidden under his shirt. I unbuttoned each button slowly, enjoying each peak at his exquisite chest.

Even in my fantasies I wanted to taste every inch of him. I pulled on his pants impatiently, tired of my own game. I wanted to see his skin, touch it, and taste it. He grinned crookedly at me and continued to play. I loved his music. I struggled to move his pants; he stood and removed them, continuing his song without missing half a beat. I shook my head at his amazing talent and noticed another equally talented part of him. He was erect pressing against the cloth of his boxers. I moved my hands to pull him through the hole, freeing him.

He was so beautiful. That I found even that part of him beautiful amused me. I liked looking at him, I loved watching his muscles react, and it made me feel powerful to feel it in my hands, my mouth. That I could make him react that way for me was enough to send me over the edge. I felt the pooling between my legs, practically spilling for him. I didn't bother to play' I leaned down to take his lovely cock in my mouth. I wanted to feel him throb and shake, but it felt even better inside my mouth.

He groaned in pleasure his notes finally falling off. I relaxed my breathing so that I could swallow more of him. I had turned my head slightly to look at him and was surprised to learn that made it easier to swallow him. I was able to take in another inch of him by turning my head, when I swallowed I felt my muscles convulsing around him. My legs were trembling with my pleasure. I didn't care that this was naughty, that I shouldn't be doing this, I loved exploring his body.

I breathed in slowly through my nose. I could feel the pressure in my throat, my body fighting the invasion of Edward. But I wanted him to feel as a welcomed part of me. I didn't move off of him as I calmed my body, I kept my mouth around him as long as I could. When I felt that I might be sick if I didn't move I lifted my head from him. The look on his face sent more liquid to my thighs. He moaned my name, his voice a breathy deeper velvet than normal. I smiled smugly at him proud of my accomplishment.

He picked me up spreading my legs with his hands as he placed me on the piano keys. I squealed in both delight and surprise. He captured my lips in his and I opened my mouth for him. He lapped at my mouth with deep need, my frequent moans gained in intensity. He reached a hand down to press between our bodies. He moved my panties out of the way and placed a finger in me. I bit his lip in my pleasure.

My hips met against his palm, the movement making odd notes ring through the house. He added another finger and my moan was deep. I grabbed his other hand and placed it on my breasts; I needed more of his touch. My hands went back to his erection and I pulled him towards me. We moved in tandem my thrusts meeting his in the middle. His moans made my pleasure so much more. I was so close I could feel myself tipping over the edge precariously.

He squeezed on my breast, his lips pressing into my neck, his hands making bliss inside me. I exploded in ecstasy around him. I wanted to watch his pleasure so I opened my eyes to see the golden eyes of Tanya staring at me. I shook my thoughts back to reality to find that my fantasies were much better for my mental health. The entire room was looking at me, commence with the blushing…

I sat in complete silence while the women around me questioned my obvious recent orgasm. Apparently my moans weren't just in my head. I really hate that. I realized that my hands were done and I had just been sitting there oblivious to everything. I sighed hoping that releasing more air would let out some of my mortification.

I followed the group of girls to another room, more sheltered than the others. I was shown to a mud bath and I was glad for the privacy. I focused on not thinking through the entirety of my bath. I hadn't even lost my virginity, yet I was already becoming a nympho. In my defense Edward is a Greek God.

I showered the mud off my body, feeling that sense of freedom again. I felt like I could breathe though my skin, it was interesting how sensitive my skin was. I focused on thinking of the history of Chicago. I didn't need to masturbate in front of all the girls; I was already on a role.

Fortunately my mother joined me for my massage, or I'm not sure I would have lived through it. I was embarrassed to get a full body massage but the fact that it was a woman eased my concern. My mother was there with me so it took all thoughts of sex from the room. I should have used her as a barrier all day.

My mother stayed at my side for the rest of the day; buffering my thoughts from sex and from the curious girls to asking me questions about sex. Unfortunately, my mother had tons of advice about marriage. At first I was appreciative of her advice but by hour three I was ready to daydream in front of everyone, it was better than this. Maybe I'm just addicted to orgasms.

When we finally left the spa my body felt ready for anything. I was smooth and breathing in everything. My senses seemed enhanced. I was thankful Alice had given this day to me. I hated how much money was spent but it was a nice last day as a single woman. Tomorrow I would be Mrs. Edward Cullen. The day couldn't come fast enough.


	12. Wedding

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I awoke early to the bouncing joy of Alice screaming orders at me. I had created a monster in letting her run amok with my wedding, if she was "bridezilla" over my wedding I would hate to see one of her own. I spent the early morning of the day showering, washing, conditioning, in the order that I was told.

I spoke little to the women around me lost in the thoughts of what this day meant. I was coming to grips with the idea of marriage. It was hard for me to reconcile with the whole institution of marriage; just because the idea of being married to Edward was wonderful. I hated the production that a wedding was. All those people watching my every move, terrified me. I didn't see the point in wearing tulle or throwing rice. All that mattered to me was that Edward would become my husband.

It seemed like a lot of hoops to jump through to have him as mine. I laughed at myself for thinking of that, what hoop wouldn't I jump through to be Edwards, to have Edward? I was tired of waiting for the rest of my life, I wanted it now. I had waited so long for this; I had followed the rules, mostly because Edward did. I had done everything I was supposed to and now I would finally start to live my life.

I had spent most of my young life living for everyone else; my family mostly. Everyone came before me, but they needed someone to take care of them, so I did. I never complained because I had to take care of my mother, it was simply the way things were. We had our own balance but it still wasn't a life I wanted for myself. I moved along, giving to others but never taking.

I had never dreamed that I could have more, that there was someone out there for me that would make even life's necessities difficult to do without him. I had never depended solely on anyone, nor did I think I ever would, until Edward. It wasn't just that he could save my life without breaking into a sweat; it was that he gave me everything. He gave me a piece of myself that had quietly existed until he spoke to me. He made me see that my life could have meaning to. He made me believe in love, which no one had ever made me believe before.

I wouldn't miss not having children, I had raised my mother. It was truly time for me to be free and live the life I wanted. Although my parents would miss me I couldn't hold on to this life for them. I couldn't exist in this world without Edward; it wouldn't be fair to anyone. I hoped that in time my parents would forgive me for selfishly choosing this path, but maybe one day they would understand.

I couldn't change what I needed anymore than I could change this choice. I wondered if Jacob would ever understand; would ever forgive me for the pain I caused him? I had been foolish but at least I understood now. As painful as this choice was to make, the pain I would go through once Edward bites me, will be much more. I finally understood why Edward didn't want to change me, why he had protected me from his own desires.

Alice tapped on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up at her through the mirror, shocked to see my hair done. My hair was straightened with just the tips curled; it was all pulled to the side with a diamond barrette. I didn't bother to ask if the clasp in my hair was real, I would be better off not knowing. Alice and Rose were doing my hair and makeup. I sat in my wedding night lingerie as they worked their magic.

"Bella, what do you think?"

Alice was shifting frequently, impatient to hear my answer. I smiled at her, so very glad that she was my sister. She smiled beautifully at me and tugged on my hand for me to stand up. I followed her into her room, accepting the white dress she offered me.

In one of my many battles with Alice we had argued over the location of the Wedding. She thought that if we had it in Forks or Port Angeles, she could invite the whole town. I fought adamantly for Seattle, it would deter guests, the family could book a hotel, and plus the house wouldn't smell like a bunch of humans. Jasper appreciated that greatly and promised a great wedding present for us in return. I had argued with him in hopes of getting it down to a simple thank you but he was quite adamant.

Because the wedding was in Seattle, I wouldn't put on my wedding dress until we made it to the church. We were using an old church off the river, with the reception at a grand hotel also off of the river. Edward's only command was that we marry at twilight, and I felt the light bouncing off the water would be gorgeous. Alice had spent half a day not talking to me because of my choices, when she realized having the reception in a hotel increased her budget for the wedding she happily caved.

I was forced to deal with fabric swatches for curtains, chair covers, and fabric napkins. Alice seemed to have a never-ending list of fabric to cover the hotel reception. But I hoped that by having my big hoopla in Seattle most people would just decline. I wanted this day to be about my joining with Edward and saying goodbye to my family. I didn't want to have to play nice with all the guests when I could be playing quite nicely with my new husband.

I followed the train of women to the car. We all piled into two cars, Carlisle's Mercedes, and the Volvo. I almost asked why we drove the Volvo but realized Edward would have his Vanquish today. I sat in the passenger seat of the Volvo, garnering honks whenever we passed other cars, and lost myself to my thoughts.

I was anxious to see Edward again, I had missed him, and the day at the spa had been hell without him. I was seriously ready to be on the other side of this day, waiting for this was truly exasperating. Everyone had advice to give, some token to give me, or some suggestion on my appearance. I felt like I was an animal on display at the zoo. Surely, they at least get fed well.

My stomach grumbled and everyone in the car turned to me. My mother started a long tirade about looking after my health, and how I now had to look after Edward's as well. I bit on my lip hard to keep from giggling when she mentioned how often men eat. I imagined making a three course meal for Edward and my laughter escaped. I figured I would be a better meal to him, at least more satisfying. My mother however, found my laughter rude and started another tirade.

I sighed heavily and tuned the other voices in the car out. Everyone had so much to say today that I couldn't even hear the sound of my own thoughts. I focused on assessing my health and body. I was hungry, exhausted, and had a definite migraine attacking my temples. My body was all there, in working order, except for the army of butterflies that had moved into my stomach.

Next I focused on my appearance. My hair and makeup were done, I was dressed, and would dress again. I jutted my feet out, stretching my legs, to admire my shoes. I was all set, well except for the church and the groom. I wondered how opposed Edward would be to eloping. It might be too late now; I should've called and asked him yesterday.

I wish I could say the drive to Seattle was quick, but it wasn't. It was the longest drive of my life. Time had slowed drastically. I stared out the window watching each green tree bring me closer to forever. I couldn't stop myself from constantly wondering what Edward was doing, thinking, and feeling. He was a constant torrent against my stream of thoughts. If I could only see him I would feel so much better. My stomach grumbled again and the dull sounds I had been ignoring grew. I figured that they were still upset with me for having skipped breakfast, and lunch. I was too nervous to eat then. Now I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat.

When we reached the growing outcrops of civilization, just outside of the city, we pulled up to a McDonalds. The drive through person nearly fell out of his window when he saw me. I smiled politely and waited for my cheeseburger. He offered to throw in one of their pies for free, but I politely declined. We sped off towards the city as I munched absentmindedly on my fries.

When we finally reached the hotel the voices around me exploded. The women were all yelling different directions. I stood in the center of the mass of estrogen waiting for everyone to realize I was there. I crossed my arms as my impatience grew. We were attracting all the attention in the lobby and my anger was growing.

"Enough."

The mass of women turned as one, all with the same look on their faces. If I hadn't just listened to them yelling for the last half hour I would've laughed. The shock and horror created quite the picture. I wondered if the wedding photographer was getting this shot, because I definitely wanted this keepsake. At least my outburst stopped them. As a group we moved to the check in. We wanted to drop off our bags and only take the necessities to the church. We had two hours and I couldn't wait.

We were on our way to the church in no time. The place was very beautiful, they ushered me to my changing room in a sea of bodies. I thought the effort was sweet, but if Edward wanted to look at me, he wouldn't have to look with his eyes. My mother rushed to me carrying my bridal gown as if it were spun glass. I rolled my eyes and took the dress from her. I unzipped the white number I wore to the church and stepped into my bridal gown slowly. I looked up startled to see a room full of women watching me. People had serious boundary issues when it came to weddings.

I turned around so my mother could zip the dress up for me and a chill ran down my back as I realized just who would be unzipping me. My mother brought my veil to pin it to my head and I held my hand up to say "wait." I grabbed the veil and turned to Alice.

"Alice will you do the honors?"

Alice beamed widely at me, glad to be part of the dressing parade. When she placed the last pin in, the room collectively gasped. I worked hard not to roll my eyes. I turned to the full length mirror to take in my appearance. I definitely looked old-fashioned with a modern twist. The veil and shoes brought the whole thing together. I felt faintly ill as I realized I was regurgitating Alice. I shivered trying to shake off thoughts of fashion as I turned back to the room.

Alice handed me a pouch and I opened it up carefully.

"It's a sixpence, for your shoe."

"What?"

"Haven't you heard the saying: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe?"

"But what is it and why do I need it for my shoe?"

"Silly Bella, it's British, it's just a dime."

I shook my head at her; she had been pinning old traditions all over me. I placed the stupid dime in my left shoe and followed her to meet the photographer. The photographer was already ranting about time restraints. I sighed heavily and stepped into the portrait.

Each minute clicked by slowly. The women around me talked excitedly, often interrupting pictures to offer suggestions. I listened to the church grow loud with guests and tried to ignore the constant barrage of advice. Finally, I was told I could line up. We still had time but apparently getting into a single file line was time consuming.

I stood alone, waiting for my father to join me. He pulled me into a hug the second he came within reach.

"You look so beautiful Bells. You've grown so much."

I smiled at him, thankful for the complements, but focused on everything other than the tears growing in my eyes. My father put my arm and his and placed his free hand on mine.

"Are you okay Bells, are you sure this is what you want? There's no going back after this."

I laughed to myself, amused about the irony of that statement. My father had no idea that I would be crossing a barrier much more permanent than marriage, I would become immortal. I knew he had the best of intentions, only fearful for me, so I allowed him to voice his concerns without complaint. I smiled to show him I wasn't upset and let my eyes tell him how ready I was. Especially after the last day, I would happily run away with Edward, all that estrogen is just dangerous.

I heard the music start and my stomach dropped like I was on a roller coaster. The aisle was impressively long. I grumbled about Alice and her stupid pixie gait, my entire walk. I wanted to look up, to see Edward for the first time in forever, it had been too long. But if I took my eyes away from the floor, it would win, and this was one time that I refused to be clumsy.

I held on to my father with a vice grip to keep myself steady. When we finally reached Edward, I saw his feet, I looked up. I stopped in my tracks, the look on his face shattering every thought on my mind. I stumbled on the step from the aisle to the platform that Edward and the priest stood on. I heard the collective laughter but couldn't bother with them at the moment. Edward's smile was pulling the air from my lungs, even as I breathed it in.

I focused on breathing, check. I forced my eyes away from his to look down and managed to step up. My father's smile was heartbreaking and I was momentarily pulled from my happiness. My heart ached to ease my father's suffering. My ache caught up with my brain and I realized that there was nothing I could do for my father. I reached my hand out to rest on his arm, I used his arm to keep me balanced as I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"I love you daddy."

My father made sure I was standing steadily on my own before he turned to sit. I saw the tears spilling from his eyes and my heart lurched. I reached out to him but Edward grabbed my hands.

"He's okay my love."

Edward's velvet voice pulled my eyes back to him. I lost myself in his gaze, glad to finally be near him again. My breath came out in a heavy sigh, his name escaping my lips. He squeezed my hands in his and we turned as one to the priest. The priest was Emmett. I laughed and held on to Edward for support. Emmett was grinning smugly at me. I had wanted him to marry us but didn't really think it would happen.

Emmett started the ceremony quite professionally, maintaining a serious look on his face. I bit my lip to stifle the giggle building in my chest. His booming voice rang through the church and I found myself drawn to whatever he was saying. We opted for a traditional ceremony; I felt that this stood the test of time. I didn't want us to make our own vows, those often sounded like a rehash on why the couple were marrying, not what they vowed. My vow would be simple "forever." That encompassed everything, so I simply picked a set of vows that matched "forever" instead of "till death do you part." I had no intention of being married to him until I died, surely our marriage would only grow after my death.

Most of the ceremony was long winded. I was getting anxious to get closer to Edward. I understood that what Emmett was saying was important, but seriously could this take any longer? Edward grinned with each impatient gesture I made. The smile danced in his eyes and grew crooked on his face. I smiled in return very happy to be marrying him; I would so not do this for anyone else.

We finally got to the good stuff, repeating our vows. Edward's voice was a velvet caress. I fumbled through my vows, less gracefully than Edward, but I was happy to be speaking at all. It was becoming harder to breathe the longer I stared at him. I had been standing here near an hour and had yet to kiss him, I was at my limit. When we finally got to the "I Do's" I said it before Emmet finished asking. Edward laughed joyously, the sound echoing throughout the church.

I listened to Emmett intently waiting for the blessing to kiss. I needed to kiss Edward, touch him, and be held by him; this standing here thing was pure torture. I practically jumped with excitement when Emmett finally gave his blessing. I watched Edward move towards me my thoughts going wild.

People used to believe that our souls were carried in our breath. Sneeze and it's your soul trying to escape, kiss and it's your soul trying to mingle. That's why at the end of a wedding they kiss, so that the bride and groom share their souls, melding as one. It's one of the many ways a couple lays claim to one another. The British still don't believe you should kiss at a wedding ceremony because the sharing of souls is a private moment.

I stood at the altar waiting for the kiss wondering what sharing souls would feel like. Would this kiss be different than any other kiss before it? Would I feel like I was now Edwards, whereas before I only wanted to be? Would my soul escape to crawl inside him? I knew that if I could I would allow my soul such a thing, if only I could manage it.

I watched Edward's every breath, every twitch, and every smile. All I could see was him. I heard the sounds Emmet made only because he stood directly beside me, his voice tunneling into my ears. All other sounds were voided by the smoldering topaz eyes that trapped me.

He leaned in, his head tilting slightly downward, and my breath caught. I wanted to continue watching him so I fought my bodies' natural response to close my eyes. I tilted my head upward, slightly, and leaned closer to my husband. I watched his lips come closer until the force of gravity on my lids grew too heavy. My breath fanned out in a heavy sigh.

Edward placed his hands on my waist, wrapping around me, and pulling me into him. He crashed against my lips telling me without words that he loved me and that I was his. My lungs burned, my body swayed, and my head throbbed. He pulled away so that I could breathe and I still felt that the kiss didn't last long enough. My chest heaved for air and my body fell into his embrace.

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, the heavy weight of the moment pressing in on me. I was his for eternity; he would never leave me again. My heart was so full of love that I could feel it expanding to make room for more. From the very beginning I had wanted to be his, to know that I would always be, and now I finally had that. Was that what it meant to share souls?

His smile was unearthly beautiful. I found that looking at him was almost painful because of his exquisite beauty. I stared into his eyes wishing that he could see my soul and know how very much he meant to me. Emmet broke the moment hugging us from behind as he spoke.

"Now let's get this party started."


	13. Reception

**AN: Okay just a note to answer a few of your questions. For those of you that are unmarried, weddings are not the sky opening, angels singing, divine blessing that any movie tells you it is. Weddings are annoyingly long, uncomfortable and people are just rude. Women will come up to you and tell you things that they would have never told you before, because now you're a married woman. Old women will give you sex advice, young women will give you marital advice, and your mother-in-law will just give you advice on everything. Yes a wedding is wonderful, but it is a lot of work. I don't know a couple that enjoyed the wedding more than their guests; it's exhausting both physically and emotionally. There is a reason the couple escapes immediately afterward, that is to get away.**

**Yes I felt similar at my wedding. I considered beheading my mother-in-law before even being introduced as the Mrs. at my reception. Another misconception is that the vows are meaningful. I'm sorry to inform you but most couples forget their vows immediately. Words only have as much power as you put behind them. If you mean your vows the words are unnecessary. I kept that all in mind when I wrote the wedding chapter. Weddings are a production; truly they are, so I wrote such a production.**

**My husband was greatly amused by my frustrations during the wedding and laughed several times as I fought my knees from locking up. Stand for an hour in heels, a heavy dress, and nevermind the lingerie… Well young ones someday you will understand. The wedding is painful, the reception is a blast. Have fun and let lose, everything will go wrong, people will be rude, and you'll probably want to murder an in-law, welcome to married life. If you want one of those sweet wedding stories, I really can't give it to you, I'm sorry. I truly believe that marriage is one of those things that you can't understand at the beginning. I still get hit with surprise at how much my spouse means to me. It's something that comes to you as you grow together, but it doesn't hit you all at once like lightening. Or maybe that's just me.**

**Say**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

Edward, the wedding party, the parents, and I all had to stay behind to take pictures. Again the pictures took forever. Random guests stayed behind to snap shots of us all lined up. I was seeing stars from all the flashes. Edward held me close to him, unwilling to let me even take pictures without him. We had been apart far longer than either of us liked. He kissed my neck between every snap.

The second we got the go ahead to leave, I was lifted into the air. Edward picked me up bridal style and took me to the Vanquish. He placed me in the passenger seat and ran over to the other side. He held my hand, kissing my wrist, my arms, my elbow… He kept his lips on me the entirety of our drive from the church to the grand hotel.

When we pulled into the hotel there was a valet to park the Vanquish for us. Edward ran to my door and lifted me from my seat. He carried me into the lobby of the hotel in his arms, attracting even more attention than the army of estrogen had managed to capture earlier. Every stranger in the lobby said something to us.

"Good Luck."

"Congratulations."

"Tough break man."

"Oh how romantic."

I noticed a theme among the older males; they all seemed to think I trapped Edward, or that he would someday hate being married. I felt the smile slipping from my face as the negative congratulations grew. What made all these men feel this way? Edward sensed my distress and managed to get us through the crowd of gawkers quickly. We were now in the lobby to the reception hall. Even the lobby was transformed from its normal hotel look.

I should have taken that as the sign it was, to run and hide. If Alice couldn't leave the lobby alone I was sure the reception wouldn't look like it was even in this building. Edward placed me on my feet, as he stood behind me, holding me to him. He ran his hands from the back of my neck, down my shoulders, my arms, to settle on my waist. The longer his touch lingered the faster my heart raced. My thoughts started to slow and my skin flushed. Oh.God. I wanted him already.

I started counting down in my head, until a reasonable hour to escape all this fanfare. Alice came running at us, yelling directions as she moved.

"Edward, get out of the lobby, people will see you. There is a waiting room just for you it's by all the presents, go, go, go, go!"

I tried really hard not to giggle, but apparently she was serious. Everyone had already seen us, so why couldn't they now? I didn't understand her rage, what was wrong with waiting in the lobby? Edward chuckled, the sound coming from low in his chest, and I felt the vibration against my back. My giggles mingled with the low sound of his chuckle and I loved the way they mingled together. He picked me up again and I wondered if being married meant I lost my license to walk.

The closer we got to our designated holding cell the louder the cacophony of guests grew. We could hear the dishes clanking, the various conversations, the sound of music and dancing. I wondered if that was what it sounded like in Edward's head all the time. Off the side of the main lobby were two rooms. One room was completely opened; if I had been walking the site of all those presents would have stopped me. It was a colorful space because of the various wrappings, ribbons, and bows that exploded in the place. Next to the rainbow room was a discreet door. Edward led us through the door and I was finally placed on my feet.

Although this room had a door, it had an opening that showed us the reception. The angle into the room kept anyone from seeing us, but I could distinctly hear Mike's table from where I stood. I looked confusedly at Edward.

"Why would she send us here if we're not allowed to be seen?"

Edward's smile turned predatory as he looked me over. His thick gaze pulled my blood to boil on my skin. He was feet away from me yet my body was already heating for him. I closed my eyes to focus on control. I had been vocal enough lately I didn't need to give the guests an extra show. But all that seemed to fall from my head when Edward's cool body pressed against mine. I felt his hands on my shoulders, pulling the sheer straps of my gown down, and my eyes snapped open.

"Edward, whhhat are you doing? We can't here."

I had meant to sound more authoritative but the breathy quality of my voice only worked as an invitation. I sighed defeated when his lips pressed on to my skin. My whole body slumped into his embrace, allowing him to hold me up.

"I need to touch your skin Bella, to taste you. It has been too long since I have felt you."

I tried not to completely melt into him, just a small melt, but my body was his and I had little control over that. I arched into his embrace, my body begging for more, while I still fought against it. I knew within my bones that my ability to keep control was gone. If he tried to take me I was his to have, but I couldn't keep quiet and everyone would know. I tried to focus on that because the fires his lips caused in me seemed to strip all other thoughts from my head.

"Oh Edward, please, I can't stay quiet and they'll hear."

"I know."

Oh.God. This again. I was slightly angry that he wouldn't tell me what he wanted, why he was doing this? I was his wife, his lover; he could tell me what he was planning. If he expected to have what he wanted, he better tell me. I shouldn't have to ask Tanya what she was thinking to figure out why he wanted something from me.

"No, Edward, not until you tell me what you're planning. I had to talk to Tanya about much more than I wanted, it was embarrassing, to figure out why you were acting like this last time."

I'm sure if Edward could blush he would be. He looked down, hiding his eyes from me. I could feel he was uncomfortable and I immediately wanted to put him at ease. I reached my hands up to face, taking his gorgeous angles into my hands.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm yours, whatever you want. Just tell me what you want, that's all that I ask."

He looked into my eyes, trapping me to him. His smile grew as he took in my words, and I watched fascinated as it grew larger and more crooked. He was melting my bones with that smile. He crashed his lips to mine and I moaned the second we made contact. It had been too long since I had properly kissed him. He pulled my body into his as he walked us backwards.

He sat gracefully whereas I squealed as I fell into him. I was unprepared for the movement and managed to trip my way onto his lap. He laughed joyously at me, and that sound kept my anger from forming. He grabbed me by my hips and settled me on him, pulling me close to his chest. I moaned softly at the movement, and his eyes grew darker.

"Bella, I want to kiss you, to taste your divine skin, I want to have your moans fill this room. But to be honest I want your moans to fill the next room as well."

I stared at Edward completely dumbfounded. Why?

"Why?"

My thoughts were rather slow going at the moment.

"Because I have been tortured for years listening to Newton's fantasies about you, I have heard all those students lusting after you or me, and now I can finally do something about it."

I thought on what he said, did I want him to do something about it? Mike Newton wasn't a threat to Edward; I didn't understand his anger towards Mike. But then my thoughts caught up to everything Edward had said, the girls lusted after Edward, would I want to do something about that? Damn straight. I smiled widely.

"Who were you planning on upsetting?"

Edward's face lit up in a bright smile, taking my breath with it. He kissed me deeply, pulling lust from deep within me to the surface.

"Mike's table is just on the other side of that opening. None of them can see us, but all the school kids are there, including Lauren and Jess."

He knew what my question was really asking and answered it accordingly. I thought for a brief second but knew I had my answer. It wasn't about showing off or finally getting them all to shut up, it was about claiming him. I had only ever been his, and he had only ever been mine, but many of the people waiting on the other side of that wall, had tried to interfere with that. Many of the women wanted Edward for themselves, and I needed to lay my claim in a way that would make it clear to idiots like Lauren. I nodded at Edward and let my eyes say exactly what I was feeling.

Edward's hands were everywhere, not wasting a moment to touch me. His lips traced the path of my chest while his hands lifted the silk of my skirt. The soft friction of the silk against my waxed legs helped build my anticipation. I wanted his touch and everything else was just the torture of waiting for him to give me what I wanted. My head fell back, already unable to keep myself upright. His name escaped my lips softly.

He moved his hands to cup my core, inspired by my moans. I shook when I felt the coolness of his hand meeting the warmth of my center. His tongue licked from my cleavage to my ear and I pooled for his waiting hand. His name came louder from my lips, but I needed more and he was withholding. I reached my hands down to feel his erection and he trapped me by my wrists. I groaned with great annoyance.

"What Edward, let me touch you."

"No Bella, tonight, all of tonight you are mine to claim."

My body trembled; I wanted desperately to be his, in every way. Those words had a profound effect on my body. I moaned deeply unable to stop my pleasure from showing. He smiled against my skin and spoke into my neck.

"I will make your moans a song for the night, echoing continually to show the very stars that you are mine."

His voice was gruff and demanding. But I found that the more controlling he was the more I enjoyed it. I never thought I would want to be so completely owned but at this moment I would do anything he wanted. I knew that I held my own claim over him and that made his claim over me equal. That equality eased any fear I might have had over being under his control. He would suffer under my control soon. But tonight I would be his.

His cool fingers edged under my panties and I shook. I wanted him desperately, needed him to fill me. We were married now, what were we waiting for.

"Take me Edward, please just take me."

I was pleading now, no shame for my desires, only a desperate need for more. I felt his unneeded intake of air, the gasp against my skin. He lowered his head to rest on my fragile body. I wanted to be strong for him, so that he could lose control with me and finally fully succumb to the pleasure. But he couldn't lose control with me; every touch was just a glimpse of what he could do for me. My lists of things to do to him once I turned grew longer every day.

His body trembled and I looked to him startled. He opened his eyes to look at me and I could feel myself spilling for him. His eyes were needy, hungry, and dark with want of me. That his eyes could look like that for me made any reservations I had slip from my mind. He could take me right here and I would gladly comply. While my gaze was trapped by his honeyed eyes, he slipped a finger into me.

He didn't play with me, edging his way in slowly, or torture me with anticipation. He knew exactly what touch I wanted from him. He placed a second finger into me before I had fully adjusted. The feeling reminded me that I had showed him exactly what he was doing now. My whole body shook with pleasure. I held onto his neck, wrapping my arms around him in a stranglehold to keep me near him.

I couldn't be close enough to him. His name escaped my lips more frequently as he thrust his fingers into me. He pulled his fingers out slowly, making me frustrated with him, and pushed into me with quicker force. The slow, fast, had my body near the edge. I could feel the growing of my orgasm, the tensing of my body. My insides felt heavy and my skin burned with my need.

I called his name more frequently unaware of whether it was still soft or not. I wanted more of him, to feel his skin against mine. I pulled his vest open, popping the buttons of the stupid thing. I groaned deeply to see all the buttons of his white shirt. I wanted to rip them all but I didn't have the strength. My bones were turning to liquid, my whole body was pooling for Edward, and he held me in his hands.

His lips pressed against me wherever he could reach, never stopping long at one piece of skin before finding another. He used his free hand to wrap in my hair, to support my head, and forced my lips to his. I moaned throughout my whole body. I had nothing but the feelings Edward gave me. I was his completely. I was so lost in him that I could no longer tell if I wanted more, needed less, or was satisfied. I was lost to everything.

He reversed the technique of his fingers to pull out quickly and enter me slowly. My lips begged him, a stream of incoherent mumbles. I couldn't form full words; I kept repeating myself trying to get to a full word "Edwar" being the most I could accomplish. My hips forced me into him, thrusting me into his hands, forcing my whole body forward.

He kept my lips hostage, only ever letting me up to breathe, and taking my lips the second I acquired air. I was so very close to something, unsure of what that was only knowing it was in Edward's very capable hands.

"I love you Bella and you're mine, forever."

I couldn't have expected my reaction to such sweet and simple words, but I exploded in a sea of limbs. I felt numb and tense all throughout. It was an odd combination of no limbs and tingling digits. My head hung back, his free hand holding my head onto my body; while the rest of me was lost. I saw the stars and lights of my flight and enjoyed the feeling.

I didn't force myself back, I rode my Edward induced pleasure to the fullest. I came back to myself by my senses, only one at a time. I heard my screams first, and gained the ability to close my mouth next, realizing I was still pressing my lips against his. My eyes opened next, slowly acclimating to the lights of the room, after the bright lights that seared my lids. I slumped into his body allowing the amazing scent of Edward to calm my breath.

My lips scoured the length of his neck, pressing my love into his skin. When I finally regained control of myself I looked at Edward to find his eyes closed. I reached up to kiss his lids open. He opened his eyes to trap mine immediately. His look took my freshly regained air away. His eyes were intense a clear demand in them. It took me a while to understand that his eyes said quite clearly that I was his. I smiled widely at him proud that I finally read his eyes.

"I'll always be yours."

His gaze cooled and a smile overtook his face.

"Yes you will be, forever."

He picked me up to place me on my feet. I grabbed his arms with a quickness I didn't normally possess. He had moved to stand me too quickly; I still hadn't found my knees. He laughed deeply to see me clutching him. He wrapped his arm around me to hold me steady while his other arm fixed my dress.

"They're waiting for us, they have called for Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen three times, and we have yet to answer. I'm afraid if we don't move your father will send a search party."

I blushed crimson. I had forgotten where we were or what had started such intimacy in the first place. I wasn't embarrassed because he had just blown my mind; nope I was blushing because I had forgotten everything else. I shook my head scolding my blush for acting outside of my control. I took in a few deep breaths before I followed Edward out to face our reception.

I wanted to ask Edward what everyone had thought, since that was what had started everything, but the lights and sounds impaling us interrupted that. I sighed and determined to ask him the first moment I could.

I sat heavily in my chair, sliding downward to hide. We had walked the length of the hall to greet our guests. Everyone had something to say, mostly rude, and I had to practice smiling while wanting to tear heads off. Edward stayed amused throughout, laughing loudly whenever my anger grew.

We had danced, cut cake, danced, and talked to guests. I knew this was supposed to be fun and about us, but I was tired of being on display. There were supposed to be meaningful moments, heart-wrenching moments, but I was burned out. Everyone wanted something from me, this was a really good way to say goodbye. Maybe I was a bad wife for thinking the traditions were stupid, maybe I'm the only woman that ever felt that way, but I was at my wit's end.

I loved my father, I loved my husband, I loved my family, and this constant need to display that was not me. I hated to dance, I was horrendous at walking. Only dancing with Edward was beautiful, everything else was awkward, and usually painful for whomever I was dancing with.

For hours I was passed around from traditions to guests. I felt a little used. I only wanted to find another room and escape with my husband. I interrupted Edward's dance with Tanya, I had no patience to be polite. I walked up to him, grabbed his hand and walked him back to our hideout. Once I reached safety I lost myself to his embrace.

I heard his laughter from the safety of his chest but couldn't find the strength to look up. I was exhausted, tired of everything that wasn't Edward and ready to run far far away. He picked my head up, gently with his fingers.

"What's wrong my lovely wife?"

I tried to smile but I felt the strain of muscles that fought to frown.

"I'm tired of all of them, I just want you, let's leave, we don't need to stay any longer."

He laughed wonderfully and I reveled in the sound of his joy. I felt so much better around him; he made me stronger, happier, whenever he was near me. I kissed his chest and placed my head near his silent heart.

"Tell me what everyone was thinking earlier."

I thought I was clear, but Edward answered me in a way that was either playful or confused.

"Your mother is happy for us, your father is resolved, my family is ecstatic."

"No, husband, what did Mike, Lauren, and Jessica think about what happened earlier."

He tried to hide the smug smile that was growing on his face but he was completely unsuccessful.

"Mike thought that I was forcing you and that you were really begging me to stop. He imagined himself coming in here to rescue you, but when you screamed my name in ecstasy it broke his little delusion. Lauren thought that if it were her I would've been moaning, but then she heard what I said to you, and left the table rather angry. She left the reception, haven't you noticed her missing? Jess imagined that she was you and thought you were rather lucky."

I smiled widely; glad we had accomplished our mission. I wasn't sorry that Lauren left good riddance. I felt bad for Mike and Jess; I didn't mean to rub it in their faces, but God were they delusional.

"I believe Tanya thinks we just like putting on a show for her."

I laughed hysterically. Tanya would think that.

"No, we need no encouragement to be intimate."

My comment created a glorious smile across my love's face.

"Why don't we go run through rice so I can get you home?"

This time my smile grew and I happily chased him to run through one last tradition, before I could have the one tradition I wanted. I would finally be his.


	14. Wedding Night

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I watched the moving scenery with increasing anxiety. I wanted this to be wonderful, but more than anything I wanted it to be good for him. I wanted to show him my love for him, I wanted to fulfill every need my measly human body could fill for him. I looked up from the rings on my fingers, my eyes lingering on the planes of his face.

My hand reached out to him without my telling it to. I needed to be near him, I needed to touch him to make sure that he was real, that this was real. He was so very beautiful, so amazingly perfect, that I still couldn't comprehend how he became my husband. I wouldn't admit it yet, but secretly I loved the sound of husband in my head. It was more permanent, a better marker for what he meant to me. I'm sure if I introduced him to humans as "my mate" they wouldn't understand the significance.

His eyes kept turning to mine. I smiled unable to keep the happiness from my face. I would be his tonight. My blush had been stained all day, fortunately allowing me to hide my more private thoughts from prying eyes. I turned in my seat to face him and reached my hand the remainder of the way to trace his cheek.

"I love you, Edward."

Edward stole the hand from his cheek, gracing each finger with a kiss. He turned my hand over, placed a kiss on my palm, and then my wrist. He placed sweet kisses up my wrist to the inside of my elbow, pulling me closer to reach. A trail of goose bumps rose where his lips left, marking his trail. I watched him closely completely entranced with his every breath.

My heart thudded loudly against my ribs, my breath was uneven, and a flush already covered my skin. I was ready for him to take me in whatever way he deemed. I looked forward to seeing what Edward would do with his control. I expected him to go overboard because of it. I narrowed my eyes slightly before asking him.

"Edward, you didn't go overboard or anything, right?"

Edward's laughter pulled things in me tighter; I squeezed my thighs together in reaction. He kissed my inner elbow again; clearly aware of the effect he was having on me. I focused on breathing; asking the thoughts to leave my head for the time being. I looked out the window hoping to be close to the house by now. I was happily surprised to see us turning off of the highway. Edward let my hand go and I used the movement to rest it on his thigh, teasing him as he had me earlier.

I played innocent, gripping high on his thigh while he shifted his legs, forcing me even higher. I turned slightly toward the front, allowing my hand to slide up and down his thigh as I readjusted. I gasped loudly when I felt his erection growing. I blushed not quite used to the perks of marriage, though I was sure Edward would happily supply such a list.

I leaned over the middle console to rest my head on his shoulder. I kissed his neck while I ran my fingers lightly over his erection. Edward's hiss of pleasure was the signal for my body to lose control. I rubbed him more roughly, much more urgently, as I leaned closer to taste him. I heard the car stop. Edward unbuckled me quickly and pulled me into his arms with a kiss. He walked us swiftly to the door with my hands curling in his hair and my lips pressing against his. I would be his tonight.

When we crossed the threshold of the door he moved me from my bridal position in his arms, until I was straddling him as he carried me up the stairs. The house was dark, no lights on, only the moonlight filtering through. When we reached his room he didn't let me down until we were inside. He shut the door behind me as I looked for the candles, flower petals, and other romantic paraphernalia that usually haunted love scenes.

"What no candles, or rose petals everywhere? I'm surprised Mr. Cullen."

Edward's face lit up in a smile but his eyes were smoldering when he turned to me. The room was the same as it always was. The bed was moved over slightly and the only lighting in the room was the clear moon outside. It was simple and perfect.

"No, Bella. I wanted to watch the moon dance across your skin. Everywhere the moon touches I will cover with my lips, until the moon is overcome with jealousy over my caress. I will claim each and every inch of you until the night fades away into the dawn of our forever."

I swallowed thickly. My heart accelerated as he spoke, speeding as his words intensified. I thought of those lips on my skin and I couldn't wait to see how long it would take until the moon turned away. I thought of the sun looking in the window, shadowing our bodies against the wall, and my heart sped further. He moved up against me pressing into me but not really touching. I longed for him, yearned to finally share this part of our love.

He leaned into me slowly, I watched anticipating the moment he'd complete the kiss. I could feel the coolness of his lips just outside of mine. If I opened my mouth to breathe we would kiss. If I pouted we would kiss. But like our first kiss as husband and wife, I wanted this one to be his choice. He blew his breath across my face and my eyes closed. He brought his lips nearly to mine letting me feel his against mine but not yet kissing.

"Edward."

His name was a deep sigh from my lips causing our lips to touch several times. He smiled against my lips before he kissed me deeply. He licked my bottom lip, still jutted out in a pout, and I opened my mouth to him. When his tongue entered my mouth he pulled my body closely into his chest. I could feel my breasts heaving against the stone wall of his chest. He wrapped his hands around my waist setting me into him as he swallowed my moan.

He broke the kiss before I could black out from bliss, letting his lips caress my face. He kissed my neck, right behind my ear, keeping his lips pressed against that spot until I could breathe. He sighed deeply against my neck and I shivered. I could feel his breath cooling the heat of my neck and blowing into my ear. It was such a simple gesture but I found my body spilling for him.

I felt, rather than saw, his smile. He kissed my neck slowly, languorously. We had barely started and he was already killing me with anticipation. This was not enough, not nearly enough. My head hung back allowing him whatever parts of my neck that suited him. He kissed just under my jaw and I shivered again. He removed his lips from my neck to kiss me deeply again, and I thought for a brief second, that if this was all that we did tonight it would be okay.

I had been exhausted when we left the reception but the idea of sleeping when I could be "sleeping" with Edward was ludicrous. I could sleep later, once my body could no longer keep up with my desires. I was sure that my desires for this man would never run out, never cool; it would only be postponed until I could have him again.

He let his lips off mine again and I pulled him back to me by his hair, also pulling a delicious moan from his throat. I couldn't kiss him as aggressively as I wanted, or as deeply, but I could still kiss him with all the love that I had. I let my feelings for him flow through me, filling my bones, my limbs, and my lips with my love. When our lips briefly parted he said my name like the sweetest song.

He pulled the straps of my dress down covering my exposed shoulders with his kisses. He moved to my collarbone and I shivered in his arms. He followed the natural V of the dress pressing his sweet lips to my cleavage. I suddenly wanted out of this dress. I reached behind me to unzip it but found my hands locked in Edwards. I smirked up at him, I remembered this game well. But he wasn't looking at me like he wanted to tie me up and make me squirm. His eyes said "I love you," "I want you," "I need you."

His eyes were darkening with lust and his smile was growing smug with the knowledge that this time he would really have me. While his gaze trapped mine he idly ran his fingers from one shoulder to the other, then down the curve of the dress and back. I was near trembling. I leaned into him unable to fully hold myself up. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me easily. My arms naturally wrapped around his neck and I used my position to brush kisses across his beautiful face.

He laid me on the bed gently, reverently, as if I was some deep treasure yet to be discovered. He remained above me, hovering as he looked down on me. His gaze ran across me, burning holes into me, making my blood boil to the surface. I was heating up, my skin flaming with my desire. I wanted him to take me and make me his. I was tired of waiting, but protesting this moment would be wrong. So I laid under his gaze watching him watching me.

When his topaz eyes met my brown eyes I felt the fire burning into my soul. I needed this man; I needed him to feel me, to complete me. My eyes widened with my need. I was in unmarked territory, trusting Edward to lead us wherever we would go tonight.

"My dearest, loveliest Bella, you are so beautiful that it takes my unnecessary breath away. It almost seems wrong to claim you as I wish to; but I will, I cannot wait any longer. My wife, my love, my life, I love you."

My breath let out with the soft sigh of his name. I loved him so much. I reached my hand up to trail across his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. I was no longer nervous, this felt right. This wasn't just about my lust, or my human hormones, this was something much deeper. I knew instinctively that it would never be quite like this time again, this made it easier to accept his slow lingering touches. I wanted to rush ahead and race to the end like the teens that we are. But I couldn't rush this, I couldn't rush our love. I had waited years for this moment and I would enjoy it.

My body relaxed once I decided to stop rushing. I closed my eyes and gave in to Edwards soft touches. He ran his hands over my dress tracing the silk into my skin. He leaned down, hovering over me without putting his weight on me, and kissed across my chest. He reached one hand under me to unzip the dress; removing it with the pace of his steady kisses.

Relaxed as I was by his touch I couldn't stop the heavy breathing or the deep moans emanating from me in waves. I opened my eyes to see him. Even those brief moments with my eyes closed seemed too long away from his features. Nothing existed except for us. He moved lower, pooling my dress low on my stomach. His kisses trailed across my stomach and I trembled. Small whimpers escaped me the lower he moved.

I accepted his touch for the caress that it was. But no amount of control would help me handle such soft caresses against my swelling need. His face leaned against where I wanted him most; he was taking deep pants of air, exhaling slowly.

"You are absolutely divine."

He leaned low and laid soft kisses down my center. The silk of my dress was rubbing softly against me. It was unlike any of my previous experiences but it was still incredible. He pulled my dress lower exposing the garter and stockings set I wore, inch by inch. He reached one hand down to hold the heel of my shoes while he pulled the dress from my body. He placed my heel on his chest while he kissed from my ankle to my knee. His hands were rubbing fire through my veins, sending throbbing aches through my bones.

"Please Edward."

I tried, but I was human after all. I needed him and there was only so much self-control in resisting Edward.

"Soon, my dearest wife, soon."

He spoke through the kisses he pressed against me. I moaned deeply. I closed my eyes focusing on breathing, hoping that would help me live through this pleasure. He unhooked my garter belt and pulled each shoe, then stocking, from my legs. His movements were so loving and precise that I couldn't help but watch him in awe. He was unwrapping me slowly; taking his time to prolong each movement.

"As wonderful as your touch feels, I want to touch you Edward."

"Bella, I have spent years imagining this moment. While you dreamed of me I dreamed, of what little I could call dreaming, of this. I dreamed of you becoming my wife, I dreamed of giving myself to you, and although it hurts me to say I dreamed of making you like me so that we could have forever. I have second-guessed myself constantly when it comes to you, but I cannot anymore. I need you so desperately I cannot pretend to exist outside of your arms. So please let me prolong this moment, let me enjoy making love to you."

When I was down only to my teddy, bra, and underwear, Edward leaned down against me. I wished that I could feel his weight pressing into me, but I would soon enough. Nothing could take these moments away from me, nothing could make them better. He kissed my breasts sweetly, removing the teddy as he had removed my dress. I moaned and whimpered whenever he reached the V of my hips. The spot was too sensitive, sending tingles down my spine.

I tried to reach my hands towards him but they felt heavy and unattached to me. My body was mush completely melted by Edward's passion. Edward moved his hand behind me deftly removing my bra. I tried to remember that he had already seen many parts of me in our explorations, or even worse through his sibling's minds, but I couldn't help feeling self-conscious. A heavy blush stained my skin, creeping down my body as the silence grew.

"Bella."

Edward's voice sounded pained. I panicked fearing that my blood was getting to him. I regarded his eyes first, they were gold, and I breathed a relieved sigh.

"Please understand that you are absolutely the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. You do not see yourself clearly; therefore you must allow me to do all the seeing until you can regain your sight fully. You are exquisite, I do not know if I can ever allow you to dress again."

I giggled; his smile was causing shivers against my breasts. He is just so wonderful. I held on to his arm, unable to lift my arm any higher, but still needing to touch him. He kissed my right breast softly, the barest of touches. My breasts felt heavier and had already hardened due to his touch. He brushed his fingers softly across each breast, pressing soft kisses sporadically onto my skin. His palm rubbed over my breast, then under and down my side, causing a deep moan to escape the prison of my body. He rubbed down my side, resting his hand on my hips, and his fingers idly played with the straps of my underwear.

I wasn't nervous when he edged my underwear off. I was ready for him. He was my husband and I was ready for him to seal that right. I watched him remove my panties, letting his fingers touch every part of my skin that he passed. He kneeled above me to remove his shirt. I watched completely entranced by the lines of his chest. He moved to his belt while my fingers traced the stone perfection of his chest. He had to stand to remove his shoes and pants. He unbuttoned slowly staring me down as he removed each piece of cloth that robbed me of his skin. My heart was thudding in my chest, almost painfully.

"Breathe Bella."

Oh, that's why it's painful. My lungs reached for air hoarding whatever I could get. My chest rocked with my heavy pants. I was beyond my point of control; it was much more than need now. I had to grab the sheets between my hands to keep from attacking him. Edward shirtless is glorious, but naked Edward. I shivered, he was magnificent. I had never thought a man could be so very beautiful. Each hard line of his body called me to trace it and find where the path led. My hungry eyes trailed down the many paths of his muscles overwhelmed with my many options.

I blinked and he was above me. He leaned down against me, without weight, and my whole body shuddered. His naked skin was touching mine, there was so much pleasure that I was hurting myself to stay sane. I was digging my stubby nails into my palms to bring myself down from waves of desire that were overwhelming me. He kissed me deeply, eating my moans. He looked deep into my eyes asking me if I was ready. I couldn't argue about this, I had no time to wait; I needed him inside me now.

"Please Edward, please, please, please."

"Oh God Bella, anything you wish, anything for you."

He rubbed his full length against me slowly, spreading my lips with his fingers, preparing me for his massive penis. Somewhere in my mind I remembered that this was meant to hurt, but the pleasure he brought me made that thought ludicrous to me. He pushed two fingers into me; I reacted violently, too close to the edge even before he entered me. My body quaked with my orgasm; I arched my back so high I probably could have split in half. Edward's other hand supported me under my back pulling me deeper to him, and him deeper in to me.

"Edward please."

I was pleading desperately for him to stop torturing me; I seriously needed him inside me.

"Bella, you ask me that as I feel you shudder around my fingers. I cannot help but want to feel every last shudder of your body. Watch as your back arches, making those beautiful breasts even more tempting. The way you bite your lip and your head tilts back exposing your wondrous neck. The way you squeeze on to whatever part of me you can reach. And your delicious moans or the sound of my name repeated off of those luscious lips. How could I stop?"

"Edward please, please, I need to feel you inside me. Let me say your name that way with you inside me."

I knew that would have an effect on him but I doubted that the response would be immediate. Edward removed his fingers, placing his erection against my opening. I didn't bother to argue with him, I pushed down. It was more pain than I expected but not enough to stop me from trying to get him completely inside me. He moved into me gently, spreading me slowly for him. My whole body felt like it was making room to fit him. But for the first time in my life I felt deeply satisfied. This is what I needed. He pushed forward until he reached my barrier. This time I would give him all the time he needed; I wouldn't push his control, yet.

"Bella, I'm going to break through, I'm sorry if it hurts. I will clean up any blood immediately; I won't hurt you I promise, at least not more than is necessary."

I ran my hand down his cheek, brushing along his neck.

"Edward, don't worry, I trust you. I love you; take as long as you need."

His smile was breathtaking and annoyingly smug.

"I plan on taking all my time with you Bella, especially like this."

He moved his hips just slightly to emphasize that he was inside me and I moaned deeply. It had been slightly unpleasant until that movement. I knew that my eyes were lust ridden when I looked at him but I was beyond my point of control.

"Please Edward, stop teasing me, and make love to me. If it's not enough you can have me again, as often as you want, just please."

He leaned down to kiss me as he pushed into my last barrier. I gasped into his mouth; he used that to enter his tongue in mine. It was shocking the pleasure and pain mixing. I was unsure of what I felt more of. I had felt so much pleasure I was near pain, and pain that became pleasure. Everything that he did to me was good, so I figured that this explained why this felt so incredible.

He pulled out of me and a groan of displeasure escaped my lips. I clamped my lips tight holding on to my protests. Edward disappeared and reappeared just as quickly. He wiped my vagina carefully. He cleaned himself with another cloth and disappeared to dispose of them. I laid on the bed, my legs spread, waiting for him to fill me up again. He was back over me before my body could lose the heat from his passionate touches. He took my lips into his as he entered me more quickly.

He thrust into me gaining speed infinitesimally, but causing bliss to spread through my body with each movement. He kissed my lips deeply, kissing my neck and breasts when I needed air. When the pain completely disappeared I feared for a minute that I might float away with my bliss. I had nothing grounding me, everything he did to me sent me soaring. I was building towards my climax I could feel it coming, but it felt different than what I had felt before.

He moved faster into me, moving his hips to the side slightly. The movement caused him to hit me in just the right way and I clamped my legs around his waist in ecstasy. My back flew into the heavens as I lost myself to the pleasure. Edward held my back in his hands supporting my body as I contorted in ecstasy. He was spreading kisses across my breasts lowering to my stomach, wherever he could reach. I came back to myself slowly, the continued pleasure he was giving me was prolonging my flight.

He was kissing my breath away, stealing pieces of me to take as his own. Each kiss that he pressed against my fevered skin melded us closer together. I felt as if I was floating, only weighted down by the lips lingering on me. I ran my hands through his hair, pulling until he lifted his head from my stomach to look at me. I let him see into my eyes, deep inside me. I have always been an open book, but Edward more than anyone has learned to decipher my thoughts, my emotions, through my face and especially my eyes.

His gaze was thick, trapping me, but I wanted him to see what he had given me. My body felt like a cage keeping me from getting closer to him. If I could crawl inside him to be closer, I probably would. I felt as if my very being was reaching out to him in a siren's call to come closer, ever closer. My back was stuck in a permanent arch, but I forced my head to stay up and my eyes to stay open so he could see. Every touch brought us closer, intimately melding us into one.

I could feel my soul reaching for him, but even more amazing was that I could feel the caress of his soul meeting mine. The tears filled my eyes, it was overwhelming to feel so much and be trapped by my body. He was so beautiful, his very soul was beautiful. How he could ever believe that he lacked one or that he was damned was a mystery to me.

In that moment I understood what it was like to share souls. His kisses, his fingers, his thrusts, reached into me claiming my entire being. I knew that I was his. The tears in my eyes spilled over as I realized that I would always be his. My soul had found its home, and I would never be lost again. I let all those thoughts fill my eyes as I stared deep into Edward's eyes.

I let my eyes say in that moment what my voice could not; I love you, I'm home now, you're home now. Edward understood, not needing to say anything but the sweet chorus of "Bella" and "I love you." His voice was a soft melody to the slow movement of our melding. My heart was expanding, almost painful because of the overwhelming love I felt for this man, my husband.

I wanted him to orgasm inside me, but he wouldn't this time. We both knew the risks, perhaps next time. I wanted him to feel the pleasure he gave me, to lose him in the bliss of being connected. I couldn't stop touching him, kissing him. I loved every inch of him. He picked up his speed grunting as my breasts jumped from the movement. It wasn't rough but it was the closest he got to touching me the way I had wanted him too all night. I felt small shakes of pleasure, shuddering repeatedly as it built into another orgasm.

Edward was making the most beautiful sounds. Deep throaty moans escaping from his lips. His eyes closed and his head fell back. I wanted to do so many things to him, but in this moment I knew that he needed to feel my love. I leaned on my elbows to bring myself closer to him. I whispered sweet nothings against his face and neck as I kissed him. I needed him to know how much he meant to me. He was no longer separate from me, he was a part of me, and I could never exist without him. He moaned deeply and I lost myself again to the throes of Edward induced passion.

I forced myself back quicker. I didn't want to miss his pleasure, nothing was as beautiful. He moved against me, my body rocking with his, in our own dance. I loved the feeling of having him inside me, but even more than that was the feeling that we were connected. I whispered my love for him again a sweet mantra from my lips. He needed to know. He kissed me deeply and I felt his body shake. He pulled himself from me and I watched in amazement as he orgasmed. His moan was a deep growl low in his chest. His body shook and his eyes closed tightly. His head hung back. I watched as a small amount of liquid covered my stomach.

I ran my fingers across his arms to help ease his tension. He was still softly muttering my name. I was so deeply moved, so deeply in love with him, that this was all I ever needed. If he didn't want to change me now, I wouldn't force it on him. Everything was his choice; I would be happy with whatever would make him happy. He eased into my touch. He hovered over me, not touching, except for his head that hung over my breasts. When he regained full control of his body he kissed my breasts before he got up and disappeared again.

I was annoyed that he would leave me so quickly but choked on my anger as I saw the lovely site of Edward naked and holding a cloth to clean me up. He wiped me up as gently as he had earlier. I ran my fingers through his hair just needing to continue touching him. He ran away and appeared at my side before I could protest. He took me into my arms kissing me deeply. I shifted to turn into him and felt the dull throb of my aching center. I let the small "ouch" escape me, and immediately regretted it.

"Are you hurt, what is it Bella, please I cannot lose you."

His voice was all panic and pain. I reached my hand out to stop his lips before he could threaten the world over my lost virginity. I smiled deeply satisfied at how I lost said virginity.

"Husband, I am fine. I'm a little sore from losing my virginity but perhaps we can continue this after a bath?"

I raised my eyebrows suggestively a few times causing a beautiful and joyous laugh to come from Edward.

"You my lovely wife, must lay there. I shall draw us a bath."

I sighed into the sheets inhaling his scent. I didn't want to wash his scent from me. I could smell it everywhere and it made me feel safe and whole. But the warmth would ease my dull aches. Edward ran to the bed and scooped me up before I saw him coming. My squeal of surprise echoed in the quiet house as he led me to the bath.

There are so many ways to show love. The way he kisses me, touches me, the way he treats me. But all those reasons paled in the comparison of the love that radiated off of him as he washed my body. He rubbed the cloth against my skin as gently as a mother to a newborn. Not because I was fragile or breakable to him, but because I was precious. I hugged him to me as I lay in front of him. I didn't care if the water froze. Every moment with Edward was precious and these moments were his to claim.

We exited the tub once the water cooled. My body was ready for Edward again but he refused to risk my health. I sighed into his arms as we laid on the bed together. We lay facing each other, still only wrapped in towels, as the sun rose. I watched the dawn break by the sparkles glowing off of Edward's marble skin. Only glitters of his skin shone but the higher the sun climbed the more Edward glowed. I ran my fingers over every sparkle, forcing his towel to banishment on the floor. He pulled me to his chest and I lost my battle with sleep. I had made it until dawn, I had fulfilled his wish, and I was his wife. The smile on my face lasted long into my dreams.

* * *

Sigh This is my favorite chapter. I am excited to finally have you guys read it. I would really like to hear your input on this one. Excuse me while I go kiss my hubby now.

Say


	15. Morning After

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I didn't wake to the sun's rays, or to a chorus of singing angels. I awoke to the spectacular feeling of Edward's lips pressing against my face. I groaned, unwilling to part with the last few ounces of sleep and curled my body closer to his coolness. I heard the delicious sound of his laughter and felt the vibrations of his amusement against my chest. He kissed my lids, the smile still on his face; I didn't have to see it to know it was there.

"Awake my angel; I cannot bear another second without seeing your lovely eyes."

My eyelids opened as commanded. I couldn't resist the pull of his voice. My eyes found his instantly, as he pulled me into him by his smoldering gaze.

"How did you sleep? Do you hurt anywhere?"

He ran his hands over the skin on my back, alerting me that I was completely naked under the sheets. Edward had wrapped a heavy quilt around him but left only a sheet to cover me. I looked up at him in question.

"I slept wonderfully, as I always do in your arms. I don't hurt at all, I told you that this morning. Why am I only covered by a sheet, but you have a quilt?"

Edward's laughter echoed through his room, settling deep into my bones. I squirmed in his arms, still not as close to him as I wanted to be.

"My lovely wife, I found that I couldn't quite part with your beautiful body. I used the heavy blanket to keep my cold from your lusciously warm body. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to watch your every curve as you moaned my name in your sleep, it was a very enticing site."

I blushed faintly, my body's natural reaction, as I tried to remember my dreams. My blush grew darker as realization hit me. I had spent my unconsciousness dreaming about the many ways I could take control of Edward's body. My eyes scanned his perfection with a will of their own. I pulled the heavy quilt from his body, banishing it to the floor. I pushed myself closer to him. Edward captured my lips immediately and as amazing as his kiss was I forced myself to pull away.

"I believe that your night is over, it's my turn to be in charge. I need a human minute."

I pulled my body away from him, too trapped in his eyes to realize that I stood completely nude in front of him. I watched completely entranced, as his smile grew large and crooked. I raised my eyebrows in a silent demand.

"And what, Mr. Cullen, has you smiling so deviously?"

"Why Mrs. Cullen, I believe that it's your fault. Standing there as you are, I cannot help my thoughts from turning devious."

I looked down following the fires of his gaze to see my naked form. I blushed crimson and ran clumsily to the restroom. I brushed my teeth as I waited for the water to heat. I watched the steam fill the room as my thoughts wandered to Edward; to the gloriously naked Edward, still lying on our bed. Our. We were married everything was ours now.

I never imagined that I would be so gloriously happy to be married. I always imagined I would dread words like husband or wife. That I would somehow be unhappy in marriage, but even my short marriage was enough to tell me that I had made the right choice. Everything about Edward made me happy and that included being married to him. He was exquisite and being his made me happier than I had ever been before. I smiled and stepped into the steaming shower.

I sighed as the heat loosened my muscles. I washed my hair slowly, enjoying the warmth pounding down my body. I turned fully in the shower to rinse off all the shampoo, opening my eyes to see Edward. I squealed in surprise. He laughed boisterously, sounding more like Emmett than Edward.

"I couldn't resist joining you. I wouldn't want to waste natural resources when we could conserve."

I giggled at his lame excuse for joining me.

"I'm sure the call to conserve water was much more tempting than the call of your naked wife."

His smile turned crooked and devious. He took the conditioner from my hands and poured a small amount onto his palm. He massaged the conditioner into my hair with the same gentleness he had used the night before. He turned the water slightly hotter and then turned my body into him. He washed my body with a sensual but soft touch. I found it hard to stand on my own, resting against his cool stone chest to keep myself upright. He turned me around so that the spray of water could wash the suds from my skin. Our chests pressed against each other and I moaned.

I reminded myself that it was my turn to take control, but his cool skin had the frustrating ability to strip me of all thoughts. Although he had finished washing my body, his hands continued to roam. I gathered all my will and forced my eyes to open. One step at a time was all that I needed. If I focused on anything other than what I wanted to do to him I would cave.

I stilled his hands and grabbed the shampoo to wash his bronze locks. I loved to run my fingers through his silken hair. I loved the untamed curl to his hair, the way it never obeyed him, and always fell into his eyes. I rinsed his hair and continued to condition it. I played with his hair while the conditioner tamed it to my will. I made pigtails and Mohawks, giggling with each new ridiculous styling of his hair. Edward groaned begging me to rinse his hair and I allowed it, only because I knew that I could play this game again.

I washed his body with the same gentle touch that he had used on me. I couldn't ignore his growing erection but I treated that just as softly. I may have cleaned that part of him more excessively than any other, but he was really dirty. My smile grew just as devious with each impatient huff my love let out. He allowed me to wash him slowly, until I focused too long on his erection. Edward took the cloth from my hands and turned himself to clear the suds from his body.

He turned off the water and stepped out into the bathroom to grab towels. He ran the towel over his chest, arms, legs, and hair. I stood, completely unable to move, as I watched the towel rub his skin. I watched a trail of water leak from his hair down his gorgeous chest and the urge to lick it away overwhelmed me. I moved forward before I could catch up to my body, stumbling out of the tub and into his arms.

Edward laughed and used my position to lean in and kiss me passionately. I moaned and pulled him closer to me by his wet locks. The water still covering my body, and his coolness, caused me to shake with cold. He grabbed another towel and dried my body with extreme care. I loved the way that every touch from him was with the utmost love. He could brush my hair and make it more loving than a kiss.

My gentle thoughts were rudely scattered when Edward ran the towel across my core. He seemed to think that needed more excessive drying than the rest of me. Perhaps as I thought he needed more excessive cleaning. I sucked in air when he dropped the towel to the floor to replace it with his fingers. My hair was soaked leaving trails of water down my back. I focused on the cold shivers down my spine rather than the heat that was growing from my center.

I reached for the towel and wrapped my hair in it; ignoring Edward as best I could with my pounding heart and flushed skin. He smiled at my attempts to seem unaffected and used more pressure to affect my charade. I burned for him, but I focused on my next step. I moved away from his body and walked carefully back to the bed. Edward growled deep and low and I giggled as I stumbled to the bed.

"Where do you think you're going Mrs. Cullen? I wasn't done with you, yet."

I giggled again, instead of answering; I beckoned Edward with my fingers. I used my best "come hither" look, hoping to make him come to me. He ran to me as I lay back upon the bed. Edward pounced on top of me and I squealed again. He covered my skin in kisses, placing his lips wherever he could reach. I relaxed into his touch allowing him this one moment before I would take control. His hands roamed, bringing the fires from deep inside me to the surface. When he placed his hand on my core I jerked upright.

"No, this time I'm in charge Edward, you only asked for one night."

I knew my smile was devious, but my thoughts were growing wicked with possibilities on what I could do to this very luscious man. He ignored me and rubbed his hands against me. I moaned both in pleasure and frustration. I grinned widely when I finally decided on a course of action. I sat so that I was resting on my knees, and guided Edward to lie on his back. I straddled him and leaned low to whisper into his ear.

"When I was at the spa I had the most interesting daydream. Would you like to hear it?"

I felt the throb of his erection against my hip as I leaned into him. I felt powerful and sexy. I knew that he was under my control and I couldn't wait to have my way with him.

"I would love to hear anything you have on your mind, Bella."

I rubbed my body against him and leaned into his neck to tell him.

"I thought of you at your piano, playing for me, as I had my way with you."

I reached my hands down to rub his penis before I spoke again.

"I took your cock into my mouth as you played for me, and I loved the taste of you."

His whole body tensed and he growled deep in his chest. I pulled him roughly, the reality much better than the fantasy. Edward's body was all stone but I liked the shape and feel of this hardness. I moved languorously enjoying the feel of each muscle.

"Do you think you would like for me to show you Edward?"

I knew I was playing unfair, but he had done it to me, one too many times. I wanted to make his world spin.

"Yes Bella, yes. I think I will understand much better if you show me."

I was annoyed that he was still coherent; I wanted his words to falter. I rubbed my naked skin against his and kissed my way lower. I rubbed as much of myself against him as I could manage. I lingered on the trail of hair that started under his belly button. Each time I breathed against his trail his stomach muscles would tense. I enjoyed watching his varying responses. Especially the hiss I could elicit by licking the V of his hips. I grew tired of my own game, wanting to taste him. I wanted to know if my day dream was accurate, if I could take that much of him into my mouth.

I didn't bother to play; I had worked up his anticipation plenty. A steady purr was coming from his chest. I licked the length of him, just to see if he tasted as I remembered. He was delicious but watching the play of his muscles react to my tongue made me want more. I covered him with my mouth, moaning because of the taste and feel of him. We rarely kissed this way, he would enter my mouth but I could never enter his. This was the deepest kiss I could manage.

I was excited to see if my dream were anything like reality. I wanted to make him moan, I wanted him to want me with his whole body. I swallowed him, turning my head to the side slightly to see him better, and to take more of him in. I relaxed my breathing, which had grown deeper with my excitement. I kept him inside my mouth while I gained control of myself. Once I relaxed fully I tried to swallow more of him.

His body shook and his moan came from deep within him. He was panting my name. I released him only to swallow him again. I didn't want him to finish, I didn't want to do anything more than taste him for as long as I could handle. Edward was begging for release, his body pushing upwards slightly in a silent plea.

"No, Edward I want to swallow you whole and I haven't done that yet."

He moaned again but I ignored his agitation to take him deeper into my mouth. I breathed in deeply before covering him with my mouth. I could feel him in my throat, my muscles constricting around him, my body trying to force him out. I breathed in through my nose before I pushed further. I managed to take him deep enough to kiss his balls. I smiled but stopped quickly to keep control of my mouth. I released him slowly; I didn't want to not have in inside me.

"Would you do something for me Edward?"

I kissed his stomach as I waited.

"Anything Bella."

His answer was prompt and breathy.

"Would you play something for me now?"

He groaned in frustration and I focused on not giggling.

He stood quickly, picking me up bridal style and running downstairs. He sat at the piano bench, leaving me in his arms. I giggled because of his agitation and my giggles grew when he started to play. He was playing Chopin in vampire speed. I spread kisses across his chest, squirming to straddle him. My amusement grew with each impatient sigh, huff, and groan that escaped his lips.

"Play my song and play it properly Edward, if you're a good boy I'll give you a reward."

Edward broke one of his own rules by changing the song mid chord. My laughter echoed throughout the house but I couldn't hold it in anymore. He was forced to relax his arms enough to play and I took advantage to straddle him. I kissed every piece of his skin that I could. My song was a beautiful melody echoing around us.

"I love the way you play, it is gorgeous Edward."

My breath fanned out in a sigh. He was so amazing. I lowered myself to the floor slowly, still lost to the sound of my song. When my knees touched the floor I spread my kisses across his legs. He was still hard and erect, waiting for me. I sucked on him. He was delicious and I was learning which kisses he liked more than others.

When I moved my tongue to lick the head of his shaft, while he was still inside my mouth, he shook. When I pulled him in and out of me he didn't respond as well. I could tell that he liked it but it didn't shatter his world, and I wanted to make him shatter. Every breath that I took around him, as he stayed deep inside me, touching my throat, caused him to shake and groan in pleasure. I focused on swallowing him and my tongue licked at him every time I managed to take him deeper.

He was shaking, his moans deep and constant. I loved the way he said my name. I heard the sound of the song ending before I realized he had picked me up. He placed me on the keys, the sounds of each random chord ringing in the air. He rubbed his throbbing erection against me, my thighs were soaked. I wanted him desperately, but I wanted to control it this time.

"You're playing with me Bella."

I smiled against his lips.

"You didn't seem to mind it a minute ago."

"You know exactly what you're doing. I want you Bella, I want you now."

I could feel his need and my own need grew because of it.

"Then take me Edward."

I felt myself being moved but couldn't open my eyes to look. Edward's lips had captured mine. I felt the soft mattress of his bed under my back. I opened my eyes to see Edward hovering over me, weightless, while his kisses spread all over me. I smiled coyly.

"I wasn't done with you; you're still not in charge. Lay down."

My command was clear, but I was still unsure if Edward would follow it. I was a little surprised to see him on his back, almost as quickly as it took me to voice the command. He was glorious, spread like that for me. I crawled over him, kissing wherever I passed. I hovered my sex over his before I leaned in to whisper another command.

"Would you give me whatever I wanted Edward?"

His hands were rubbing my ass, trying to pull me closer to him. I moaned but refused to give in, yet.

"Anything you want Bella, it's yours."

I fell on him; I was still so very tight. It wasn't smooth or painless, but each inch that I forced made me shake with pleasure. I wanted this desperately. His eyes were watching my breasts as they bounced with each grind of my hips. I was still going slower than I wanted but still faster than he had moved the night before. He was deep inside of me because of my position; I lay against his chest so I could move more freely.

It felt amazing to be so close to him. I rode him, my breasts rubbing against his chest as I stared into his eyes. He was breathtaking. I stretched so I was sitting above him. As beautiful as he looked as I lay against his chest, his eyes grew smoldering as he watched my chest as I rode him. I was soaked for him and it made it easier to move. I moved hard and fast against him. My eyes closed rolling to the back of my head; my head fell following the path of my eyes.

"I want you to cum inside me Edward."

I rode him faster; afraid his tenseness would force us to stop. His whole body froze with my demand. I brought his hands to feel my breasts.

"You promised. I'm on top, wouldn't that make it easier? Oh please Edward."

I begged with each movement of my hips. I wanted to feel him spill inside me. He didn't need to know that I had a plan even bigger than that. I saw his nod. I didn't wait for him to second guess it. I rode him passionately, desperately seeking our release. His moans grew louder, my legs trembled. He brought his hands to my hips, using them to keep my pace. I whispered his name, a mantra from my lips.

I felt his body tense before his orgasm. I watched each movement he made as he spilled inside of me. I rode him faster, wanting to have every drop of him. I shook, my own orgasm stilling my movements as I finally released. I screamed his name, unable to control myself any longer.

He gently moved me to lie beside him, my body still trembled. His body was still tensed from his recent release. I knew that it had taken him great control to do as I asked but I wanted just one more thing and I had to be sure he could handle it.

"I want you to make love to me when you bite me."

I had planned to be a little more tactful but the haze of lust still clouded my thoughts. He stood from the bed, the anger tensing the muscles in his back that I could see. I expected this reaction but I knew now that he could do it.

"I know what you're going to say Edward. Do you think I would ask it of you if I didn't believe you could do it? If I didn't trust you?"

"Bella, you don't know what you ask of me, it's too much."

His voice was deep and angrier than he had spoken to me in a while. He only got this way when my safety was involved. I rolled my eyes but struggled to explain myself before he could adamantly decline.

"Edward, please. I know that you can handle it now. I know you're afraid but I think it might help you."

"How could that possibly help me Bella?"

He was facing me now, his breath heaving with his anger.

"You always use your love for me to protect me. When you sucked James's venom from my blood you only managed to stop because of your love for me. If we were in an embrace that even your vampire side could recognize it might make it easier to pull back. I know that it will take more control but I just thought it might help you pull back."

I watched his breathing relax as he considered what I said. I wasn't naïve enough to think that would change his mind, but I wanted him to think about it.

"Honestly, you said that my blood was the deepest ecstasy, I just wanted to feel your pleasure inside me."

I walked closer to him with each word, ending my sentence with my lips pressing against him. He moaned and I smiled.

"Just ask Alice, have her look at both options. Whatever you decide is fine, I just thought I'd ask."

He visibly relaxed when he realized I wasn't demanding and he still had time to think. He lifted me and brought me back to the bed. I gasped in surprise to find myself horizontal.

"For scaring me, I think I deserve a reward."

I giggled but was happy to oblige. He could have control this time; at least he was considering my question. I only hoped that Alice wouldn't see anything too bad.


	16. Silence

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

My breath was panting with exertion. I wanted him. Edward was driving my blood to higher hotter temperatures. He had pulled me to the bed, demanding that I give in to him. I had wanted to give him control but the ability to touch him the way I wanted had sent all thoughts of submission from my mind. I wanted him to scream my name, to shake with pleasure, to lose himself in me.

This new power, to give him such pleasure, was still too new for me to know how to use it. I only knew what I wanted and I was willing to do anything to get him there. My willingness, I hoped would overcome my inexperience.

We were fighting for control, each of us trying to make the other bend to our way of pleasure. Edward's lips captured mine, stealing what air I had. My body shook with my need for air, my need for him. We were wrapped up in each other, our limbs entwined. We were lying on the bed, both on our sides because neither seemed to be able to stay on top. I wanted to ride him into the floor, watch as his face would explode in ecstasy.

Edward wanted to make me scream and writhe in the way that only he could. But his love-making was slow and torturous. I couldn't stand another night of his soft lingering touches. I wanted him, needed to feel him fast and hard. There was not enough patience in the world to live through another slow love-making. Every soft touch Edward placed on my skin, I returned with the rough press of my hands. I was ripping, twisting, scratching at his marble skin. I needed him to feel my need.

Edward groaned and growled with every attempt I made to hurt him. I knew he was safe from any harm and that pressed me to try harder. I wasn't trying to hurt him; I was only trying to show him my desperation. I was pleading softly as I fought to straddle him. I couldn't make out my mumbles but my voice acted on its own accord. Every part of my body needed him.

Edward turned me so that I was on my back as he hovered over me. He wasn't playing fair, using his strength and kisses to disorient me. I groaned annoyed that he had won this battle, before I attempted to turn. He held his arms around me like a cage. Every twist and turn my torso made caused my breasts to rub his chest. He growled deep and low and I felt myself spilling for him.

It always astounded me what things he could do to make me wet for him. It wasn't that my breasts were hard and heavy. It wasn't that he was naked pressing against me. What had me moaning his name was the way he growled his desire.

He was playing with me, pulling his lips out of reach every time I tried to kiss him. He kissed my breasts too softly, forcing a growl from my throat. He laughed, a dark throaty sound, when he heard my cheap imitation of a growl. I was deeply annoyed, frustrated with him for being stronger than me, for having more control. He was in so much trouble.

He leaned in to kiss me and my lips parted. I was angry but that didn't stop me from caving to his every wish. I might just die from pleasure, but oh what a way to go. He was leaning over my lips, tempting but not delivering. I reached my head up and took his lips. I bit his lower lip, wishing partly that I could cause him just a little pain. He moaned and I felt the vibration of it caress my body.

His hands were devouring my skin, no longer teasing touches. He was pressing into my skin much harder than he would normally. Every push made me moan, causing a song of incoherent babbling to echo in his room. He spread my legs, not asking for consent, and pushed a finger into me. I rocked my hips into his hand, continuing to sing for him.

"Edward take me now or else!"

I was done with the teasing. I needed him to fill my insides, make me whole. I couldn't wait another second. I was pleading with my words and body, everything about me was begging him to push inside me. He gazed at me with dark lust lidded eyes and I shook.

"Please, please, please, whatever you want just please."

I realized after I had said it that I would later regret that. He had quite the bargaining tool now, making me agree to things while in the throes of passion. I mentally added that to my list of things to think about later and focused back on the god above me. He lowered his erection to press against my core. He didn't push into me; he didn't rub me, no he just stayed there.

"What are you waiting for?"

He laughed, it sounded as deep and throaty as earlier.

"Promise that you will follow my commands."

"Sure, I promise, just take me Edward."

"I have a surprise for you; promise you'll accept it graciously."

"Anything, sure, I promise. If you don't put that beautiful cock inside me I'm going to scream."

He laughed again and I shook in anger. I didn't have time to contemplate revenge on him because I felt the pleasure of his penis pushing into me. Every time I felt him thrust into me, I would be amazed by the way it made my whole body feel. It wasn't that he was just filling that need. It was like he was making all of me his. My body would throb and shake for him, aching until he touched me. Every place we touched lit another fire of need for him.

"Bella, I'm going to move your legs, I need you to stop thrusting and let me control it."

I groaned but had to give in, I had promised. He lifted my legs to rest on his shoulders, as he held my hips in his hands. His thrusts were slow but deep. I moaned from low in my stomach. I wanted to push against him and force him deeper, but he had told me not to.

"Open your eyes Bella."

I opened my heavy lids to look at him. He was breathtaking, forcing me to pant for air. He was looking down from his kneeled position above me. His gaze was dark and possessive. The claim in his eyes made my blood boil and tightened muscles deep inside me. I watched his eyes as they moved all over my body, taking in every piece of me.

"Now cum for me Bella."

I would like to say that I didn't give in to his demand as easily as he demanded it, but that would be a lie. The moment the words formed in my mind I was shaking in pleasure. The feel of his deep slow thrusts, the look in his eyes, and his desire for me to orgasm right then, sent me over the edge.

"Scream for me Bella."

I wasn't in a state to tell whether I was screaming or not, but I understood enough to know that I was lost. I was blinded by the light behind my lids. My limbs felt heavy and unattached. My back arched forcing his penis to hit me at just the right spot. That pleasure on top of my already shaking orgasm sent me further over the edge.

It took me a long time to close my mouth to stop screaming his name. The pleasure was so much that I had to dig my nails into my palms to find my way back. I couldn't open my eyes because seeing him would send me back over the edge. His lips were kissing my ankles and the added pleasure was difficult to endure.

"I'm going to cum inside you Bella, stay as still as you can."

I shuddered, my muscles constricting around him. My body wanted to just pull him all inside me. I crossed my arms under my breasts, digging my nails into my forearms to stabilize myself. The pain helped me handle the pleasure. I wouldn't miss his finish; there was nothing more beautiful to me. I watched him, desperately clinging to my arms, with the need to orgasm building.

My body was tense and heavy with need. I watched the way his body moved, the way his head tilted, and the fall of his bronze locks. He was gorgeous and he was my husband. His body tensed, stilling, before he spilled into me. He hardly moved. I watched the tight lines of concentration on his face. It pained me that he had to be so controlled in a moment of such passion. I could not wait until he could throw himself willingly over the edge.

My body jumped off the edge without my consent. I contorted, blinded, and flying. I was brought back to myself by Edward's sweet caress. He was brushing his hands across my arms, pulling my hands from my skin, before I could bleed. His lips kissed lightly across my skin and I sighed in pleasure.

"Can I come in now?"

I jumped, completely startled by Alice's voice. I focused on not thinking about what had just happened, but the blush grew anyway.

"No, go away Alice."

I heard her laugh, and felt the shaking of Edward's chest as he laughed.

"Get in the shower Bella; we have to pack up this room now. We'll never make it to Alaska with the way you two go at it."

I sighed, why couldn't we just have some alone time? I trotted to the shower with little enthusiasm. I would miss Forks, but it wasn't the leaving that had me upset. It was that our alone time was so quickly interrupted. Weren't we allowed a honeymoon? Well, I wouldn't mind being a vampire for said honeymoon.

I showered with a quickness I used whenever Edward was waiting. I didn't care if this would be the last shower I'd ever have here, Edward was on the other side of that door and I needed to be nearer to him. In a matter of minutes I was showered, hopping around in my towel as I tried to brush my teeth. I looked like one of those stooges episodes, except I wasn't trying to look that way.

I ran the brush through my hair and threw the brush over my shoulder to land on the counter. I walked as quickly as I could back to my love. I opened the door to find Alice grinning widely at me. I groaned but accepted the clothing from her. I shut the door to dress quickly, flinging my towel over the bar, to run back to Edward. I stopped in my tracks, shocked to find the room empty. Edward stood in the center of the barren room.

"How did you guys pack that fast?"

"We're vampires silly Bella."

I still couldn't fathom packing a full room in 10 minutes but then again I hadn't asked how many vampires it took. I'm sure just Edward or Alice could pull it off. I walked the length of the room, reminiscing about the many moments we had shared here. I would miss this place. My heart felt heavier but I still couldn't wait to leave.

I felt more guilt than grief to leave my life. I was so anxious to move on that I felt guilty that I didn't hurt more. It just felt right to be leaving, to be leaving with Edward. The idea of staying with my family, living without Edward, was too painful to consider. I hoped that my family would be happy, that my friends would find love, but I had no other reason to grieve.

I was still fighting internally about which side was in charge. In a way I wanted to grieve and suffer in the way that was expected, so I could get over it. But I didn't hurt like I expected to. I had spent months saying goodbye, long before I set the date. Inside I felt like I was wronging those I loved, but it felt even more wrong to grieve during my honeymoon.

Edward pulled me into his arms. We stood in silence, surrounded by the emptiness, but our love encompassed the silence. I held him to me, taking in the last moments in this life. I knew once we left my life was essentially over. I couldn't find it in me to be upset. The smile on my face was wide and sure. Edward kissed the top of my head and took my hand to lead me downstairs.

"Close your eyes Bella."

I would've argued but we both knew that he would win eventually. I closed my eyes and followed the pull of his hands. I didn't fear tripping because Edward was guiding me. Every time I would stumble he would catch me before I could fall. He led me out of the house, down the porch, to stand out front. I wanted to take one last look at the house before leaving, but figured I could give him this too.

"Open your eyes Bella."

I did as told, my breath caught in my throat. I knew he would get me a car, but that didn't make me like it. A blue coupe was in front of me. I figured it was an Audi because Edward had waxed poetic about that car multiple times. I couldn't form words; the frog in my throat caught any sound that I managed to make. My mouth opened and closed for a few minutes before Edward stepped in.

"It's your Audi, Bella. I had Rosalie make a few custom changes, and obviously I got a specialty color. What do you think?"

He stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and pressing his lips into my neck as he spoke. My body shivered. His proximity reminded me that I had promised multiple times not to get upset with him for buying this car. I expected it.

"It's beautiful, but what about the Volvo and the Vanquish?"

"Don't worry love they're taken care of. I thought you might want to drive some of the way. Test out your new car."

I turned quickly in his arms to kiss him, he was so thoughtful. He handed me the keys and opened the driver's side door for me, before running over to the passenger side to sit. The car was roomy inside and had more features than anything I had ever owned. I petted the dashboard, my way of saying hello to my new baby. I would miss the truck but it would never make it to Alaska.

I started the car, amazed by the quiet purr; I wouldn't miss the loud rumbling of the truck. It maneuvered like a dream and I found it easy to press the speed limit. I didn't drive excessive speeds like Edward would, but I kept a steady 10 mph over the posted limit. My enthusiasm to drive quieted the longer we drove. I was getting sleepy. It seemed that all I had done recently was Edward and sleep. I smiled to myself for such delicious thoughts.

We pulled over 4 hours into our trip to feed me. I had been skipping too many meals to devour Edward; he wouldn't cave on taking me to a sit down dinner. The food was decent but of course the wait staff couldn't stop flirting with my husband. I growled every time one of the women spoke to him. Edward was highly amused but he stayed ever the perfect gentleman.

When we got back on the road I easily fell into sleep. The seats were comfortable and I had plenty of room. I was exhausted and the haze of travel made it harder to keep my lids open. I awoke sometime latter to Edward's gentle shaking.

"Bella, I'm stopping to get gas, you may want to use the restroom."

I nodded still groggy with sleep and went into the rest stop. I hadn't realized just how badly I needed to pee. Edward bought a few snacks for the road and we ventured off again. He reached behind our seats to grab a blanket, placing it on me before I could fall back asleep. I smiled as I fell back into dreams.


	17. Indecision

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

We traversed most of the trip with me asleep in the passenger seat. When we made it into Alaska, Edward woke me up so I could see the beautiful scenery. Alaska was breathtaking; I could see why vampires would want to settle here. But the terrain made it hard to travel quickly, the state seemed never ending. I was growing impatient to be out of the car.

I threw the blanket behind me, squirming in my seat to stretch my limbs. I was bored, tired of sitting. I watched Edward, all thoughts of scenery gone from my mind. He was so beautiful. A smile grew on his face and I sighed.

"Are we there yet?"

He laughed but didn't bother to answer me. Damn, I was tired of waiting.

I watched him absently as my thoughts grew louder. I wondered if Edward had talked to Alice, what she might have said. I regarded him closely looking for signs that he was thinking hard. He seemed serene and unconcerned. That wasn't a good sign. If Edward were even considering what I had asked of him he wouldn't look unconcerned, or serene. Perhaps I should give him the benefit of the doubt and just ask.

"Did you ever talk to Alice?"

Edward's smile fell, his face freezing to hide all emotion. I groaned but didn't give up.

"What did she say? Have you even considered what I asked?"

"Bella now is not the time."

"Why not? What else is there to do?"

"Bella, just not now."

I growled in frustration. How dare him. He wasn't even considering my question. He wasn't taking me seriously, just assuming that he knew what was best.

"Then tell me Edward, since you'll only get to do this once, if you could turn me any way you wanted, with no repercussions what would you chose?"

"Bella, don't. There are always repercussions. I won't put you at risk; you know that I won't do it. There was no reason to bring Alice into the conversation; therefore, I didn't ask her. "

"Edward, the least you could do is follow through when you say you are going to do something. I didn't demand that you do it my way. I only asked that you give me the basic courtesy of considering what I wanted. I didn't know you would ignore my request."

His hands clenched over the steering wheel. I worried for a moment that he would break my new car before I watched his body relax. He was breathing deeply forcing himself to calm. My blood was pounding the anger through my body. I couldn't stay angry with Edward long, but I was infuriated beyond belief at the moment.

Edward always knew what was right; everything that didn't fit into what he wanted or thought was below him. The least he could do for his wife was listen to her. He didn't have to give in, didn't even have to agree, just honestly consider it. He seemed genuinely surprised that I was still angry with him. He expected my anger to evaporate as quickly as it normally would, but not over this.

We drove in silence, my anger still pulsing between us. If I had been less upset I would be proud at my ability to stay angry. The awkward silence filled the empty space in the car. I shifted multiple times trying to find comfort. I sighed in exasperation.

"How much longer?"

The anger in my voice was clear. Edward seemed more distressed than angry now and I felt a little vindicated.

"I would say another hour. Perhaps we should stop so that you can eat."

I glared at him. I didn't want anything else to slow this trip, it was already long enough. Damn vampires and their infinite patience. I stared sullenly out the window. My breath was taken again by the view but my body remained rigid. I could feel the welling of tears in my eyes and that only increased my frustration. I hated that we were fighting over this, I truly only meant to leave things to him. It just really upset me that he was so flippant with my desires. Would he always disregard my wishes? Should I even bother telling him my desires?

"Please Bella, what can I do to make you happy with me?"

I had been unaware that Edward was watching me. He was probably alerted to my distress by the smell of my growing tears. I turned to face him and was immediately trapped by his eyes. He was silently pleading with me and my anger melted a little.

"Edward you know how to fix this. I'm not telling you to change me that way. Just do me the courtesy of considering it."

"Okay Bella, I promise I'll think about it. I'll even talk to Alice."

I nodded my affirmation. It took me a little while to let the anger go. I had held it so long my body was stiff with it. I slumped into my chair and continued to watch Edward. All traces of serenity were gone from his face. I sighed, I hated to upset him. His body was stiff with his indecision. He looked completely lost in his own thoughts.

I suppose that I should be happy to have him so serious but my heart felt heavy. I wanted to make him happy, to bring him peace. I had spent the last hour angry with him for feeling such peace. I'm so selfish. I watched the frown building on his face. His eyes looked alight with anger. I feared that he was just waiting to tell me off for my selfishness, but he remained silent.

We traveled the last hour in silence. I was uncomfortable with the level of silence, but Edward was oblivious to the awkwardness. He had remained true to his word and had spent the hour or so seriously considering my wish. As the moments passed my desire became less a wish and more a vague idea I had one time. I didn't want to upset him, or to cause any strife between us. I only wanted things to be easier on him, for him to be happy with this change. But perhaps I wanted too much.

We pulled into a long driveway, the path obscured from the highway. When we finally reached the house I was astounded. It was a two story log cabin. There was a wraparound porch on one side of the house, with large shielded windows. It stood out from the forests surrounding it. The trim on the shutters and porch rails was a fire engine red. It already looked like home.

Edward parked the vehicle in a large garage behind the house. We walked around to the front so that we could see it together. The spaces weren't as opened as the house in Forks but the rooms were large. The colors were warm, all earth tones. I figured that was to blend in with the terrain, should any Alaskan humans inquire about our furnishings. Edward gave me a brief tour of the house, pointing me in the direction of everyone else's rooms.

When we reached our room Edward used his hands to blindfold me. I listened intently to the sound of him opening the door. He pushed on my back gently to get me to walk forward. He let his hands drop once we were fully inside and I opened my eyes. If my heart could grow any larger it probably did in that moment.

Unlike the bachelor pad that Edward's last bedroom was, this room had touches of me everywhere. The fabrics were all blues, with a few gold accents. There were bookshelves built into the wall, as well as his CD shelves. A tiny alcove was nestled in-between with two brown leather chairs. A large bed was against one wall, with a window on the other. It looked like home.

I turned to Edward smiling widely. I would be very happy here. He took my smile for the confirmation it was and proceeded to steal my breath. His kisses were more intense than they had been, a certain need hidden behind them. I wasn't sure what reassurance he needed so I focused all the love I felt for him into the kiss. Edward released my lips only when I was near fainting from lack of air. I took heavy pants to put the air back in my lungs.

"The family is already here. They wanted to give us time to explore. Are you ready to see them?"

I didn't get a chance to respond, Alice came running through the door. She was giggling hysterically. I smiled at her, glad to see her here. Emmett came barreling through after her. He was yelling at Jasper about some game or something. Their spouses followed Alice and Emmett into the room. Rosalie looked bored but Jasper looked around the room intrigued.

"It fits you both."

"Thank you, Jasper."

He nodded at me and I felt a surge of affection for him. I looked forward to getting closer to him. He smiled grandly, having felt my surge. Edward pulled me into his arms and we watched our siblings interact.

"So you ready yet, Bella?"

"No Emmett, leave her alone, she'll change soon enough."

"I'm ready whenever Edward is. He's the one that has to prepare and be ready. Whatever he needs, whenever he wants."

I turned in his arms to look at him as I answered Emmett. Edward frowned at my answer but his eyes grew smoldering as he looked at me. The intensity of his eyes was tightening my muscles, making me want things that were inappropriate at the moment. Edward looked over my head and nodded very slightly. That was code for a silent conversation. I turned my head slightly, as if trying to get out a crick, to see whom he nodded to. Alice was the only person in his line of sight.

I watched them both, possibly causing a crick in my neck, as they frowned and nodded intermittently. They were silently talking long enough to alert our siblings.

"Hey what's going on?"

Emmett was too impatient to wait out the outcome of the conversation. Jasper sent a wave of calm through the room as I felt the growl escape Edward's chest. Edward tightened his grip on me, pulling me into his body, as he let out another growl. Alice looked down, her shoulders slumping and Edward let me go as if burned.

"Seriously, what's going on? Is someone coming? I wouldn't mind a good fight. Don't worry Edward we'll keep Bella safe."

"No, Emmett no one is coming. Bella will be fine. Alice and I were just having a quick conversation."

Jasper sent out another wave of calm and my body slumped. Because Edward was no longer holding me I started to fall, before he reached out to catch me.

"Whatever will I do with you Bella?"

"Love me?"

He chuckled, the sound almost strained. He was upset but I wasn't sure about what. If Alice had shown him something bad about what I wanted, he would just not do it. I wondered if maybe someone was coming to visit, perhaps that's why he was upset.

"I'll go get everything ready then."

Alice said as if ending a conversation. I looked to Edward in question but expected no answer. Jasper followed Alice to help with whatever she needed. Emmett stayed hoping that he could find some entertainment. We stood for a good ten minutes before Alice returned with Carlisle.

I huffed impatiently when Edward and Carlisle made signs of having a silent conversation. They really think that no one notices those movements? I shook my head in annoyance and decided to just look through my bookshelves. I pulled myself from Edward's arms and walked over to the first case. Most of the books were favored classics of mine.

I ran my fingers lovingly over the leather spines. I breathed in the smell of the books, sighing in pleasure. My fingers found Pride and Prejudice and I pulled it from the shelves without thought. It was a wonderful way to pass the time. I settled into one of the chairs and lost myself to Elizabeth Bennett's world.

I had just gotten to the first dance when I felt Edward's touch on my legs. I looked up startled to see the family surrounding us. I marked my page and put the book down.

"What's going on, love?"

"If you're ready then so am I."

I expected to feel a great amount of fear knowing I was about to be bitten, but only happiness came through. I had some serious wires crossed in my head. Edward pulled me into his arms and carried me over to the bed.

"Here Bella, change into these, you'll be more comfortable."

I giggled as I took the clothes. Only Alice would expect a wardrobe change for this. Everyone looked at me as if I had grown another head, which only caused more giggles. I slipped from Edward's arms and walked clumsily to the bathroom. Or what I had assumed was the bathroom. I heard the room full of giggles behind me as I stumbled out of the closet. I gathered my dignity and managed to make it through the right door.

This bathroom was just as extravagant as the last. I expected to spend a lot of time here. I wondered if the shower was as wonderful. I changed into the blue tank and black boy shorts. I didn't want to wear clothing this revealing in front of everyone but I figured the whole biting process was a little more intimate.

I tripped my way back to Edward, blushing because of all the stares. Emmett wolf-whistled and Rose hit him on the back of the head. I hid my body behind Edward as I waited.

"Do you have any questions Bella? Now is the time."

Carlisle was sitting at the end of the bed, his voice was as calm and assured as ever. I took comfort that he was unaffected by the upcoming events. I shook my head to show that I had no questions.

"Just take care of Edward, don't let him sulk."

Rose laughed as if it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. I glared at her. Jasper promised to look after Edward, as best he could, and my heart lightened.

"Are you ready Bella?"

"Is Edward?"

Edward and Carlisle looked at me with the same look of annoyance.

"Don't worry about me Bella, are you ready for this."

"Edward, I'm yours, if you're ready, then have me."

I didn't expect the reaction I got from him. Edward pounced from where he was sitting beside me, to cover my body with his. He kissed my lips and down my jaw.

"And you don't mind if I take you whatever way I want?"

"No, I'm happy just to be yours."

Edward took my lips in a deep passionate kiss. My body was shaking with desire. I focused on the audience watching us to keep myself from pulling him closer. I didn't need to make this harder on him, or to show the family just how much I wanted my husband.

"Can everyone leave us, I would like some last moments with my wife, alone."

No one objected, as they silently traipsed out the door. Alice only nodded to Edward before shutting the door and leaving us alone.


	18. Decisive

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

My heart was pounding, speeding my boiling blood throughout my body. I felt on fire with the possibilities of what we could do with this "alone time." My back arched and my legs spread to allow Edward more room. He didn't waste time maneuvering me around; he fit himself into my curves as if he was a part of them.

My breath gushed out all at once. His lips captured mine in a deeply passionate kiss. I could feel my blood flushing to the surface. My need for him was growing and my frustration with it. I was already desperate to be closer to him and to hear the beautiful sounds he would make. His touch was needy; seeking a reassurance that I was still alive, still his.

I gave into his every wish, caving to his desires. I didn't fight for control or demand anything from him. His every kiss was a demand from me. He pulled away from my lips when I felt the need for air overcoming my need for him. I drew in deep pants of air, hoping that if I took in as much air as possible I wouldn't need to stop kissing again.

Edward moved to sit beside me and I groaned in annoyance. I could think of many positions for him and none of them involved this one. He ran his hands up my arms and lifted me from my prone position, placing me beside him but sitting now. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised in question. His face looked pained, my hand reached out to smooth the suffering from his face automatically.

"Bella."

He said my name as if greatly pained; my heart ached to ease whatever caused it.

"What's wrong Edward?"

My hands covered the lines of his face, smoothing whatever I could. I reached my body over to press against his as my lips covered his face. His hands wrapped around my waist to pull me into him. I used the force of the movement to place quicker kisses wherever I could reach. My hands moved up to tangle in his bronze locks.

"Bella, I can't lose you. I won't live through a day without you."

"You won't lose me Edward, I'm yours for eternity, I promise."

I stopped my assault of healing kisses to speak and jumped right back into my therapy the second the words left my mouth. Edward's shoulders slumped and my alarm grew. Whatever he was thinking had me worried.

"What are you thinking Edward?"

"Would you still love me if I were completely selfish and took everything I wanted from you?"

"Honestly Edward I would thank you for taking it. I love you; I want to feed your every need. What is it that you want?"

His eyes grew dark and hungry. I wondered what desire he wanted fed but I meant every word I said to him. I was sure deep in my soul that if Edward wanted to drink me dry, I would thank him for piercing me. It wasn't that I was desperate to be turned; I truly couldn't care about the vampire aspect, except that the difference had caused harm. I wanted Edward. I wanted to be his equal therefore I must be a vampire.

I loved him with my full being and would give him whatever I could. There was no greater pleasure than Edward's pleasure. He seemed heartened by my response to his question but his eyes still held a hidden conflict. I wanted to help him, to ease his doubts, but I was growing tired of this game. He was my everything and I needed to share his everything.

"Do you not want to change me, is that what you mean?"

I tried to hide my growing panic, but my voice shook with my concern. I couldn't exist without him. Did he want to keep me human? Was he worried about what would happen once I died? My eyes welled up without my consent, my body stiffened against him. He used his hands to rub my arms and back, forcing my body to relax.

"Bella you silly girl, what would make you think that? I just said I cannot survive a day without you."

Now I was really confused.

"Then what are you talking about?"

Instead of answering he swept me into his lap capturing my mouth with his. I moaned into the kiss, letting him eat it whole. I could feel his growing erection pressing into my hip and then my stomach. The feeling of him hardening against me made me spill for him. He growled from low in his chest and my blush grew automatically. It was always easier to pretend he couldn't smell, hear, or see my every reaction to him.

He spread my legs with his hands, placing me in a more comfortable position on his lap. My legs wrapped around him to trap him. I used my entwined ankles to push Edward into me. We both moaned at the contact.

"I need you closer Edward."

He took my lips again, not allowing me to talk or breathe. My body shook with my need for air and he let me go. My upper body was heavy, rocking with the force of trying to regulate my breathing. I needed him so desperately.

"Please tell me you're going to make love to me, because I cannot handle it if you're not."

He hid his face in the crook of my neck, his cool breath forcing a trail of goose bumps to rise. He used his hands to pull me as close to him as he could safely and spoke.

"How close do you want me? Because I am sure I can give you what you need."

I rocked my hips against his reflexively. My body was no longer mine to control; my limbs were an extension of Edward, under his control.

"As close as I can get you Edward, you're never close enough."

My voice sounded deeper and breathier than normal. I was breathing heavily as I fought to control my need for him. I was fighting a losing battle but he wouldn't appreciate me jumping him. His hands ran down my back to rest on my ass. He used his new placement to pull me into him. I moaned deeply and all thoughts of control flew from my head.

I wrapped my moving hands around his neck like a noose. It wouldn't hurt him and I needed the extra support. I was growing so desperate for him that my eyes were tearing up. I was seconds away from pleading, begging, bartering for him to just take me. When his lips came to take mine I surprised him by biting his lip. I took his lower lip into my mouth, sucking on it with all the force I could manage. His body trembled and I smiled proudly.

He pulled away from me with a new look on his face. It took me a moment to realize that he was surprised and more than aroused by what I had just done. He grinned crookedly at me and his hands disappeared below my shirt. The coolness of his skin only heated the fires across my body. He teasingly rubbed his fingers across my breasts, softly and tantalizing. I growled; no need to fake my annoyance. He laughed boisterously and my heart felt like soaring.

I was so happy to hear his laughter that I was taken completely out of my body. For a moment I wasn't desperate for him. I came back to my need with crippling force. His cool fingers squeezed my breasts with more force than he had used before. I knew that his every touch was controlled, but he rarely pressed my skin with any sense of force, instead opting to go for too gentle. I understood why, but it didn't stop the ache for more from forming. The feel of his hands on my breasts, pressing into me enough to cause indentations, caused a moan so deep it shook its way out of my body. My body trembled and I knew I had lost my battle for control. I was glad to still be flesh because my body was melting into him. Soon I would just be a puddle at his feet.

He lowered one of his hands from my breast to rub circles on my hip. I held my breath in anticipation, somehow linking my need for more with my need for air. When he finally dipped a finger below the waist of my boy shorts, I took a long inhale of air. His fingers rubbed fires down from my waist as he made his way to my center. I was expecting him to tease and touch me softly, so I was entirely unprepared for his rough touch.

He pushed a finger into me the second he neared my opening. It wasn't painful, the friction was frightfully wonderful, but it was something he would usually make me beg for. I was still straddling him, the position above him, forcing a new angle into me. I was desperate to be close to him and on some level this alleviated some of my need. I was as close as I could be to him without having him fully inside me. At least I could be a little more patient now.

He leaned back into my neck, resting his head, as his finger pushed in and out of me.

"Sing for me Bella, I love to hear you moan."

I wasn't going to argue, I had little control over my voice anyway. If I withheld moaning now, I would only moan louder when he forced it out of me. I had learned enough to know that cooperating made it easier to endure. He pushed another finger into me and the slight pain of the entrance created another trembling moan.

"You truly like it rough?"

Edward's lips brushed my neck as he spoke, I shivered. I reached my hands down between us to find his erection. I could easily play with the tip against my stomach, but I wanted to feel the full length of him. I pulled at his zipper inexpertly, using force rather than finesse to free him. He sprang free from the prison of his jeans and landed on my thigh.

I loved the feel of him against me but I preferred to feel more of him than the slight brushing contact. I grabbed him with both hands, pulling on him with all the need I felt for him. He moaned into my neck, causing another shiver to rock my body. He smiled against my skin and kissed my neck. I retaliated by running my stubby nails across his length. He growled from low in his chest and this time I smiled.

"I think you like it rough too, Edward."

He growled again and increased the pace of his fingers. My whole body rocked with my hips. I was losing my ability to form thoughts, my old favorite ".Edward." easily taking over anything more coherent. I rubbed his cock with a gentle kind of anger. All my need was being pushed into my fingers. My hands were dry and it made the motion rougher. I needed something to slicken him so I could make easier progress. I wanted to take him into my mouth but from this angle I would never reach. He twisted his fingers and I exploded around his hand.

I came back to my body slowly. I was repeating ".Edward." loudly. I focused on not saying it before I focused on closing my mouth. It took me a little while to orient myself enough to try and think. It took even longer to remember exactly what I had been thinking before my orgasm. With new inspiration I pulled Edward's hands from my center. He lifted his head to look at me in question.

I shook my head, not bothering to explain as I reached my own fingers between my legs. Edward growled when my fingers entered me, my hand was soaked with my juices. I pulled back to wrapped my soaked hand around him and his body trembled. He growled and his eyes closed.

"Bella?"

My name was a low husky sound, none of the velvet that his voice normally was. I liked that I made him sound that way.

"Yes Edward."

"What did you just do, why?"

I smiled; he was more incoherent than I had ever made him. I would have to remember this moment. I pressed my head into his neck, in retaliation to his earlier antics, before I answered.

"You were dry; I thought that since I'm so soaked I could help you out a little. Do you not like it? I probably should have asked before I put my juices all over you."

"Bella, oh god, how could I not like that? Do it again."

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face but I did as told. This time I moved much slower, pumping into myself a few times before pulling back. Edward was panting unnecessarily his eyes dark and hungry. He took my lips hostage. I used his distraction to rub my still soaked hand over his length. He moaned into my mouth and I was happy to eat it.

He ripped the clothes from my body, no longer willing to wait. He pulled the clothes from his body with equal impatience, flinging our ruined clothes across the room. He ran his hands down my back to rest on my ass, as he used his leverage to position me. I was hovering over his cock, ready to ride him into oblivion. He let go of me and I fell on him. The moan that came out of me sounded like a wild animal.

I used our sitting position to grab his hair as I rocked against him. His hands created magic by moving my hips around. The angle of his penetration was unlike what I had experienced before. He felt deeper and my control over the speed had me racing him in and out of me. He moved his hands to my hair and pulled my head back by my hair, gently but still enough to make me tremble.

My head hung back as I rode him. He attacked my neck with his lips. Every touch against my neck caused me to shiver. He was teasing me and I couldn't find words to argue.

"Do you really want me to bite you Bella? To break your creamy skin as you ride me; to watch the blood spill over your bouncing breasts?"

I moaned rocking my hips faster. If I answered yes to all those questions would that make me horrible?

"Yes, oh god yes Edward."

He licked my neck, from my jaw to my ear. I was trembling. I wasn't sure that I could take much more.

"What if I told you that I wanted to Bella? That since the moment you told me it's all I can think about; that I've spent hours trying to talk myself out of it. "

His name escaped my lips as I pushed my body harder. My hips ached with the force of my thrusts, but I knew no other way to show him how desperate I was. He pressed his lips against my neck and I moaned. Just when I thought I might never finish, just spend eternity in the limbo of almost there, he opened his mouth to press his teeth against my neck.

I exploded in complete ecstasy. The idea of what he could do overcoming all sense of reality or fear. I couldn't fear my lover's touch. The pressure of his teeth breaking my skin brought me back to my limbs. Knowing what was coming made the sensations more surreal to me. When I had suffered my last vampire bite my body was broken and I was unaware.

This time I could feel everything. Edward had one hand resting on the other side of my neck, holding me to him, as his other hand rocked my hip to continue riding him. The pleasure was astounding. I continued to shudder and constrict around him. He was making deep animalistic moans from his chest. His touch had gentled, probably in the fear of getting too rough.

I wanted to ride him, but I had managed to lose all the bones in my body. I was completely melting into his mouth. I was moaning his name repeatedly, a song from my lips. My hands moved up slowly to grip his hair. We stayed in our embrace, lost in time.

When he pulled his lips back from my neck the release caused another orgasm from me. I felt him spilling into me as I rode my pleasure. I had time to enjoy the burn of his teeth in me, to capture the moment, hoping I'd remember it when I came through the other side, before the fire burned through my veins.

Before I could whimper my discomfit, Edward picked me up with great gentleness. He laid me on the bed, kissing my forehead before covering me with the sheets.

"I'll be here the whole time; I won't leave your side. I will do whatever I can for you Bella."

I focused the last of my energy to speak.

"Forever, Edward. Love you."


	19. Turning

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I had made a silent promise to myself to not make this change harder for Edward than it would already be. But my resolve had not met the fires of hell before. I clamped my lips shut but the licks of fire searing my veins weakened my will. I let out a bloodcurdling scream, forcing my lips shut before I could let out another.

Unfortunately, the damage had already been done. Edward's face fell, showing great pain, I had a moment to study him, to ache to ease his suffering before he crouched over me. Edward stood naked, in all his glory, ready to pounce on whoever dared enter. The bedroom door burst open revealing the stunned faces of Carlisle and Emmett. Carlisle entered the room panicked, moving slowly towards me.

I was writhing on the bed, my eyes wide. I had tried closing my eyes but that only seemed to focus the pain. Keeping my eyes opened allowed me to distract myself, with what little it would help. Carlisle came closer to me, moving slowly, as if he moved too quickly I might disappear. Emmett stood shell-shocked at the doorway, Alice's tiny frame peeking from under his arm.

"Edward finish it, bite her wrists and ankles."

Edward growled at Carlisle, flinching as if ready to strike should Carlisle come within feet of me. Carlisle put his hands up in surrender, easing his way towards me with even slower steps. Edward jumped to a standing position, his back to me, and stood in an offensive stance. He was preparing to attack Carlisle. I couldn't understand why. The agony my body was suffering made it difficult to understand. I was coherent, I could follow what was happening, I just couldn't process it. I watched everything with wide frightened eyes, unable to contribute anything more.

My heart raced in panic, speeding the venom throughout my body. I wasn't really afraid, with Edward beside me I felt safe and protected. I couldn't comprehend why I had a sudden change in emotion. Edward growled warningly at Carlisle before he backed up to press his legs into the mattress. With all the effort in my body I focused on touching him. Once my hand met the smoothness of his naked thigh I sighed in relief.

Touching Edward didn't relieve any pain, but it soothed my soul, easing my mind from a deeper pain of living without him. Carlisle was blocked from me and the panic was growing on his face. Alice ran by Carlisle, coming straight towards me with more speed than I could see. Edward let her pass without a sound, upsetting Carlisle. Alice took me into her arms, lifting the sheets and settling me in her arms.

"Edward finish biting Bella, make her yours forever. Just bite her wrists and ankles, I promise to guard her while you do it."

I didn't need guarding but I was in no condition to argue the point. Edward regarded me with dark hungry eyes. The blood being stripped from my veins burned with a different kind of fire. He turned his naked body towards me and I trembled. A sheer layer of sweat covered my body, showing the signs of the effort I was enduring.

He lowered his body over me, tempting me even in my present state. God I love this man. He ran his hands down my arms gently, before he lifted one wrist to his lips. He kissed me softly, reverently before he pierced my delicate skin. People always say that one pain will overwhelm another. In my long experience with pain, I learned that pain is pain. It only adds together, toppling all other functions until the pain is eased.

The bite on my wrists felt more painful than the burn on my neck. My body shook with a new round of agony and I moaned my discomfort. Edward spent little time with my wrists, taking one and then the other with great precision. His eyes held mine throughout it all, keeping me steady as my anguish grew.

Edward moved his naked body down mine slowly, brushing his cool skin against my overheated body. I moaned in pleasure, sounding as if the small comfort were better than my deepest orgasm. At the moment I figured that was probably true. He kissed down my body as he moved to my ankles, tempting me beyond the fires of hell.

I was still alert, unable to process anything, but clear enough to watch what was happening. It still took me a while to realize that Edward's naked body was against my naked body. I was fully exposed to the room, in too much pain to blush, but deeply mortified. Edward rubbed his chest down my center and I moaned in pleasure. Even Alice's arms around me couldn't take my thoughts or eyes away from Edward. He kissed his way lightly down my legs .He licked my ankle before he pierced it. The simple act of licking eased the pain of his teeth tearing through me.

If I could truly think, I would take time to contemplate why such a small thing could do so much for me, but I couldn't think. Although the bite didn't hurt, the venom that poured into me was another layer to my anguish. Edward bit into my other ankle with all the precision of a doctor, not a lover. I could tell that he was fighting for control, that his desires were overwhelming him.

This thought caused my eyes to look down the length of his body that still hovered over me. I was surprised to see that he was hard. This thought caused my eyes to close, once my lids shut all of my pain focused inward. I felt trapped and I panicked. My heart raced, only causing an increase in my pain as the venom spread.

"Relax my Bella, open your eyes."

His voice called to me, pulling me away from the very pits of hell. I focused on opening my eyes. Normally this would be an easy thing to do, but my ability to think, to control my body, to survive, was dwindling. This was much worse than dying, this was being remade. I gurgled my protest, unable to form words through the pain.

I no longer had to think about keeping my lips shut. My jaw was wired tight, all of my muscles tense, my whole body laced with my torment. I opened my eyes, the sweat pouring down my neck from the effort. Edward's face rested just above my breasts. His eyes looked deeply troubled, making my heart ache. Didn't he know that I couldn't handle his pain? That I was in enough pain at the moment, I didn't need any added.

"Bella, my love, I have one more bite. I know it hurts, that you're suffering the deepest torment, but I will be here. If I could only take away your pain, dull it somehow I would."

I tried to nod but my head was too heavy, too many muscles needed to accomplish such a feat. I let my eyes say what I couldn't manage to, Edward understood. He kissed my lips, pulling away quickly and I still wished for a longer kiss. I reminded myself that soon I would be able to kiss him as deep and as long as I could. My heart felt lighter with that knowledge, making me unfathomably happy.

Edward's face broke out into a heart wrenching smile. If I could only make him that happy all the time, I would do anything. He dipped his head between my breasts, kissing my right breast. I moaned. The bliss he could give me was always astounding, but the torture my body was undergoing centered the pleasure. I moaned deeply, whispering his name with all the strength in me. He took his last bite of my flesh, biting into my breast. He ran his other hand to rub my other breast and my hips thrust into his reflexively.

"I didn't expect a free show. You should charge admission Edward."

Emmett's voice broke the haze of desire, surrounding my few thoughts. Edward growled; his body tensing. He removed his lips from my breast and licked the wound clean. I shook. He took a long dark look over my naked form before he covered me with the sheet. He stood, facing Emmett and growled again.

"No need to go caveman on me. I was just saying you could make some money if you wanted. It's not my fault you two were practically having sex in front of us."

"I asked you all to leave, what do you want, what are you doing here?"

"Edward we heard Bella's scream after we all smelled blood. We came to help, to protect Bella. Would you mind explaining to us exactly what you did? Please tell me it's not what it looks like."

Edward growled at Carlisle. My blood pounded through my system, pumping anger through my poor limbs. I wanted to hit Carlisle, to hit Emmett, but I knew that wasn't right. I couldn't shake the feelings from me, or the confusion from my head, so instead I looked to Edward. He had calmed slightly but his anger was still present.

"I am quite capable of protecting _my_ Bella. It looks exactly like what it is Carlisle. She asked me to bite her so I did."

I could tell through his anger that his guilt and despair were growing. The tension in his muscles let out all at once, showing how exhausted he mentally was. He sat on the edge of the bed, putting his head in his hands. I yearned to touch him, to make it better. Why couldn't I reach him, he's right there? I tried with all my might to touch him, to reassure him, to show him how very much I love him; but I didn't move as much as an inch. Throughout all my suffering I had yet to cry, the pain was easier to handle than Edward's pain. My tears fell unguarded from my eyes now; I needed to touch him to make it better. Oh God why can't I reach him?

I felt despair taking over my being. If I couldn't reach him what was the point? Let the demons of hell have me, I would be better off than existing without Edward's touch. My plummeting emotions broke what will I had left. My eyes shut as if snapped closed and I was rocked with the crippling force of agony tearing my bones from my ligaments. Everything was ripping and shredding. I convulsed unwillingly.

I heard Edward's voice under a well of misery; my hearing dulled by my torment. I tried, desperately, to open my eyes to see him one last time. There was no way I would survive this, he would have to learn to move on, but I was surely going to hell. I couldn't manage to open my eyes, I couldn't die without seeing him one more time, I couldn't let go.

I screamed in anguish. My soul ached with the loss of his features. I couldn't do this, not without him. Oh god in heaven help me, I can't lose him. A searing hole ripped through the center of my chest, reminding me of what loss I had already suffered. I knew then that I could handle the pits of hell better than that gaping chasm of despair; anything but existing without Edward.

"Bella, I'm here, I promise I'll never leave. Listen to my voice, come back to me."

His voice was a call from the heavens. It was a trail home and my entire being sighed upon hearing it. I relaxed; contented that he was with me. The pain seemed dulled by this, I had Edward, and everything else would be okay. I had a moment before the venom racked through me destroying more of me in its wake. I had a new sense of awareness, I would survive this.

"Is she okay, what just happened?"

Emmett sounded truly frightened. I wanted to reassure him but I hadn't the ability to open my eyes, let alone talk.

"She thought I wasn't here, she thought I had left. She panicked and was giving in to the pain."

I felt the tug of Alice pulling me closer.

"Bella don't you dare scare me like that again, we are never leaving you. You're already one of us. You're my sister."

Alice sounded profoundly upset. I felt trapped by my body. If I could only gain some amount of control I could make her feel better. I was causing them all pain and all I wanted to do was make things easier for everyone.

"Edward we all love Bella, but do you think you could do your brother a solid and put on some damn pants."

Alice's giggles rocked my body. She buried her head in my hair to try and hide her giggles. Edward growled at Emmett.

"You really should follow you brother's advice Edward. Put on some pants and then we can discuss this as a family. Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper can you join us in Edward's room?"

I lost all sense of time and space as I laid just on the edge of living. The vampires around me made little sound; only their voices assured me that they were still all with me. I didn't hear Edward leave and come back; I didn't hear the family enter the room. I only heard the greetings and questions.

All of my senses were dulled but my ability to tell what was going on seemed increased. Occasionally my emotions would rocket from bliss to despair. I knew it wasn't from anything I was thinking but I couldn't figure out where the emotions were coming from.

Edward roared in anger and I felt the licks of wrath spreading through me. If only I could kill whomever caused this. I wondered if this was part of the change, or if I was just a freak. I was pulled out of my thoughts by the forced calm that draped over me like a heavy blanket.

"Everyone be quiet for a moment."

Had I eyes to see I would have been drawn to Jasper; his voice resonated through the arguing of the family around me.

"If for a moment, you were all paying attention to Bella, instead of berating Edward for something that has already been done; you would have noticed that whenever Edward gets angry so does Bella. "

"Right Jasper, we can't all be emo freaks like you. How were we supposed to tell that?"

Emmett pounded his chest in emphasis; the sound of his hand hitting his chest reverberated, paining my ears with the loud echo.

"Watch and learn."

I felt a wave of calm and tried to relax into it. Before I could get too comforted, in my present state of torture, I felt a wave of anger. My body shook and convulsed. I needed to hit someone, to find the person that made me so angry. The wrath was emptied by complete bliss.

"So what you just made her feel things."

"You moron Emmet, look with your eyes. I gave Edward anger, and Bella convulsed, didn't you see her face scowl, her muscles tense even further. I sent waves of bliss to Bella and Edward calmed and smiled stupidly."

"Jasper, perhaps you are on to something. We should study this further once we have gotten Bella through the change. For now, Edward I need you to remain calm while you answer our questions. We have established that you bit her, while intimate. Before anyone can interrupt with their opinion can you explain why? Do you understand the risk you put her in?"

My heart reached out to Edward. It wasn't fair to make him answer for this alone. I had wanted it, I had asked, he was only giving in to me.

"She is mine and now she will lways be."

"Edward I'm sure you feel that is an explanation but that doesn't answer your family's questions."

Carlisle's anger was a rough set to his voice. I tried to open my eyes, too curious to see what was going on. But the battle over my body had long since been lost. I focused instead on hearing as much as I could; hoping to reassure Edward by simply being here with him.

"Bella asked me to. I tried to deny her; I even tried to talk myself out of it. I'm sure you will all understand I had a certain pull towards it. Bella and I fought and I turned to Alice for advice."

"Did you ever think to come to me, my first companion? You could have come to me; I would have helped you find the strength to say no. Bella's safety is the first priority."

"I trusted in Alice's visions and didn't feel the need to make this a family discussion."

"Edward you should know by now that there are no secrets in this family. What did she see that could possibly make you cross such a line?"

"I saw both options. The first, the way we had planned, Bella was terrified and it fed Edward's bloodlust. Emmett had to tear him off of Bella and Edward left the house to think. Bella screamed for him during the change, becoming catatonic before her heart stopped. In the other I saw them both happy, closer than ever, and Bella was perfectly safe. I let Edward decide, it was his choice to make, and I stand behind it. I'm sorry if you think we have failed you Carlisle but we would never unnecessarily put Bella in harm."

The voice of Alice woke me to my limbs. I was being held in a tight embrace by Alice, she had me pulled to her chest as she ran her fingers through my hair. It was a very gentle and loving gesture, one I could hardly feel, but that I appreciated all the same.

"You're right Alice. I'm sorry Edward. You cannot know the fear in my heart when I heard Bella scream. I feared it was the end of us all. None of us could survive losing her, believe that Edward. But if you ever do something so reckless with her again you will face the wrath of the rest of the family, are we understood?"

"Hey Rose, why didn't you think of changing me that way? What a ride that would've been."

"Ouch Rose whatdidya do that for?

"You moron it is not always just about sex."

"Jasper you may leave, I know that you have had to suffer to stay in here. Thank you for your observations. We will have to watch them once she's fully changed. We may just be witnessing her growing power as a vampire."

"Alice, dear, why don't we give Bella a sponge bath? It won't help her much but I'm sure the littlest comfort will go a long way."

"I'd love to Esme, anything to make her feel better."

I lost myself for a moment, the intense pounding in my head clearing out all other sounds. I felt a strange sensation, something wet, across my face and my brow scrunched in confusion. It took me decades to understand that I was being cleaned.

I had no sense of time or space. I could only judge time by the waves of agony. Every time I would feel the spearing of my insides I would swear I was just about to die. Every spike of torment was the worst, all adding onto the never-ending pain I was enduring.

I yearned for Edward, wishing that my eyes could watch him. He filled my thoughts, his beautiful face burning into the back of my eyelids.

"She's calling Edward's name. Perhaps we should leave them alone for this part."

Esme was a lifesaver. All I wanted was Edward. I felt my body being squeezed before I heard Alice.

"I will be here for you sister, fight for us, and we'll see you on the other side."

Edward's hands replaced where Alice had just been and I melted into him. With Edward by my side I could bear the pain. I could handle anything for him. My soul felt whole, my heart light, as my body was ripped, shredded, and burned.

"My angel you're almost there. I know it seems like forever but just a few more hours."

I was greatly heartened that soon I would see him. If asked about the hardest part of this, I would undoubtedly say my inability to see him. He ran his fingers across my skin relaxing the muscles that strained under the weight of the change. It was absurd to feel so much agony, yet still feel the sweetness of his touch.

I swore to myself that once I finished this I would watch him, wouldn't take my eyes off of him, and I would return his touch with my own. The time ticked by like a crescendo to my suffering. Each second added to my symphony until I had no sense of who I was. I was blind, numb, and deaf by the ringing in my head.

My body tingled almost numb from the pain, but that would be too easy. I was exhausted with the ordeal, ready to cave and be done with it.

Fortunately it was not a test of will power, or I would have lost. I found muscles that I didn't know I had because of the pain now emanating from them. I had one thought, one word, one sense and that was Edward.

My heart slowed, the venom only pumped through me slower. Everything exploded I could hear louder, feel more, see. My eyes burst open as if switched on. I looked to Edward as I felt the trickling of blood to my heart slowing. My eyes glazed and I heard from far away the sound of my last heart beats. My eyes closed of their own accord and I took my last breath.


	20. Dawn

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I took a moment to orient myself; a dull ache was coming from my chest. I wondered what that meant. I felt strange. The pain that had tormented me for the last eternity left a peculiar blankness in its wake. Phantoms of my former anguish echoed throughout my body, releasing the last of the pain.

"Breathe Bella and open your eyes."

I sucked in a breath, relieved to have that uncomfortable feeling in my chest gone. I sighed his name with my exhalation. My eyes opened searching, yearning for him. I saw nothing but Edward and his black orbs. He smiled widely and I wanted to cover his face with my kisses.

"Finally."

He raised a perfect eyebrow in question, wondering what I meant.

"It was the cruelest torture not to be able to see you."

I had a vague sense of the last few days; the pain was the only clear memory. I had snippets of conversations and the remembrance of wanting, no needing to see Edward. My soul seemed to sigh with relief upon seeing him. I hoarded his every feature, committing his perfection to memory for what was the millionth time. My lips felt dry, perhaps parched; but otherwise I was in perfect health for a dead person.

I ran my hand through his hair, amazed by the feel of such a silky texture. Everything was sharper, enhanced and that only made him more beautiful. I longed for his lips, to swallow him whole. I used my grip on his hair to pull him to my lips. Before I could take my claim, the door burst open, shocking me with the sound. Alice and Emmett came dancing through the doorway, a song echoing in their wake.

"She's awake, she's awake, she's awake…"

Edward growled and pounced on my lips. The kiss was worth the last three days. He didn't pull away, or kiss me softly, or slowly. He devoured my mouth, pushing his tongue ever deeper into me. I moaned into the kiss, the sound building slowly in my stomach and rumbling its way through me. I pulled him closer to me, gripping him with all my strength to keep him there. The movement rustled the sheets exposing my barely covered chest to Edwards.

If I could have blushed I would have. I was deeply embarrassed to find that I was still naked. I was amused to find that Edward had only put on pants, nothing more. That amusement reminded me of the last interruption we had due to his family and my discomfiture grew.

"Bet you they will start going at it again."

"Shut up Emmett and no they won't. I'm taking Bella to my room for her first vampire makeover."

"Alice, perhaps we should see to Bella's needs as a newborn before we worry about what she's wearing."

"You mean not wearing pop."

Carlisle was standing behind Alice and Emmett, using his best reprimanding look. He scowled at Emmett as if to say "that's not the point." I was relieved that he stepped in before I became the first vampire to die of humiliation. I was not interested in playing Bella Barbie.

"Are you thirsty Bella? How do you feel?"

Carlisle's voice was the calm resonance he always exuded. I examined my person before giving a reply.

"My lips feel dry but I think I'm fine."

"So fine Edward is about to pounce on you."

Edward growled at Emmett, standing to face Emmett and leaving his back to me.

"Shut up Emmett or I'll do it for you."

"Just stating a fact pants man, relax."

"Boys, behave."

Carlisle stepped in, putting both men in line.

"We should go hunting as a family for Bella's first time."

"I would love to teach Bella some strategies." Jasper said as he entered the room.

He looked over to me and his jaw dropped. I pulled the blanket tighter to my chest as I tried to figure out what he was looking at.

"What he means Bella is that you're a babe."

"Emmett."

Edward gave Emmett another warning growl. The fine hairs on my arms stood with the sudden anger coursing through me.

"What Edward? I have my Rosie and Bella is my sister. I can still say she's one hot momma."

"Emmett if you don't stop talking about how hot she is you won't be having sex for months."

Rosalie stormed through the door, her hips swaying quickly to Emmett. She hit him roughly on the back of his head. I growled, the need to hit him myself growing.

"Edward calm yourself before Bella destroys Emmett."

Jasper ordered Edward, he was the only one clued in to my anger. I figured his unique ability gave him an insight into what was happening. I felt a wave of calm overwhelming me. I wanted to lie down and rest, that didn't seem right. I growled in deeper anger, I didn't like not having control. Jasper took a physical step back when I growled. The whole family turned to me.

Edward turned to face me and just being near him calmed me. I wanted to reach out and touch him, I missed him so desperately.

"Bella dear I'm so glad to see you awake and well."

Esme stood by Carlisle's side, the last of the family to join us.

"Now that we're all here I think we should go on a family hunt."

Everyone nodded. Edward growled at Emmett and the wrath licked through me.

"Edward if you can't keep yourself calm, we're going to be holding Bella down because she feels your anger. It is getting magnified by her newborn state, so please stay calm."

Jasper's pleas caused Edward to pace around the room. I lost track of everyone else as I watched him. My gaze narrowed and my hearing grew more enhanced. I could hear the barely there patter of his feet. Each graceful movement of his limbs made a soft sound, the rustling of his pants the most hypnotic of all of them. I watched his chest rise and fall with his careful deep breaths.

He turned to face me and I acted without thought. It was instinct to jump him. I pounced, making the long jump from the bed to where he stood beside it. He stood still, shocked, before he fell under me. I growled, quite pleased with myself for catching him.

"See told you they're going to go at it again."

"Emmett I don't think you understand. She's hunting him."

"What do you mean Jasper?"

Carlisle's voice interrupted the argument.

"Carlisle did you watch her before? She was focusing on his movements, waiting to catch him off guard before making her movement. It was the same instinct of her first hunt. I doubt you'll be able to stop her now."

I felt arms pulling at me and I growled a loud warning. The arms jumped away from me and I purred. I wanted Edward and he was mine. He grinned crookedly, quite sexily might I add, beneath me. He seemed amused but I couldn't wonder about that now. I lay flatly against him, pressing my face into his neck and licking. I purred; the taste of him was exactly what I needed.

"Everybody run, she's not going to stop!"

Emmett's voice was loud and amused. I heard the patter of my family's retreating footsteps. It didn't slow my assault on my mate, but gave me more freedom to continue, now uninterrupted. I kissed his neck, his face, his chest, wherever I could reach in my present place. I alternated my kisses with licks, needing to cover him with myself but enjoying the taste of him just as well. A purr was rumbling from his chest, fueling my desire to taste and kiss every inch of him.

He grabbed my hands, securing my wrists, before trying to turn me. I growled immediately. The smile on his face fell away. He growled back at me, telling me that he would have his way. I bit lightly on his neck; I wasn't giving in this time. Edward stilled, a loud moan came from his chest. I was quite proud of myself, imagining I was the winner. Edward tried to turn me again, eliciting a louder, angrier growl from me. He returned it with one of his own. Tired of trying to turn me, Edward put his hands on my ass and stood up. He held me in his arms and tossed me onto the bed.

He lowered himself to the bed quickly, rather gracefully. As much as I enjoyed watching him, I had no time to memorize his movements now. I crawled to him, staring into his eyes as I did. He was panting for air and I enjoyed the rise and fall of his chest. When I reached him, at the edge of the bed, I licked down his chest. I was too mesmerized by the muscles lining his torso to do anything but taste them. I ran my fingers over them, trying to touch as much of him as I could. He was trembling and again. I felt I had won. Edward used my distraction to grab my legs and flip me on my back.

My anger came swift and fast. I bit his chest, right above his nipple. He growled at me, using more force to keep me in place as I shifted to turn. I became violent as I fought for control. I hit and pushed against him, trying anything to be on top of him.

Edward wrapped one of his hands in my hair, twisting my long locks around his wrist. He moved his hand to rest between my shoulder blades and it jerked my head back with his hand. I moaned loudly, something deep within me moved by his force. I pulled my head back, almost overwhelmed by the pleasure. The power he used to hold his hand there and my struggle to move it; pulled my hair tight from my head.

I wrapped my legs around him, squeezing him closer to me. He moaned as he captured my lips. I didn't allow him to just claim the cavern of my mouth. I fought him, wanting to taste more of him. Our tongues battled just as our bodies were. He bit gently on my lip and subdued me enough to take total domination of our kiss. I groaned in annoyance.

I gave in to the tug of his hand and let my head fall back. I used the shift to place my breasts against his chest. He wrenched away from the kiss to assail my breasts with his lips. I tightened my legs around him and he growled. With his focus now on my chest rather than keeping me subdued, I took advantage. I turned us both so that he was now straddled underneath me. I used my hands to hold him down by his shoulders while his hand tugged my head back. I ground my hips against his, eliciting a grunt from him.

I claimed his mouth, winning control of the kiss this time. I engulfed him, trying to bring all of him within me. I lost myself in the kiss. Edward took the advantage of my distraction as he pulled my body backwards by my hair. I found myself lying on my back, with Edward kneeled before me. We were just barely on the bed.

"You're mine Bella; I'm going to take you my way. Do you have a problem with that?"

I snarled as I twisted, trying to untangle myself and escape. I only managed to pull more against his grip. I used my legs to propel me and I forced us both over, landing on the floor. The crash of our bodies was a loud echo throughout the house. I took his mouth before he could fight me again; I was enjoying the ability to fight back. I could feel his growl rumbling in his chest, but my mouth devoured any sound that managed to escape. I rocked my hips against him, loving the sounds that I was eating. He placed his hands on my hips and turned us over, so that I was now underneath him. In frustration I bit his nipple. He moaned deeply. I licked the offending nipple. He thrust his hips into me and I moaned in reply.

"Do you want control Bella?"

I bit him again. He knew the answer to that. He was toying with me because he was still stronger. I realized that I was a newborn and hadn't been using my full strength. I practically threw him off of me. He landed near the door, on his back. I ran to him and pounced on top of him.

I licked, kissed, and bit every inch that I could see. I wanted him desperately, no needed him. I couldn't hear or see anything other than Edward. My thoughts were all a haze of how I could get Edward just the way I wanted him. Every touch of his skin sent me reeling. Frustrated by the barrier of his pants to my kisses, I shredded them with my teeth. I loved being a vampire…

He wasn't wearing anything under the pants and I took the opportunity to lick his cock. He was ready for me, hard and upright. I wanted him inside me. I wanted so much of him that I wasn't sure what I wanted most, or even next. He shifted as if to take control again and I bit gently on his penis. His body shook and trembled as a loud growl came from his chest.

I took him into my mouth. Since I didn't need to breathe, I hoped that I would be able to take him entirely within my mouth and throat. I consumed him. Edward pulled me away from his cock by my hair. I couldn't fight that and I snarled at him. He twisted his grip so that he was behind me. He held me against him with one hand in my hair and one in my hip. I thrashed as I struggled to getaway.

He used his grip to force his way into me. I was soaked down my thighs, but the pain was still slight because I had only had sex a few times. He earned every inched he put inside of me. I still clashed against him, hoping to break free so that I could have my way with him.

He pulled the hand from my hip and held the inside of my neck. He gripped me forcefully and my whole body stilled. I couldn't make myself move away from his grip. He pulled out and thrust harder back into me. I moaned; the sound vibrating throughout my bones. He pulled my hair as he rode into me. We slammed together, the sound making a loud clash with every thrust.

He didn't slow or keep his pace steady. He slammed and rocked into me. It was his own way of telling me that he had control. I wanted to fight, argue for my own way, but I had no strength to pull away. I was hungry for more, desperate to have him. The way he penetrated me, pushed him at certain angle. Every thrust hit me at my g spot. My orgasm was close, pained from being almost there for so long.

He lowered his chest to rest on my back, forcing his thrusts deeper, and more upright. I trembled. He placed his neck on the other side of my neck, blowing his breath against me. He kissed me softly, reverently, before he bit down on my neck. Had it not been the same spot where he had made me a vampire, I might not have reacted so violently. I exploded, yelling and thrashing. I had no concept of how long I was gone, or even how many orgasms I rode. Every time I came back from one, his teeth on my neck sent me into another immediate orgasm.

Edward managed to pull away from my neck before I finished orgasming. I couldn't do anything other than ride the pleasure. I almost collapsed from the release. He leaned against me, neither of us quite willing to move yet. He kissed my back, sending shivers down my spine.

"If you don't stop that I will be forced to take you, again."

"You mean like you tried to last time?"

I growled. He laughed at my anger. I would so show him. I could feel his juices dripping from my center. How many times did he orgasm? I was definitely in need of a good shower. I stood quickly, running to the bathroom, because now I wouldn't have to fear tripping, calling out to him as I went.

"Be nice or I won't invite you to join me."

He growled at me, this time I laughed. He chased after me, catching me by my waist before I managed to close the bathroom door.

"We have to behave; the family is waiting on us."

He held two fingers up as he responded to me.

"Scout's honor."

I rolled my eyes at him and turned on the water. I stepped into the stream, enjoying the feel along my new skin. I felt like me, but I was sturdier, stronger than before. It was a peculiar way to feel, something that would take me awhile to get used to. I realized that I had barely been touching things, afraid already of what my strength really was. It seemed natural to hold things softly.

When I went to turn the hot water further the knob crushed under the weight of my hand. I should have not had that thought and then I would have been fine. Edward laughed as he joined me for the shower. The temperature didn't matter; it was only a reflex that made me go for hot. I washed myself quickly, hoping against hope that the faster I did it, the less likely it would be that Edward would be naughty. I had completely finished when Edward captured a breast in his mouth.

It took a vast amount of control to step away from him and out of the shower. I should be rewarded for being able to do so. I ran out of the bathroom as he finished up. I put on the first set of clothes I found, one of his t-shirts and a pair of jeans. I didn't particularly care what I looked like. I was trying to make up time for holding up the family. Edward pressed his naked body to my back. I trembled with the effort not to turn.

"Please Edward, the family is waiting for us."

He moved the hair from my neck and sucked on his spot.

"I love it when you beg me."

I dropped to my knees, unable to hold myself upright with the assault on my neck. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me back to his mouth.

"Edward, Bella, we're ready to go, hurry up in there."

Alice was right outside the door. I'm sure she had had a vision of what she would see if she walked in.

"There is no privacy here."

"Well then, we can be as loud as we want."

My knees shook, he continued to kiss and suck on my neck.

"Edward you can eat her all up later, we want to go hunting. You haven't fed since you changed her; you both really need to go."

Alice was getting impatient. I heard the repeated tapping of her sneakers against the hardwood floors. With a herculean effort I pulled away from him and strode to the door. I made it to the door before I turned to speak to him.

"I'll just wait for you outside and then we can go."

He raced to me, gathering me in his arms, capturing my lips. He pressed my body against the door as he devoured me. How much strength did he think I had? I can only resist so much. Perhaps that is what he was going for, wearing me down. I groaned, frustrated that I couldn't really push him away.

"I'm getting tired of having to run away from your room."

"Good Alice then stay away from it."

Edward growled out as he ripped my clothes from my body. I gave him a little leniency since the t-shirt was his and I had ripped his pants, well that did even things. He didn't bother with foreplay; he forced himself into me as he had just before. I moaned deeply, rocking my hips into his. He pulled out and thrust back into me, it broke the door.

Had I not been lost in a haze of desire, I would have laughed. I heard Emmett's boisterous voice laughing out a thunderstorm. But I decided to use the now broken door to my advantage. Edward's grip loosened and I pushed him down. He fell on his back, protecting me from falling. I used the change to ride him. I wanted to grind him into the earth. With every thrust my breasts bounced, he watched them entranced.

I bounced more as I shifted my hips, giving him a better show. He was moaning my name, a deep repetitive song. It drove me to ride him roughly. My hands held on to his arms to steady me as I rocked our bodies. He held my hips in his hands, holding me still. I growled and forced myself down. The pressure of the thrust caused another orgasm. I exploded and he pounded into me from beneath me.

I was screaming his name as I came back to my limbs. He sped up, not allowing me to move. I dug my nails into his hands as I tried to pull them away. We wrestled for them. I finally maneuvered his hands to my ass. Without his grip on my hips I was able to pull him deeper and faster into me. I was so very close. He pulled me into each thrust and I shook.

He pushed the nails of his hands into my ass and I exploded for the millionth time. I felt him spill into me multiple times; each orgasm he rode forced me into another. I lost count of how many times I flew before I finally relaxed against him.

"Oh bugger, we need another shower."

He laughed, the vibration creating another thrust, I moaned.

"Will you guys ever stop?"

Alice was yelling from downstairs. It was unsafe to stay at our door, as there was a Bella sized hole in it.

"Just a minute we need to get dressed."

"Great, you'll just go at it again. Dad, tell them to stop having sex so we can leave."

"Edward, Bella, perhaps you should wait till you're at full strength before you destroy the rest of your mother's house."

"Yeah, Mom, yell at them. You never let Rosie and I do that."

"Kids, that's enough. Emmett and Alice stop arguing. Edward and Bella get dressed. We will hunt and then we will discuss things."

Carlisle's voice echoed throughout the house. I muffled my laughter by hiding my face in Edward's chest. I stood up and helped him as well.

"We should get dressed before they order us apart."

He stepped closer to me, putting his face in the crook of my neck.

"Nothing could ever tear me away from you."


	21. Hunts

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

Edward and I dressed quickly. I couldn't allow myself to be near him as he dressed. The thought of clothes covering the hard lines of his sculpted torso, was going to torment me until I had that shirt back on the floor. A giggle escaped my lips as I imagined all Edward's clothes laying on the floor and the wonderful way I would get them there.

"Come on already, you're a vampire Bella, use your speed."

Emmett was yelling from downstairs, his impatient huffs echoing as loudly as his yell. I grabbed the closest pair of jeans and sneakers. I hobbled into the jeans as I tried to put the shoes on at the same time.

"Some things never change Bella."

Edward's chuckle forced me to look up at him. He had left his shirt unbuttoned and was slowly buttoning each button, from the top down. I stared hungrily at the V of his hips. I licked my lips, anticipating the scrumptious meal I was just about ready to take.

"Now Bella, you said we have to behave; something about the family waiting on us, if I do recall."

I glared at him. He thinks he's quite funny does he? I stomped into my clothes and raced down to our waiting family. Everyone was scowling at us as we entered. Had we been that loud?

"Bella wearing clothes this time? Does this mean that I don't get any more free shows?"

"Ouch Rose whatdidya do that for?"

"You just said you wanted to see another woman naked."

"I can't help it if the cherry poppers turned nympho and gave me a free show."

Edward sped to Emmett, knocking him down with a colossal clash of stone hitting stone.

"Do not think about my wife that way, or I'll beat the thoughts out of you."

"Boys, if you don't break it up now I'm going to take away cars."

Edward and Emmett broke apart as if burned. I rolled my eyes, I was the youngest in this room, by centuries, but you'd never know it.

"Now that we're all ready, we're going to split in two cars."

"I call it."

Edward's voice rang out before everyone. My jaw hung low in shock, of all the things to say. Carlisle's stern command broke off into a choked laugh. He was trying, with great difficulty, not to laugh. Emmett was scowling at Edward for beating him to it.

"I'm sorry Edward but I need you to go with Emmett and Rosalie, we're taking the jeep. I'm going to take Alice and Jasper, with your mom and me, in my car."

"But I want to go with Bella."

Alice was whining and using her infamous pout on Carlisle. I shook my head, if I didn't know I was surrounded by vampires, all 60+ years old…

"Alice, I know you're excited to have Bella as a vampire, but I do not think Jasper can handle Bella's thirst until we get there. Perhaps some distance will ease his suffering."

"What thirst, I'm not thirsty?"

Everyone turned to me in unison. Rose and Esme both gasped as they looked at my face. I wondered if it looked ghastly, some residue of the change still on me. I couldn't figure out what had them so astounded. Carlisle moved towards me, his features entranced, his gaze was locked on mine. It took me a second to realize he was looking at my eyes.

"Bella have you looked at yourself, at all?"

Alice's impatience broke the spell. I was a little uncomfortable with the intensity of everyone's stares. I could feel Carlisle's eyes boring into my head; I looked over to Edward, imagining he would help clear things up.

"I was a little busy Alice."

"Only Bella, beautiful, angel Bella, would be that breath-taking and not look in a mirror. It's disgusting really. When I think of all the time it takes to get my hair to curl just perfect and she doesn't even take pride in her clothes. She's wearing Edward's shirt, it's hanging on her like a tent."

Rose's hands settled on her hips, her feet spread apart as she berated me. My gaze found Edward and I questioned him with my eyes.

"Love, they're all just astounded that you didn't race to see yourself. We know you were hoping for certain gifts as a vampire."

"I'd call them gifts, bet they bounce a lot."

"Ouch Rose, stop doin' that already."

"If you mention my wife's breasts or her naked at all, again, I will dismember you."

"Can I replace one of my limbs with a really big gun, or a cannon?"

"I can't believe you sometimes. I'll be waiting in the car, dumbass."

Rose stormed out of the house, I couldn't particularly blame her; Emmett was well Emmett.

"We'll continue this discussion later Bella. I have a feeling that we have much to discuss. But first we must see to your needs as a newborn. It's quite remarkable that you are still so lucid. Many newborns would have been taken over by bloodlust by now. Well, shall we?"

I followed my new father, as well as my siblings out of the house. Rose was sitting in the passenger seat of the Jeep as if a photographer were about to snap her picture, for a car magazine. We all settled into our own seats. Edward reached over to buckle me in and a giggle escaped me.

"Some things never change."

Edward grinned crookedly at me, I could feel myself melting. Yes, some things never change. I looked out of the window, watching the way that moonlight left a silver haze over everything it touched. It was a beautiful site.

"Why are we doing this at night?"

I didn't take my gaze off of the window to ask, I was too enamored with my new sight to let go of it so quickly.

"Bella, love, we are vampires, as you can tell, the night doesn't affect our vision adversely."

He answered me rather smugly. I took my gaze off of the silver kissed trees to turn my eyes to his. I smiled; a sort of warning, before raising an eyebrow in question. Edward shifted in his seat; I would have laughed if it wouldn't have let him off the hook.

"Truly, it will decrease the likelihood of a human happening upon us as we hunt. It has rarely happened, but it has happened."

"I'm proof of that."

Emmett spoke more seriously, his eyes caught mine through the rearview mirror. As silly as Emmett could be, we both understood what a gift this life was. What was life without your soul mate? What was hell with an angel at your side?

My mood sobered as I realized that I was testing the fates by not hunting sooner. I knew the horrors a newborn could inflict upon society. I didn't want to eat humans because I was careless, because I was too busy to eat. My body tensed as my fear grew. Would I have difficulty resisting humans? Would I ever acclimate back into human society? My fear was growing, topping all other thoughts, and settling a heavy weight in my stomach.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. He kissed my head, my temple, my ear, and down my jaw. I relaxed with each kiss.

"How did you know?"

"I can tell what you're feeling."

This is something that I had garnered, but I needed answered.

"How do you mean? Can you hear my thoughts?"

"Bella, haven't you felt it too? I know you've gotten angry because I was. Were you angry because someone made me angry, or did I give you that anger?"

I took a minute to legitimately ponder that question. Did I react instinctively, my emotions echoing his, or did he feed me his emotions? I felt insecurity swell up and engulf me and I had my answer.

"So you're saying we can pass emotions back and forth? Is that my power? "

"I have no sense of control over it Bella. If I feel anything greatly, you do as well. I can't hear your thoughts, or feel your emotions, but I can feel what you are feeling. Do you understand?"

"You saying if I feel love right now, you won't feel the extent of my love, but that I love?"

"Exactly."

"I wonder if that's my power then. Maybe to project things, we should ask Carlisle."

"When we get back love, right now just relax."

I pulled myself further into him and allowed myself to lose all sense of time.

"Bella we're here."

"Where is here?"

"Denali National Park. We wanted to give you plenty of food options for your first hunt."

"Ah, so I shouldn't expect such a gourmet every time?"

Edward laughed; his voice caressing things deep inside me. I sighed and held on to him. I forced him to stay in that moment, my last moment before I was truly a vampire. I knew this is what Edward had feared, it was the bloodlust that I would have to overcome. I wanted this last moment with him before we were pulled away from it all.

"Come with me Bella, I want to show you something."

Considering I had been avoiding the upcoming hunt as well, I couldn't fault him for procrastinating on this for just a tad longer. I grabbed his outstretched hand and followed him. We walked easily through the forest, smells of every type of vegetation assaulting my nose. I could sense how long ago living animals had been in the area. It was a peculiar sense.

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost, love."

I followed him in silence, taking in everything around me. He stopped short, at a wide river. I looked at him in confusion.

"I wanted you to see yourself and this way you can see your beautiful reflection."

I'm sure my feelings were written on my face, pouring out of me, and overwhelming him. But I desperately wanted him to know how much I loved him. I couldn't explain my fear of this seemingly small moment. Would you want to see the face you'd be stuck with for eternity? What if I looked hideous, more akin to Frankenstein's bride than Edward's? Edward grabbed me and pulled me into him.

"Listen to me Bella and heed what I tell you. You are gorgeous, absolutely breath-taking. Men will fall at your feet, but only I shall ever know the beauty that lies beneath your clothes. You are mine, for eternity you will be mine, whether you look into the water or not."

I smiled, he knew my every fear. I braced myself, took a step toward the water, and looked. It was more akin to a rollercoaster ride than jumping off of a cliff. There was no up swell in the water when I looked into the gentle waves. There was only the pale faced woman looking back at me. It took me a minute to orient myself to my own reflection. It was disconcerting to see myself and not know me. I hoarded my features, wishing that if I memorized them all now I'd never have to look into another blasted mirror.

My fingers ran across my face, to reassure me that the reflection was indeed me; but to also enlighten me to the texture and shape of the new me. I was not significantly changed. The old lines were still there, but every slight imperfection was now perfected. My skin was white alabaster, my nose and checks in perfect harmony. My lips were just as large, but my forehead seemed smaller.

I nearly fell into the water when I looked into my own eyes. I understood then what had entrapped the family's interest. Instead of the standard gold, or red, that all vampires I had so far met had; my eyes were silver. They were the palest lining of silver, the possibility of the softest blue in the right lighting. The center of my eyes was red, but not a bright red, a deep burgundy. I stared into my mirror eyes for centuries before Edward broke my concentration by pulling me into him.

"You are gorgeous, absolutely stunning, now do you believe me?"

"Why are my eyes silver? Have you ever seen that before?"

"You've always been unique Bella, I'm sure Carlisle will have an idea to that. He was already formulating theories the second he processed that they were silver and not red as he first thought. Speaking of him, he is yelling punishments should I not feed you, and soon."

I was still unnerved by the mystery of my eyes but I took my husband's hand again; I would follow him anywhere, anytime.

We walked back to the family; we found them still waiting by the cars.

"I bet she'll take out a herd of deer."

"No Jasper that's too easy, one bear and a gazelle."

"Shut up Emmett, I put 100 that she'll catch an old sent of a human hiker and follow that."

"I put 200 that she won't get her hands dirty and will only eat one animal."

"Come on Rose you're no fun."

Edward's growl alerted everyone that the betting portion of this show was over. I awas offended, hurt, but amused. I knew they were betting on this, I was hurt that they had so little faith in me. I was offended that no one thought I could handle this. I scowled at them.

"I bet 300 that she'll like cats."

"Edward that's not fair, you have the inside track, you can't bet."

"Actually Emmett, if he wants to bet he can. He doesn't see the future and Alice didn't show him. Although I'm curious as to his reasoning; I'll see his 300 and raise him 100 for my herd of deer."

Jasper interceded and I stared at my husband with profound confusion. How could he participate in this? He either felt my change in emotions, or saw the hurt in my face. He swept me into a deep kiss. Instinct still made me think that he would pull away. I drew him deeper into me, trapping his tongue with my own, before he could pull away.

"I say the bet is 500, 3 on the cats, 1 on the deer, and another hundred on those two bumping uglies in front of everyone."

I pulled away from Edward reluctantly. I wasn't ready to hunt, but we needed to get away from the family. Edward looked me over, a longing to his gaze before he turned away. He held out his hand to me and I grabbed it.

"I'm going to hunt first Bella to show you what you need to do. It will come naturally, once you let your vampire instincts take over, I'm just afraid you'll over think it. I'm here to help you and protect you."

I was more afraid of his reaction to my hunt than what it would be like for me to hunt. I watched his every movement under the guise of "studying." My thoughts were turning darker as my eyes traced the graceful lines of his muscles.

"Open your senses Bella. Can you smell the deer up ahead?"

"Are they always so musty?"

Edwards quick movements stopped suddenly, I ended up running into his back, the sound echoing in the trees.

"Musty?"

His voice was deeper, huskier as he fought the bloodlust. The smell made my nostrils bunch as I tried not to breathe it in.

"Yeah it smells thick, old almost; musty is what I would call it."

Edward shook his head as he continued to the deer. His movements were swift and beautiful, taking down a deer before the herd realized a predator was in their midst. My eyes clouded with the haze of hunger. I watched Edward's lips suckle the deer's neck; a drop of blood escaped his lips. I licked my own lips.

My eyes narrowed on Edward, a cloud covered my thoughts, leaving only Edward. My body moved towards him outside of my control. I tried to stop myself, to gain some sense of dominance over my movements. Every function outside of my ability to get to Edward, slimmed.

I neared him and he looked up at me, with wrathful eyes. He growled deep and low. My body spilled for him, I didn't need to tell my body that he had control. I moved closer, unafraid of him attacking me, in fact I looked forward to it.

He hunched over his meal, once I stepped next to him; hiding his food from me. I didn't want his dinner, I wanted him. I reached out to touch him, needing to feel him to ease some of my aching. My whole body was pulsing with my need for him. Everything was amplified by my desires. I was just lucid enough to realize that I had no control over myself.

Edward snapped at me, jumping before I could touch him. I pounced on him; we landed on the ground entwined together. I licked at his neck, deeply satisfied to have captured him. A loud purr was coming from his chest. He gave in to my touch easily, succumbing to my desires for him.

We tumbled together before he captured my lips. I could taste the blood off of his lips, in the recesses of his mouth. I kissed him with wild abandon. I was frenzied, desperate for him. I was clawing at his shirt, loud keening noises emanating from my throat. He rolled us over so he was on top and tore my pants from my body.

I was too needy to argue for the proper removal of clothing. I needed him inside me, I was weak with want. I was pleading for him between my pants of air. The loud whimpers of pain filled the silence between my begging and breathing. I heard the heavy footfall of other's but I was beyond stopping. I needed Edward, or I feared what might happen. I grappled him close to me as I trembled.

He thrust his penis into me with all the urgency I begged for. I was so thankful to have him inside me that I screamed my thanks over and over. He pushed into me with vampire quickness. We weren't making love. This was a desperate bid for relief. I wasn't sure as of yet, just what we were relieving, but I was beginning to fear that answer.

I didn't like how little control I had in my new body. I was ruled by my impulses, not my thoughts. If my body needed something, I took it; simple but rather dangerous. Each forceful thrust that he slammed into me, created a loud echo to pulse through the trees. I heard the approach of our family, I had time to feel appalled and embarrassed. But Edward didn't like that my attention had faltered for a second, that something made it through my thoughts.

Edward grabbed me by my hips and pulled out slowly. He teased my center, making me cry out in anger. He pushed into me with fierce quickness and I exploded. We rode the pleasure as one, cycling through multiple orgasms. I was screaming, blinded by my usual bright stars.

I came back to myself only because of Edward's call. He was laying on me, more so that he had ever done after sex. He was resting his head on my chest and I feared that something was terribly wrong.

"Don't be afraid, I'm surprisingly rather tired. I wonder if it's just vampire sex, or just how amazing you are."

Edward's voice trailed off as he spoke into my breasts. Now that I was thinking clearly I could recognize the sounds of our surrounding family.

"Edward, the family is here."

"I know; they wanted to stop us. I couldn't let them touch you. Emmett and Jasper were going to pull us apart, but I let Alice see what I would do. They're waiting for us. Carlisle wants to have a talk, but I think it would be more prudent to rest for a moment."

"Is this a clothing optional spot; kind of like a nude beach? What is it with you too and clothes, you're tearing through your wardrobe. Hey big Eddie, what is your hot wife gonna wear to get home? Bet you didn't think that one through. Ouch Rose, quit it would ya?"

"I so get a hundred from the pot on calling that one."

"No way Jasper, we all knew they were gonna go at it, and I called it anyway."

"Stop it."

Carlisle's voice made me look up. The concern in his eyes was clear, the anger usually reserved for when we were in danger was evidently there.

"You boys may think this is a laughing matter but there is more going on than meets the eye. Have you ever been tired from sex?"

"We didn't marry a nympho. Seriously Rose quit that!"

"Emmett, if you cannot contribute to this conversation respectfully, do me a favor and get a deer for Edward and Bella. They'll need two, they're seriously weak. "

"Wait, what do you mean seriously weak?"

"Edward can you pull yourself away from Bella?"

"Give me a minute, I like this spot."

"Edward now is not the time. Once you get home, once you're both fed you can do that all you like, behind closed doors."

"I'm moving…"

Edward's voice was low; my thoughts grew frantic with worry. I tried to talk but all that came out was another keening sound from my throat. I sounded like a wounded animal. Carlisle, whom was leaning over us, jumped in alarm. Edward moved to lie beside me; he took a moment to cover my thighs with his shirt, and laid back down.

I was rather thankful now to have worn such a tent. My hands reached for Edwards and we stayed like that until Emmett returned. I heard the buzzing of my family's conversations, but it was hard to focus on anything.

"Here, Bella drink."

The deer was placed in front of my nose, this was not how I imagined my first taste of blood but I had to accept reality. I bit into the neck. I expected to love the taste, perhaps even like it, but the thick liquid filled my mouth too quickly. I spit my first mouthful out. The majority of taste is smell and this smelled unappetizing. I drank sparingly, taking down as much as I could force myself, but still not very much. I felt Edward's arms engulf me as I struggled with the deer.

"Bella you have to drink more than that. I won't lose you to hunger already. Someone get a cat, I don't care what."

"What makes you think she'll like cats?"

Emmett asked as the family echoed his question.

"Because when she awoke we mated like them."

"When you say mated, you really mean sex."

"Emmett, so help me god, if you do not go and find my wife a lion, or a bobcat, right now I will destroy every possession you own. This is serious, I know you're trying to lighten the mood, but this is not the time."

"Relax Edward, I know this is serious, give me five minutes and I'll have a bobcat or something for you."

I pushed the deer away, weakened further by the effort. I slumped into Edward, glad to be so close to him.

"He'll be back soon my love. Focus on me, don't give in to the blood lust."

I thought he was crazy. What blood lust? It tastes horrendous. I smelled the cat before I saw it. It was warm, tangy, and young. It was the opposite of what I had just forced down. There was a fight to this cat. I opened my eyes to see a lynx lying beside me. I didn't need to be told twice to have at it. It wasn't a taste so delicious it could be compared to sex, but it was deeply satisfying.

I wondered if everyone else got intense pleasure from the blood, if I was the only one that didn't. I was just happy to stand on my own once I finished. I fell into Edward's arms as he escorted me back to the car.

"Edward and Bella, you will go to my office the second we get home, we need to talk."

I had never had Carlisle speak to me like that before. The tension in my body multiplied as I realized how upset Carlisle was. I knew we were in trouble; I just didn't want him to think badly of us, to not want me now that I was changed. Edward pulled me closer and we all climbed inside our respective cars.


	22. Chatting with Carlisle

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

We stood, hands clasped, outside Carlisle's door. He had told us to enter minutes ago but I had yet to find the courage to enter the room. I wanted answers to what was happening to me, but was I strong enough to handle them? The fear that had overwhelmed me earlier toppled me with the weight of uncertainty. I would not put Edward at risk, or my health, because of fear. I took a step forward.

Edward followed my lead, allowing me to grow comfortable as he waited. Once I moved forward, Edward led the way. Carlisle's office was a piece of Forks, of his entire past, bundled into our new home. It made me feel homesick for a second. I turned to Carlisle and the concern on his face focused my thoughts. Carlisle's face looked grave, as if preparing to tell a patient something deeply unpleasant. I squeezed Edward's hand, seeking reassurance.

"Please sit Edward and Bella."

"You wanted to talk to us, Carlisle?"

Edward opened the line of communication with our father; this relieved a great deal of weight from my stomach. Now that I was in the moment, it was harder to fear what was coming. Edward squeezed my hand and I smiled.

"Yes, I would say that is obvious and rather necessary at this point."

His tone was angered and his eyes were lit with the fire of his wrath. I trembled in fear. I wasn't afraid that Carlisle would hurt me, I was afraid that he would reject me as his daughter. Edward and Carlisle were staring intently at each other, my husband giving random nods to show that they were having a silent discussion.

"I may be afraid of what is about to be said, but you both could do me the favor of at least speaking."

My own tone echoed of anger. I hated that I was so easily excluded from something that was entirely about me. Edward had a right to his privacy, but not if it I was in question.

"I'm sorry Bella. I was merely acquiring of Edward how much he had figured out on his own. I'm going to ask you some questions. I think I know what's happening but I'd like to be sure."

I nodded my assent, as did Edward.

"Bella, before we left you said that you weren't thirsty, what were you feeling?"

I thought back to the moment he mentioned and focused on what I was feeling.

"I was afraid to hunt, amused by the family's antics, but I wasn't really thirsty. I felt satisfied."

"When you first woke up and saw Edward, what did you think?"

If I could have blushed, I would have. I looked down to hide my eyes but he needed my answer.

"I needed him, at first I just wanted to be closer to him, but my instinct overtook my reasoning."

Carlisle's laugh broke me of my revelry.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to laugh. I just have a few more questions. Did you feel similarly when Edward showed you how to hunt?"

"Well at first I just wanted to touch him, but once I did everything just amplified. I couldn't stop myself even though I knew we needed to stop."

"Hmm interesting. Edward did you feel any fatigue before we found you in the forest?"

"I thought it was due to thirst, nothing drastic, it had been so long since I had felt tired I misinterpreted it."

"Do you know what's wrong with me?"

"I do have a reasonable theory. Perhaps we should start with something simple, your eyes."

"Do you know why my eyes are silver? Have you met another vampire like me?"

Carlisle laughed, a full boisterous laugh, more weight lifted from my stomach.

"Bella, I can honestly say that in all my existence I have never met another such as you. But I have, however, met some silver eyed vampires. What has Edward told you of the Denali Clan?"

I raised my brow in silent question. I had met the Denali's and not one of them had silver eyes. Did they know the silver eyed vampires? I focused on his question but I found only a vague remembering that they had been mentioned; I looked to Edward to answer.

"I explained that they were the originators of the succubus myth, as well that they liked their men of all persuasions."

Carlisle nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer. I used that new bit of information to try and remember the conversation, I came up blank.

"Bella bear with me, I believe that you have a gift, a rather unique gift, and I'm trying to find the best way to help you understand it. If I am right you will be the first vampire in a few centuries to have this gift."

I was floored; what gift? Hundreds of years? My thoughts circled off into other questions that would plague me until answered. Still what does this have to do with the Denali's?

"Edward explained to you that the three Denali sisters were the originators of the succubus legend. There was a coven of female vampires in Greece that preyed on human males. These vampires used sex as a punishment, killing the man by draining his blood, with the force of their sex. Tanya and her sisters were a part of this, as well as some others who are no longer in existence."

I nodded, I got that memo.

"What does this have to do with me?"

"Bella one of the women in that coven had silver eyes, she carried a special gift, and every vampire she sired carried it as well. It hasn't been seen since I was a young vampire because the Volturi killed the coven."

I sucked in a deep unnecessary breath of air. Edward lifted me and placed me on his lap, having him so close was a comfort to me, and I sighed.

"Why would the Volturi get involved, what is my gift?"

I was trembling with fear, not a very vampire like thing to do. Edward's touch was smoothing my emotions and relaxing my body wherever he touched.

"Bella I don't think we need to worry about the Volturi, the coven wasn't killed because of this gift, but the way in which they used it. It's called the ardeur and essentially it's a secondary feeding source, you can feed off of sex to sustain you until you feed from blood."

"You mean I'm a sex demon?"

My fear was replaced with a great amount of indignation.

"Bella all those myths are unfounded. You are not a demon, you're not going to suck the life out of men, and I highly doubt you'll have more than one lover."

Edward pulled me tight into him and I felt his wrath licking through my body.

"No I will be her only lover."

Carlisle looked up to Edward and smiled, seemingly remembering that he was with us.

"There is no reason for her to need other lovers, Edward that is another misconception. Because Bella can feed off of sex, she has gifts that will enhance the sexual experience for her and her lover, you. Other vampires have used those gifts to create a harem of sexual partners. There was no need for it, only a desire for more partners."

Edward turned to me with quickly darkening eyes.

"Do you desire more lovers?"

"Nnno."

I stuttered slightly, alarmed by the question. Why would Edward think I wanted anyone else, just because I was a freak of a vampire and couldn't eat normally; or a freak of a wife that couldn't have sex normally? I laid my head against Edward's shoulder, seeking solace. My head was swimming with my failures as a woman and a vampire.

"Bella I wasn't questioning your love, please calm down. I only wanted to ensure all your needs were met."

"You would have let me have other lovers?"

"Never, but then I would have known that you wanted them. I hadn't worked out what to do once I acquired that knowledge."

I shook my head, which rubbed my face against his neck. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, securing me, and kissed the top of my head. I sighed and prepared myself for more.

"I have so many questions I'm not even sure where to start."

"With whatever you feel comfortable with Bella."

"I wouldn't say I feel comfortable but I do need to know this. Why were Edward and I so weak earlier? Am I hurting him with this ardeur?"

"I believe that your feeding gift kicked in the second you awoke as a vampire. Newborns are ravenous in their bloodlust, yet you remained quite lucid. I have two theories on that, which could both be related and only one theory. I believe that you were feeding on Edward immediately and that helped you maintain some sense of control. However, you were lucid before we left you to your privacy, which leads me to believe that this amplified connection you two have formed is also sustaining you."

"What do you think the connection is? Is it because of the ardeur, or just because we were close beforehand?"

"One of the common smaller gifts of the ardeur is the ability to find suitable lovers. I believe that during the transformation your ardeur was reaching out to find you a mate, to ensure your survival once you turned. Your previous deep connection to Edward just made it a quicker process. The connection has only been deepened by your use of the ardeur."

"Will I ever be able to control it, or will it just flare up whenever? I couldn't control myself at all earlier and I could have harmed Edward."

"We need you to hunt frequently; Edward will be hunting as often as you do. I want you both well fed until we can figure out when the ardeur flares, or what your triggers are.

"But I didn't really like the blood."

"I'm sorry Bella but you cannot single handedly make the cats of Alaska extinct, you're going to have to find suitable meals that won't disgust you. I would recommend animals that you have to chase; the hunt will make the blood more appealing to you."

"I will be there with you every time love; we'll find something you can eat."

Edward kissed the top of my head and I relaxed further. I was worried, incredibly anxious about what this gift would mean for us. We had already had a lifetime of mortification since I turned, because this ardeur felt the need to play in front of the family.

"I think for the time being we should focus on both of you feeding frequently and we'll have to observe you to ensure that no other gifts of this ardeur come up. There is a long list of powers that build on the ardeur but I don't want to scare you with the possibilities. I will need you both to be honest with me about any strange occurrences that happen."

"Would the multiple orgasms I've been having be part of that deal?"

Edward's voice was light and amused; I wondered what Carlisle had been thinking. Carlisle looked up to Edward, from the spot on his desk that he was attentively watching, and smiled.

"That is exactly what I mean. Did that happen one time or every time since she turned?"

"That would be every time since she turned, I'm growing attached to them actually."

I smiled along with Edward.

"Yes, that is a power of the ardeur; apparently Bella can carry you along with her orgasms."

"Emmett is going to be so mad at me."

We all laughed, Edward effectively lightening the mood.

"Do you have any more questions?"

I tried to think of anything but came up blank.

"No I don't think so."

"Good, I want you both to feed frequently and we'll meet up weekly to check your progress on keeping up with the ardeur."

"What happens if we don't feed enough?"

"Bella, you were both starving earlier. If you pushed past that point your vampire instincts would take over and you would likely hunt humans. In your case you might take on a sea of lovers, similar to the Denali clan, to feed yourself."

All humor left the room with our breath. Suddenly the smell of blood didn't seem as difficult a task as before. Edward and I looked at one another and no words were necessary. We would be hunting a lot. He had promised me not to let me take a human and I had promised him my fidelity. I would not let anything take me away from him.

Edward stood and I followed his leave. We left Carlisle to his research, likely looking up other gifts of the ardeur. I wanted something to take my thoughts away from the dangers we were facing. My anxiety was growing as my thoughts spiraled in various directions. I needed something to calm me and bring me back to the present.

"Let's go spend time with the family, love. Alice has been dying to spend time with you and it should cheer you up."

I agreed and we walked down to meet our family. My heart was heavy, but I knew I would find a way. Edward and I would find a way to make it work. Forever wasn't something I took lightly and I wouldn't lose that now that I finally had a grasp on it. Starting immediately we were going to work hard on getting control over the ardeur.

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Bottom of Form


	23. Jasper

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

Edward led the way down to the living room. We needed family time, something to take our minds off of the severity of what we had just learned. He pulled me into his arms and captured my lips in a deep kiss. These small moments made my stone heart glad that I had made the change. I no longer needed air; I could kiss him as long as I wanted, and I used that to my every advantage. Edward pulled away first and I followed him into the living room.

"I wuvs you Emmey whemmy."

I stopped mid step, a look of horror overtaking my face. Rose using baby talk was something my frail mind couldn't handle. Edward's laughter boisterously overtook the room. He was bending himself over in laughter, I wasn't sure if it was what we walked in on, or the look on my face.

"Damnit Edward, we were busy in here."

Rose removed herself from Emmett's, or rather Emmey's lap to glare at our intrusion. I couldn't bring myself to laugh; the revulsion was too deeply settled. Edward couldn't seem to straighten himself and I found quiet giggles slipping through my mouth. His amusement spilled over to me, forcing more frequent laughs from my mouth, while he managed to stand up straight.

"I'm sorry Rose, truly sorry to have witnessed that. Please forgive our intrusion; we thought we were meeting up with the family, not walking in on one of your weird sex games."

"I'll have you know Edward, that baby talk is a common thing among couples."

"If that's the next stage of our relationship Edward, I might just vomit."

Rose and Edward turned to me, both with the same look of shock on their face.

"What? It's totally creepy."

Rose glared at me while Emmett's laughter rang throughout the room.

"Either you get it Bells, or you don't. I see why it'd bother you, what with all that babyin' you got from Edward as a human."

Edward growled at Emmett before he could finish his sentence. I rolled my eyes. It seemed that these two couldn't play nice together. Emmett enjoyed egging Edward on too much.

"Maybe that was one of our weird sex games Emmey."

Rose was visibly choking on her anger, but Edward's musical laugh overrode everyone else's reaction. I was rather proud of myself for getting back at both Emmett and Rose in one swing.

"Oh right Bells; I forgot you're both little nymphos. You probably have a whole plethora of sex games. I swear it's always the quiet ones."

I smirked rather coyly.

"Oh Emmey, I have more than just sex games, I have powers."

Edward's laughter fell away. I didn't want him to take this so seriously and I didn't want to upset him. I jumped into a standard super-hero pose in order to lighten what we inevitably would tell our siblings. Alice, with her perfect timing, walked in at that moment, Jasper trailing in her wake.

"No Bella, super-heroes have costumes and you my dear, are in need of a serious fashion update."

"What are you, my sidekick fashionista?"

"Please Bella, I have a cool power, I'm not a sidekick, I'm the other half of your dynamic duo."

I pulled the adorable pixie into my arms, startling her with my unexpected hug.

"You know I love you Alice, you're a wonderful sister."

"Hey what about me, no love for Emmey?"

"Not if you talk about yourself in the third person, but yes Emmey you make a wonderful sister."

Alice and I erupted in giggles; Emmett retaliated by throwing the couch cushions at us.

"Now you were going to tell us about these powers of yours?"

Alice's tiny stature and the twinkling ring of her voice conjured images of faeries and sprites in my mind. She bounced her way to the couch, forcing Jasper to move with her. Jasper managed a graceful trot behind her, half skip, and half walk. I didn't think any of the other men in this room could pull it off, but Jasper had years of experience. He winked at me when he caught my gaze and sat swiftly next to his wife, making it seem as one movement.

"I must say I'm intrigued to discover what has your emotions all over the place and my wife more excited than usual."

Jasper kissed the top of Alice's head; the gesture caused an up swell of love in me. I loved this family and I was happy to be a part of it. Edward sensed my change in emotions, or heard Jasper's thoughts, because he pulled me into his arms. Edward's lips left the softest, barest of kisses across my face. My breath fanned out softly, his name a whisper on the air.

"Hey you two stop that. You've got an audience remember, though I seem to recall you two ignoring that fact recently."

Emmett's reality check brought me back from my Edward induced high. A different sigh left my lips as I dwelt on what I would have to say. Fear swelled in me as my thoughts led down the treacherous path of what ifs. I was terrified of not knowing what would happen; but I could be sure deep within my soul that Edward would be there with me every step of the way.

Edward pressed his hands under my shirt, on my bare skin, and it soothed some of my growing fear. His eyes told me exactly what he was thinking and it was the reassurance I needed. I breathed in deeply, more from habit than need, and turned to our siblings.

"We think we know what my power is."

"Yeah we got that part, you're a nympho and you made Edward one too."

Everyone turned to look at Emmett, Rose smacked him in the back of the head. I was beginning to think that she hit him out of habit rather than annoyance. She couldn't be upset about Emmett insulting me, but then again Rose had a strange sense of morals and priorities.

"Actually he's kind of right."

"Wait, what? I was just joking around."

Emmett looked to me with genuine concern, like my answer might shift his world. I figured it was like pulling a band aid off, the quicker the better.

"I'm kind of like a succubus, I can feed off of lust or sex until I find blood."

Sometimes you can tell more of what a person is thinking by what they're not saying and the silence that blanketed the room screamed out to me. I could hear the questions and concerns that my family was consumed with. Only Alice seemed unfazed.

"Alice I was wondering, can you see when the ardeur is going to take over?"

"No Bella I have tried. I can see you guys get intimate, or once it's taken over how it changes your decisions but you don't decide to do it."

I had worried, rather idly, that it might make me invisible to her. The uncertainty and rashness of the ardeur might be compared to the werewolves. That Alice could see my future outside of the ardeur gave me a great amount of hope. First I needed to focus on control.

"So let me get this straight, your power is basically to have sex all the time?"

I didn't know Rose well enough to read the intonations in her voice but I was alarmed because both Edward and Jasper were looking at her warily.

"Well, in short, yes."

I didn't want to play the question and answer game. My family needed to know but that didn't mean I needed to be comfortable telling them all the sordid details. I was happy with the laundry list, anything beyond that was too much information.

"Little innocent shy Bella is the vampire with sexual powers? I can't understand that. It's like me winning a humility award."

I could only be so forgiving with her before my patience ran out; only a saint could deal with Rosalie.

"Perhaps the way she was changed influenced her power. We all made bets to how her sharpened sense of smell would affect her as a vampire."

I wasn't the only one surprised to find Jasper jumping to my aid. Of all the people in the room, Jasper was not the one I would have expected to argue on my behalf. I smiled widely at him, thankful to have his support, even if it was only a small amount.

"How will you be able to control it so that I am not overwhelmed by your constant desires?"

Jasper's question didn't have the severity or tint of anger that Rose managed. This softened me up and I found myself answering him honestly.

"I don't know Jasper. I'm going to have to hunt frequently, but gaining control of the ardeur is my first priority. Whatever I can do to master this, I will do, as long as it fits within my code of ethics."

I added the last part because I didn't like the look Rose gave me. I would never trade my morals for control. Edward and I would find a way to cope, within the boundaries that we were comfortable with. **There was no way I would take on other lovers**.

"We'll move away if it's too difficult on the family. We don't want to make you leave the house every time we're intimate, Jasper. On the other hand, we really appreciate the extra support."

I loved that Edward said we. It was one of those small things that only couples did and it made me feel warm inside. It had the added affect of pulling things deep inside me tight and I grabbed his hands to stable myself. I could feel the naked flesh of my stomach under my hands, as Edward's hands were still playing across my skin. It was a soothing anchor to have his skin touching mine and I focused on trying to understand what he was saying rather than the feelings that were rising up in me.

"What does it feel like?"

Alice sounded serious, her voice unlike the usual cheeriness she exuded.

"If feels like starvation almost, like I'm desperate to eat, but that nothing is enough. It's overwhelming but powerful at the same time. It's a great high but it's terrifying to be lost to my body, unable to control myself."

"Do you feel it too Edward?"

This was from Jasper. My love took a minute to think on what he would say.

"It feels all those ways to me as well, but I get the added benefit of being rolled with her orgasms. It's a great high, especially because I don't need to stay in control, but it is overwhelming. It's a desperate need to be hers, to claim her and be claimed. I cannot explain it and give it justice."

Edward sighed with frustration and I ran my hands down his arms.

"Do you guys have some freaky mind thing now too?"

Emmett's voice broke me from my thoughts on Edward.

"No Emmett, I can feel that Bella is feeling something in particular, but only if she is feeling it over all other emotions. I cannot feel the depth of her feeling, but being able to tell what she is feeling helps me know what she is thinking."

"It also warns you to when she needs you, interesting."

"Yes, I believe it has that added benefit."

"Can you feel when the ardeur rises in her?"

"I'm not sure Jasper, we were unaware that anything was different, we just thought we were lost to the passions of the honeymoon phase."

"Was she a screamer before or is that just now?"

Emmett's question got him a thump on a head.

"Hey wait, you said you feel her orgasms, you mean like you have the same kind of orgasms she does? How is that possible?"

Edward's laugh was a masculine sound. His voice echoed his male bravado. The smug look on his face only added to his stance of testosterone.

"I have the same orgasms I had before, but every time she feeds, she orgasms multiple times, each one of those times she pulls me in for every one. Instead of orgasming once, I can orgasm multiple times."

"You mean like two times?"

"No I mean like eight times."

There was a heavy silence from the men in the room, while the women looked intrigued.

"Damnit Edward, I hate you."

I would normally try and make Emmett feel better but the pout on his face forced an Emmett like reaction from me, I burst into hysterics.

"It's not funny, only Edward could go from being a hundred year old virgin to married to a succubus."

"That my friend is called irony."

Jasper jumped into the fray as my laughter died down.

"Okay, now are we done with the question and answer session?"

Everyone nodded; I think they were still frazzled from the last question.

"Let's play a game, bet I can still beat Eddy on Rock Band."

"I bet 20 bucks that Eddy can beat you on any song in expert mode."

"No way, I own expert."

Jasper and Emmett were going back and forth, Emmett's competitive nature not letting him be beat by Edward for long. I rolled my eyes and looked to Alice, she would decide.

"Sit down; we're watching a movie and before you boys protest its Die Hard."

We all settled into the couches to watch the movie. Now that the question and answer portion of the day was over, I could focus more on my own thoughts on the matter.

The movie started playing. I noticed only because the series of colors flashing before my eyes changed dramatically. I stared at the television as my thoughts circled dangerously on the ardeur. I wondered how I could gain control, or what control would actually equate to. Could I affectively shut down the ardeur and only use it when I wanted? Or would I be forever encumbered by my need to keep it fed?

My head swirled and my body clung to Edward, not for support in a bodily sense, but for comfort. I leaned my head on the crevice of his neck and breathed in his scent. Taking in Edward's scent calmed my thoughts and soothed the growing chasm of emotion that was settled in my chest. But being so near Edward had another natural and immediate response from my body.

My breasts perked and the muscles in my abdomen tightened, as my center swelled and throbbed. My body was ready for him, even though my mind was still in turmoil. If I had any control over myself I wouldn't be preparing for intimacy. I couldn't imagine wanting sex. It wasn't that I didn't want Edward, but that I felt dirty for needing it. How could I not want Edward? That train of thought set my eyes to trace the muscled lines of Edward's clothes. He was wearing clothing just tight enough to hint at the body that I knew was beneath the fabric.

I licked my suddenly dry lips and clenched my fists in a bid to retain some control. Edward's body looked calm and indifferent to my struggle, but the fires burning in his gaze said quite clearly that he knew his affect on me. It was frustrating that just a smell, touch, or sound, could render me speechless and incapable of resisting him. I was at his mercy and sometimes I wished he were under mine.

The look in his eyes forced my body to spill for him, soaking my panties. The wetness made me squirm uncomfortably in my seat in an attempt to relieve some of my ache for him. Jasper turned to us and the look on his face cooled my lust. I focused on not taking Edward right here, right now. Not making his head fall back and his voice call my name in ecstasy; on not tearing through his clothes to find the treasures underneath, on not taking him in my mouth, in the very center of me. With everything inside of me I focused my thoughts on not doing everything that I wanted.

My body pulsed and throbbed with need for my husband. It was more than just a desire to see him naked, I could feel the difference now. I knew that the ardeur was rising and my ability to think was leaving me. I focused harder on not thinking of the god next to me. Jasper coughed, it was an obvious show of annoyance since vampires didn't cough on accident. I turned to my brother and focused on him.

Jasper was stiff with anger, his eyes dark as his mood. Alice sat on his lap and she tried to soothe him to calm. His eyes were glaring daggers into my head. It hurt that he was so upset with me and I couldn't be rational about it, I was too close to the issue. I couldn't see that this was upsetting his home and wreaking havoc on him emotionally. I could only see that one of my siblings, one that I had longed to be close to, was very angry with me.

The hurt helped me focus and I found it much easier to push the lust down. My body trembled when I managed to shut it down, but my joy was immediate. It was my first attempt not to give into the ardeur and I was rather proud of myself. Edward pulled me closer to him and kissed my head. I pushed him away only because I feared what smelling him, touching him, and kissing him might do to my control.

Jasper's eyes found their way back to the television but my eyes were still watching him. Focusing on him had helped me, but the hurt from his anger was still there. It was one of my secret truths; I wanted to belong to this family. I wanted Jasper to like me, more than I had ever wanted Rose to. Edward sensed my unease and held my hands. The skin on skin contact was soothing and I sighed in relief.

Edward started to kiss my neck, trailing down his familiar path. This was a fine line to walk, because anything could trigger the ardeur. But I had already pushed him away once; I wasn't strong enough to do it again. I sighed in pleasure and the sound made Jasper look at me. The look of anger was back and my own emotions were jumping because of it.

"Will you two quit it? I can't go anywhere in this house safely. If you would like some privacy, I would be happy to grant it. But may I remind you that you invited us all to stay and you are in a public, family friendly room."

I felt horrible. I had given no real thought to how this was affecting Jasper. I wanted to make things better for him, but was hopeless as to how. My emotions were going haywire, bouncing between the lows and highs, and staying safely in lust. I was growing angry with Jasper for being upset. I couldn't help it, I wanted him to like me and he didn't. It was childish, but at the moment I felt rather small. Jasper turned back to the television but Edward's glare burned holes in the back of Jasper's head.

"Perhaps we should retire love; it seems we are no longer wanted here."

Edward ran his hand down my legs, squeezing my thighs as he spoke. He was leading me, getting me to move with his wiles. I smiled at him, suddenly glad to be leaving. He stood to leave and I did as well.

"No, please don't go. I've missed you Bella. Jasper will be nice, I promise."

Alice was using her infamous pout on me, who could deny such a face? I caved, but only because I really did love her. I looked briefly at Jasper to see if he minded, but he was studiously looking the other way. I sat back on the couch, pulling Edward down next to me by his hand. He sighed in impatience but settled in next to me.

"But I wanted to have my way with you."

Edward was pouting and the very thought made me burst into laughter. His pout grew more pronounced due to my laughter. There was only one way to solve such a condition… I leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. There was no growing of lust or desire. No, there was a sudden and complete blanketing of my thoughts.

I went from gently pressing my lips on his, to tearing his clothes from his body. My movements were quick; there was nothing human to my actions. Only vampire quickness and animal need had room to play now. Edward tore at my clothes and I growled at him. I couldn't stop to think about my reaction to him, or my actions, but I knew that I wanted him my way.

"Get out of the room now guys. I can't hold this in much longer."

I heard Jasper from a sea away. I was beyond the ability to comprehend what he was saying, but I understood when I heard the loud footsteps of the other vampires. Everyone was leaving the room with their own vampire speed. From the dull sounds around me I figured we were alone. I couldn't have stopped if we weren't, but privacy afforded me more freedom.

I sat on his lap once his clothes were shredded. I used the angle I was at to force him deep into me. The feel of his hardness, the force of the thrust, and the lack of preparation, made a delicious friction. Every thrust rubbed my clit against his pelvis, his hair aided in rubbing against me. My moans were a constant song.

I rode Edward as if the very foundation of the earth needed each thrust. The force of my hips rocked the couch, and the sound of slapping skin rang in the room. I was growling in pleasure, glad to have him inside of me, but I needed more, this wasn't enough.

Without warning Edward picked me up by my ass, keeping his penis sheathed within me. He laid me back on the coffee table and kneeled down on his knees. He let his hands go, so that only the table held me, and he thrust deeply into me. It was a completely different sensation than before, where I had ridden him. He managed to touch everywhere inside of me. A slight turn of his hips and he touched me deeper.

"Is that good?"

By the tone of his voice I knew that he was enjoying it just as much as I was. But I couldn't form words. My moans grew louder, but no comprehensible words escaped my lips. I tried, desperate to say something.

"Yes, yes."

Escaped my mouth… Now that I could say something, yes seemed the only word capable of escaping my lips. His thrusts into me, forced my head up and whenever he pulled out, it would fall back on the table. He pounded into me and my mouth screamed yes. I was so close to the edge that my body writhed with constant shudders of pleasure. I kneaded my fingers into his flesh, scratching, and pulling at his back. He moaned my name and I shook. He stopped moving altogether and I growled in anger.

He moved his hips slightly, teasing me. I cried out in anger. I needed him to move, to bring me over the edge of bliss. Only Edward had that power, only Edward could make me beg. My moans tried to become words but I was beyond speaking. I pulled him into me by my nails digging into his back. He moaned deeply and the vibration of it caressed my body.

Once I got his skin against mine, I thrust my hips upwards. Edward growled at me but he resumed his movements. I wasn't beyond holding him down and just having my way with him, so his cooperation was helpful. His skin rubbing against mine pushed me over the edge.

I screamed my release, as my body fed on his. I fed on the power of his sex, on all the love I felt for him, and that he felt for me. I felt satisfied and that soothed me. I could think again. We rolled together in our orgasms, the pulse of pleasure a continual song. When we finally came back from the orgasm we heard a loud yowling, almost pained, and we jumped apart.

We had nothing to dress in, our clothes were shredded. We stood, naked, looking for the noise. Edward looked past the living room to the dining room. I followed his gaze to see Jasper bowed over on all fours. He was howling in pain and his hands were putting holes through the floor.

Edward stood in front of me, his nakedness blocking mine from view. I held on to Edward for support. This was beyond my ability to understand. Jasper was more than just uncomfortable, he was physically pained. He cried out and I stepped forward in reaction. Edward's body stopped mine, but my heart ached to ease Jasper's suffering.

Alice came running to him, her cries of horror echoing what I felt. I didn't want this for them. She forced his body upright and put herself in his arms. The effect was immediate and although Jasper's cries still rang, the sound of suffering was dismal in comparison to his earlier yells. Alice spoke into his ear and he rocked her back and forth. He cried out again.

"I can't hold it anymore."

I heard Alice whisper to him "then let it go" before I was rocked by another series of orgasms. I fell into Edwards embrace as the pleasure pulsed through me; it was exactly what I had felt as we came together in the living room. My body was wracked with pleasure, rounds of orgasms, my yells only helped to release the overwhelming pleasure. I couldn't think rationally, but my body knew this wasn't new, this was a repeat of what I had just felt.

When I came to my limbs, I was on the floor, nestled in Edward's arms. His embrace covered me from view, as if even lost in pleasure, he needed to protect me, or perhaps keep me as his. I knew when he returned to himself because his grip on me tightened. I wasn't the only one who had felt it, Jasper had sent a pulse throughout the house that took everyone in it on the journey of my orgasm. My spider sense tingled before I heard the yell.

"Damnit Bella."

Jasper was standing before us; the anger was emanating waves around him. His eyes showed the controlled power of his emotions. I trembled in Edward's embrace, not for bodily fear, but for what this sibling might say.

I watched Jasper's lips open and closed. He seemed too wrathful to speak. Edward's hands wrapped around me to completely cover me and a loud growl erupted from his chest. I was losing Edward to the animal. He would protect me from Jasper, but I didn't want to know at what cost.

Edward picked me up, standing with me cradled in his arms. He placed me on my feet and turned his back so that his body hid me. Edward stood protectively in front of me, both he and Jasper ready to fight. Alice stood at Jasper's back, trying to calm him. I was terrified about what might happen.

"Jasper, Edward, what's going on here?"

Carlisle stood at the top of the stairs, his face covered in concern. He moved quickly towards us, the standoff between the brothers not dissipating.

"Nothing is going on here Carlisle, Jasper had a problem and it has been dealt with."

"Yes, everyone in the house felt that problem; it was bound to happen sooner or later. We can work on control later, now what is the problem here?"

I would have been a deep red ages ago if I were human. But as I stood behind Edward, naked, and trembling, my fears were much grander than a member of my family seeing me naked.

"Can't you keep it in your pants until I can leave the room? It's all I ask, but no Edward has his way whenever he wants it. "

Jasper pushed against Edward and I was thrown back by the motion. I hit the wall and the sound rang loudly through the house. The tears welled in my eyes, but I had no release for them. Edward roared when he saw what happened to me and he moved to push Jasper. I screamed no and Edward stopped moving.

I didn't want to start a fight and I certainly didn't want Alice through the other wall. Emmett's loud voice rumbled through the room.

"Both of you stop it now, before you put both your wives through the house."

Emmett moved between them and I breathed a sigh of relief. I moved to stand and as I did Jasper's words rang through my soul.

"I'm not the problem, she is."

I tried to be logical, to not take his words deep within me, but the hit hurt deep within me. I felt rejected and unwanted and that caused a great chasm to grow in my chest. I fell from the hole in the wall onto the floor, clutching my chest. I heard the yells of my family but my thoughts had narrowed. I breathed deeply, out of habit, to calm myself.

My thoughts focused only on one thing. I wasn't wanted. I didn't belong.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	24. Familiar

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I fell into myself, lost to fears that I couldn't name. I felt unwanted and alone. I was unaware of anything but the tearing in my chest, of the sinking weight in my stomach. This pain felt familiar, like a friend I loved once but lost touch with. I tried to recall what had led me to such pain but only glimpses of the past made it through. The more I focused on what happened before, the harder it became to remember, to tell where I was.

I saw glimpses of forest, of a house I remembered as Charlie's, of voices calling my name. I could hear those voices as if far away from where I was. I didn't bother to answer; they wouldn't have heard me anyway. I struggled to place the runaway memories and a shock of bronze hair appeared. The look in Edward's eyes brought it all back. I felt the force of the memory slam into my gut. I felt the sensation of falling, of my face hitting something hard, but I couldn't open my eyes.

I knew this pain now, could name the loss that overwhelmed my senses. Edward had left me, had said he didn't love me. The memories of that forest, of the time without Edward, forced me to question whether I wanted to open my eyes, Edward didn't want me. The tears that swarmed my eyes were trapped and without that minor release it felt as if everything inside me was caged. I heard the sound of a wounded animal, heard the call of my name, but I couldn't fight it. I gave into the pain and knew nothing else.

I lost all sense of myself as I crawled deeper within my cage. I knew this pain, although I could never outlive it, I could find comfort in giving in to it, to my own end. I could find the end. I could not find the strength to survive this pain again, if Edward didn't want me then there was nothing.

"Bella Cullen, so help me if you don't answer me right now I will shake you until you do."

I flinched from the sound. A bear was yelling at me. I focused on the voice rather than the excruciating pain. I couldn't comprehend what would make a bear yell at me.

"Bella, Edward is here, he isn't leaving, we're all here and we love you. Now if you don't get up right now I'm going to beat Jasper up. You wouldn't want to explain to Alice why she doesn't have a husband, would you? Or tell poor Esme why she lost a son?"

Emmett was the bear. A strangled sound escaped my throat, it sounded like a grotesque mix of a gurgle and laugh. I refocused on what Emmet was saying that Edward was here, that I was wanted. Why did I think he didn't want me? Jasper's cruel words came back to me and I flinched internally.

"Bella, please open your eyes, I'm so sorry. You're my sister, you're my wife's best friend, and this family isn't complete without you. I promise I didn't mean it, I was only trying to help you and I messed it all up."

Jasper's remorse was clear in his voice and I felt guilty for not answering him. I wanted to open my eyes, I wanted to find the strength to stand but I still didn't have the fight to.

"Bella, my love, please, whatever it takes, I'll do it, just don't leave me."

The pain in my Edward's voice had my body reacting before my mind could form commands. My eyes snapped open searching for him, as my hands reached blindly to find him. I saw my brothers' faces, the pain and remorse, before my gaze settled on my husband's eyes.

The look in Edward's eyes gave me the strength to stand and pull myself closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me. He placed his lips to the crevice on my neck and I sighed in reaction. For the moment I wanted to melt into him and forget everything but the feel of his body pressed against mine. I breathed in his smell and was further calmed.

"Bella put this on."

"Leave me alone Alice, I don't want to play dress up right now."

"Bella, you may not realize this but you're naked right now, just put on this dress."

Edward pulled my body to his in reassurance before his grip loosened. I groaned in agitation but took the proffered cloth from Alice. I slipped the dress over my head with vampire quickness and moved back to the comfort of Edward's embrace.

"Edward and Bella why don't you guys go hunt, I'm sure you'd like the alone time."

Esme's caring voice focused my attention on her. I looked around the room to find the family standing around us. I expected to see annoyance from Rose or boredom from some of my family members. However, the entire family looked on at us with great concern. They were all posed as if I were a glass vase about to break. I couldn't decide whether this comforted me or annoyed me.

I decided that it was better not to question how it made me feel and instead followed her advice. I led Edward outside by his hand. He followed my lead, his chest just barely touching my back as we walked. We moved in silence, I was still gathering myself, reassuring myself that he was here. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. I wondered if I could tell what he was feeling by focusing on it. My curiosity gave me something light to think on and I found myself trying to feel what he was feeling.

A great sense of love covered me, like a favorite quilt, but this love was more than just a favorite. I could feel Edward in my very bones, but a sense of deep fear settled into me. It took me a moment to overcome the fear before I could challenge what my Edward feared. The idea clicked in my head like a light bulb.

"I'm not leaving you Edward, I'm never leaving you."

I hoped that he could feel my resolve, my love for him, my need to be with him. To be sure I forced all those thoughts to my face, showing him with what little I could, how much I needed him.

"I would hope not, but you gave me quite the scare. If it's too much to live here, you and I can go off on our own. You're my first priority Bella."

His hands ran down my arms as his words caressed deep inside of me. Wounds from the past, from the fear of losing him, healed as if they were never there. His voice, his touch, the very nearness of him wiped the slate clean. I wanted to wrap myself up in him, but that was a constant, not an after affect of recent trauma. I pushed my body into his, finding that spot that formed my body into his like a puzzle.

"We don't need to leave. We can stay with the family; I don't want to upset them."

Edward squeezed my body into his to emphasize his point as he spoke.

"You will focus on what you need Bella, on developing control and being a newborn, not on our family. Every couple has left to be on their own, no one will fault us for it. If it's too hard for you, we will leave; I won't hurt you to make them happy."

Guilt settled over me as I thought of Esme, how could we leave her? I thought of Alice and how sad she would be, even Emmett would be upset. I shook my head to show my answer as my thoughts circled my family.

"Let's get you fed first, you're hungry, then we can talk."

He pulled me along with him as he moved deeper into the forest. I breathed in deeply, smelling for prey. I had loved the smell of the forest as a human, but it was nothing compared to now. I could smell the life of every creature within the forest, the stages of health and decay. I could smell the moisture in the soil and the drought of the bark. If I were not so thirsty the smells would easily distract me, but the distinct smell of moose overpowered my senses.

Moose were everywhere here. They were large beasts, larger than most of the bear population. They were even more aggressive than people realized, the things were fearless. I wondered if it would be tasty, or would it be as disgusting as deer? I pondered these idle, thirst induced thoughts, as I trailed after the moose.

The fruits of my labor were quick; I found a family of moose not far into the trail. They sensed me before I could claim one and the fight began. While two ran for cover the male took me head on. I felt the thrill of the hunt, the anticipation of the upcoming meal, the certainty that I would win. There was a sense of satisfaction to earning the meal, opposed to the dinners of my past. The male charged me, his antlers making a beeline for my chest. I grinned in satisfaction.

Only the strongest of the herd grow antlers, the alphas of their group. It would mean a delicious fight and an even better meal. I heard Edward's protests and exclamations behind me. He worried for my safety, taking on such an animal on my own, as well as excited for the fight. He threw out advice as often as his precautions. I rolled my eyes and turned myself over to the hunt.

I breathed in deeply, my body crouched, and I waited for the antlers to come within reach. The moose charged me fearlessly. When his antlers came at my chest I grabbed them with vampire quickness. The motion gave me the momentum I needed to pick up the animal and slam him. The angle allowed me a perfect spot onto its neck and I took my prize.

I was prepared to hate the blood. But the anticipation seemed to allow for a better meal because it was not nearly as bad as I remembered. The blood was warm, I could taste the fight in it, and it left a certain tang to the blood. I moaned as I sucked down my food. At least I knew now that I needed more of a fight with my prey. I couldn't be satisfied with only the lame prey.

I finished the moose off and went immediately to disposing of the body. Emmett liked to crush his into dust, I think because he liked to show off his strength. Carlisle felt we should bury the animals because then they'd fulfill their life cycle by providing vegetation with food. I understood his argument, next time I would bury the remains. But this time I reveled in my new strength.

I dusted my hands off, a Cheshire grin overwhelming my face. Edward's arms found their place around my waist and I leaned back into him.

"Feel better, my love?"

"Much better, actually. That was much more fun than I expected."

"The hunt does make for a better meal. I should have told you that sooner. I still find it hard not to protect you from the vampire inside of me. "

I grinned wickedly and turned in his arms.

"Oh I think the vampire in you has enjoyed finding me, over and over."

Edward's grin grew as mischievous as mine, he swept my feet out from under me and forced me to hang on to him by his neck. I couldn't be hurt by falling, but I still reacted as if afraid of the ground. When this thought formed I found myself laughing at the absurdity of my reaction.

"What are you laughing at?"

"I'm still afraid of falling. You'd think being virtually indestructible would cure me of that fear, wouldn't you?"

"Only you, Bella. Do me a favor and try not to fall, you might actually hurt yourself, and I couldn't bear to lose you."

I laughed louder.

"Now who's being absurd?"

"Are you happy Bella?"

Edward's face turned abruptly serious, signifying the turn in his thoughts. I knew the question hidden in his question, was I happy with him? I felt that I didn't need to answer that question, that the answer should be obvious. But Edward's question showed that it wasn't as obvious to him.

"I have never been as happy as I am when I am with you. The joy of being with you all the time is magnificent. I'll be honest and say that some of this has been harder than I thought, but nothing has been too hard or too much to be with you."

I ran my hands through his hair, occupying myself as he took in my words.

"You promise Bella? Tell me that this is really what you would wish for yourself, now that you know what it's like, would you ever go back?"

"No, never!"

My answer was louder and more emphatic than I meant, but it got my point across. There was no need to consider it, nothing in this life could make me regret giving up my old life for Edward. This was what I had always wanted and now that I had it, I would gladly pay the consequence.

Edward's grin grew crooked once satisfied that I was happy. He sat me up in his arms so that I was now straddling him and pulled me into his body. I stand by that I cannot be held responsible for certain reactions that I have to him. So I take no responsibility for the moan that escaped me once my body made contact with his. I watched the smile overtake his face and my own grew in reaction.

"What am I going to do with you Edward?"

He rubbed against me, forcing another moan from me, before answering.

"Oh, there are many things you could do Bella, the choice is all yours. I am, after all, at your disposal."

I swatted him, hitting his arm lightly, before replying.

"Please, you're my slave, sure. I'm the one that can't refrain from moaning just because we touch."

"I must admit that I am rather fond of that reaction."

"Now I would have never guessed that."

I rolled my eyes dramatically, ensuring that he saw my annoyance. He reacted instantly, spinning us around as I clung to him. I shrieked from the sudden movement and tried to pull myself tighter to him.

"You kids feeling better now?"

Emmett's voice echoed through the trees. I instinctively looked around for him but couldn't find his silhouette amongst the shrubbery.

"Emmett, come out and play."

I called out to him, taunting him to come out of hiding. His laugh was his only response. Edward bit his lip to keep from laughing as I climbed out of his embrace. I didn't have the ability to read Emmett's mind and find his location, Edward was a cheater. Instead I took a deep steadying breath, I could smell Emmett. I took another breath and could tell that he had entered the forest by the South; probably imagining that he could sneak up on us.

"I could just tell you where he is."

"Shush."

I swatted at Edward for disturbing my hunt, I heard a crunch of movement and zeroed in on the spot. I pounced on a squatting Emmett before he noticed I was there. He yelled out in surprise and I landed on him with an agility I didn't possess as a human.

"Gotcha."

"Oh man Bella, you totally ruined it, I was going to sneak up on Edward."

I had to hold my stomach to steady myself through the laughter.

"He can read minds Emmett, he knew exactly where you were, and you sort of called out to us first and gave away your position."

"Oh man, I'm gonna kill Jasper, he said I should yell out to distract you."

I had to lean against a tree to manage my laughter. Emmett's face gave over to his boyish grin. I surprised him by jumping into his arms for a hug. He was a wonderful brother. I loved the boyish charm he still managed to have, it was refreshing.

"You okay Bells? Do I need to break Jasper's arm?"

"No, you don't need to break Jasper's arm, I'm fine."

"Okay, then can I break one of his fingers? He has tons of those and I really need a reason to hurt him. Esme said if I break another one of his bones I won't be allowed to get the new Guitar Hero."

I shook my head at him, walking away from him as he spoke. I found my way back to Edward, my love was laughing joyously and I took a minute to enjoy the sight. He was absolutely breathtaking. I smiled to myself, glad that he could still take my breath away. No, I would never regret giving my life to him.

Before he could recover from his amusement I pounced on him. I covered his face in kisses, attacking him with my love for him. His laughter rang through the forest, spurring me on. I pinned his arms to his side and kissed him deeply.

"I win. That's two Cullen brothers down."

Edward spun us around so that I was now underneath him.

"I can't see how that was losing, but by your standards that would mean I win, now."

I reached my head up to kiss him.

"Come on lovebirds, it's time to go back to the house. We've got one of those family meetings and whatnot."

I felt a knot of fear settle in my stomach. I followed Emmett slowly, my fear of the upcoming conversation, slowing my steps. Edward kept my pace, only forcing me on when my steps slowed to a stop. Edward squeezed my hand in reassurance just before we walked into the dining room. We had no purpose for such a room so we used it for meetings instead.

We walked to our seats, my head rather low, to find the family waiting for us. The tension filled the air, suffocating me, with my trepidation. A hand reached out and landed on my arm, forcing me to look over and find its owner. Jasper was sitting next to me, his hand asking me to look at him. I took a deep breath before looking into his eyes.

"I called this meeting Bella. I wanted you to know that you are part of this family. You don't need to leave because of me. I am truly sorry for what I said. I was angry and had no right to lash out on you. I never would have said anything if I thought for a second that it would hurt you so much. I'm sorrier than I can say."

"It's okay Jasper, you didn't mean it. I'm not planning on leaving."

Edward made a sound as if to interrupt and I silenced him with my eyes.

"This is where I've always wanted to be, I will find a way to stay with the family, even if I have to work on my powers constantly to gain control."

"Bella, we will all help you with this."

Carlisle's voice held the hidden tone of command; the family would be required to help me. I appreciated that but I couldn't let anyone help me if they didn't want to. I turned to protest to find myself under Carlisle's gaze.

"No one is being forced to help you, we want to. You, however, feel that you are too much of a burden and could not ask for help. That will stop. You will come to me when you feel overwhelmed and you will talk to Edward about how you feel."

I slouched under the intensity of his gaze. I hated to upset Carlisle. Feeling like a scolded toddler I nodded my head in acquiescence.

"You're not in trouble Bella. You have handled this much better than we could have hoped for. You are too hard on yourself and expect too much too soon. It will come with practice and time. You have a support network here, use it."

I nodded again. I felt the welling of tears in my eyes and was embarrassed by it. I could no longer shed the tears, but the sign of my upset was still clear as day. Carlisle stood from his chair and walked over to me. He pulled me into a fatherly hug, whispering that it was okay as he did. When my father let me go, Edward pulled me into his lap.

I felt Jasper's hand on mine and accepted the calm he offered. I looked around the family, from the safety of Edward's embrace. Alice looked similarly distraught, Esme's smile was warm and welcoming, and Carlisle still had the commanding scowl on his handsome face. Emmett looked to be entertained with the salt and pepper shakers, whereas his wife looked uncomfortable about something.

"Bella, you will always be welcome here."

My eyes settled back on Rose, shocked to find her the one that spoke. I nodded, thankful for her statement and had to look away before the tears started again. I looked at Jasper to find him in a staring match with Rose. I reached out to him, interrupting their fight.

"It's okay."

"Bella, I was trying to help. I didn't think you'd want the ardeur to spread, so I tried to hold it back. It's too hard to do when the ardeur is active. But I can try to hold it back before it becomes active; perhaps help you get more control over it. I tried to help; I know I made things worse and I'm sorry."

"Thank you Jasper and it's okay. You didn't mean to hurt me and you know better than anyone how I felt. I'm sorry that things have been so hard for you. I wish I could say that things will get easier, but I will try even harder for your sake."

"Bells please don't. I'm okay, I've learned a lot from what happened. If I just let it out it's not painful, I waited too long. I won't be the reason you're miserable. You're too kind to everyone else; don't include me in that list."

"Wait, what do you mean it's painful? Is that why you were keening? Did it hurt you to be near us while the ardeur was active?"

"Yes, it was painful. But that was only because I held it in. Once I released it there was no pain."

"I've gotta say there's nothing painful about that many orgasms."

I turned to Emmett in confusion, when it clicked the horror on my face made it clear that I understood. I looked around the table, trying to ask if they all… Everyone nodded to my unasked question. I buried my head in my hands.

"Oh God."

"I'm sorry Bells; I was trying to stop it from reaching the family."

"Hey, why are you sorry, that was awesome, what's the big deal? So we all got to orgasm. It's a little freaky and all, but it's a cool superpower."

I heard the laughter from Carlisle before my eyes could make sense of it.

"I'm sorry Bella, but if you could see your face right now. No one is uncomfortable about it but you. Of all the powers to affect the whole family, this is relatively simple to handle."

"It's okay dear. We all understand that you didn't mean for it to happen. I would rather it affect us all than have Jasper in pain. Next time we shall all know how to handle it better."

Esme meant for her words to comfort and soothe me, but that my mother and father were discussing how I had inadvertently caused the entire family to orgasm multiple times, well, my mortification was only deeper.

Carlisle's laughter spread to Esme, as I'm sure my rapid unease was clear on my face. Alice and Emmett joined the laughter as well. Edward's laughter rang out from behind me; I assumed he was reading their thoughts. Only Rose and Jasper refrained from laughing. Jasper's mouth twitched with the effort of not laughing and I almost laughed despite myself.

"Jasper you don't have to hold it in to make it up to me, that is kind of what caused all this trouble."

Jasper's laughter rang out above the chorus of the family's joy. Rose's scowl was scathing as she looked around the family.

"It is not funny, stop laughing at her. You guys are only making it worse. And you Jasper, how could you laugh about this, after the way you made her feel."

Rose was standing by now, the laughter died abruptly, her anger scouring out the amusement in the room. Everyone turned to her in confusion. Emmett's face still showed laughter and she turned her stare to her husband, for laughing when she demanded that he stop.

"Oh Rosie calm down, we're not laughing at Bells, we think she's adorable when she's embarrassed that's all. She can't blush anymore but her nose still does that cute little scrunchy thing, look."

Emmett's hand emphatically reached forward to point out my scrunching nose.

"You still don't need to laugh. She was really hurt and you guys are just laughing at her."

"She's okay Rose; do you think I wouldn't know how she's feeling?"

"You've already proven how insensitive you can be Jasper, how was I to know that you were looking out for her this time?"

"Rose that's enough."

Carlisle stepped into the fight before it could get worse.

"Don't be mad at Rosie, Dad, she thinks she's the only one allowed to pick on Bella."

Rose sat down in a huff, angry with everyone, but especially Emmett.

"That's not true Emmett."

"Sure it is Rose; you think you're the only one allowed to pick on her."

She scowled at him but remained quiet, Emmett's point apparently hitting home.

"Anyone have anything else to add?"

We all shook are heads no.

"Okay, then meeting is adjourned. Bella if you need any of us, let us know."

I nodded again at my father as I moved to stand. A hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"I promise to make it up to you Bella. I would like to hunt with you; I should have worked harder on my bloodlust a long time ago. Maybe we can help each other."

I smiled widely at Jasper and answered.

"I'd love to. How about we start tomorrow?"

He agreed. Starting tomorrow things would be easier.


	25. Alice

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

With a lighter heart and even more thoughts on my mind, I followed Edward out of the dining room. The family splintered off into groups, our parents naturally retiring to spend time together. Whereas my brothers were making bets on a Guitar Hero marathon; apparently no one could solo a guitar like Jasper and Emmett felt he could change those odds. Rose used the opportunity to escape to her garage. This left…

"Please can I have her, Edward? You can go do guy things, but I miss my best friend."

Alice pulled out her infamous pout and Edward melted. He tried to pretend he had something to be doing, but he relinquished his hold on me the second her lip jutted out. I used my herculean will not to laugh at him. He turned to see my struggle and laughed outright at me. I opened my mouth to snark off at him and he used the opportunity to dip me for a kiss.

I placed my hands in his hair, pulling it naturally, and pulled him deeper into the kiss. He moaned in my mouth and I ate it with pleasure. I loved to make him react to me; he kept his actions controlled, to make him act outside of those boundaries pleased me greatly. It was just a little reassurance that he wanted me as I wanted him. His arms wrapped around me pulling me tighter into his body and I felt how happy he was to be there. It would be a crime not to react to him; therefore, I was forced to wiggle in his grasp. He growled at me and my body spilled for him.

"Oh do that later, I want her now."

"Can we watch?"

Emmett and Jasper were standing inside the living room, grinning broadly at us. Edward pulled away reluctantly and glared at his brothers.

"I don't share, ever."

The boys grumbled but turned back to their game. Alice and I rolled our eyes at them. Edward kissed my forehead before he left to hunt. I licked my lips as I watched the view.

"Are you coming Bella?"

Alice was standing on the stairs waiting for me. I had moved into the living room for a better view of my love. He turned back to me, from where he was, with a delicious grin on his face and blew a kiss toward me. I mimicked catching it and sighed when he disappeared into the trees.

"Sometimes you guys are disgusting."

"Shut up Jasper, it's cute. He was all proud because she was checking him out."

"Thanks Alice, but it's okay, I don't need you to defend me. Sometimes we are sickening but I don't care."

"That's because she can't keep her succubus hands to herself."

"Shut up Emmett."

We all spoke at once, causing us all to laugh. Alice ran up to me and grabbed my hand.

"Come on let's go do sister things."

"I thought you did girly things Alice?"

"Well Emmett she's my sister now, I can do sister things instead."

I rolled my eyes at her but followed the bouncing sprite to her room.

"What do you want to do first, sister of mine, we have clothes, nails, hair…? The options are wide open."

"This is your show Alice, whatever you want."

She grinned widely at me and I knew I was in trouble.

"I shouldn't have said that."

She agreed with me but disappeared into her closet. I was surprised to see an unusual amount of accessories in the pile. There were boas and beads instead of the typical Prada purse or diamond necklace.

"Alice what is all this for?"

"I figured since we're stuck at the house and nothing is going on, we could have our own party. I'll let you pick the theme but we have tons to choose from."

"Where did you get all this stuff?"

"Please Bella, I'm Alice."

"Right, I shouldn't have asked that. What do you mean by theme Alice? Like clowns or something?"

"No Bella, this is a reason to dress up for our husbands and make it innocent. They'll have no idea that we're really just getting all dolled up for them. So you see, you have to make it something sexy."

"Like nurses."

"That's brilliant, but that's Esme's thing, with dad being a doctor and all."

"Right then, any suggestions?"

"What would you want to dress up as for Edward? I have police uniforms, cheerleader, cowgirl; I even have saris if you want more exotic."

"How would wearing a sari and covering most of my body be sexy?"

"Oh Bella, you have so much to learn. We'll do that, plus we can have fun with the henna."

"Isn't that the ink that doesn't wash off for days?"

"Yes, they use henna for weddings or other major events. But we're going to blaspheme and use it to be a sexy surprise for our husbands."

I was still skeptical but I accepted that Alice knew her fashion; I figured bedroom fashions were still within her range.

"How can you still doubt me after all this time?"

"I'm sorry Alice; I just don't know where this is going. I find it hard to believe that this is dressing sexy."

"You more than any of us should get it Bella. It's sexy by only showing a little skin, it's the idea of what you're hiding that will drive Edward insane. You've always been good at showing nothing but making it sexy."

I would've blushed if I were able; instead I ducked my head, aware now of my nose scrunching, to hide it.

"I should've said I don't know how I will make this sexy."

Alice threw a stack of beads at me.

"How can you still doubt yourself? You're breathtaking, my husband even checked you out. You're just as beautiful and amazing as you were but now it's so much so that it's hard not to look. You call people to you Bella, you just radiate warmth."

"But I'm cold."

"Bella pay attention! You're beautiful, a seductress, and tonight you will seduce your husband, got it?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

She threw a bundle of clothes at me.

"Stop that!"

Alice pounced on top of me and we rolled around wrestling for the top.

"Hot Damn, Jasper you were right."

"EMMETT!"

Alice and I jumped apart both yelling at Emmett for barging in. What if we had been changing or worse yet, changed? He might have caught our whole scheme and that wasn't his right.

"Jasper Whitlock Cullen!"

Alice bellowed out of her tiny frame, Jasper entered the room with his head down.

"Did you, or did you not, monitor our emotions and then send Emmett in here under false pretenses?"

"I did."

I stuffed my fist in my mouth to keep from laughing, Jasper, the mighty, sounded meek when he answered his wife. Strangled laughs escaped my mouth and Jasper looked up to glare at me.

"Don't you dare look at her like this is her fault. Both of you boys are going to hunt with Edward."

"But Alice I'm not your husband you can't order me about."

"Really Emmett? Would you like me to tell Rose about this? I wonder what she would think of you barging into your sister's room, I wonder what you were expecting to find?"

Emmett's eyes opened wide, he took a moment to process his options before he saluted Alice and ran out of the room. Alice turned her stare on to Jasper and he left without another word.

"This is great, now he'll think I'm mad at him and he'll never expect his surprise. You had the best idea ever Bella, the boys won't know what hit them."

"What idea?"

"You're going to tell me to play with the henna, it's such a good idea, and I don't know why I didn't think of it."

"But I haven't decided yet."

"You decided on the course of actions that will lead you down the path to telling me to put the henna on differently. Unless you change your mind about the theme, everything is practically set in stone."

"What did I decide?"

"Put on the Sari first, perhaps that will inspire you."

She ran into her closet and came back with a sari, blouse, and skirt. The entire set was exotic; it was a rich black, something I wouldn't normally wear so much of. I fingered the silky material and was excited for this. I secretly feared that the ardeur would make our sex life stale. That never being able to control it would equal the same thing every time. So far my fears were baseless, but I feared them nevertheless. I took the fabric and moved to change in the bathroom.

"Take a luxurious bath Bella, then you can put on the clothes."

I went to argue but gave in, what could it hurt to luxuriate? I turned the knobs, careful of the pressure I exuded on them, and stripped while I flooded the tub. I added salts and bubble bath once it was halfway full. I brushed my hair while I waited, idling my fingers through the bubbles. I turned off the knob and climbed in.

I may be a vampire, immune to many pains, but I could still feel comfort. I wasn't hurt by the intense heat of the water, but I could still feel it. I relaxed into the water, melting, as if I too were just another bubble ready to pop.

It seemed like hours passed as I laid there. I could feel the tingle of salt on my body, could hear the crack of the salt splitting and opening to more water. I could hear Alice's feet pattering around her room, obviously preparing for Jasper. I allowed my thoughts to focus on Edward. What could I do to prepare myself for him, to try and make the ardeur new and exciting all the time?

When the thought hit me I jumped to a stand in the tub. It was a reflexive action, the desire to tell someone my glorious idea. I grabbed a towel and ran to my sister.

"I got it!"

"It's a wonderful idea and it's going to drive Edward wild. I'll help you mix things up."

I sighed with relief. It felt like a great unknown weight had lifted from my shoulders. I could not bear to lose Edward for any reason. The desire to please him was much greater than my desire to be pleased by him. I knew just what to do to keep things interesting.

"You know you don't have to do anything to keep him interested, right Bella?"

I ducked my head. It wasn't that I thought Edward was bored, or that he didn't want me. It was more that I was concerned that too much of the same would lead him to tire of me.

"I just think that if we always do the same things, he'll get tired of it, or me. I'm not sure what I'm doing, I just do what feels good. Sometimes he reacts and other times he doesn't."

"Oh Bella, I forget that you're so new to this. It's so nice to have you on the other side, to be able to talk to you about this. You know you can come to me with your questions, I'll help anyway I can."

I ran up to hug her.

"Please get dressed before another male walks in and we never live this moment down."

I laughed with her but dressed as ordered. I ran my fingers over the fabric as I added every piece. It was luxurious. I never understood the desire of them, but I was starting to see the beauty in it. When I was fully dressed I waited for Alice. I used the free time to think of future surprises for Edward. It seemed I would have a great many surprises in store for him

Alice had decluttered her room, using curtains and silk fabrics to drape over every portion of her room. Altogether the room looked like an exotic retreat; I was envious of her skill. I walked around her room idling my fingers over the clothes. Alice didn't bathe as I had, she took a quick shower. I am beginning to think that little Mrs. Future is impatient. She dressed in a sari similar to mine but much more colorful. Beautiful flowers exploded with color; drawing the eye to the places they marked her. It wasn't a conventional form of beauty or sexuality, but looking at Alice I understood what she meant.

Her sari drew my eyes to trace her curves by the flowers not lining them. The flowers were in places like her shoulder or hip, and I imagined Jasper would be just as intrigued by those locations as he would be by her breasts. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, the boys would freak out if they knew what I was thinking.

"Don't worry Bella; I think you're hot too."

We burst into laughter together. Alice bounced over to me to fix my hair. She left it down in long ringlets, which I felt would drive Edward crazy. She adorned my neck and ears with jewelry, added bangles to my arm and moved back to look.

"We just need the henna."

I looked down at myself startled by the transformation. I jiggled my wrists and listened to the clang of the bracelets. I looked up to see her smiling widely.

"He's going to love the sound those make when you're intimate."

My gut reaction was to stop that train of thought but instead, my traitorous mouth ousted my thoughts.

"Really?"

Alice smiled wider still.

"If it rings in the air just from you moving your arm, imagine the ringing it will make as you bond."

I smiled in return.

"Have I told you lately that I love the way you think?"

She ran to the bathroom to get the henna and laid a carpet over the floor to protect it from the dye.

"Where do you want this put Bella?"

My eyes raked over her form and I knew before I could voice it exactly where I wanted the henna.

"I want one of my shoulders, under the opposite breast, my hip, and the inside of my thighs."

"Making a trail for him?"

I giggled nervously as I waited for her to mark me. She deliberated for a while before she decided to go traditional.

"I think if I make the design too intricate, Edward would want to explore the design, not the trail. I'm going to keep them simple so that the focus is on where you're marked."

I nodded in agreement.

It was easy to move the sari to be marked, but I found myself blushing internally when I had to spread my thighs.

"Relax Bella, you're gorgeous and all but I'm not going to have my wicked way with you just because your legs are spread."

"I know that, it's just that hardly anyone has been in that position and I'm still getting use to it, I guess."

"This may sound strange, but think of Edward instead. Don't go so overboard that you're ready to have at him, just think pleasantly dirty thoughts that will take you away from your discomfort."

I shifted, scooting around because I didn't know what else to do. Alice threatened to smack me if I moved again so I stayed as still as stone. I tried to focus on Edward, on his beautiful features, the lines of his abdomen, the thickness of his penis. I went rapidly from uncomfortable to prepared for him. If only he were the one between my legs.

The soft brush of the henna being applied to my skin reminded me of the cool of his tongue. I flamed for him, needed to have him inside me. With the next brush against my skin, my hips jutted out reflexively to greet it.

"Okay, let's try a different tactic, before Edward kills me. Are you excited to show him all this?"

"Yes, this was certainly what I was going for in unexpected. I like that it's the first surprise and he can unwrap me in layers. That there are little surprises for his eyes to find."

My breath fanned out in a sigh. I was sincerely looking forward to his reaction.

"Do you think it will be easier on you because you both hunted today?"

"I certainly hope so. I hate not being able to control myself. Sometimes I want more, but the need to finish overcomes everything else. I just don't want it to always be the same way. I don't want Edward to tire of me, or to feel obligated to have sex with me."

"What are you talking about, obligated? Please, a man does not do something that many times out of obligation. Have you heard the way he screams your name. He was a saint before you came here, hardly even touched himself, let alone anyone else. You think he touches you out of obligation?"

I heard the anger in her tone, I didn't want to upset her, but I couldn't help my fears. Unlike other wives, my husband was required to sleep with me. It wasn't a case of desire but need. Though some could say it was similar, the obligation could bread contempt, or was that familiarity?

"Please don't be mad at me Alice. I want to be everything to him, for him. I hate that I am taking more than I am giving him. If I could control the ardeur, I would spend hours just pleasing him. But I don't have that luxury and it seems that I rarely get to touch him. Yes we have sex but it's a race to the end, the ardeur always wins. I want it to be about us, not about the ardeur."

"Bella I'm not mad at you. I'm frustrated that you still don't see yourself clearly. I'm frustrated that I can't do more for you in this. I'm sorry that I can't. I can tell you that Edward will never tire of you, even if you do things the same way every day, you're still more of a surprise than anyone else alive. He doesn't know what you will do or say until you do it. He loves you so completely; you don't have to fear him leaving anymore. We have all learned that lesson."

"I just want it to be us, that's all."

"Have you ever wondered if maybe this was meant to happen? Maybe you and Edward needed this to progress, or maybe you needed to understand that you have sex appeal."

"You're saying the universe wanted me to know I'm sexy?"

We both broke into hysterical laughter.

"Seriously Bella, you just needed to know how wonderful you are."

I hid my face, hoping to hide the signs of embarrassment.

"Be careful moving it takes hours for this stuff to set. I cheated and went with a quick dry ink but it'll still take a couple of hours."

"You mean I have to lay here with my legs spread?"

I was mortified, waiting for her answer.

"Well, yes actually. I'm going to go prep your room, similar to mine, and then you can put the henna on me."

What else could I do? I nodded, still showing the world my panties. Fortunately, I didn't have to take them off to do my thighs. The edge of the henna design was just centimeters from my underwear. I smiled to myself thinking how Edward would respond. It seemed like I stayed that way for eternity, waiting for Alice to come back. I heard a knock on the door and immediately wanted to close my legs.

"Who is it?"

"Rose, can I come in?"

I wanted to say no, tell her to go away. But I knew Rose well enough to know that would offend her and we'd be fighting for weeks. With a great big sigh I allowed her entrance.

"Come in Rose."

I closed my eyes, preparing for the humiliation as I listened intently to the sound of the door opening.

"Oh my, I didn't need you to be that inviting Bella."

I bit my tongue to stop my retort. It was hard not to ask what she wanted. An awkward silence remained, partly because I refused to be baited, and secondly because I had yet to close my legs.

"Is that ink on your thighs?"

"Yes Rose, its henna. I'm currently letting it dry."

"Oh, I see that. Why do you have henna on you?"

"It's a surprise for Edward. Alice and I were bored and we wanted to do something nice for our husbands."

"No one offered to have me join you, what about my husband?"

I bit my lip harder.

"It was sort of a bonding thing between us, Alice and I haven't really spent a lot of time together recently."

"Well, if I'm not invited that's fine, but I'm your sister too. Next time you can think of all your sisters before you talk about bonding."

Rose stormed out of the room, passing an apologetic Alice on her way out.

"Don't even start Alice."

Alice had been about to apologize but was shut off before she got the opportunity. Rose left quickly, leaving an upset Alice in her wake.

"I just really missed you and I always had to fight her to get her to help with the makeovers before. I thought I'd let her work on her cars instead."

Alice's shoulders slumped, I wanted to get up and hug her but instead I continued flashing her.

"We'll make it up to her Alice, I promise."

She thought for a second before smiling beautifully at me.

"Try touching the ink, if it rubs off stay where you are."

I did as I was told, the ink smudging slightly on my finger, I groaned in annoyance.

"It's almost dry; it's six hours if you use the traditional stuff."

"What do the women do for six hours?"

"Bells, they put it on their hands and feet and only use it for things like weddings."

"Oh, well then..."

I would've been blushing had I the blood to pump to my cheeks. Instead I looked down getting an eyeful of my legs.

"Do you think you can draw on me from your position?"

"Help me sit up; I'll just sit with my legs open."

"Good that way I can be dry in time."

Alice gripped my hands and helped me move to a sitting position. She sat in front of me, undoing her button and flashing her breasts.

"Alice where did you want me to do this? And what design did you want?"

"You're only going to do my breasts, I want flowers, cover them completely."

"Won't that defeat the purpose to hide them behind henna?"

"I want to drive Jasper crazy, not being able to see my flesh will do that."

"You're bad Alice."

She smiled widely at me and sat so that I could draw on her. At first I was embarrassed to draw on her chest. After each pass of the ink across her skin, I became less uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because I was covering her and that eased my discomfort.

"Edward is coming home in an hour. He's fed up with the boys."

I unconsciously spread my legs further apart as I imagined him finding all his surprises.

"He's going to love it Bella."

I smiled, still a little unsure and finished the design on her chest. You could tell by the shape that her breasts were underneath, but almost every inch of her flesh was covered in ink. I agreed that this was going to drive Jasper wild.

"When will Jasper and Emmett be home?"

"They'll be out for most of the night, they started another competition. They won't be home until Emmett is satisfied. Plus, Jasper thinks I'm mad at him."

I laughed with her. Alice moved to lie on her back as she waited for her henna to dry.

"You can move your legs now, Bella. Edward will be home soon, why don't you go check out the room and finish getting it ready."

"Thank you Alice, for everything. I'd hug you but I don't want to ruin your henna."

"I'm here whenever you need me Bella, have fun with Edward."

I stood, readjusting my clothing so that it covered most of my flesh and rushed to my room. I took in a deep breath before I opened the door. The room took my breath away. The windows were open, causing a breeze to move through the room. The rich silks draped around the room swayed making the room feel more exotic.

I sat on the bed, anticipating Edward's return. I readjusted my sari multiple times, my nerves causing me to fidget. I heard the downstairs open and I drew in a deep breath.

"Bella?"

Edward called from the downstairs, his voice echoing into my core. I stood and walked to the door, hoping to surprise him all at once. I heard his feet on the stairs and felt myself spilling. My anticipation was ripening my body. My thoughts circled what I planned to do to him. He was just outside the door when I opened it.

Edward stood shell shocked just within the doorway. His hand was resting on the knob as he grappled with confusion. He looked me over, his eyes darkening with lust. He glanced up quickly, took in the room within seconds, and returned his eyes to me. His gaze was burning through me, causing venom to spread throughout my body. I moved forward and brushed my body gently against his.

"I wanted to surprise you."

"You were certainly successful. May I ask what inspired this?"

"Alice and I were bored and I didn't understand how a sari could be sexy. What do you think?"

Edward took in a big gulp of air as his eyes took in my form again.

"I think anything on you is sexy, but I must say that I am a fan of this as well."

"And what will you think of this when it's off me?"

I smiled coyly spinning slowly so that he could see me from every angle. His hands reached out to touch me and I stepped away.

"Now be patient, I spent a lot of time preparing for you."

"Bella you don't have to prepare anything for me, just being near you is enough."

I stepped back within his reach. I moved my hands to hold his face and trapped his gaze with my own.

"I needed you to know how much you mean to me, how much I desire you. But I wanted to thank you for the way that you have cared for me. I know that the ardeur has drained you and I wanted to at least plan for the next time. I even have more surprises for you to find when we are overwhelmed by the ardeur."

Edward stepped forward, closing the distance between us, and smashing my breasts against his chest. He dipped me back and captured my lips with his. The kiss was searing, sending flames of desire through my bones. I moaned into the kiss and he smiled against my lips. He released my lips to kiss my neck and I took the chance to speak.

"I don't know how long I'll stay lucid but I want to touch you first."

"Why Bella? I need to touch you, to taste every inch of your skin."

"I feel like we have been tailoring to my needs and truly I miss the taste of you."

Edward moaned, his lips pressed into my neck. He turned his head to move and found his first surprise.

"What's this?"

His fingers danced lightly over the henna design and goose bumps erupted over my skin.

"Surprise."

Edward looked up at me from under his eyelashes.

"What other surprises might I find?"

"Don't try and dazzle me Edward, you'll find them on your own. You're not the only one that can give surprises."

He grinned crookedly at me before he placed his lips over the henna on my shoulder. He ran his fingers over my other shoulder, where my sari was tied. His lips danced over my skin and he blew his breath across it. I trembled with my need to get closer to him, to have his body on mine, his mouth on my skin. He continued to toy with me, alternating between kisses and cool breaths to tempt me into telling my secrets.

"Edward."

I had meant to scold him but his name was a deep moan. He hardened against me upon hearing his name and I found that I didn't want to scold him after all.

"Yes?"

"Oh Edward." I took a deep breath. "You could focus on finding your surprises instead of trying to get me to tell you."

He smiled my favorite smile and smothered my breast with his lips. I rocked my body into his. I suddenly felt overwhelmed with clothes, I needed out of all these layers. I worked at the tie at my shoulder and Edward captured my hands before I could undo it.

"I believe it is my right to undress you."

"Yes, but I believe that your way of undressing me is hard on my wardrobe."

"I'll be gentle, let me worship you as long as I can. I have been an animal lately, devouring you. You are an angel Bella, completely divine, and you should be worshiped."

"I enjoy being devoured by you. I have been doing my own devouring as well."

He captured my lips; this kiss was lingering and sweet. He was slowing us down, teasing me, but if it pleased him I could handle it.

"But I want to worship you Edward."

I was whining but I truly missed the taste of him. I missed the taste of his skin. I missed the texture of his penis in my mouth, or the sweetness of his thighs. I even missed the taste of his venom spurting out of him. I should be embarrassed by my desires, but marriage was teaching me that it was all right to have such desires.

Edward moved us backwards, heading towards the bed. The room swayed to its own pulse and I imagined it would match the pulse of our thrusts. My breath came out in deep pants, the anticipation tensing my muscles and winding me tightly. Just one touch and I might spring undone. My lover placed me on the bed gently. I moaned my protest but his fingers covered my lips, silencing me.

"I may not have all night but I have this moment. I'm going to worship you for as long as I can. When the ardeur takes us over we cannot control ourselves, let me have this now. I feel as if I have been a common knave, taking you as roughly and as quickly as I could. I need you to know how much I love you, desire you, and worship you."

I wanted to win this, to have my time to do with him as I wished, but I understood what he wanted. I had done this because of my fears of how I had been treating him. My fears of what the ardeur would do to us. That he had his own fears was not very surprising but I had neglected to consider that he would have them. I hadn't prepared for this but I could give him what he needed to reassure himself, to help us.

"Whatever you desire Edward. But please understand that I have loved every intimate moment with you. I want you to possess me and take me as you please. I am yours to command."

"Bella you are more than just my sex slave, you are my everything. I should treat you as such."

"Edward stop it. You're beating yourself up for giving me what I asked for, what I needed. There are many ways to make love to me and you have my permission to do them all."

He hovered above me, caught in the limbo of standing and laying. He froze with my comment, the thoughts on his mind racing past his eyes. He leaned down, pressing his full weight against my body. He kissed up my neck before speaking into my ear.

"And if I told you what a knave I truly am, that I desired to take you in every corner of this room? That I want to make you scream my name, that I enjoy the others knowing what we're doing? Would you still want me then Bella?"

His breath was coming fast against me but I found myself breathing just as irregularly.

"Yes, in fact I'd want you more. Every touch makes me crave more; I could never have enough of you. I don't always want romance, or slow. Sometimes I want you to just bend me over and have me. Does that make me less of a woman? I'm not supposed to want it this much, or in those ways, but I do Edward."

He ran his hands over my breasts, gently. I pushed my body upwards, smashing my breasts into his palms. He nipped my neck with his teeth, not hard enough to pierce but enough to warn.

"You really like it rough?"

"Yes, how many times do I have to answer that?"

"Good."

He bit down on my neck and I moaned loudly. I could feel the vibration of it shaking my chest. He picked me up from the bed and carried me over one corner of the room.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to take you in every corner of this room, you gave me permission."

I shook and trembled with the ardeur. I could feel the need growing in me. I wanted to hold it back for as long as I could. I wanted to remember his reaction to my surprises. Edward untied my sari, dropping it so that it pooled at his feet. He held me in his arms, forcing my legs to wrap around him so that I was straddling him.

His gaze caught the trail and he smiled predatorily. His tongue traced the henna with expert finesse. He ran his hands over my curves, finding them hidden under my blouse and skirt. I liked the feel of the silk sliding over my skin and the mix of his mouth's ministrations and the fabric's softness kept me rather vocal.

I held onto him tightly, my hands clenched around his neck in a vice grip. I was focusing entirely on staying lucid, staying with Edward. If he didn't move faster I was going to lose myself. I attempted to tell him to move on but only a series of moans escaped my mouth. I took in deep pants of air to calm myself even as my core spilled for him.

"Edward please hurry, I can only hold it back for so long."

He moved as if to argue but conceded to my point. He removed my blouse quickly, but without tearing it. He removed my skirt just as quickly. I knew he was using vampire speed and I was once again grateful for my change. That I was his equal, which meant I could share in everything he did.

He slipped from his clothes with his usual grace and speed. I stood, waiting for his body to fill mine. My nakedness allowed him a clear view of the trail marked for him. His eyes roamed from my neck, down my breasts, to the swell of my hips, when he saw my thighs he moaned.

"You are going to be the death of me."

"Do you not like it?"

"Bella, how could I not like it? Spread your legs for me, I want to see it clearly."

I smiled at him as I spread my legs. I leaned back into the wall to brace myself for my new position, the wall allowed me to spread my legs further. He dropped to his knees in front of me and looked up at my body from where he kneeled.

"You are incredible."

I should have been embarrassed, blushing internally, trying to hide my body. But the more that Edward saw, the more of me he touched, the less I felt the need to hide. I felt emboldened by his gaze. I didn't just want him to touch me but to see me. I liked the feel of his gaze across my naked flesh.

I smiled at him, telling him clearly to have at it. He took another long look before his lips covered the henna across my thighs. I moaned the instant he touched me. I fought gallantly to remain in control, but the second his tongue touched my center I was done for.

The ardeur overtook me easily. I felt the swell of need, dropping me to my knees, before Edward caught me. He kneeled below me and his hands supported my body weight. He had caught me so that I was still upright but kneeling downwards. I understood now that the ardeur would pass to him just as quickly but the only change in him was how quickly he was licking up my juices.

The ardeur is like instant foreplay, preparing me for the sex that it needs in order to feed. Instead of having to prepare me Edward now had me dripping and ready. He had yet to move from his position, his fingers now joined with his lips. I rocked my hips against him, simulating the sex that I now needed.

I was pleading, a steam of moans and begging escaping my lips. He only worked me harder. He had moved my knees to his shoulders so that he could finger me, as well as roam my curves. One of his hands cupped my ass, while the other was searching deep inside of me to find my spot. I groaned in annoyance and he bit my clit.

I exploded around him, unaware of whether I was still upright. It wasn't as intense as a normal orgasm with the ardeur but still much grander than an orgasm without the ardeur. Before I came completely back to my limbs he was pushing inside of me. I loved the feel of expanding for him. I loved the connection, this was home.

He pushed me back into the wall, thrusting into me with great speed. He was more determined than usual and I thought that he might be trying to fight the ardeur. I had no such control. I gave in to the ardeur allowing it to motivate my actions. I found myself pulling his hair and kneading his skin. He moaned with every tug or pinch. He brought me close to the edge and stopped abruptly.

"What?"

My voice was loud and angered, but I wasn't exactly myself.

"That was only one corner."

It took me a minute to think what that meant.

"What?"

"I have to take you in all the corners."

I wondered how he knew that, how he could remember that, or control himself enough to do it. He moved me to another corner and slammed into me with more force. I imagined if we continued in this fashion I wouldn't make it to the fourth corner.

My breasts bounced between us, with his every thrust. He alternated between biting at my chest and licking at my neck. I purred with every lick and moaned with every bite. I wanted more, always more; the harder he pushed me the more I enjoyed it. He gripped my ass and used his hold on me to have me ride him. The angle was magnificent and I moaned my approval to him.

With my every thrust I moved faster, needing to get to the end. I rode him so quickly that we feel backwards due to the force. When his back hit the floor it forced him deeper into me. I was sure that it would have made a lot of noise but my moans overshadowed any clash. I was close to another orgasm before he spun us so that he was on top.

He pulled out and I growled. I sounded every bit the predator I now was. He had taken away what I needed most and he would pay for that. I scratched his chest, my nails marking a trail down his torso. He growled back and bit the crevice between my neck and shoulder. My body stilled, giving him full permission to continue.

He walked away from me, to another blasted corner. I scowled; my anger rumbling through my body. He motioned for me to come to him. I struggled to stand, but my focus was on him. I found myself crawling to him. I moved on all fours to get to him, with each crawl his eyes grew darker and his breaths more obvious. When I got within reach of his hands he moved behind me and thrust in.

I wanted control but his hold on me was absolute. I struggled to think of revenge but the feel of his cock rubbing everywhere inside of me made it impossible to think. The ardeur clouded my thoughts, only my need for more, for Edward, made it through. It was like a dark cloud of lust.

He pulled out to push back in and I crawled away. It wasn't that I didn't want it, but I didn't want to be stopped again. My brain had realized that the last corner meant I could finish, therefore getting to that corner became a priority. I crawled to that last corner like a dying woman. I needed to orgasm and I needed it soon.

I laid down the second I made it there, grateful to be nearer to the edge. Edward was on me within seconds. He turned me over so that I was on my back and entered me in one motion. He folded my legs Indian style in front of his chest. With every thrust my legs pushed against his chest, but the elevation of my legs changed the angle of penetration. I liked this position and hoped that I would remember that after this.

He pounded into my flesh with force and I met every thrust with my own. My frustration was such that I was near violence with need. He leaned down and bit my nipple and I finally exploded. I soared with my orgasms, knowing that I would have many, and riding each one to its end. Knowing that Edward was along for the journey helped me focus on his continued thrusts, on his spilling venom.

We came back as one. I opened my eyes to find them trapped in his gaze. His eyes were still dark with desire and my nipples tightened once more.

"You weren't lying; you would really let me have you however I wanted?"

"I cannot think of a way that you would want me that I would say no to, so yes."

He captured me in another soul searing kiss. It took me several minutes to recover from it and breathe regularly again.

"Why did you make me wait to do all the corners?"

"I think it was what I was thinking when the ardeur hit me. All I could think was that I had to have you in every corner. No other thoughts were clear."

I nodded, understanding what he meant.

He removed himself from me, yet stayed where he was. He used his hands to spread my legs further.

"I hate to see your flesh covered, yet I really love this."

His fingers traced the designs on my thigh and I sighed. I moved my hands to trace the nail marks on his chest and my bracelets clanged. He looked up to me and smiled.

"I didn't understand why I kept hearing that sound. My thoughts were a haze of desire. We'll certainly have to try that again, when other surprises aren't vying for my attention."

I was disappointed that he hadn't enjoyed my bracelets, but agreed to try again. Next time I had a better plan for getting his attention, one he couldn't ignore. He leaned down and kissed my thighs softly, his lips lingering on my skin.

"I hate to ask this, but please cover up before I take you again."

"Do you think it would hurt us to go again?"

"We probably should abstain, we just fed the ardeur, however we cannot have sex without it rising. We would likely tire ourselves and end up in trouble. Please cover yourself before all my self control leaves."

I stood reluctantly, wishing, not for the first time, that I had control over the ardeur. I wanted to do so many things to him that my thoughts swirled around the possibilities. I looked forward to the day when I could make love to him because I wanted to, not just because I needed it. Although it would never be a chore, I wanted him to know just how much I wanted him. I would take him over and over, until days faded away and his only memories were of my naked body over his.


	26. Respite

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I was high on hope. My fears settled into that hidden spot of my soul where I kept unpleasant things. My secret truths and weaknesses all wrapped into a neat bundle and placed under the rug. I didn't have the strength today to deal with it all. Instead, I took another healing breath. Each inhale of my lungs brought more of Edward inside of me and I was determined to keep him there.

We were cuddled into each other, time passed but only outside of our world. For today I wanted only this. I needed healing. The constant pounding of crisis, powers, and threats had sundered a path of devastation to my very being. I felt tired and desperate for hope. Perhaps it was that there was yet another problem to deal with, that I was at the beginning of the next issue not the end, but for the moment I just needed to breathe.

Breathing was not necessary for my health, for my body to function, but it eased those hidden pains and soothed me into peace. I could not fix everything in one day, even God had seven. Instead I could only breathe and take what would come, one thing at a time. What would come? Well, my silent heart knew all too well how hard things were going to be. But I had all I ever needed in this moment.

Many people talk of love and devotion, but my words were actions. I could do nothing more than give Edward everything that I am. To give him less would speak volumes but to give all said more. For eternity I could show him the truth of my devotion, that he was more than just my husband or lover, he was my soul.

His fingers ran the length of my back; his voice whispered soothing words into my ear. He was wearing nothing that I could cling to. But my hands held on to his flesh as if his skin kept me here on earth. My body trembled with the sob that couldn't escape. Edward pulled me closer, his naked flesh against mine.

I took another moment to breathe, reminding myself that in this moment I was okay. I had a moment of peace, of settling the onslaught of emotion, before a dark thought interrupted my calm. I hadn't asked Edward what he wanted, I was just taking this moment for myself, but I could never fully be happy without his happiness.

"Are you okay with this, did you want to do something else?"

I maneuvered myself to look at him as I waited for his answer. He wrapped his arms around me completely and pulled me into his chest.

"Love, this is all I'll ever want or need."

I rejoiced deep into my soul. This was our moment and I let it be.

Time was meaningless, I was breathing.

A knock violently interrupted our moment. I had no sense of time, except that it had gotten darker. It had been light constantly when we first arrived in Alaska, but now darkness seemed to creep in a little more every day. I was still looking forward to seeing the Aurora, but I knew that would come with time.

The knock grew louder, more impatient, and I grumbled at the intruder. Edward's chuckles vibrated through my body and I found myself smiling. I hated to move, to leave this safety and security. I didn't have Edward's ability to know who was on the other side, but I knew that whoever it was, I probably should answer.

"What?"

I sounded petulant, but at least I managed to answer.

"Bella, we had plans to go hunting together, we should go now. If we wait much longer the animals won't be able to see and that won't be fun."

I grumbled again. Unfortunately dusk was the hardest time on most animals, the light being too difficult for most of them to see. Just after dusk and right before were the best times for hunting. It was just one of the many things I knew now. A thought slammed into me, Edward wasn't coming? I pulled myself into him, gripping him with much more force than necessary.

"You'll be fine without me love. It's just one little hunting trip and I'll be waiting to hear about your success when you get back."

He kissed my head but it failed to calm me. I couldn't handle another moment without him. I had spent the day clinging to be closer to him. I had tried to pull him further into me, or to hide myself into the recesses of him. I hadn't the desire to deal with the demands of others, to face disappointing them, or doing some other wrong. I had managed to dig myself into a pattern of disappointment and unknown wrongs. I didn't want to face a disappointed world.

Edward ran his fingers down my back, awakening my nerves to his soft touch. My body felt in limbo as I awaited his next caress. I was made and molded for him and in this moment my body understood that it was completely dependent upon my husband's whims. Should he acquiesce to my body or torture me with want? It was a fence my dear husband sat upon often. I knew by the mischievous smile that grew crooked and large upon his face which direction his touch would go.

"I will always aim to give you your every desire, your every need, but my dearest you do not need this now."

I startled upright, ready and able to proclaim my indignation at such a statement, that I should not need his body or touch. It was a ludicrous idea to believe that I should ever not need him.

He ran his hand across my cheek to still my protest and I shuddered with both desire and love. His love filled me like a bountiful glass, sometimes spilling over, and requiring me to get another pour of him. His gentle fingers cupped my cheek then ran down the soft curve of my face to follow the path of my neck.

Edward moved with the swiftness of a man on the hunt and captured the crevice of my collarbone into his mouth. I moaned with ecstasy and all protest emptied from my mind. I was a merely a chalice for him, to fill with what he desired. Should my love want to fill me with love, I would take every drop and cherish it. Should my lover want to fill me with his seed, I would only ask for more. I was his for the taking.

His gentle hands cupped my shoulders and moved slowly, tantalizingly down my body, he stilled to capture my breasts.

"I would love to have you again and again in this manner, taking you as my own for as long as you let me. But I held you today as you cried, however tearless, and I promised myself and God that I would do everything to keep you from crying again. I cannot allow you to stay and hide away as the demons that chase your thoughts grow and overwhelm you. You must face this Bella, you must find a way to face the dark or the dark will find a way to swallow you whole. I will be here for you, I will do 

everything I can, but I believe that what you need is to go with our brother and learn what it is you need to do to fight this. I will have you be happy and whole."

My heart has known so many shades of heartache and loss and in this moment I understood a truth that my mind had yet to acknowledge, _**happiness can only fill you as deeply as sorrow as carved you**_. I could cling to the old truths that formed me, that kept me safe from the dark and the horrors that lurked there. Or I could show myself, my husband, my family, that I was a woman now and could stand strong. I didn't expect to remain upright all the time, but the least I could do for myself, for my Edward was fight.

I had given into a selfish desire to hideaway from the fears of facing reality. I had feared the confrontations waiting just outside my door and the inability to know or control just when or how the beast of the ardeur would rise. Jasper had been willing to stand and fight his own demons, while I wallowed like a child. It was unlike me to give into my fears, to close my eyes to the monsters and cling to that which I knew to be true. This was what Edward had always feared for me that I wouldn't be able to handle the world of monsters.

An ancient and trusted fear of mine crept up my spine, rekindling old worries as it grew. What had Edward thought of me during all this, did he find me weak, or regret his choice? My God, I had allowed myself to give in when I knew what Edward might do if I were ever to give in. With deep trepidation I lifted my lids to gaze into Edwards. I needed reassurance that he didn't regret changing me that he wasn't going to leave me for being weak. His eyes were flaming with an emotion I couldn't quite read, but his entire body called me forward.

"I will never leave you, I will never doubt you, and I will never think that you are weak. You are the strongest most brilliant light in my sky and I could never think otherwise."

I sighed deeply my heart patching the holes I had created with my fears. What was I doing? I knew what needed to be done. I knew what I was afraid of. So what was I waiting for? I pushed my body into his and took his lips as my own. The kiss was searing heat into my soul and exactly the remedy I needed. I am strong, I can do this. I repeated this to myself as I pulled my body away from his.

Edward was right, as usual. I needed to get up and fight that which made me tremble. I couldn't hide in the glories of his flesh and wish that the morning would make the fight easier. My desire to hide in the passion that Edward gave me was part of my inability to control the ardeur. I wanted him, desperately; my body knew what pleasures he would give me should I stay.

With more effort of will than it should take a woman to turn from her husband, I pulled my body away. I didn't move from him with distaste or refusal, but with the promise that I would rather be covered in him. My thoughts flew with the images of his flesh surrounding mine, alighting all the fires of my passion for him. I closed my eyes and moaned unwillingly.

"It is so difficult to leave when I know what is waiting for me here, what we could do instead of what I will be doing. I'm not sure that I am strong enough to leave you, naked and willing as you are."

My eyes were still closed battling with the onslaught of a naked and gloriously erect Edward. I bit my lip as my concentration focused more on the picture of my Greek god than on resisting him.

"Oh my dearest Bella, you still haven't learned, I am always ready and willing for whatever you desire. I am just as much yours as you are mine, however you want me you shall have it."

I moaned, how could I resist such a temptation as a writhing sex god under me? Oh the things I could do to him. Just as I was ready to move his body into the earth with my lust he spoke again.

"But I will be just as ready and willing when you return, you need your strength and we both know that you need to do this. If I thought that I could help you more here then I would, but I am not making things better, only giving you a brief respite. Go my love, but go with the knowledge that you have nothing to fear from me, I am yours now as I will always be, forever."

If only my eyes could cry the tears of joy his words brought me, but I could only open my eyes to him and show him exactly how his words had shaped me. He smiled gently and kissed me just as softly. I stood from the bed, allowing the bed sheet to fall from my body as I stood before him.

"You made a promise to be here ready and willing when I return and I expect you to uphold that promise."

Edward's eyes, dark with lust, he nodded his consent. I smiled darkly, the beauty of his naked form burned into the lids of my eyes. Before I had met Edward the world was dull, but just one look at him had reshaped the world. Now that I had seen the sharp lines of his body, the fine hairs that curled into a glorious mane above the very essence of his masculinity, I licked my lips. The world was in sharp contrast to his glories and I found myself seeing the lines of his body in the contrasts of the mountains around me.

The horizon went on infinitely, the clouds just barely touching it, the softest caress. The land around me was lush and wild. Everything called his name to me, the wind speaking his name as softly as I moaned it. Edward was everywhere and everything to me. That finally gave me the strength to dress and face what was just outside that door. For the first time since Edward had turned his topaz eyes to me, I finally felt secure, he was mine and nothing was going to change that. Time to make him proud...

* * *

A short aside, this was short but it was necessary. I tried to jump into the next scene, which will be about Emmett, but it won't seem so at first. There will be major character development and exploration coming but Bella needed some fears eased first, more important fears involving her Edward. This is why no matter what I did I could not write anything other than this short respite. The bolded and italicized line "happiness can only fill you as deeply as sorrow has carved you" is from another series by Karen Marie Moning. It spoke to me so much that it found its way into my story. I apologize for the wait. - Say


	27. Emmett

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything thus related to it. I do not own the Anita Blakeverse or plan on pretending that I do.

Edited by CajunMomma

* * *

I opened the door to find Jasper perched against the jam. He was tapping his toe impatiently and I was reminded of Alice. Jasper had the tendency to seem calm through everything. The only thing that ruffled his feathers involved Alice. He smirked at me, aware of my train of thought and shrugged. He turned away and motioned for me to follow.

We managed to make it to the living room before we ran into our siblings. It seemed that Alice and Rosalie had turned the living room into a palace of pink. I looked on with horror and envy. Alice was painting Rosalie's nails and giggling between whispers. I felt betrayed, as if my friendship didn't warrant such attention.

Alice looked up alarmed to find Jasper and I looking on. I was aware that Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice were watching me but I was unable to compose my face quickly enough. Rather than face my sisters I turned away and walked out the door. It was wrong of me to feel envious, had I not done the same thing to Rosalie? Did I expect Alice to spend all her time with me?

I could be honest enough with myself to realize that I wasn't jealous of the event only the rapport between them. I was her best friend, we shared that. It seemed petty and I hated myself for it. Jasper put his arm on my back, a consolation of sorts.

"Hey wait up guys."

A big bulk of a man came barreling towards us. If the voice hadn't warned us of his approach, the boulder headed for me surely did. I was startled by his tone of voice, Emmett sounded strained. None of the cheerful vitality he usually possessed. I watched him closely taking in the signs of stress and unhappiness.

"Emmett, are you okay?"

I spoke before I could think. I was too alarmed for his well-being to consider that it wasn't my place. I hadn't even considered that I might play a part in his unhappiness. My only concern was seeing my brother smile. He looked up, his eyes pained, and grunted. I frowned, something was wrong.

The three of us traveled swiftly, the light sound of our feet the only conversation. It was an awkward kind of silence that spoke more of what wasn't being said than what would be. I glanced over to Emmett often, trying to figure out what it was that was on his mind. Emmett's brow was crinkled, his eyes far away, and he was walking with a sense of instinct rather than direction.

I envied, just for a second that Emmett could move so gracefully even while his thoughts were so far away. Most of my life I had been incapable of grace. I walked between two giants of men, my head heavy with my thoughts. I decided to try a light subject for conversation, in the hopes of cheering Emmett.

"Who won at Guitar Hero?"

I got another grunt from Emmett and a vigorous shaking of the head from Jasper. Oh bugger, if Emmett wanted to stew than just let him. I walked with more authority, my annoyance causing a crunch with my every step. I managed a handful of steps before my guilt settled in. How could I be angry with Emmett? He was obviously bothered by something and if anything he needed my support.

"Some things never change."

"Um, excuse me Jasper?"

"You've spent this entire walk trying to figure out how to cheer up Emmett, when he annoyed you, instead of being upset with him you felt guilty for being annoyed."

"Yes, that would be a summary of the current events, what's your point?"

Jasper smirked again and shrugged, this time I grunted. Emmett snorted, the sound oddly echoing around us.

"The point Bells is that you're the least selfish person we know."

I looked up at Emmett, gladdened that he was smiling. I wasn't sure if he was making fun of me or genuine about his praise, it was sometimes hard to tell.

"Bella, he means it, stop doubting him."

Emmett's smile fell away and my heart ached. I should have just trusted that he meant it and let it be. Jasper shook his head and continued on. I followed him but my thoughts were circling. Was I really that selfless? Hadn't I, only moments ago, wanted my best friend to myself? Hadn't I caused this family to move, to change their lives for me? They had to be wrong I was plenty selfish. My head heavy with my thoughts, I followed my brothers as they wove through the forest.

"I thought our best course of action would be for both of us to work on our blood control. I could certainly do to have better control. I also thought that having more control over bloodlust would help you control the ardeur."

"But I don't have bloodlust Jasper."

This time both brothers laughed.

"Bells, why do you think you're constantly hunting or jumping Edward? You're not keeping up with your bloodlust."

I took a moment to ponder this, had I really been suffering the all encompassing blood lust so oft spoken of? I had continually needed to either feed conventionally or by pulling my strength through Edward.

"Then why am I so, I don't know, lucid?"

While Jasper took a moment to collect his thoughts, Emmett jumped right in.

"I think you're pulling on Edwards strengths."

"What."

My head was rocked by the thought. Jasper looked equally impressed as we stared at Emmett.

"What I'm smart too, I just don't need to show it all the time."

Emmett puffed his chest out to emphasize his preference for show.

"What do you mean that I pull on Edward's strengths?"

"It makes sense Bella. We have all wondered how your connection would manifest itself. We have all noticed how remarkably well you've handled your new desires. It makes perfect sense that you've been drawing on your bond to do so."

"It's hard not to notice when they're constantly humping in front of us."

Jasper had the decency to hide his face before his laughter took him over. Emmett had no such concern for me as he laughed boisterously while looking at me.

"I can't help it, if I could control the ardeur I wouldn't choose to have sex in front of anyone."

"Yes, that brings us back to the task at hand. I'm going to have you do one of the first tests Carlisle has made for us. Once we've gotten a hand on this we'll move up, until eventually we'll both be working on our blood lust."

"I'm just here for the ride."

"Why couldn't Edward come?"

"Actually, Alice and he talked, whatever she saw encouraged him to stay home."

"Maybe she just saw that you wouldn't progress with Edward here, maybe you fell back onto that bond like a crutch. Then she would see that you make progress without him."

Jasper and I both looked at Emmett; I'm sure with the same look upon our faces.

"What?"

"Nothing Emmett, you're just being rather astute today."

"Then tomorrow I'll be just a brute to make up for it."

I shook my head at them, boys.

"Let's do this then."

Emmett moved enthusiastically through the forest, obviously looking for something. They had yet to tell me what the test was, I was growing concerned. My brother's didn't need to communicate; they had an advanced form of silent communication. Emmett would grunt occasionally but almost all of their silent argument was hidden. Knowing Emmett as I do I could tell the change in each of his emotions by the puffing of his chest or the way he would cock his head to the side as a challenge. Had I not known them both as well, I wouldn't have realized they were arguing.

"Emmett is going to stay with you and guide you through the test. I'm going to go hunt, I'm not sure that I'm sated enough not to interfere with it."

My eyebrows rose in confusion, Emmett was arguing to get rid of Jasper. Hmm, interesting. I nodded to Jasper but knew that he understood my preoccupation. When Emmett raised his head his eyes were dark with something. I wished that I had Jasper's power to know a person sometimes more than they knew themselves.

I studied Emmett's body language, taking in the tight set of his shoulder's and the crease in his forehead. Vampires could wax poetically about their differences but when all else failed the human instincts in them rose. Whenever stressed or overwhelmed emotionally, the human always surfaced. I wanted to reach over and touch Emmett; it was an odd thing to realize.

Since the ardeur had overtaken my life, I found touch calmed me. Touch could do more than just satiate or pacify me, but I was learning that being connected to others wasn't what I had always feared. I had always kept my person separate from all others. I connected to my peers but only on a superficial level, we were young, we went to school, we were girls… It was never a connection of shared emotion's or deep thoughts. We were, therefore we had that in common.

Edward opened me, showed me that I could love and be loved deeply. Each day old fears fell away leaving room in that empty expanse of my heart to fill with more love for him. My family further opened me to a kind of love that I had always had but held in reserve. I loved my family as if they were a piece of me; they were limbs of my being, not separate people far from me.

I had loved my mother deeply, but had never felt that fully returned. My father was easier to read. He had a quiet way loving people. He couldn't find the courage to tell you, but by being there with you he was saying it. I missed his quiet strength. I found in my new life that I loved more and was loved more in return than I had ever had in life.

These thoughts were the reason that I wanted to ease Emmett's struggle. Before I would have ached more to know the cause of his thoughts, rather than how I could aid him. But I had grown and I had learned that some thoughts deserved to be buried in our minds, never to surface. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, before I headed to that dark corner of my mind.

"I found something perfect. You're rather difficult to do this for. Deer are perfect for this experiment but you don't like the taste of them. I think you thrill on the hunt, which means I can't just do this the easy way. Here's the deal, I'm going to go after that momma bear's cub that will enrage her. Once she's angry I'm going to open a wound on her. Your task is to stay here and not attack her."

"But the baby, it."

"Bella, I know it's sometimes hard for you to divorce yourself from the human in you, but that bear is an animal. How many babies did you eat as a human unknowingly because they were wrapped in plastic and frozen? That baby isn't likely to survive without its mother and consider what you would do without this test. If you don't gain control over your bloodlust you would be going after humans."

Reprimanded, I hung my head. He was right, but I hated that my life had to take anyone else's. But as a human I had done it without thought, because the packaging divorced me of what I was doing. At least now I was a vegetarian.

"I just stay here, there's nothing more to this test?"

"Bella, how was your eighteenth birthday?"

I was startled by the question; my first thought was the relevance of it. When I realized, rather quickly what he was saying, I was again reprimanded. I had no right to make fun of this process, or to take it too lightly. If I couldn't manage this, I would never manage controlling myself near a human. I imagined what my bite would do to the human, how one indiscretion might completely destroy the lives of those related to them. What if I took someone's Edward?

My silent heart throbbing with emotion and my head heavy with possibilities, I accepted the challenge. This may seem easy but it was just a stepping stone, I would not be the cause of such devastation to anyone.

Emmett moved quickly once I agreed. I watched with trepidation as he went for the cub. I couldn't help empathizing with the mother. Would I not destroy any threat against me or mine? There was a definite sense of strength from the black bear and her cub. As my brother moved around them, the smile on his face proof of his enjoyment, I realized something I had never seen before. Emmett was just muscle; he was the rock of our family. He was solid in his conviction, unmoving in his devotion, a bridge for us to lean on. But would he not destroy any threat that threatened him or his?

My thoughts were violently interrupted by the gushing of blood. The smell overwhelmed my senses. The aroma swelled in my nostrils and my mouth opened on its own accord. Venom dripped from my lips, coating my chin. The taste of blood coated my tongue and it was a sweet sort of torture. I could just take the kill and swallow all the blood for myself.

I imagined what a sweet desert the cub would be, once I satiated myself with his mother. I stepped forward, my body taut with awareness. I crouched ready to pounce. I swirled my tongue around in my mouth, taking in the richness of the bouquet. A thought clicked breaking me from my lust. Edward, he had endured this for me. What sweet torture it must have been for him to be near me, to want me so desperately, and only allow himself the smallest of tastes.

The venom spilling from my opened mouth made a gentle patter on the floor. I heard the splat against the leaf of grass. My eyes narrowed, a tint of threat surrounding my irises. The roar of the mother called to me. It was a siren's call to my need. I took another step. I seemed to be two people, one fighting to get closer, the other fighting to break free. Oh Edward.

I saw his face, the glow of love in his eyes. I stopped moving, holding myself rigid. The bear clawed at Emmett, missing him by inches. I saw Edward, his naked flesh under my nails as I wrestled him. I moaned. I couldn't say whether from the taste of the blood coating the air, or the vision of Edward. I heard his voice on the wind, whispering "you're mine."

The bear's neck was under my teeth in seconds. My jump was swift. I intercepted Emmett's next jostle with the bear and went straight for its jugular. I moaned deeply to feel the blood spill down my throat. I crushed the bear closer to me, the sound of breaking bones ringing in my ears. I drank deeply and more vigorously than I had before.

When I swallowed the last drop, I opened my eyes to the world. Emmett was smiling hugely and clapping his hands together.

"I knew you were a hunter. It's not just the blood that you don't like Bells; it's the type of animal. You need predators, simple prey won't sate you."

"If bear is this good, I can't imagine how great mountain lion must really be."

I wiped the venom from my mouth and chin, dirtying my shirt. It was relieving to be sated.

"You've gotta work them up, fight for your dinner. Plus you weren't with Edward this time, so you didn't have him to help you control yourself."

"But I did well staying put."

"Bells you managed a whole 30 seconds."

"Oh."

I felt crushed; I had thought I did well in the task. I didn't want to admit to Emmett that I wouldn't have even lasted that long without Edward invading my thoughts.

"Bells, don't worry that was your first time; my first time I punched Carlisle and took the animal from him, immediately after he had opened a wound. Edward had deer and he managed to eat half the herd before Carlisle exposed a wound on one. We all had to keep trying Bells."

I took this all in, imagining poor Carlisle dealing with both of them. He deserved sainthood. We started walking back towards the house. There was a comfortable silence now and the gnawing that I had ignored before was gone. I had been ignoring my needs too much. I needed to be more aware of myself and work harder and staying sated.

"Bells can I talk to you for a minute?"

Emmett turned from my side to lean against a tree. I tried to look at his face but he was hiding in the shadows.

"Sure Emmett, what's up?"

"I know I shouldn't say anything, Rose would kill me if she knew, but I can't be in the middle anymore. I hate having to choose sides. You're my sister and that means something, but she's my world. What would you do if Edward made you choose?"

"You mean between you and him?"

"Yes, what would you do?"

"Well, he's my everything; I would do anything for him. But having been left behind before, having had everyone choose someone else, I don't think I could do it. I would ask Edward not to make me choose and hope that his love for me would help him understand."

"Wow Bells and you're the baby of the family."

"You guys leaving changed me a lot."

"I know and I'm sorry about that. But that's just it, I can't do it again. I promised you and Edward that I would look out for you, I can't do that if my wife doesn't want me near you."

"Rose doesn't want us to hang out?"

"She's a little miffed at you right now, she thinks you're trying to replace her in the family and kick her out. She's being just a little unreasonable."

I was completely flabbergasted.

"But why, I mean, I know we fight sometimes but she's my sister, I would never do anything like that."

"I think she knows that too Bells."

"Wait a minute, what?"

"I think that she knows you're not trying to hurt her, I think she knows you would never try to kick her out, and I think she's run out of reasons in her mind to dislike you, so she's creating some."

"That's a little harsh, what have I done to her? This is old; I'm tired of constantly having to walk on eggshells around her."

Emmett sighed deeply, the sound bringing to mind the La Push shores. I shook my thoughts to focus myself. He turned to face me, the shadows know in his face, rather than hiding it.

"Have you ever put yourself in her shoes? Have you asked yourself just what it is about you that gets to her? She's deeply defensive when she's near you and is constantly expecting an attack. She's come to terms with your goodness but still doesn't trust it, don't you wonder why?"

"Well obviously. I've tried to understand her, to empathize with her, but I cannot. I don't know her well enough to understand why she detests me so. I'm tired of trying to please her."

"Bells, it's never been you. She said something the today that made it click for me. It's not you she hates, it's your innocence. You know what happened to her, but you don't know how that changed her. I imagine that before that moment she was a lot like you, except of course she knew what a beauty she was, you just ignore that fact. She made a choice, to trust her fiancé, it was a simple thing, a small one, but it ruined her. You were faced with the same choice, given everything she wasn't, because you could decide for yourself. The difference is you asked for it anyway. Your happiness with this life, that your choice worked for you, that your innocence wasn't just destroyed, it hurts her. She envies you more than she has envied anyone and she doesn't know what to do about it."

"Then what can I do about it?"

"Cut her some slack, try and invite her to things, instead of pushing her aside. Be yourself Bells, I don't know anyone who can keep from loving you."

I ducked my head, aware that I should be blushing. Emmett's laughter was coarse, the sound of his tension coating it. But he was laughing and that lifted my heart.

"I better get you back to Edward before he strangles me."

I laughed with him and it eased some of my heart ache. The least I could do with Rose is try and understand her. I may never know her, because I would never understand her secret truths, but I knew that they were there. It gave me a better way to understand her actions, one that I hadn't had before. Rose wasn't the mystery she liked to portray. She was a victim that rose from the ashes of her pain to be born of steel and wrath. I just had to find the heart under all the armor.

My thoughts stumbled through scenarios that would aid me in getting closer to my sister. It was frustrating to still have to work so hard to get close to her. Didn't she feel the ache of not being close? Emmett bumped into me and I awoke from my thoughts, again.

"You okay, I'm not trying to put this all on you. But I know your goodness will prevail, if anyone can get through to her it's you. I promised I would be there for you and I will."

"I'm okay, just a little stumped but you know I could never just write her off. She is my sister and I'd like for her to know that."

"Okay, now that I've just laid all that on you, I should do that brother thing and help you with something. What do you need fixin'?"

I smiled; Emmett had the very essence of brother to me. He would be my protector just because that was what he was. He had no airs about himself or his relationship with others. Emmett was honest and open about himself and his thoughts about you. He was a breath of fresh air.

"You want the ardeur; it's really cramping my style?"

I tried for light, not wanting to see the crease in his forehead again. It worked because his laughter shook the trees. My heart was lightened to see the stress easing from his face and shoulders. I imagined that it wouldn't be gone while things remained as they were between Rose and me, but at least I could ease some of his burden.

"Who wouldn't want the ardeur, all that great sex? It's a great excuse to get laid whenever or wherever you want. I could have fun with it. But I wouldn't be trying to control it so I could stop it. Nope, I'd want to control it so I could shoot it at random people like a sex gun. I would get Jasper all the time. It'd been funny to do to Carlisle. Imagine at school, get bored with class and shoot the teacher with a little sex."

"That wasn't what I meant."

"Yeah, you're a prude I get it. You want to get rid of the ardeur so you can only have sex once a week with white sheets."

"What do the sheets have to do with it?"

"I don't know that's what prudes do."

I shook my head at him, the smile tugging at my mouth.

"I'm not trying to get rid of the ardeur so I never have sex. I just want to be able to make love to my husband the way I want to. Imagine if every time you wanted to touch Rose a certain way, the ability to do so was taken from you. I just want to love him and be with him in the ways that are right for us."

"Did you ever think that you're going about this all wrong? Maybe you shouldn't be trying to stop the ardeur but make it work for you. Try fighting it while you're in it, like if you wanna do it on the bed not in front of the family, you fight the ardeur until you can. You need to make little changes, show the ardeur that you're not holding it back but just doing it in a way you enjoy more. I'm sure if you're happier the ardeur will be happy."

I'm sure that startled look was back on my face, because Emmett took one look at me and laughed.

"I've been married for longer than you've been alive, compromise happens."

"Or you sleep on the couch."

I couldn't help poking at him, but he took it as the jest it was.

"Stop trying to be all or nothing with the ardeur, try to work with it and make it part of you. Then you and the succubus in you will be happy."

"That's really good advice."

"That's what I'm here for, to keep sex in business."

I giggled as I moved back to the house. Emmett gave me a lot to think on, more than he even realized. It felt like I had a great weight on me. I had so many relationships to set right, so many emotions to juggle, that I felt there was no time to just be happy.

"There you are."

Edward's voice broke my revelry; I was wrapped in his arms before I finished looking up.

"I miss you."

He attacked my neck with his lovely kisses before speaking.

"Don't leave me for that long again, it was pure agony."

"You guys are disgusting; it was just a few hours, stop acting all lovey."

"Emmett, if you don't leave, I'm going to tell Rose how much you like the idea of my wife and Alice spending time together."

"Well it'd be better if my Rosie where there too."

"Emmett!"

"I'm going, stupid lovebirds."

"Now where were we love?"

"Mmm, I believe you were kissing me and telling me of your devotion."

"Oh yes, I do recall that I owe you a few whispered affections."

My smile grew wide. Okay, there was time for happiness. I may have felt overwhelmed trying to juggle the hearts of my family, but every one of them was worth it.

"I'm waiting."

* * *

**I haven't given up on this story. My husband is currently deployed to a dangerous place. It's harder for me to write when I'm heavily emotional. This story is about love and happiness and unfortunately my darker emotions keep bleeding into whatever I write. But I will continue this story. I hope to have this story updated soon. Thank you all.**

**Say**


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